Chapter 1: Running and Denying

She did not love Kid Flash.

Jinx told herself that every time she thought about him, which happened more often than she'd like to admit. It had been 6 months since she left the Hive Five, and she was alone living off the streets and using crime as her income.

She had moved in with Kid Flash almost immediately after leaving the Hive, it seemed like her best option, free food and a place to sleep, and of course it would stop him from constantly bugging her about living off the streets.

It went well at first, Jinx could honestly say it was the first time she was truly happy. After awhile of living with him they were completely comfortable with each other, they both shared his bed in his small yet cozy apartment. Though she would never admit it she liked the warmth he radiated and his dumb pick up lines he said on a daily basis. She gave the hero thing a try but it fell through. She had tried for him, she really did but she couldn't overcome being a villain, she had done it her whole life and it had only come natural to her.

Jinx could still remember the disappointed face he gave her whenever he caught her in the act. Those eyes just killed her. So many emotions, it made her cringe, sadness, betrayal, hurt, and the worst one of them all was hope. The fact he still had hope for her after all she did to him just destroyed her. She would've given anything for him to just stop looking at her like that, to this day she remembers how his eyes bore into her.

She did not love him.

Jinx thought that over and over again as she leaned against the side of a building, she had been on the streets for about a month now. She just couldn't take hurting Kid anymore, he was conflicted and she knew.

Harboring a villain came with serious consequences if anyone found out and as much as he loved Jinx he was torn between doing what was right and keeping Jinx. It was tearing him apart and she could tell by how distracted he seemed when they were together and how every now and then he'd stop being his cheery, goofy self and adopt a conflicted look. Jinx couldn't take it anymore so she decided for him. One night she snuck out of their shared bed and jumped out the window. Before she left though she wrote him a note.

It read: Don't look for me. -Jinx

Knowing that idiot he would've looked everywhere for her if she was missing but this note basically told him that she knew and she was deciding for him. She always told herself that she left because she was sick of dealing with him and she wasn't a charity case but deep down she knew it was to save him from the pain she would cause him. Jinx hurt everyone eventually, it was best to just be alone. She was not the damsel in distress and she never would be so there was no need for her to have a hero in her life.

These events ran through her mind everyday as she stole for food and spent her free time getting into fights with bar flies. Anyone who took one look at her could tell she was living on the streets her hair was down and had a ruffled look about it and her clothes were torn mostly from climbing fire escapes or close calls in her nightly fights.

"I really should think about getting a job or going for bigger loot, one of the two" Jinx said looking down at a wallet she had just taken which had only two dollars in it. "I guess it's enough for some lunch." With that she began walking toward her favorite café. A gloomy looking place on the bad side of town, but it had character which drew in new customers all the time.

She sat in a corner picking at a sandwich she ordered when she heard a familiar voice across the café. "It can't be him" she thought as she looked over to where the voice was coming from, and sure enough there was Wally and he actually looked happy as he was chatting with a girl who seemed familiar as well, she was Asian and Jinx vaguely remembered her on the news. "She must be a reporter, what was her name again? Linda something as I recall. It must be an interview." Jinx thought and breathed out a breath she didn't know she was holding in. Upon closer inspection of the couple though, she saw they were holding hands and then Kid leaned in and kissed her. Suddenly the room seemed to run out of air for Jinx. She stood, threw away what was left of her sandwich and made her way out of the café as quickly as possible. Once outside she ran, she had no idea where she was running to but she had to get as far away from that place and him as possible.

She stopped once she reached the familiar dead end alley way she stayed in, she went to the far back corner and just curled up and silently cried until she felt she could finally breath again and by that time it had gotten dark. "I'm not crying over him I'm just tired is all. I don't love Wally, I don't. I left him for my own personal gain, there's nothing holding me back now, I can steal whatever I can get away with. It's great that he's happy with her, I don't need him. I just gotta get out of Jump City, I need a new start that's what I'll do I'll leave first thing in the morning." Jinx said to herself as she curled up to herself and attempted to get some sleep. The last thought she had before she drifted off was what troubled her the most. "If I don't love him then why do I hurt so much?"