Disclaimer: I do not, under any circumstance, own Yuyu Hakusho. Unfortunately. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~ THE DEMENTED YUYU HAKUSHO TALK SHOW!!!

Hosted By: Yusuke Urameshi!

With: Star Minamino, Kim Michaels, Kanna Konimoto, Hiei, Keiko Yukimura, Botan, Kurama, and Kaite!

Special Guests: The Yu-Gi-Oh Cast, The Cowboy Bebop Cast, Kero, Starr (she can be a guest, too!), Daria, and an appearance by Yuki Miyazaki!

Yusuke-*walks out and sits in the host chair* Hey guys! Welcome to the first episode of The Demented Yuyu Hakusho Talk Show! I'll call everyone out, so you'll get familiar with him or her. First out, Kaite!!

Kaite-*comes bounding out in a t-shirt and jeans, high- fiving Yusuke as he runs to his seat* Hey!

Yusuke- Kurama!

Kurama-*walks out and sits down, greeting Kaite as he sits*

Yusuke: Kanna Konimoto!

Kanna-*comes out in a white karate uniform, high-fiving Yusuke and Kaite, and greeting Kurama, blushing*

Yusuke- Kim Michaels! (Oh god, she's dressed like a slut again.-_-;)

Kim-*bounds out in a short black dress with a studded belt and stilettos*

Yusuke-Hiei!

Hiei-*simply walks out, greeting no one, and sits down*

Yusuke- Starr Minamino!!! (Wait, we got her here?)

Starr-*walks out with a white halter top and flares on, a white flower in her hair, greets the others, and sits down* Hi guys.

Yusuke- Keiko Yukimura! (Oh no.)

Keiko-*walks out and sits down*

Yusuke- And Botan!!

Botan-*bounds onstage in a very sporty looking outfit* Hi guys!

~*Crickets chirp*~

Botan- Very funny.

Yusuke- we have a really well done debut show today. But first, let's have Starr and Kaite explain their.um.attendance.

Kaite-I came because Starr's cousin put me up to it.I don't know about her.*points in Starr's direction*

Starr- I'm here because I had nothing to do on Saturdays.so I thought it was a good idea.I just hope I escape with my sanity.

Kaite- can we torture her to the point of insanity?

All girls- NO!

Yusuke- Let's bring out the first guest.Kero!

Kero-*flies out and sits on Yusuke's head*

Yusuke- You're Kero?

Kero- Yup!!

Yusuke- YOU DIDN'T TELL ME KERO WAS A LITTLE FLYING RAT!

Kero- I highly resent that!

Yusuke- Oh, go sit on Starr's head!

Kero-*flies over and sits on her shoulder instead* I'm not that cruel.

Starr- Oh, it's cute!!

Hiei- I can't believe this.

Keiko- I'm gonna go hang out backstage if you don't mind.I don't like little flying rodents.

Botan- I think it's simply adorable!!

Yusuke- you think everything's simply adorable.-_-;

Botan- Not everything.

Yusuke- Yeah, there's a few things.okay well never mind then.

Kuwabara-*busts through the door* HEY! I FOUND IT!! Oh, Botan, I didn't know you'd be here.

Hiei-*leans towards Botan* I'll pay you to put me out of my misery.

Botan-As long as you kill me first.

Kim- Kuwabara, I'll pay you to go the hell away!!!

Kuwabara- what does that mean?

All-*facevault*

Kanna-If you take the city bus to the last stop, my cousin will be waiting on you!

Kuwabara- Cool!*dashes out the door*

Starr- why did you tell him that lie, Kanna?

Kanna- I wasn't lying.

Starr-*blinks* Oh my.

Yusuke- Anyway.Kero, what's it like to be trapped in a book?

Kero- Dull and boring. I want cake.

Yusuke- Well, that's enlightening.how many clow cards are there?

Kero- Fifty-two. CAN I GET A SNACK NOW!?

Yusuke- all right, all right.Hiei, escort Kero to the snack bar.

Hiei-NO.

Yusuke-*Holds up the 'blackmail on Hiei' folder*

Hiei-You suck.*walks off with Kero not far behind*

Yusuke- Anyway.next guest.Starr?!

Starr- ME?!*not exactly loud, she's soft-spoken*

Botan- It was my idea.she's shy so I figured, why not?

Kaite-She forced me.I can't say no to such a pretty face.

Botan-*hugs Kaite* Awww!

Yusuke- Well, why not.Starr get up here.

Starr-*rises timidly and walks up, sitting and crossing her legs*

Yusuke-So, you're a kitsune?

Starr-Yes.

Yusuke- What exactly is a kitsune?

Starr-A fox spirit.

Yusuke- Oh.Okay I have been dying to ask you this.Are you in love with Hiei?

Starr- WHAT!?

Botan- YUSUKE!

Kaite-You know, you won't get it outta her, she'll run away.

Yusuke-I'll fix that.*presses a button and Starr is locked down by metal bars*

Starr-HEY!!!

Yusuke- You love him!

Starr- I DON'T!

Yusuke- YOU DO!!

Starr-I DON'T!!!

Yusuke-YOU DON'T!!

Starr- I DO!!! I mean.Wait.Oh; well you can't prove I said it!!!

Yusuke-*plays it back on a recorder and sets Starr free*

Starr-*sits back down*

Botan-You okay?

Starr-Yes.At least I think so.

Botan-*moves over one chair to sit next to Starr*

Hiei-*walks in* did I miss anything?

Kaite and Yusuke- Starr loves you!!

Hiei-*blinks* Is that all?

Kim and Kanna- Next guest: DARIA!!!

Daria-*Walks out and sits in the guest chair*

Kaite- Daria? It was supposed to be Starr's diary.oh well.YAY DARIA!

Starr-How mean!

Kaite- you'll live.

Yusuke- Daria, do you really like Trent?

Daria-To be politically correct, I take my affections and all other feelings for Trent very seriously and feel that that was an incoherently obvious answer.

Yusuke- Uh, what?

Daria-Yes.

Yusuke-Are you really dark and demented?

Daria-There's something out there.something.stupid.

Kuwabara-*busting in the door* I won't be here for the rest of the shows so best of luck!!!

Kero-*popping up* There's no snacks left.

Kanna-Stick around.there's karaoke.

Daria- I'll hang backstage for a while.

All but Hiei-Bye Daria.

Yusuke-Since the Yu-Gi-Oh Cast hasn't arrived, on to Cowboy Be-*is cut off by Yuki bounding in, and slipping on the floor*

Yusuke-What was that?

Hiei-Look down you idiot.

Yusuke-Yuki.YUKI?!*points his spirit gun at her*

Kim and Kanna-SHE ISN'T EVIL ANYMORE!!!

Yusuke-*scratches his head and shocks himself* I guess I just haven't seen you in a while.*helps her up*

Yuki-Uh huh.the Yu-Gi-Oh cast just got here.

Yusuke- Send 'em in.

Yuki- Okay.HEY GUYS!! COME ON IN!

~*The whole cast of Yu-Gi-Oh comes in and sits down*~

Yusuke- I just want to ask two questions for all of you.first of all.where did all this confusion about the Millennium items start?

Yami-I can answer that.the game Duel Monsters comes from the original game created by Millennia, one of the Egyptian princesses at the time.her father had an extremely short temper.and didn't like the idea of Millennia's card game. So he created the millennium items. He took the souls of Millennia, myself, and many other great duelists at that time, and sealed them away inside the Millennium items.

Yusuke-Okay.what's it like dueling in those big holographic stadiums?

Tea-It's pretty neat.the monsters grow so large, and they look so real.

Yugi-It's alright, to me it's no different than the card game on a table.

Joey- It's a wake up call, I'll tell ya that! Ya get hit with another monster's attack and the next thing ya know you're almost bein' blown off the stadium!

Mai- It's nothing special.

Kaiba- No comment.

Mokuba-It's cool.

Yuki-*walks onstage, tossing Kaite a bottle of saki.* Here.

Kaite-Yes!!

Yuki-*sits down next to Botan*

Kaite-*singing while drinking saki* You remind me of a girl.that I.once knew.

Hiei-*leaning over to Starr* I pity you.

Kim, Kanna, and Starr-*heads in hands*Oh no.

Yusuke- Uh.now, let's bring out.uh...Cowboy.Bebop.

Faye-*walking out* Oh look, the one singing's cute!

Spike and Jet-You don't discriminate, do you? -_-;

Yusuke- Spike, what's it like dealing with Faye all day?

Spike- it's a living hell.

Yusuke- kinda like me dealing with Kuwabara.Jet, what's it like to be a bounty hunter?

Jet- it's okay.I can get away with murder, but the worst part is the bounties.they're shit. You can't get any expenses form the chase covered and have anything left for you.

Yusuke- Well, Faye's a little.um.preoccupied at the moment.so let's break for a little open chat.

~*All the girls but Kim, Kanna, Ed, and Starr are fawning over Kaite. Ed and Ein are laying in the corner, asleep, Hiei, Starr, Kim, Kanna, and Kurama are chatting amongst themselves.*~

Kanna-*walks over to Kurama* Can I talk to you alone?

Kurama-Why not?*walks off with Kanna*

Kanna-You're awful quiet.

Kurama-I just don't feel like talking.*is cut off by Kanna kissing him*

Kanna-I.I.I love you, Kurama.

Kurama- I figured that.*kisses her*

Kim: I'm gonna go back stage for a while.I need an aspirin.

Starr-Poor Kim.her eardrums must be on the verge of bleeding.

Hiei-So are mine.um, Starr.

Starr-*looks at him* what?

Hiei-Yusuke told me about your little.um.confession.

Starr-Great.

Yusuke- Well, he had a right to know!!

Hiei and Starr-HUSH!!

Hiei-Why?

Starr-Why what?

Hiei-Do you love me?

Starr-I don't think that I know.I just do.

Hiei-That's not exactly the answer I thought I'd get.but it's pretty close.

Starr-*laughs softly* so now you're trying to be a psychic?

Hiei-No.but I have been thinking about doing this.*kisses her*

Yusuke- NOW EVERYONE IN HERE IS KISSING!!!!! (Almost.) I HAVE A THING AND A DOG SLEEPING IN THE CORNER, KURAMA AND KANNA KISSING.Oh.My.God.HIEI AND STARR?!*The both of them stop kissing and immediately start to blush* I hate to do this but.KARAOKE HOUR!!!!

Faye-*Snaps out of her trance* Oh, I had something planned for the girls.come on girls!!!*as she walks out, she goes back and grabs Starr by the wrist, dragging her backstage*

Starr- something tells me I'm not gonna like this.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~ *~*~Backstage~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Starr- I knew I wasn't gonna like this.

~* Mai and Faye have fixed up all the girls. They were all dressed in blue jeans and a red crop top, with stilettos, courtesy of Faye. Mai did their makeup & hair.body glitter, red eye shadow, the works.*~

Yuki-*is dressed up the way Faye and Mai had done her up, whispering to Yusuke* There's gonna be an embarrassing side show of "Jumpin' Jumpin'" on the main stage.mind announcing it?

Yusuke-Fine, when?

Faye-In a few minutes.

Starr-This shirt is way too short!

Mai-It's supposed to show the belly button, dear, now hold still..*Pierces Starr's belly button*

Starr-*yelps* MAI!!!

Mai- oh, It's not that bad.

Yusuke- And now, Starr, Mai, Botan, Faye, Tea, Keiko, (what the hell? Starr is bad enough, but KEIKO?!) Kim, Kanna, and Yuki, performing Jumpin' Jumpin'!!!! (God help us all.)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~On Stage~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

~*The girls whispering*~

Starr- I don't wanna do this.

Botan-Get over it. If I can do it, so can you!

Mai- Look at it this way: The boys are watching. If you do well, they'll probably be amazed, and probably confused, but still happy they've got a talented girlfriend.if ya blow it, it gives ya something to laugh about together!

Kanna- Big help, Mai.

Faye-I hope Kaite's watching.

Kim, Kanna, Yuki, and Starr- O.o;

~*Music starts playing*~

Mai, Faye, Botan, Keiko, Yuki, Kanna, Kim, Tea, and Starr:

Ladies leave your man at home, the club is full of ballers and their pockets full grown.

And all you fellas leave your girl with her friends, cuz eleven thirty and the club is Jumpin' Jumpin'!

Boy say he got a girl, yeah it's true you got a man, but the party ain't gon' stop, so let's make it hot (hot)!

Last weekend you stayed at home alone and lonely.Couldn't find your man, he was chillin' with his homies

This weekend you goin' out, if he try to stop you you're goin' off. You gotcha hair done, and your nails done too,

A new outfit and in ya shoes, ya need ta cupalei at the hottest spot tonight

You gonna find the girls rollin' in the Lexes trucks and Hummers.

~*The girls finish with their song and take their seats, leaving an extremely stunned crowd of boys*~

Kaiba-Who knew?

Kaite-*dropping his saki bottle but quickly recovering it* Holy crap!!!!

Yusuke-Uh, that was.unexpected.*looks at Starr*

Starr-You didn't know I could do that, did you?

Kurama and Hiei-*shaking their heads* But you didn't either, did you?

Starr-I knew I could sing, just not go as far as to pierce my belly button, let alone wear a crop top!

Yusuke- And next we have.oh no.Kaiba and his.Blue Eyes?

Kaiba-Oh great.

Kanna-You'll be singing "Brain Stew".

Kaiba-NO.

Kim-*hands Yusuke the "Blackmail on Kaiba" folder*

Kaiba-Kim, why did you do that?

Kim-So you'd be forced to embarrass yourself.

Kaiba- Omae o Korosue (Translation: I'll kill you.)

Kim-I love you too, Seto!

Kaiba-Do you have any idea at all what I just said, Kim?

Kim- Yes, you said you'd kill me.

Kaiba-She's a complete moron.-_-;

Kim-*pushes Kaiba up onto the stage and stuffs a microphone into his hand. She then releases the Dragon*

Kaiba:

~*Dragon roars, causing Starr to flinch and grab Hiei's arm*~

I'm having trouble tryin' to sleep. I'm counting sheep but running down.

AS time ticks by still I try, no rest for cobshocks in my mind. I'm on my own, here we go.

~*dragon still continues to roar, and Kaiba finishes his turn, looking humiliated*~

Kurama-That wasn't so bad, was it?

Kaiba-You don't know the half of it.

Keiko-He will. He's next.

Kurama-0.o; Alright, what do I have to sing?

Botan-Desert Rose.

Hiei-Great.

Starr-*cracking up*

Kurama-*grabs Starr by the wrist* if you think it's so funny, you're going to do it with me, Starr.

Starr- Great. -_-;

Yusuke- This is gonna be good.

Kurama and (a very reluctant) Starr:

I dream of rain, e-lay, e-lay

I dream of gardens in the desert sand, e-lay, e-lay

I wake in pain, e-lay, e-lay

I dream of love as time runs through my hand.

~*Kurama and Starr finish their song and take their seats.*~

Starr-That is the LAST time I laugh at someone who is about to do karaoke.

Hiei-*busts out laughing* The look on your face when he told you.it was priceless!!!

Starr-Yeah, well let's see you do better, hot-shot!

Kanna-Keiko, you're up.Just A Girl.

Keiko-Thank goodness, something I know!

All but Keiko- O.o;

Keiko-



Take this pink ribbon off my eyes. I'm exposed, and it's no big surprise.



Don't you think I know exactly where I stand? This world is forcing me to hold your hand!

'Cuz I'm just a girl, oh little old me, well, don't let me out of your sight.Oh I'm just a girl, all pretty and petite.

So don't let me have any rights!!! Oh, I've had it up to.here.

~*Keiko finishes her song to applause*~

Kaiba-Once again, who knew?

Mokuba-Were we supposed to answer the first time?

Kaiba- Mokuba.-_-;.Get backstage.

Mokuba-Gotcha.*walks off* 0.o;

Kanna- Hiei, you're up.oh no.

Starr-What is it?

Kanna-Bon Jovi.

Starr-*facevaults* Great.

Hiei-I am NOT doing this by myself.

Starr- Don't EVEN!!!

Hiei-Rats...I thought I could torture you again.c'mon Kaite.

Kim, Kanna, Yuki, and Starr- CAN WE HAVE EARPLUGS!?

Yusuke- No, you have to sit through the torture just like I do.

Kaite and Hiei:

This ain't a song for the broken hearted! A silent prayer for the faith departed.

I ain't gonna be just a face in the crowd, you're gonna hear my voice when I shout out loud.

It's my life.It's now or never! I ain't gonna live forever.I just wanna live while I'm alive

(It's my life) My heart is like an open highway.I ricoched [HOW do you spell that???] and did it my way.

I just wanna live while I'm alive.It's.My.Life!!!

~*Hiei and Kaite finish their song, returning to their seats, being fawned over by the girls*~

Yusuke-*Blinks* Um.Okay.

Kaite-Saki anyone?

Starr-Why not? I've done everything else today.*takes a few swigs of saki and is almost instantly drunk*

Spike-Oh boy.has she ever had a drink in her life Kaite?

Kaite-No. But it is stronger than traditional saki, so.

Spike-Pass it here, Kaite!!

Starr-I had a great idea just now.Mai, could you help me?

Mai-Sure!

~*The two girls go backstage*~

Spike-I wonder what they're up to.

Kurama-There's no telling.

Tristan-Especially with Mai around.

Yusuke-So the pointy haired freak finally speaks!

Tristan-WATCH IT!!

Yusuke-^_^

~*Mai runs onstage and clears her throat*~

Mai-PRESENTING THE ACT OF THE CENTURY!! MISS STARR MINAMINO PERFORMING "WORK IT OUT!"

All but Mai-WHAT THE HELL!? 0_o;

~*the curtains open to reveal Starr, dressed in an extremely short gold dress with slits up the sides to just before her hips, gold heels, and gold cat earrings. She had on glittery gold makeup, and her hair was down, reaching almost to her waist*~

Hiei-Who is that again?

Yusuke-Starr

Kurama-Shy, quiet Starr? No way!

Kim and Kanna- It IS Starr!

Botan-Mai did a really good job on this one.

Starr-

How you doing honey baby? You know I don't ask for much but, For a girl spending time alone can be pretty rough.

but, I get a knock on my door.I know its yours for sure

can't wait for the bedroom, so just hit the floor

Is ya'll alright? I don't know but I know what's happened to me girl.

Is ya'll alright? .break it down now!



~*Starr finishes acting crazy and snaps out of her saki-powered daze*~



Starr-Huh? Ack! WHY AM I DRESSED LIKE THIS!?

Yusuke-That's what we'd like to know..

Starr-*sits down* I could die on the spot.

Botan-For someone on saki, you were pretty good!

Yusuke-That's it for the show this week, see ya next time!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*Backstage after the show*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

~*The girls are all pressed up against the door, and Kaite and Spike are training.shirtless*~

Starr-Spike's kinda cute.

Botan-So is Kaite.

Starr-Don't be demented, he's my brother.

~*The door collapses, causing all the girls to fall into the room*~

Kaite-Uh.Starr?

Starr-Don't you say a WORD!*takes off running*

~*All the other girls are either knocked out or sitting against the wall*~

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Well, that's my first Humor fic! R+R and feel free to flame!