Disclaimer: I. Own... NOTHINGGG~ Sucks, don't it?

A/N: Sooo... this is a humorous alternate ending to the first chapter of my story, Heartbreak Warfare. It starts where Heartbreak Warfare left off. My friend wrote some of it, I wrote the other part... Enjoy~

Nagi leaned down to make out with his 'girlfriend' but before he could reach, Rima pulled him away from her.

"WHAAA- What do you think you're doing?! I know I have not been the best ex-girlfriend, but I know that you don't really like that herpes-infected freakazoid!" Rima scolded him.

The so-called 'herpes-infected-freakazoid' ran off through the park, trying to hid her so-called 'cold sores.'

Rima blushed. "Whoops... I guess I just let myself go!"

"Alas, we are alone." Nagi smiled at Rima, trying to seduce her.

Rima turned away and ran through the park, almost completely flipping over the short (very short) new teacher at Seiyo that had been taking a leisurely stroll through the park.

"Rima, wait!" Nagi called after her.

She looked back at a dismayed Nagi, but by not paying attention, she ran into herpes-girl, almost popping one of her blisters.

"AAAAAAARGGGGHHHH!" Screamed the poor dimwit.

"EEEWW! You almost got your herpes juices on me!" Rima screeched. "OH NUUU~ While I was running I dropped my disco stick! I CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT MAHI DISCO STICK~ I NEED MUH DISCO STICK DAMMIT~!"

Herpes girl looked confused, while Nagi was still running towards Rima. He wasn't paying attention to where he was going, and Rima was looking at the ground, trying to find her disco stick. Both running towards each other, they collided. A head-on collision.

"Er... sorry. I guess." Rima said, still looking for her disco stick. She didn't even notice that it was Nagi she bumped into. She looked up. "Have you seen a-- oh, Nagi... HAVE YOU SEEN MY DISCO STICK?! I BET YOU HAVE IT~"

"Uhm... what the fuck is a disco stick?" He asked, clueless.

Lady Gaga walked up to the two of them. "Allow me to explain, little monsters... a disco stick is... either a dancing pole or a penis. I really can't remember now. FUCK."

Nagi and Rima looked around, unsure of what to do.

"Allow me to help you," Beyonce walked up to the trio. "BOY, WHAI YOU BLOWIN' UP MAHI FONEE~?!"

"Honey-B, we ain't doin' tha music video..." Gaga muttered. "Retard." She said under her breath.

"BITCH I HEARD THAT~" Beyonce yelled. The two got into a slap-fight. Nagi and Rima just watched in awe. "NO MOAR HUNNY-BUNz FOR YOUHHHHz~~" Beyonce screamed.

They both paused. "I never wanted your honey buns, you just kinda shoved 'em in my mouth after you caught me off-guard. Y'know that hat was kinda distracting..." Lady Gaga explained.

"OH SHUT UP BOTH OF YOU!" Nagi suddenly yelled.

They turned to him, still slapping each other some.

"I want you two to stop it this instant. Now, you are friends and you. Need. To. Work. This. Out." Nagi grew impatient, completely spazzed for a moment, then settled down.

Rima glared at him.

"Fine." They both said at the same time, with a loud sigh.

"YAY. Now I want you two to kiss and make up."

"Kiss?" Rima asked him.

"SHHH." He said, looking at Beyonce and Lady Gaga intently.

Just then, Jay-Z walked up behind the four. "HELL NO. She's mine!" He yelled at Lady Gaga, pulling Beyonce away.

"DUNN GO ALL CHRIS BROWN ON ME PL0X!" Beyonce begged.

Rima and Nagi slowly trudged away from the scene, not wanting to be involved in case anything went down...

After that, Nagi and Rima made up, got back together and everything was fine. The herpes-freakazoid also known as Nagi's 'girlfriend' died of herpes... (well what the fuck did you expect? Lung cancer?) And Lady Gaga, Beyonce, and Jay-Z worked out their little problems...

TEH ENDZEz~! (Incest, you say?!) :D