Pairings: UraIchi, GrimmUlqui, StarkHarribel, Lilynette/?, Gin/?, Renji/Byakuya, Ishida/Orihime, Rukia/?

Warnings: Battles, swearing, yaoi, some crack, age gaps (Ichigo will be 18 however), possible future smut

Hello Everyone! I'm Hana-taichou, author of this fanfiction. This idea came to me as I was sat in class with no internet, boring ol' Othello, and a laptop. I've noticed there is NOT enough UraIchi fics, so I have decided to input some of my (shitty) fanfiction. Enjoy!

'Thoughts'

"Speech"

"Hollow speech"

"Zanpaktou speech"

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach (if I did it would be shit) the rights and characters are all owned by Tite Kubo. Any possible OC's will be mine though.

Anyway, ON WITH THE STORY!

Prologue: Flashback- Ichigo's first 2 months without powers

Two months. It had been two months since he had lost his powers. He hadn't even been conscious for the first month, the second had been horrible. Saying goodbye to his best friend, Rukia, watching her fade away. Ichigo shook his head with a scowl, as though trying to shake away the thoughts. 'I'm in class, now isn't the time to be thinking about this' he thought, attempting to concentrate on Tenaki-sensei, but failing miserably. He sighed inaudibly as Ishida suddenly shot up out of his seat, running out of the classroom shouting something about the nurse's office. 'Hollow. That's the fifth time today' thought Ichigo, his frown slightly deeper than usual. The amount of times his 'friends' shot out of class now had decreased dramatically since he'd lost his powers, but today seemed to be more than usual. Ichigo doubted it was anything big, and it was hardly a surprise with the murders recently. People all around Karakura were being killed, so that meant a lot of spirits, and more Hollows. Ichigo sighed again, before itching his arm discretely, pulling back the sleeve to check the thin cuts on his arm before pulling it down again before anyone could notice.

Ichigo had never had the incentive to self-harm before, but he found that the pain helped him, kept him grounded in the sudden calm and peace of his laugh. It was disturbingly quiet in his head now, and he wasn't used to it. Ichigo was a war veteran now, peace just wouldn't work anymore. He needed the adrenaline of battle, the bloodlust, the incentive to win, to protect, and without his powers he couldn't do that. It was too quiet.

The bell rang jarring him out of his melancholy thoughts. He packed his things away slowly, not in a rush to join his chattering friends as they hurried out the door, not even glancing at him as they left. That was the way it had been the last month. He had started it so he couldn't blame them. He couldn't stand the pity in their eyes, the pain he felt when he was with them, the painful memories of his powers. They still had theirs, so it was almost like a slap in the face. The very people he once fought to protect, now had to protect him and the rest of the unsuspecting town. 'Weak' his mind supplied, directed at himself. His fist clenched around his book bag handle as he left the school grounds, heading in the direction of his house.

He couldn't even stand to be at home anymore. Karin had properly come into her powers, Yuzu could see Hollows and was showing signs of having her own power; Yuzu appeared to have the ability of telekinesis, whereas Karin was similar to Chad in the respect she had super strength and speed. Even Isshin, his fool of a father, had returned to full power. Ichigo kicked a stone angrily. It wasn't right. His sister's shouldn't even know about any of this. He had failed to protect them. Ichigo kicked open his front door, thankful that he was first home these days, and stormed upstairs, slamming his bedroom door behind him, throwing his bag onto the floor and collapsing face first onto the bed. He lay there for almost a full ten minutes before shifting to get the small pocket knife out of his trouser pocket. He flicked the blade up and dragged it slowly across his arm, hissing at the initial pain then sighing happily. He made 6 relatively deep cuts, before closing the blade and going to the bathroom to run his arm under the tap to clear the blood, wrapping a new bandage (he kept a supply in his room now) around the cuts and curling up on his bed to nap for a bit. He didn't sleep anymore- the nightmares stopped that- so he napped when he could. Thankfully this was one such occasion, and he slipped into dark oblivion gratefully.