Prologue

Life is made up of choices.

Not all choices are life-changing. Most are small. Simple. Some last no longer than a moment. Some do change lives. And some...some choices change entire destinies.

This is a choice that changed everything.

I. Beginnings

Severus hears them all the way from his house. Shrieks of laughter, echoing off the pitted pavement and the faded whitewashed walls. He looks around. No one is watching. Da is a muffled heap on the battered couch, snoring, the empty bottle still gripped in one hand. Mum's at work. She's always at work now. No one will notice if he's gone.

He follows the shrieks. The street is almost empty. An old woman with a cat on her lap gives him a strange look. He hurries on, painfully conscious of his too-short jeans, his bare feet and the shabby coat that's far too big and flaps loosely around his skinny frame.

The shrieks grow louder. He skids to a stop and ducks behind a cluster of bushes. Two girls his age are swinging on the old rusty playground. The one closest to him is almost as skinny as him, her eyes wide and fearful in her small face as she watches her sister kick her legs out and swing higher. "Lily, don't do it!" she shrieks, but the other girl only laughs and lets go of the swing. He catches his breath, but instead of falling the girl seems to fly, soaring lightly through the air to land gracefully on her toes. Her older sister makes a face. "Mummy told you not to!" She pushes herself off the swing and props her hands on her hips. "Mummy said you weren't allowed, Lily!"

Lily reluctantly settles back down onto the ground. "But I'm fine," she says, still giggling. "'Tuney, look at this. Watch what I can do."

Petunia glances around, frowning, and cautiously follows her. Lily walks over to the clump of bushes. He crouches lower, holding his breath as her green eyes flick over him without recognition and stoops to pick up a fallen flower. "Watch this," she says, grinning. Petunia comes closer, torn between disapproval and curiosity. Lily uncurls her fingers. The wilted blossom sits in the middle of her palm, opening and closing its petals like an eerie, many-lipped oyster. Petunia stumbles back. "Stop it!" she cries.

"It's not hurting you," Lily says, frowning, but she folds her fingers back over the flower and lets it fall back to the ground.

"It's not right," Petunia says stubbornly, but her gaze lingers on the flower when Lily looks away, longing in her small face. "How do you do it?" she adds curiously.

"Isn't it obvious?" he bursts out, scrambling to his feet. Petunia shrieks and retreats behind the swings. Lily stares at him, startled. He flushes, suddenly realizing what he's done, and fervently wishes he could duck back down in the bushes, but Lily is looking at him with a mixture of suspicious and curiosity. "What's obvious?"

He shifts nervously from foot to foot, glancing at Petunia, but she's still hovering by the swings a few yards away, and Lily is still looking at him with those suspicious green eyes. "I know what you are," he says, keeping his voice low so only she can hear.

She folds her arms. "What do you mean?"

"You're...you're a witch," he whispers, torn between nervousness and hopefulness. Lily looks insulted. "That's not a very nice thing to say to somebody," she says indignantly, and turns and marches over to join her sister.

"No!" he says, flushing even deeper, but he runs after her, his bat-like coat flapping behind him. The two girls stare back at him in identical disapproval, clutching one of the rusting swing poles as though it's the safe spot in a game of tag. He ignores Petunia, his black gaze focused on Lily. "You are," he insists. "You are a witch. I've been watching you for a while," he stammers out. "But there's nothing wrong with that. My mum's one, and I'm a wizard."

Lily's eyes widen, but Petunia laughs suddenly. "Wizard?" she says scornfully. "I know who you are. You're that Snape boy! They live down Spinner's End by the river," she tells Lily contemptuously, and whirls back on him. "Why have you been spying on us?"

"I haven't been spying," he says, not entirely truthfully, and tugs uncomfortably on his too-big coat. It's a warm day and he's sweating, but the other kids have teased him about his smock-like shirt, the one mum made for him because she couldn't buy one, and Petunia's scornful gaze is on his coat. He keeps it on. "Wouldn't spy on you, anyway," he adds spitefully. "You're a Muggle."

Petunia doesn't understand the word, but she can hardly mistake the insult. "Lily, come on, we're leaving!" she says shrilly, and turns and marches off. Lily obeys, glaring at him as she runs after her sister.

He watches them go, scowling, and kicks the dirt, bitter disappointment welling up inside of him. His shoulders sag. He turns and slowly walks back down the street.

She comes back the next day.

"Pst!"

His parents are fighting again. He listens to the sound of Da yelling and Mum yelling back, huddled by the side of the house with his back against the wall. Da is cursing again, words the older boys at the dock throw around when they're drunk. Mum is shouting at him. Da took the money again. He came home with his face all flushed and his breath smelling funny again.

The ugly sound of a slap echoes off the white-washed walls. Da always hits him and Mum when he's like this. Severus hugs his legs tighter and presses his hands over his ears. He can still hear them.

"Pssst!"

He starts and looks around. A familiar red head appears around the corner of the neighbor's house. Severus stares. Lily flushes and gestures impatiently for him to come over. He blinks, then stumbles to his feet and hurries over. For a moment he thinks he's dreaming, then she grabs his arm and yanks him into the closest clump of bushes and he yelps.

"Shh!" Lily says. He stares at her, disbelieving. "Why're you here?" he stammers.

Lily flushes deeper. "I needed to talk to you," she whispers. "But 'Tuney didn't want to, so I snuck out." She hesitates. "Were you telling the truth? About me being a -a witch?"

He looks at her. Her green eyes are serious, her face alight with excitement. "Yeah," he says. Lily hugs her knees to her chest. "Prove it," she says fiercely. "Prove you're not lying."

"How?"

"I dunno. Do magic. You're a witch too, right?"

"Wizard," he corrects, but now he's excited, too. "Watch this." He breaks a twig off the bush and holds it out to her, frowning in concentration. The twig slowly crumbles, green leaves withering into dust. Lily's eyes widen. "Wow," she breathes. "Can you do other stuff, too?"

He shifts. "Some. You need a wand to do real magic, though." His black eyes flick back up to hers. "You already knew, right?" he asks eagerly. "That you're not like the rest of them. You can do stuff they can't."

Lily is still staring at the crumbling twig. "Yeah," she says softly. Her small chin lifts. "I can lots of stuff," she informs him. "I can make our dog do stuff and make things move and hide my vegetables so my Mum doesn't know I didn't eat them. If I had a wand, could I do more?"

"Of course," he says. "My mum has a wand, and she can do lots of stuff."

"So there are others like me? Can 'Tuney do magic, too?" Lily says hopefully.

He shakes his head. "No. Only some people have magic. Most get it from their parents, like me. But some people are born with it. Like you. The ones that don't have magic are Muggles, like your sister."

"Oh." Lily's forehead wrinkles. "Okay." She tilts her head to one side. "Hey, do your parents always yell at each other?"

He flushes dully. "Sometimes. Usually just when Da's drunk, though."

"Oh." Lily looks at him solemnly. "My name's Lily," she announces. "What's yours?"

"Severus."

"Server- Sever-" She makes a face. "How do you say it?"

He grins crookedly. "Severus. Seh-ver-us."

"Severus. That's a funny name."

Now it's his turn to make a face. "It's the name of a famous wizard from way back. My mum likes to tell me stories about him."

"Really?" Lily's eyes shine. "There are famous wizards? Like Merlin from the stories about king Arthur?"

"Yeah," he says, getting caught up in her enthusiasm. "I can tell you about them. I know lots of stuff about magic," he adds importantly.

"I want to know," Lily says eagerly. "I want to know everything."

He grins. "I'll tell you," he promises. "All of it."

She comes to see him a lot after that. They meet in his hiding spot, the place by the river he goes to when Mum's at work and Da's drunk. The trees grow close together, forming a small thicket, just big enough for the two of them. He sits across from her, acutely aware of her bare toes brushing his. Lily's small chin is propped on her knees, her green eyes shining in the half-gloom. It's still too warm for a coat. His lays discarded on a clump of roots, but Lily either doesn't notice his dirty, smock-like shirt or care. He keeps talking. "And the Ministry can punish you if you do magic outside school, you get letters."

"But I've done magic outside school!" she protests. He waves it aside. "We're all right. We haven't got wands yet. They let you off when you're a kid and you can't help it. But once you're eleven" -he pauses for effect- "and they start training you, then you've got to be careful."

Lily's green eyes are wide. Wordlessly she picks up a fallen twig and twirls it, and he can see the light in her face as she imagines sparks trailing from the tip. Then her expression dims, and she drops the twig and scoots closer to him. "It is real, isn't it?" she asks earnestly. "It's not a joke? Petunia says you're lying to me. Petunia says there isn't a Hogwarts. It is real, isn't it?"

"It's real for us," he says. "Not for her. But we'll get the letter, you and me."

"Really?" Lily whispers.

"Definitely," he says, and he sees the hope bloom on her face again. "And will it really come by owl?" she asks, her voice still hushed.

"Normally," he says. "But you're Muggle-born, so someone from the school will have to come and explain to your parents. I asked Mum about it."

Lily nods. "Does it make a difference, being Muggle-born?" she asks curiously.

Severus hesitates. His gaze flicks over her small face, pale in the shadows, the dark red hair and bright green eyes looking back at him.

"No," he says. "It doesn't make any difference."

Lily relaxes. "Good," she says, evidently relieved.

"You've got loads of magic," he says hastily, trying to reassure her. "I saw that. All the time I was watching you..." His voice trails away. She's not listening anymore, lying back on the dead leaves and looking up at the glimmer of sunlight peeking through the branches overhead. The light catches on her hair, turning it to flame, and he soaks in the sight of her.

"How are things at your house?" she says abruptly.

He tenses, dropping his gaze. "Fine."

"They're not arguing anymore?"

"Oh, yes, they're arguing," he says shortly. He picks up a handful of leaves and methodically begins to shred them. "But it won't be that long until I'll be gone."

Lily is watching him with a strange expression in her eyes. Pity. He doesn't like it. "Doesn't your dad like magic?"

The corners of his mouth twist sharply. "He doesn't like anything, much."

"Severus?"

The bitter smile vanishes. He wishes she would say his name again. "Yeah?"

"Tell me about the dementors again."

"What d'you want to know about them for?"

"If I use magic outside school-"

"They wouldn't give you to the dementors for that! Dementors are for people who do really bad stuff. They guard the wizard prison, Azkaban. You're not going to end up in Azkaban, you're too-" he stops and goes back to shredding leaves, his face red. Lily tilts her head to one side, puzzled, but then a branch rustles behind him and Petunia tumbles out of the trees with a yelp.

"'Tuney!" exclaims Lily, surprised, but Severus leaps to his feet, startled and angry. "Who's spying now?" he shouts. "What d'you want?"

Petunia flinches, breathless and flushed at being caught. Her eyes narrow. "What is that you're wearing, anyway?" she retorts, seizing onto the first thing she sees, and points at him. "Your mum's blouse?"

His fingers curl into fists. A crack echoes through the air as a branch snaps off overhead and hits Petunia squarely on the shoulder. She staggers back with a cry and bursts into tears, clutching her shoulder. Lily starts forward. "'Tuney!" she says anxiously, but Petunia is already fleeing. Lily whirls on him. "Did you make that happen?"

"No!" he says defiantly, but a part of him is afraid of the look on her face.

"You did!" she says accusingly, and starts to back away. "You did! You hurt her!"

"No-" he says desperately, ignoring the lie. "No, I didn't!"

Lily is still looking at him, angry and hurt. With one final burning glance, she turns and runs off after her sister. He takes a step after her and stops, angry and miserable and confused.

"She'll come back," he whispers half-heartedly to the empty clearing, but the words sound hollow.