Imagine there was something you really wanted.
Not something petty, like a new boat or a new girlfriend, but something major.
Something so significant that it would change your life forever.
And imagine that you wanted that thing the way a child wants, without perspective, without restraint, a whole-hearted longing that consumed your entire being with the certainty that life would not, could not continue without it.
Imagine that, like a child, you had no control over getting your heart's desire.
You couldn't do anything other than lie awake at night and wish, furiously, desperately, hopelessly – because, not actually being a child, you would know that wishing was useless.
You would know that there are no magic wishes, no fairy godmothers descending with a wink and a wand.
Still, useless or not, you would dutifully squeeze your eyes shut every night, curl your hands into fists, listen to your heart thud, and, like a child, let yourself believe that someone was listening when you whispered: I wish.
-Robin Wasserman
There it was. The knot in his stomach that appeared whenever she flashed that rare, rare smile at him. The knot that got more frequent by the days.
And the ache. That sweet, sweet, ache in his heart that made him sigh every now and then. Because no matter how hard he prayed, he thought she'd never love him.
Come to think of it, why would she, actually? She was an extremely attractive and successful lady who could have any man she wanted. And wasn't love about letting the other person be free to love whoever she wanted to?
Why did he still constantly barge in on her dates?
Because, subconsciously, before he even knew it, he had already started building his life around her. It was that dream that woke him up to that.
You know the one he had when people poked sharp thingies into his brain to remove the mother of all tumours? Yes, that's the one.
Building his life around her was one thing. Depending on her was another.
Come one, she had to be with him so he could shoot well. But the extent of the presence of her extended far beyond his aiming.
She made him nervous by just undoing his tie.
She made him delirious with happiness when she agreed to be present during his evaluation and when she patted his hand.
She made him panic every time she faced imminent danger.
She could make him kill if she wanted. Heck, he would have happily given up pie if she told him to.
After all, as much as he'd like it, they couldn't be together. It wouldn't work. And this is all he had to settle for. A stolen grin, a brush of hands, heated debates during everyday conversation. The tiny, simple workings of their everyday lives
But the man never simply stopped to consider for a moment that she might actually love him back.
He doesn't know how much it hurts her to do that.
As usual, pleasepleaseplease R&R!
P.S. Gordon-Gordon FTW!
P.P.S. Vest On Booth FWMH!