I Hate You! Chapter 1: horse a
"Kokichi. Wake up."
"Huh?"
Kokichi Oma, the Ultimate Supreme Leader, opened his eyes. He was in a puddle of his own drool on the hard wooden desk. Shuichi Saiahara, the Ultimate Detective, stood next to his desk, his gaze harsh.
"Class is over, Kokichi. Get up before Monodam makes you get up." Shuichi sighed.
"Oh! Sorry Shuichi!" Kokichi leapt up and grabbed his things. "The lesson was just soooooooo booooooring today. I couldn't keep myself awake!" He laughed.
The Detective frowned. "You slept through every period yesterday, too. Now hurry up. I have to drive you to the dorms today, and I need to meet Kaede after school."
"For a date?"
"No. For a project. The group project." Shuichi pulled his hat over his eyes.
Kokichi raised an eyebrow. "What group project? I never heard about any group project."
"That would be because you've been asleep for the past two class days, Oma."
Maki Harukawa, the Ultimate Child Caregiver, stood in the corner. Her gaze cut through Kokichi.
"A-ah! Maki, don't scare me like that!" He jumped.
Shuichi sighed. "She has to wait on Kaito. They're partners for the project."
Kokichi raised his eyebrow again. "So? What about this project?"
Maki spoke up this time. "It's a project where we have to merge our talents with our partner in a way that effectively displays human nature. At the end of the semester we'll have a showcase and we'll be graded based on our scores from the other classes. 77 and 78 will be judging ours, and vice versa."
Kokichi sighed. "Ugh. That sounds like a lot of work. I might just bullshit my part like I always do."
"Your partner won't like that," Maki retorted.
"What?"
Shuichi lifted his hat up. "We were randomly selected in pairs. Me and Kaede, Maki and Kaito, Ryoma and Keebo, Tsumugi and Angie, Kiyo and Gonta, Miu and Tenko, and Kirumi and Rantaro."
Kokichi's expression sank. "Wait... that means I have..."
"Himiko." Maki and Shuichi both spoke at the same time.
Himiko Yumeno, the Ultimate Magician. Famous for her head in the clouds and obsessing over "magic," she and Kokichi were quite at odds. Though they were both quite lazy, that was where the similarities ended. Himiko was serious and cared about her work and reputation. Kokichi was carefree and did not.
He blinked. Then facepalmed. "God dammit! I can't bullshit my way through this!"
Shuichi laughed. "Himiko will kill you if you ruin her reputation. She means buisness about this project, Kokichi."
Kokichi sighed. Shuichi handed him a slip of paper. "She left her Hope's Peak Chat ID for you since you were asleep. She told me to tell you to message her about it when you had the chance."
Kokichi sighed. "Alright. Let's go then."
He rose from his desk. The three of them left the classroom.
Kokichi walked in and sat on his bed in the dorm. Gonta Gokuhara, the Ultimate Entomologist, and his roommate, was nowhere to be seen. I guess he had work to do with Kiyo, he thought. He looked at the chat ID Shuichi had given him.
Guess I might as well, just to fuck with her.
[The Ultimate Supreme Leader (Kokichi Oma) has requested to be friends with the Ultimate Magician (Himiko Yumeno)]
[The Ultimate Magician (Himiko Yumeno) has accepted. Start a chat?]
Oma: heeeeeeeey himiko!
Yumeno: oh. oma.
Yumeno: shuichi gave you the briefing?
Oma: yep! and im ready to work!
Yumeno: ...that's a lie.
Oma: oof! you got me lmaoooooooo
Oma: i totally wanna bullshit this project
Yumeno: you're not allowed to.
Oma: but i dont wanna work
Yumeno: I don't care.
Yumeno: my reputation as the ultimate mage is resting on this project.
Yumeno: everyone will laugh at me if this is a bust because of you.
Oma: calm yourself little miss magic
Oma: my projects always get perfect marks
Oma: or have you forgotten the science fair?
Yumeno: nyeh...
Yumeno: screw you for that! that was supposed to be mine...
Oma: just saying
Yumeno: well we need to meet up at some point to get started!
Oma: dont we have the whooooooooooole semester? :P
Yumeno: you're right...
Yumeno: tenko is just pushing me to get started as soon as possible.
Yumeno: she wants me to be done with this project as soon as possible.
Yumeno: since you're a degenerate male or something like that.
Oma: oh no!
Oma: youve been afflicted by the godawful-lesbian-chabashira-neo-aikido-feminism curse!
Yumeno: she's reading this...
Yumeno: you're dead in class tomorrow.
Oma: not if i skip and she cant catch me ;D
Oma: gonta lets me read his notes anyway so theres no reason for me to go to class!
Yumeno: we get class time to come up with ideas you know
Yumeno: you're not going to waste it and make me look like an idiot
Oma: maybe ill show up once her and miu leave the room
Yumeno: whatever
Yumeno: just
Yumeno: be ready to start i guess
Kokichi laughed to himself. He knew how to get under everyone's skin. And he knew not even Tenko was ballsy enough to break into Gonta's room. Gonta was the nicest guy ever, but trying to break into his room where he kept his bugs was a death sentence.
A knock on the door. "Speak of the devil-"
"Kokichi!" the teddy bear of a man, Gonta, entered the room. "You made it home today without Monodam beating you up!"
Kokichi frowned. "Thanks for noticing, Gonta."
Gonta laughed. "Gonta was out working with Kiyo on project. We decide to have exhibit on bugs that ancient cultures used in rituals! Or at least that what Kiyo suggested. It sound cool!"
Kokichi smiled. "Himiko and I are already all the way done with our project. We finished it in two days!"
"WHAT!? ALREADY!?" Gonta looked astounded.
"Just kidding!" Kokichi busted out laughing.
Gonta frowned. "You scared Gonta, Kokichi. You make Gonta think he behind!"
"Nah, you're not behind. You're good. We actually haven't started at all."
Gonta smiled and laughed. "That sound more like Kokichi and Himiko!"
Kokichi shrugged. "I don't know when we're going to work on it. I guess whenever I feel like it. Oh, and-" he looked up at Gonta. "-don't tell anyone why I'm skipping class tomorrow. I trust you can show me your notes after?"
Gonta frowned and raised an eyebrow. "Gonta suspicious. But okay. Kokichi can see Gonta's notes."
"Thanks." Kokichi suddenly remembered that he had an appointment. He rushed to the door. "I'm headed out for a little while."
"See you later."
Gonta kept his eyebrow raised as Kokichi left the room. He left often, but never this abruptly.
Kokichi sighed as he leaned against the vending machine in the back of the music room.
Another figure approached. Kokichi looked up.
It was Nagito Komaeda, the Ultimate Lucky Student of Class 77. He was holding two cans; one of Mountain Dew for himself, and one of Grape Panta for Kokichi. Kokichi took the Panta and started to drink.
"Thanks for showing up, Komaeda," Kokichi smirked. "I have a favor to ask."
"What would that be?" Nagito grinned. "What would be so important that the Ultimate Supreme Leader would need MY help? You've already graced me with your presence, but you need my help?"
Kokichi waved him off. "I have a proposal. From one troublemaker to another."
Nagito raised an eyebrow. "I tend to not think of myself as a troublemaker. I like to think of myself as a stepping-"
"Yeah, yeah, the stepping stone thing. Listen. I need you to assist me. I want all the dirt that you have on all your classmates."
"Why?"
"I'm conducting an investigation of sorts behind the scenes. Rest assured, there's something in it for you. A fanboy like you could only want one thing from me."
Nagito's eyes widened. "You don't mean..."
Kokichi smirked again. "You get free access to DICE, all of its records, and become an honorary member for supporting the Ultimate Supreme Leader in his private investigations."
"I'll tell you all of it! Anything to see the legendary secret organization, DICE, in all its glory with the Ultimate Supreme Leader at its command!" Nagito's eyes widened and he jumped up and down a little.
"That's what I like to hear, Komaeda. Now, that information..."
Kokichi entered his dorm quietly. Gonta was already asleep. Nagito had had a lot of dirt on Class 77 and a little on Class 78. Kokichi had written down every last word.
He put on his captain's hat and cape, then stepped in front of his dresser.
Pulling the top handle and placing his finger on a pad on the wall, a secret passage revealed itself. Every dorm had a secret passage to the Ultimate Labs of its inhabitants.
Kokichi stepped onto the staircase and walked into his Lab. Scattered across its Batcave-esque design were childish blueprints and boards detailing all sorts of information on every student from the three classes he knew personally.
He took out the notes he had recieved from Nagito and sorted them accordingly.
That should do it for now. Komaeda had more dirt on them then I realized. I guess that's to be expected from an Ultimate fanatic. He sure has kept extensive tabs on his classmates.
Maybe this can help me in my investigation. He shook his head. I got Komaeda to keep quiet by promising him membership. But others may not keep so quiet about it if they find this place.
Lightly smiling, Kokichi put his head down on the table.
Before he knew it, he was asleep.