AN: Request for tumblr user Rainbow-catastrophe!
It's been a long time since you've last felt butterflies in your stomach. You've always felt stupid for feeling that way, but you had a really hard time wrapping your head around the idea of you being in a relationship, let alone not being straight, and every time he used to touch you even if only by accident, you had that reaction. It made you feel weak, and it reminded you of the possible disapproval from your Bro, but at the same time it used to fill you with a new thrill of excitement. You knew Rose wouldn't say anything about it, except maybe just "I told you", but you couldn't faze down the fear of people judging you. You used to think of it as borderline guilty pleasure, but now.. it's different.
You aren't too familiar with a heart pounding so fast and hard it almost hurts and seeming to catch up in your throat anymore. When he gave you one of those ever so rare and precious smiles.
When you kissed for the first time. When you had to tell him that you were afraid of loving him, but you'd give anything to be with him. When you'd hide together in your secret corner of the meteor to watch cheesy romcoms just for reasons. You could have sworn you were about to have a heart attack to say the least.
You're not used a lot to fiery, passionate kisses anymore. That way you'd meet in secret just to abandon yourselves to the burning desire of contact. You remember when your lips met each time with a hunger that every time seemed like it could be the last. Like you'd never see each other again.
All those nights spent together, cuddled up onto, into each other, afraid of loosing the other if you dared shift only a little. Those cuddle sessions on your small single bed, where the only way to sleep was holding tight to one another. They're all but a fond memory.
You're not used to those things anymore, simply because you have loved him for so long that there simply is no need for all those teenage rushes. He is your sanctuary, your refuge, your home. You are his shelter, his protection, his shoulder to cry on. You are his everything, like he is yours.
Now that the game is over and the years have gone by, all you feel when you see him is the overwhelming feeling of adoration warming you up inside like a cozy blanket. Like you've just gotten home from the longest trip of your life, and you're finally back to the world you're familiar to. Instead of butterflies, when you see him you feel every muscle in your body gently relax until you're in his arms and everything goes numb except for his warm, pulsing devotion. Just like yours for him.
When he holds your hand into his, you feel your heart trying to adjust to the beat of his, slowing it's pace and releasing all the tension built up during the day, instead of beating faster and faster as if it could burst.
You still share intense nights together, but where there used to be the fear of loosing each other, there's now the confidence you're forever his and his only, and he is yours. You still can't keep yourself quiet when you share this intimacy, and you never will, but when you wake up you're sleeping comfortably side by side, and every other night you find him scooting up to bump into you. He snuggles against your chest, in your arms and you stroke his unruly hair as he falls asleep.
Your kisses are a lot different. They've lost all their neediness, their greed for more. There are so many of them now, with no shame and no guilt. Sweet and fresh kisses when you've just had a sip of ice cold apple juice, warm, lazy and welcoming kisses when you wake up together.
As you ponder on all those considerations, he snuggles up to you from under the covers, and you hold him, kissing his forehead.
"Karkat?"
"Yes, Dave?"
You hate saying it because you think it's the cheesiest sentence in the entire English language, but you can't find other words that convey your feelings like those silly three words.
"I love you."
He smiles, showing his adorably crooked teeth. He kisses your bare chest and sighs happily.
"I love you too Strider."
It's been five years since you've felt butterflies or adrenaline coursing quickly through your veins, but you believe you'll never stop feeling so happy and in love when you're together.
-Fin