A Fred and George Crackfic

A Crackfic Collaboration

By LilyLouGryffindor & TheDarkLadyOfSlytherin

Author's Note: I am not a weirdo. Please trust me on this. This is a story that my friend and I came up with. I will be writing chapters from George's POV, and my friend, TheDarkLadyOfSlytherin, will be writing from Fred's POV. Anyone under the age of forty-six should be advised that this fanfic is more than slightly disturbing if you really love Fred and George. There will be an array of different characters featured throughout this fanfic, so don't be surprised if one of your favourite characters becomes scarred for life.

Warning: This fanfic contains mature themes. Some of these include:

-Incest.

-Light smut that will grow throughout the fic!

-And….um….other stuff.

What am I doing with my life.

Chapter One: Ron.

George's POV

That evening at the Burrow, it was... it was magical. Fred and I were only sixteen, but we were ready. We were ready to take our affection to the upper-most level. And so we did.

The setting sun spilled over my milky white skin. I turned my perfectly identical face towards Fred's. There was a small bead of sweat rolling down his forehead and onto his lustful lips. My breathing got harder. I took a deep breath and licked my adoring lips. Fred swiftly looked at me, raised a curious eyebrow and bit his lip seductively.

He followed this by speaking in a low tone of voice, saying, "George... should we... you know..." I reached out to his face and slowly stroked his marvellous cheek bone, "Shh... oh Fred, let's go upstairs." Fred grabbed my shoulder vigorously and replied with, "... I don't think I can wait that long." His eyebrows knitted together in a worrying manner. "Then we had better run, shouldn't we?" I quickly lowered my hand to his and took hold of it, but before I knew it, Fred was already pulling into the house and up the stairs. I nearly didn't hear my mother yell out something like, "Boys! Be careful! You'll be the death of me!"

But what I heard in its place was, "Boys! Use protection, you cheeky little buggers." I simply giggled a little and continued to follow Fred up the old, windy staircase. We stopped outside of our bedroom breathing hard. "Huh, man, I'm already tired. I don't know how I'm going to keep up with you Fred. You're just so fit," I said.

"Don't you worry your pretty little face, George," he replied, placing a finger on my chest and running it down, down, and...down.

"Fred!" I chirped. "We should go inside first. And, did you just practically say that you were pretty too?" I said audaciously. I bit my finger nail seductively whilst I waited for his response. He just licked his lips and stared at me intently. "...get inside, I can't keep my hands off you any longer." He grabbed my arm forcibly and pushed me through the door, smashing the slab of wood off its hinges. I landed on the bed giggling and snorting. I propped myself up onto my elbows and gave him a signal with my finger to come closer. Fred violently ripped his shirt off. I daintily slid my pants off. Suddenly I had his undeniable force on top of me.

"Oh, Fred!" I shrieked.

"Oh, George!" Fred yelled out in ecstasy.

Fred's sweaty body was pressed up against mine. We were in full doggy style. Yes! That was all that occupied my thoughts, the feeling of his beautiful body on mine. But suddenly a blood curdling scream disrupted the heaven I was enjoying. Fred and I stopped. My heart was beating at an uncontrollable rate. I thought that it may have been Ginny that walked in, but I was soon proved wrong. Panting, Fred and I slowly turned around to find a traumatised Ron Weasley standing in the door frame holding a half eaten chocolate bar. His face was quivering and twitching. I looked at Fred and widened my eyes. He lowered his head slightly and bit his lip. I took this a sign of welcome. My eyes darted over Ron's body. He was old enough, I thought.

"Ronald, why don't you come and join us... there's plenty of us to go around." I smiled mischievously and Fred patted the remaining bed around us. Ron only quivered and twitched more before he let out yet another blood curdling scream. He ran from the room and down the stairs. Fred ran after him and I ran to the window. Soon after, I saw Ron running from the house, screaming and falling over every now and then. But, quick on his heels was Fred, and his athletic body. Oh, how it just ran so fast and swiftly. It made me weak in the knees. The beautiful screams that Ron exerted made this day even more symbolic to me because, I knew, I just knew that I would hear that scream again, and it would remind me of this erotic day.

I watched Fred chase Ron off into the sunset and sighed. I love Fred, I thought.