She'd been pottering around in her office for at least half an hour before anyone heard the banging and crashing.

Shelley had left Daniel in the infirmary, fast asleep, a mixture of tiredness and the drugs Doctor Lam had given him when he'd arrived. It felt as though she hadn't slept for days. But sleeping next to him again and just made her anxiety worse. Knowing that he had been a few minutes away from death again had brought everything home.

Having read Rodney McKay's report on what had happened on the Asgaard planet had left her feeling cold. She knew it was what Daniel had wanted to do but still the thought of how close she was to losing him. It hadn't been the first time and it wouldn't be the last time. It was just that every time it happened, Shelley found herself in the same place, in her office re-arranging everything.

The last time, after Daniel had been taken by the Ori, just before they'd used the ark, Shelley had moved her desk and computer table around. The time before that, when Daniel had been turned into a Prior, Shelley had refurnished her entire office in the middle of the night! It was just a defence mechanism, to try and take her mind of almost losing her husband.

Shelley sat on the floor in the middle of her office, her heart pounding and tears rolling down her face. Her head looked up, seeing a familiar face in her doorway.

"Go away," Shelley said.

Vala stood in the doorway, wearing a rather fetching multi coloured night robe and her eye mask sitting at the top of her head. She blinked several times, her eyes fixing on the figure sitting in the middle of the room.

"I could hear you all the way from my quarters," Vala said, not moving.

Shelley watched as the dark haired woman came into her office, without even being asked, which was nothing new.

"Don't you ever come in without being asked?"

Vala looked at her blankly.

"No. I thought you might want to talk? How's Daniel?"

Shelley looked up, not looking as put out as when Vala normally said his name. She was just as concerned for him as everyone else had been.

"He's asleep. I just needed a break."

Vala was always the first person who asked her if she wanted to talk about it. The last person Shelley wanted to talk about it too and was usually the first person she talked about it too. Vala sat on the floor, crossing her legs.

"You didn't tell him, did you?" Vala asked.

Shelley shook her head, knowing what Vala meant. It was something she had only told a few people, Sam obviously and unwittingly, Vala. The woman seemed to have radar for gossip. And this was as big as it got. She had only been back from Atlantis, herself for a few weeks and wasn't ready to tell everyone, including Daniel, just yet.

"No. I was going to but, after what he's been through."

"I thought that something like that, he'd want to know about. It's exactly what he needs."

Shelley shook her head again, standing up.

"Maybe in a few weeks! Till he's back on his feet! And I don't know why I'm even talking to you about this."

The redhead was a little bemused at herself. Vala wasn't normally the one she confided in. Where was Sam when she needed her?

"Because I'm here! So go, let it all out."

Shelley stood at her desk, the palms of her hands, outstretched on the wooden surface. It seemed that every time Shelley was in a mood, Vala was always around. As though she was waiting for her to flip out. She still didn't understand why? If Vala was trying to be supportive or something more sinister! Although whenever they talked, Shelley found herself thinking more clearly and more positive. Looking back, the woman had been around for the most important events in her life, over the last few years. Vala had been the one who had told her about Daniel being taken by Adria and had even stayed with her for 2 days and nights.

"Why does he have to keep putting himself in danger like that? And why am I surprised when he gets hurt. Every time, it's like..."

Shelley stopped, mid sentence, realising where the conversation was going. That was the last thing she wanted to talk about.

"Like what?" Vala asked, adjusting her eye mask,

The redhead took in a deep breath before exhaling her answer.

"When he was ascended! Every time something like this happens, that's all I can think about it. But, the next time he..."

She stopped again, the realisation of what she was about to say, knocking her out cold.

"The next time he might not be so lucky and I can't do anything to.."

Vala stood up, standing behind Shelley.

"You have to talk to him. The two of you can't carry on like this. You have to tell him how this is affecting you and... well you know what,"

Shelley turned around. Several tears had fallen down her face. She sniffled, trying to compose herself.

"He knows all about it. How every time he goes through that gate that I'm terrified that he'll never come back. That I'm going to lose him."Shelley said.

"But that's not all, is it?"

Vala knew that there was something else going on. Shelley bowed her head, looking down at the floor. Not wanting to make eye contact with the woman. She raised her hand, wiping the tears from her face.

"Every day I wish he'd leave the SGC, so we can live a normal life! But deep down I know that I couldn't let him actually leave."

Shelley propped herself up against the desk, letting it all out.

"That's why I keep going through this, time after time. Vicious circle,"

Vala adjusted her robe, turning her head to see if anyone was watching.

"The last thing I'd want him is to take a 9 to 5 desk job. I just

want him to be a little less in the firing line from time to time." Shelley said.

"There's going to be a time when he's gonna want to stop and he'll need you to be there for him," Vala said.

Vala had seen first-hand how hard it had been for Shelley over the last year or so. The last straw had been Daniel being almost electrocuted whilst being away on Atlantis.

"And I will be. I just wish it would be more sooner, than later."

Shelley straightened herself up, looking for a moment at her watch. It was almost 6am.

"I'm gonna go back to bed," Vala said.

"You do need your beauty sleep," Shelley quipped.

There had to be at least one put down in their conversation. And why should it be Vala all the time. Shelley did get one in now and again.

"And you need to tell Daniel..."
"I told you. I need more time. Last thing he wants right now is to worry about me."

Now Vala remembered just how stubborn she really was. Daniel had told her that it ran through her O'Neill blood. A trait that his girls would already inherit, due to his own stubbornness!

The redhead walked the few short steps towards the hallway. She looked back at Vala.

"Promise me that you won't tell him, not until I'm ready!"

Vala stared at her. She didn't want to keep secrets from Daniel. But this was Shelley's secret to tell and not hers.

"Okay, okay. Just do it soon, before it gets too late."

Shelley nodded, agreeing. Soon her secret would be out!