Title: Curing Selfishness
Disclaimer: I Don't own this... or anything for that matter, so no point in suing me.
She'd always known she was selfish. People may have labeled her selfless, but she knew the truth and the truth was that when it came down to it, she always thought about herself first. It was almost as if she couldn't help herself, hard as she tried she continued to be selfish but it didn't stop her from trying to cure her self.
As a child, her mother had always reminded her to think of others before herself and had even suggested that if she ever found herself being selfish, to compensate for it by doing something of no benefit to herself, to do an act that would help others greatly and she took this advice and followed it.
Following this advice, given to her a lifetime ago, led her down a varied and interesting (although unpopular) path. A path where she studied excessively, helped her friends fight Voldemort, faced heavy disapproval with little complaint, stayed by her famous friends side no matter what and campaigned for the rights of house elves.
Whenever she felt like taking time off for herself, caving to popular opinion, doubting a friend or embracing the fact that she had someone to wait on her hand and foot. She forced herself to do something that epitomised the opposite of whatever selfishness she has considered. Yet despite her best efforts it never truly cured her. She was still selfish.
When the issue of the Marriage Law was first raised, she had in fact been relieved. She would only face the new Azkaban if she didn't marry in the specified limit of time decreed by the ministry. Her logical mind calculated and her selfish heart had embraced the fact that being who she was – Hermione Granger, one third of the "Golden Trio", a war veteran and one of the most visible and well known heroes of the wizarding world – that someone would marry her and save her from that fate.
Whilst this had been true it had taken a minute to comprehend what she was expecting her friends to surrender. Harry was in love with Luna, Ron was in love with Lavender, Neville was in love with Ginny, all of the Weasley's either dating long term or engaged and the rest of the order all with attachments or friends to save of their own.
Could she ask them to sacrifice their lives for her? Her heart said yes. Would she allow her self to? This time her head provided a resounding no, she wouldn't allow her selfishness to rule her life as she had been allowing it to in the past. With that idea in mind, she concocted a plan so that, when faced with an emergency order meeting the following night, she could feign with enough skill to earn acceptance from all, the existence of a friend who had offered marriage, an offer that enabled her to turn down the well meaning but sacrificial offers they were making. Nor was it too hard for her to ensure that they were too caught up in wedding plans of their own to ask too many questions.
Worries were made known by all of course as her fiancée did not show up during anyone else's weddings – Hermione's own wedding had been planned after everyone else's at her insistence- but she assured them that he had been busy and they all believed her as they had never had cause not to before.
It was the day before her supposed wedding that, having seen all her friends marry, she turned herself into the Ministry of Magic immediately after sending everyone owls containing the news. Her selfish heart had wanted to be saved every moment, crying out to be heard, but she had muffled it as best as she could. She refused to be the reason that a friend lost a chance at love so so she could live a more comfortable life.
She had always known that she was selfish, people may have labeled her selfless, but she knew the truth and when it came down to it, five years in the new wizarding prison and the rest of her life living as a muggle didn't sound so bad – not if it could cure her selfishness.