Title: I Can Only Wonder
Author: DesertFlowerSimion
Summary: Trinity tries to come to grips with Neo's secretive side.
Rating: (PG) some adult themes
Category: Angst
Spoilers: Extremely minor Reloaded reference.
Disclaimer: Man I wish I owned the Matrix films. Then I would be rich and famous instead of unemployed and in debt. But no, alas, the Matrix and all the characters in it belong to the Wachowski brothers and their genius.
Author's notes: I have no idea where this piece came from. I remember writing the poem, and I think I just picked up on some small ideas and did some free writing from there. Anyway, I like it nonetheless, and I hope you do to.
I can only wonder
Footsteps on the metal grated floor
Tentative breathing outside my door
I sometimes wonder if you know what I know
If you feel what I feel
Just at the sound of your footsteps
It's getting late and I need to get some rest. A fatigued soldier's no good to anyone and I need to be prepared for anything. But it's hard to sleep when you're always so disturbed. I gaze down at your furrowed brow and wonder what you're dreaming. I can only wonder because you never tell.
There's always something hidden behind your dark eyes. There's always an unnamed fear that haunts you in your sleep. Too many times I've seen you awaken with tears glistening in your eyes. And I want to know why, I want to understand. But you never tell me and I wonder sometimes if it is because you don't want to, or if you really can't physically bring yourself to speak of it.
Sometimes I feel like getting angry and demanding an explanation of you, but I can't do that. I have to respect you. You need my support. But then I guess that's the reason I want an explanation. To know what you're going through so I know how to support you.
Your eye's flash open, again glistening with tears, and for a moment I am shaken by their intensity. You look up at me, concern and fear making their way across your face. I kneel down and gently meet your hand with mine. It seems a little more than ironic that even with all the troubles we face everyday, whenever we are alone it doesn't seem to matter. Your face relaxes and you smile slightly as I gently caress your cheek.
"Are you okay?" I half whisper.
You stroke my hand tenderly, almost gratefully and beckon me with your eyes. "I'm fine. It was just a dream Trin."
I lie down next to you and hold you close, breathing in your scent. I love you so much, but there's nothing I can do for you but this. I pray it will be enough for now. I still want to know, but I know you won't reveal it. You never can bring yourself to speak of it, and now I can only wonder where to go from here.