A/N I had this idea irritating me for ages, so I just decided to write it up regardless fo whether it's any good...and I just love the crazy!Warblers so much. This is what happened...
D/C I don't own glee.
"He's not my boyfriend, Nick, for the last time! We're just friends!" Blaine was yelling in frustration, running a hand through his hair. He wiped it subtly on his grey slacks when he realised how much gel he had displaced.
The door burst open and Wes and David charged in, breathless.
Jeff piped up, "Blaine says Kurt isn't his boyfriend." He pouted dramatically, but it soon melted when Nick launched on top of him and started sucking his face.
"Eww, guys, break it up!"
Blaine watched in mild disgust at the sickening cuteness of the pair as they ignored Wes and David's simultaneous cry. The three stood awkwardly until the boys separated, only David snickering at their still linked hands.
"Well, as adorable as you two are, I don't think we need to see that more than twice a day guys! And the coffee table, again, seriously?" Everyone looked at it. Blaine had broken one of the legs during one of his lonely games of 'The Floor is Lava' and he swore that every time the couple randomly started making out, the table would get knocked and re-broken. Wes bent down and tucked the leg back under.
He cleared his throat. "They aren't dating, just madly in love and too scared to admit it," he said matter-of-factly.
Blaine spluttered. "I'm not in love with him! He's just my friend!"
Wes coughed loudly, and it sounded oddly like "oblivious..." David nodded sagely, and Jeff and Nick smirked. Blaine didn't notice.
The silence stretched awkwardly.
It snapped as, once again, the door banged open. Thad pounded across the room at top speed away from Trent, who was apparently trying to catch him.
"Oh! Hey Blaine! Where's your boyfriend?" The boy stopped running abruptly, tumbling to the floor when Trent smacked into him, the pair ending up squashed behind the couch.
Blaine took a deep breath, and then opened his mouth angrily. "Okay, who the hell has told everyone that I'm dat-"
"Sooo..." David spoke excessively loudly, effectively cutting off Blaine's question. "How about some last minute practise, eh?" Wes looked at him approvingly, before sighing, relieved. Blaine didn't miss the nonchalant...ish high five they exchanged.
"But I wanna hear about the love of Blaine's life!" Jeff whined, blond hair flopping across his face. He was backed by nods from all of Blaine's other so-called 'friends'.
He gritted his teeth, trying to remain dapper. "He is not. The. Freaking. Love. Of. My. Life."
The change in the eager expressions on the faces of his audience was unnerving. He was now faced with six sets of puppy dog eyes to rival his own pair.
"Alright." Wes caressed his gavel thoughtfully. "How about, in order to prevent my friends and I from accidentally freaking out this Kurt and causing him permanent mental scars, you tell us ten things we ought to know about him."
The mentor who resided in a part of Blaine's brain dedicated to a certain countertenor woke up – Wes had said the magic words. He Warblers were prone to disturbing new recruits before they got used to the insanity anyway, even without what appeared to be some scheme of Wes' encouraging it.
And he really wanted Kurt to settle in well.
"Fine. Give me a minute." Blaine organised a few points in his head. Nothing wrong with being prepared.
"Okay, he loves fashion. Like, he's completely obsessed with it. So don't argue with him unless you really know what you're talking about." Blaine looked up to see Jeff and Nick writing notes. They made eye contact with him and answered his questioning look with, "We're recording it for your wedding." Confused, Blaine looked over to Wes, only to see him listening intently to something David was muttering in his ear and sombrely shaking his head. Trent and Thad were sitting silently behind the couch staring at him. To be honest, it was ever so slightly creepy.
He brushed off the confusion and continued. "Errm, he doesn't like it if you touch his hair?"
Wes sniggered. Blaine shot him a glare. He stopped.
"He plays piano awesomely, but he doesn't play it for anyone."
"Apart from you!" Trent and Thad bumped fists, and Blaine raised an eyebrow. Nick giggled. Blaine forgot how much they laughed about his eyebrows. I mean, seriously? Who cares if they're triangular? He thought they were pretty awesome, but he seemed alone in that protest.
"No, he hasn't played it for me."
"How do you know then?"
"He does everything awesomely." Blaine blushed when he realised what he'd just said. He continued hastily, "and Finn told me."
"Who's Fin-" Blaine waved Nick off.
"His step-brother."
Jeff's face held a look of intense concentration. "Wait, he's the one who you always look pissed about when you describe him, right?"
"Yeah, that's the one," Wes answered. "Onwards!"
Blaine tried unsuccessfully to follow the exchange. Why do I sound pissed when I describe Finn? I describe Finn?
"He's a countertenor. An-"
Wes' eyes lit up, and he choked on his words. "A countertenor? We haven't had a countertenor since 1967! David! This is so amazing!"
David nodded, hugging the excited boy, calming him with soothing strokes on his back. He gestured for Blaine to continue.
Sometimes, Blaine seriously questioned their sexuality and the nature of the 'Wevid' bromance.
"Oh, he's totally addicted to coffee, and it is literally impossible to get him out of bed in the morning without it. And he does this super adorable scrunchy thing with his nose when he's tired."
The whole room was silent as they processed what Blaine was saying. Blaine steamed on, now on a roll and completely unaware of what was coming out of his mouth.
"He has these tiny little freckles on his nose (have I mentioned how awesome his nose is) which I don't think he's noticed, cause he'd get really annoyed about it. And his eyes are this turquoisey greeny bluey colour that I think is called glasz and they're so beautiful and expressive." Blaine paused, and looked at the triumphant stares around him.
"Understand yet?" Wes had clearly gotten over his excitement for the time being.
"Oh my God. I'm in love with Kurt." Blaine sat down quickly. On the coffee table. It collapsed. He leapt up again and frantically put it back together again with shaky hands.
Nick, Jeff, Thad, Trent and Wes handed David a stack of dollars, groaning.
"Do I even want to know?" Blaine queried. "What do I do?" He began to pace up and down, up and down, for once not caring whether he was keeping his cool.
"Hey Blaine!"
The high voice came from the doorway, and he spun around.
"Kurt, thank God! I'm in love with you!" Blaine clapped a hand over his mouth. David shoved him forwards.
Kurt looked completely shell shocked.
"I did not jus-mph!" Blaine felt Kurt's mouth pressed against his own. Oh.
"Really? Cause I love you." Kurt's eyes were shining with tears. Blaine rubbed them away with his fingers and then started kissing him again. Because, seriously, it felt amazing.
"I only just realised, I'm sorry for springing it on you like that." Kurt kissed him again, more deeply, and all thoughts of hypocrisy (Jeff and Nick would moan at him later) flew from his mind.
"Kurt...where do you want Finn to put your bags...hey! Get off my son!"
They sprung apart.
"Hey Dad."
Before he withered under Burt's glare, Blaine remembered that he could still get out of this alive.
After all, he did have a left over red vine in his pocket. And what the hell can't they do?
A/N Ending is horrible, I know, but starkid references just sneak in and I honestly can't stop them. It's a curse. Thanks for reading the unoriginal randomness my mind comes up with, reviews are VERY VERY welcome *hint* xxx