Then he says, "I saw Peeta yesterday."

"What'd you think?" I ask.

"Something selfish," says Gale.

-Mockingjay, Chapter 14

I rub the back of my neck as I walk around my compartment. My schedule says that right now is time for Reflection, but I feel too full of energy right now to sit down and reflect. I just found out that I've been selected with a few others to go with Beetee and help out with the fighting in District Two. I feel that excited and nervous all at the same time. It's so quiet here, though, and I just need to get out. But where?

My first choice would be to go and visit Katniss, but she's been in Two for the last couple of weeks. Finnick Odair is too wrapped up in his lovey dovey world now that Annie Cresta is back, and Beetee is down in Weapons working endlessly on tactics. Probably shouldn't bother him. Johanna Mason…not a chance.

It's then that I think about Peeta. I let out a breath. It's been about three weeks since we went in and rescued him. Since…the incident. I try not to let my anger get the best of me. Of course I am furious at what he did, but I also know that what everyone has been telling me is true. Something must have been done to his mind in the Capitol because the Peeta that I know would have never in his right mind hurt Katniss.

Also, the guy practically has no one right now. His family is dead. Been through torture or worse, and now stuck in a hospital out of his mind. He probably needs a friend like nothing else right now.

Not that we are friends. Because we aren't. The fact that he is a merchant kid and wants the same thing I want naturally puts us against each other. The guy is great a lying, but I'm not exactly sure if everything he said in his interview about calling for ceasefire was actually untrue. If that is what he wants, then I can't agree whatsoever. We need to do everything we can to bring down the Capitol. We're too far into now for this to stop. Even he has to see that by now.

But, even with everything dividing Peeta and I, I found out something while I was training him with Katniss and Haymitch. I couldn't hate him. Trust me, I tried. But I ended up seeing what I think Katniss did. I was brutal in barking out orders to them in training and through it all Peeta worked harder than any of them, all with a smile on his face still at the end. He only had compliments and gratitude to share with me when it was all over. The guy was just so…good. I liked him in spite of myself.

So, I make up my mind. I head down to the hospital and am met by one of the doctors. At least it must be because there is a white jacket over their grey uniform.

"Would it be okay for me to see Peeta Mellark?" I ask.

"Are you a friend of his?" The man taps his pencil on the clipboard in his hands.

"Not exactly, but I was a part of the rescue team that got him out. I just wanted to check on him."

The doctor looks at me, then reads over some charts. He huffs before deciding. "All right, then. It looks like the patient has been doing better this week during his visits with Miss Cartwright. He's still strapped down, too, so he shouldn't be a danger to you."

He points down the hallway. "You can head down that way. Third door on the right."

I follow his directions and take a deep breath before opening the metal door. I enter and see the frame sitting on the bed. It's Peeta for sure, still not at the strongest as he was before the Quell, but at least he seems to have put on a little weight since we got him out. The deep circles seem less, too. Must be finally getting some sleep. But what I also notice are his eyes. They are still blue, but so much darker than I remember, almost black. I can see the darkness hidden behind them. So, no matter how he may have improved up to this point, he still isn't himself.

I can see the shock in his face as he takes me in. He definitely wasn't expecting me. But at least he seems to be remaining calm. My presence doesn't seem to be setting him off..,at least not for now.

"Hey," I call out as I tentatively walk closer to the bed.

"Gale," Peeta replies. "What are doing here?"

"I came by to see how you were doing." I say.

He looks me over warily before answering. "I've been better."

I scoff. "I can imagine. But you seem better than when I saw you that night."

"I guess I should thank you, you know. For rescuing me." he says.

"You would have done the same in my place, I bet." I offer. "How are you doing in here?"

"They treat me pretty well here. They're nice, even if they are a bunch of strangers. At least Delly is familiar." he shrugs

"You must miss home." I say.

"Yeah." i can hear the sadness in his voice. "I heard you were the big hero."

"It wasn't enough, trust me." i tell him. "There were too many lost."

"Did you…" he stutters a little. "My family?"

I sigh. "I never saw them that night. I'm sorry."

He nods. "At least we're all safe here from the Capitol, right? Although, I have to admit in some ways it feels like I've exchanged one prison for another. Just a different type."

He's talking about being restrained. "Look, they just have to make sure you're okay before they can let you free. Just keep working on getting better and I'm sure you'll be out with everyone else." I have no idea if what I'm saying is the truth, but at least he should have some hope.

"I am glad we got you out of there, though." I tell him. "I can guarantee it was probably a million times worse.

"Yeah," he scoffs. "Although I know you didn't do it for me. You did it for her."

"I did," I reply. "Because Katniss was lost without you."

"Right. She hasn't even come to see me…at least not after." he says angrily.

I run my hands through my hair. "Do you blame her, though? You tried to kill her. Anyone would be a little wary of coming around someone who tried to do them in."

"So where do they have her tucked away here?" he asks.

"Not that I would tell you, but she's not even here." I reveal. "She's in Two with the rebel forces. Trying to sway them as the last obstacle to getting into the Capitol." I stop and Peeta gives a nod.

"But if you ask me, I think she was trying to get away." From having to see you.

"I understand. And when are you going to be joining her?" he asks.

"I'm heading out to Two in the morning." I state.

"Figures." Peeta says. "Heading out to Two so you and Katniss can continue to be lovers behind my back."

"But we haven't…" I try to argue.

"I saw it in pictures, video even while I was in the Capitol." he yells. "Clear and in color with you and her all over each other, barely clothed.

My mind screams in anger at the Capitol at the lengths they have gone to warp Peeta's mind. He didn't deserve this, no matter that I want Katniss or not.

"I'll tell you this," I shout at him. "You can believe it or not but all Katniss and I have never been intimate."

"You love her, though." he states.

"Yes," I answer, "but that doesn't automatically mean we have done anything. We've kissed. Nothing more. Because Katniss hasn't wanted that with me."

Peeta stops at this. He looks like he is fighting within himself, or whatever is in his mind. I urge him with my eyes to remember the truth. The silence is so awkward, but finally he speaks.

"I'm sorry." I watch as he puts his face in his hands. "But how can I believe that?" he sounds almost pained trying to figure out what's real.

"You'll just have to trust me." I tell him.

"I don't know if I have it in me to trust anyone. Including myself." His shoulder sag in defeat and he falls back against the pillows.

Well, I know now for sure that Katniss is right. This isn't Peeta. Not the one I knew, at least. I sigh and realize it's probably best if I get going now if I'm going to get some sleep before we head out.

"I've gotta go." I tell him.

"Good luck in Two." he says almost indifferently and is already looking away.

I nod and head toward the door. After what I had seen and just heard, I know that by going into Two that Katniss is running away from the inevitable. No matter what she is going to face Peeta eventually, whether he gets better or not. She will because she can't help herself. She will never let go of the guilt she feels for what has happened to him if he doesn't get better.

And if she doesn't let him go I don't ever stand a chance.

As I grab the handle, I turn one last time. "Get well soon, Peeta."

And I mean it.