Hello! This story is another parody, but this time, I am parodying a couple things. I recently read a story depicting some Smashers singing "We Signed a Contract", by Fandroid. The author's name was ikeyrev37, and I found his/her work creative, original, and a joy to read, so go read him/her writing. As such, I will be parodying, "Cuphead the Musical", by Random Encounters with some Smash characters similarly to how the aforementioned people did it. Please enjoy!
{All characters and videos belong to their respective owners; I've also changed the lyrics quite a bit, so you might wanna watch the real thing before reading this}
Cuphead and Mugman slowly made their way to Master Hand's office for a "little chat" they had been called for. "Do you think this is about *gulp* that time, Cuppy?" Mugman asked, shaking. Cuphead shook his head, held his little bro's hand, and stepped through the door. They had been the first indie-game characters to step into Master Hand's office since Shovel Knight, so the air was incredibly tense.
Master Hand gestured the duo forward, and while they complied, the hand began, "Good evening, Cuphead and Mugman. I need you two to help me with something very important". Cuphead, intrigued by the offer, agreed. Mugman did as well, even though he had beads of condensation all over his porcelain head. "Great! I need you to help me settle a little conflict between some of the Smashers. They don't seem happy on a subject that they won't fill me in on. You two need to investigate. Now, go". As the two left, Mugman caught sight of some people gathered in the courtyard, and they did not look happy.
'Once upon a time, there was a little fellow named Cuphead', Bowser read to the Koopalings, 'he and his brother had a bit of a gambling problem, and things kind of got out of hand". Dharkon chuckled in the background as the Koopa King read. "The townsfolk met that night to discuss the problem. Knowing that Cuphead, would soon be coming for them."
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"You've all probably heard the rumors", Rosalina began. "About this plucky little fella named Cuphead", Ivysaur sneered. "He's coming to collect on our deals with the Dharkon", Toon Link shuddered. "And we need, to stop him", Dr. Mario agreed.
"Hey, he's coming this way so beware!" Rosalina warned, her voice projecting so far it hit Banjo-Kazooie. "Say! Let's shoot him right out of the air! Ha ha ha!" Ness bellowed. "I, could put him on icing myself", Peach teased. "And we three veggies won't be so good for his health", the Pikmin cheered.
"Hm, let's, just, smash him", Kirby mumbled. "Or whack him with a trout... Ah!" Leaf cried, dropping Bubbles the Squirtle. "We could thrash him", Little Mac and Captain Falcon hollered in unison. "And then pour his insides out!" Toon Link snickered darkly, squeezing Ezlo like a toothpaste tube.
"We're gonna defeat Cuphead', the group cheered, 'we're gonna make him cry. We're gonna defeat Cuphead, with a big goodbye! We're gonna defeat Cuphead! We're gonna make him pay! His debt to the Dharkon, is coming due today!" "Oh, just wait till I get my wings on that Cuphead", Kazooie squwaked. "I'd like to chip his china", Wendy O. Koopa agreed.
"I'll, see that his stocks are cut short! Yee-ouch!" Meta Knight squealed, accidentally squeezing the eyeballs on his hands together. "While I call in the cops to come "bee" support", Wendy mused, holding up her very expensive cellphone. "Why not give him the ride of his life?" Diddy Kong screeched, crashing his car into a wall. "Then strike that snob with a briar, sharp as a knife! Ha ha ha!" Ivysaur cackled, showing off the razor-sharp vines he could generate.
"Let's use science!" Dr. Mario suggested as Mega Man stepped forward, painted silver with a stoic expression on his face. "And arm ourselves for war", Snake whispered from his box. "Sky-high violence—", Banjo started. "Is what Cuphead has in store", Kazooie shrieked.
"We're gonna defeat Cuphead! We're gonna make him cry", the crowd agreed. "We're gonna make him fish-food", Leaf giggled. "And zen veel make him vry", Snake chuckled in a French accent whilst throwing a grenade. "We're gonna defeat Cuphead', the group continued, 'we're gonna make him pay! His debt to the Dharkon, is coming due today!"
"One, shift of the stars, and the tide is sure to turn", Rosalina predicted, stroking her Luma.
"Too, bad Cuphead's about to lose big", Little Mac and Captain Falcon harmonized, creating a slot machine out of thin air.
"Three, heads will hunt him till Cuphead feels the burn", Smolder announced, releasing a Flamethrower.
"For the rest of his headlining gig!" Daisy sang, twirling her parasol.
Meanwhile, Cuphead began talking to Crazy Hand.
"They call me Crazy, cause that's who I am. A royal pain who's diabolical plan, to catch some fighters needs a kiddo or two, so come on Cuphead, kid, I'm talkin' to you', Crazy Hand sang, placing his pinky around Cuphead, 'come shake my hand. We got a deal? Good, cause now it gets real!"
Suddenly, Dharkon was floating in front of the small porcelain child, ominous and foreboding. "You, agreed to my task and you lost!' Dharkon boomed, 'you, accepted the odds, now you'll cough, up the cost. Don't, mess with me, kid, or I swear; I'll take your soul from your head like cheap chinaware."
"Scare him!" Meta Knight screamed
"Scorch him!" Ness laughed
"This Cuphead kid is lame", Toon Link scoffed.
"Taze him!" Dr. Mario yelled.
"Torch him!" Smolder screamed.
"And then Down-B just the same", Kirby bellowed as he used his Stone Ability on a Cuphead plush.
"We're gonna defeat Cuphead! We're gonna make him cry!" the crowd harmonized.
"It's his final curtain", Daisy commented.
"And he'll be launched high!" Meta Knight agreed.
"We're gonna defeat Cuphead! We're gonna make him pay!' the crowd continued, "his debt to the Dharkon..."
"Is coming due today!" Crazy Hand suddenly intervened. "Is coming due today!" the crowd screamed in response.
"...and they all lived happily ever after!" Bowser finished, closing the book and saying goodnight to his kids.
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Cuphead shuddered, but he knew he could handle the fighters, even if he had to do it on his own. He would shoot for the starts of it was the last thing he did.
Cuphead and Mugman: Collect their prize!
-End of One-Shot
So, what did you think? Let me know in the comments! Also, if you couldn't tell, I made the lyrics a lot more kid-friendly, as to not scare any younger readers. Once again, this video came from ikeyrev37's Cuphead music video parody, so go read him for more details. And this also came from Random Encounters's, "Cuphead the Musical", so go watch it for the real lyrics (but be warned, some dark topics are hinted at. Watch with caution). Thank you for reading, Angel is out!
