LotR vs. The Lake
By Psyco101, JilseponieAngel, and Twilight Fox
Disclaimer: We don't own LotR. Angel doesn't want to (Angel makes a gagging sound). And if I (Psyco) did it wouldn't have a movie about it (It'd be so cheesy). I don't know about Ponie or Fox if they want to own it but J. R. R. Tolkien wrote it got original claim of it but now his son Christopher Reuel Tolkien owns it since J. R. R. died (Angel: "how sad...they shoulda kept it a book! Psyco: Weirdo Angel: DUH! And you're a Psyco. Psyco: Naw, it's just my namenote the sarcasm). So...onto the Author's Note!
A/N: This is my (Angel) second attempt at getting Flames for a LotR fan fiction. He he, Psyco101 gave me a suggestion...read if you dare. MWAHAHAHAHAH *cough* right...uh...enjoy! (And DON'T forget to flame)
"Is this the sea?" Pippin asked.
"No I don't feel drawn to it." Legolas said. "I think this is just a big lake. But now that you mention it I would like to see the sea. All 2--"
"Legolas, please snap out of your trance that you get every time you think about the sea." Boromir snapped.
"Sorry."
"Well what do we do now?" Pippin asked.
"Hey guys look here it's a raft!" Sam said pointing to a bright yellow raft, with some paddles in it.
"Let's go out on the lake!" Frodo cried running towards it.
The Hobbits beat all the others and Sam and Pippin grabbed the paddles, while Frodo and Merry sat in the middle.
"Hey no fair I wanted to go out first." Gandalf complained.
"Ha, ha." Merry said as Pippin and Sam started paddling out onto the lake.
"NO! I demand that I go on the lake NOW!" Gandalf said in a whinny voice and lifted his staff.
The little raft began to float back.
"NO!" Pippin cried. Pippin and Sam began to row harder.
Suddenly a large tentacle crept out of the water and wrapped itself around the boat.
"AAAAHHHH" all four hobbits screamed.
"It's the WATCHER" Legolas cried pointing out to the lake where everyone could clearly see it.
"We know." Gimli, Gandalf, Boromir, and Aragorn cried in unison.
Legolas looked shocked, "Well, I never." he said in a huff and walked away.
Gandalf looked at the hobbits plight with interest, "Now how are we supposed to save them?" he asked.
Gimli, Boromir and Aragorn shrugged, "I don't know." they said.
Frodo, Sam, Merry and Pippin screamed like girls, "HELP!"
Sam gripped onto a passing tree branch. Pippin, Merry and Frodo looked back at their friend helplessly as the Watcher plucked him off the tree and he disappeared under the water. Pippin, Merry and Frodo exchanged looks, "We're all going to die." Pippin said quietly.
Merry nodded calmly, "Yes.... And it's the authors fault again."
Pippin and Frodo looked even more terrified, "You mean we're still in a fan fiction?"
Merry shook his head, "Not still, just another one, and I believe this would be a sequel to our little camping experience."
Pippin and Frodo blushed with embarrassment at the reminder of the camping trip.
"What are we going to do?" Frodo asked.
Merry shook his head, "I don't know, we're at the authors mercy."
Frodo and Pippin got on their knees and looked up at the sky, "Oh wonderful knowledgeable authors, have mercy on our poor souls, save us from this horrible fate."
An echoing voice comes over all, "No, I'm having to much fun."
Merry whispers, "It's the first author, the one that doesn't like us."
Pippin and Frodo look up again, "Oh magnificent second author, save us from thy friend, and save us from the author."
The same echoing voice comes, "She can't." evil cackle, "I have control of the computer, I control thy fate." With that a tentacle of the Watcher comes out or water and plucks Pippin out of the boat, "AAAAHHHH, Nblrlbbleble."
Frodo and Merry exchanged looks and gulped, this was definitely not what they had in mind for an enjoyable rafting experience.
The echoing voice spoke again, "Merry you are being way to helpful, and ruining my fun, Bye-bye for you."
Another tentacle came out and snatched Merry.
Frodo looked all around him terrified. He looked back at shore; they were just sitting there doing nothing!
"You blokes! HELP! She's going to have me killed!"
Yet again the author comes back, "Tsk tsk Frodo. They shan't be helping you. I'm having to much fun. Now...how shall I have you be killed off? Any suggestions?"
Frodo gulped, "Um...send me back to shore?"
Annoying buzzing sound, "Wrong answer. In ya go."
Frodo suddenly tipped backwards and into the lake. He floundered on top.
"That is so not fair!" he cried before sinking.
Back at shore
Gandalf shook his head, "Pity, they were such nice hobbits."
Aragorn looked at him incredulously, "ARE YOU NUTS! They smell, they eat too much, they're short, AAAAND They have incredibly large and hairy feet. That's disgusting!"
Boromir nodded, "Yes, very disgusting."
"Oh I can't believe you two!" Legolas cried walking up to them, "Our friends, not to mention the RING BEARER are not at the bottom of the lake, possible the bottom of the Watchers stomach! And if you haven't realized it, that watcher could possible be invisible and heading this way!!!"
The group looked around wearily, "We should get out of here."
The turned and ran. THUMP! They all fell back on their bottoms.
"OUCH!" they cried in unison.
"Struth! It's a wall." Gimli cried
"We know." the others cried.
Gimli looked stroppy; "Well you don't have to bloody carry on like a sheila about it!"
They stood up again.
"What's going on?" Aragorn asked, "This is way to...abnormal."
"And the bush trip wasn't?" Gimli said, "By Jingos, I'm not Australian and here I am talking like them!"
The others exchanged looks, "What's Australian?" Legolas asked.
You mean you don't know! Oh come on! Struth mate, it's just the best place to live!"
"Um.. Gimli, when did you leave Middle Earth?" Aragon asked.
"We aren't in Middle Earth anymore you Dongos! We're on Earth, just plain Earth, with their dopey bloody governments and their wars!" Gimli cried.
An echoing voice came, "Hey Gimli I'd watch it if I where you. I live on Earth!"
Gimli looked around, "Who said that, you scared the becrickey out of me?!"
"ME! You moron, the author. Common please tell me you've figured it out!"
Legolas looked suddenly excited, "Oh I know I know! We're in a fan fiction."
(Author fans her face, "OH if he only had a brain.")
"You're such a blonde." Aragorn said disgusted.
"HEY! I am not! See the hair? It's BLEACHED!"
"From what original color?" Boromir asked.
"Blond."
Everyone exchanged looks, yet again.
Author snickers, "Okay it's time to end."
A peacock feathered covered box appears.
"Everyone in."
"No!" They said together.
The first author appears wearing a Dare t-shirt again, and shorts, her hair down for once and flying wildly around her face.
She glares at the characters, "What did you say?"
"NO!" they said again.
"I hear voices," she said threateningly, "They don't like you right now. GET INTO THAT BOX!"
The group looks terrified, "Y-yes ma'am, author, person, sir."
She glared harder at them, "Majesty."
They all bowed, "Majesty." They hurried into the box.
Angel smiles contentedly, "good boys."
Turns to the lake and whistles. The watcher comes lumbering out, looking quite full.
"How's my little watchypoo?" she said in a baby voice. The watcher makes a purr/growl sound. Angel smiles, "Good, now go in the little boxywaxy for me and leave the poor icky Lord of the Rings people be, I have much planned for them."
"URHUR." the watcher said and lumbered into the box.
Screams fill the air, "GET IT OUT."
The box lid closes and no more noise.
Angel smiles satisfactory, "Now if that doesn't get any flames nothing will."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A/n: I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed even though I was thoroughly disappointed in the lack of flames, I hope to receive more from this one. Hope you enjoyed it and stay tuned for LotR Goes Hiking, Coming Soon to a Computer Near You.
P.S. Starbrat How'd you know we were going to do another one? We didn't even know until we went to Carles Jr. for lunch a few a days ago, and that was before our review!
P.S.S. FFFFLLLAAAMMMEEE!