A/N: I hate Tracy. I hate Kool-Aid. And I hate the Stephanie/Jericho pairing. Yet in this story... I will be like Tracy.... I will praise the 'glorious' Kool-aid *snort* and I will write a Steph/Jericho pairing. I am so sad. *sigh* But maybe now, Tracy's 'people' will stop following me around. *sighs again* This really did turn into a good story. I wanna thank Timmah for givin' me the idea of falling on somebody *starts to sing KoRn to herself* I made the refrence to me being Ravens stalker (cuz I am and stuff) and Hurricane is in the story. Cuz he's cool and all. Also that 'special' Russian vodka that RVD drinks is real. My daddy got a bottle. I would like to say something now. "They tell me that I should write about what I know best, and I know my drunks." This is for you.... Thats about it. I own nothing. I truly doubt Jericho would ever EVEEER get that drunk.... but the Essa Rios thing might be true.... that's all! Respond please and I give you a glass of milk!
StOnE CoLd SaRaH has drunk some Steph/Jericho Kool-aid.
If ya want this story... ask and I'll let you have it....
Peace!
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Stephanie looks around her empty room. ~Where'd Rhyno and RVD go? Maybe they went to Ravens room to party. Hopefully not with that damn girl, Stone Cold Sarah, that follows Raven around. It's Friday night and I want to party!~ She thought miserably. ~Maybe I'll go look for the Hardyz and Lita. Cuz Lita is my friend because we both think Trish is a slutty ho. And also we both have secret crushes on Chris Jericho.~ So with that settled in her mind, she walks to Lita's room. "Hey Lita! Let's go look for some guys!"
"Sure Stephanie, but let's make sure we don't find Big Show and Billy Gunn drunk again." They both stop and shudder at that memory. They go off skipping hand in hand. But, it's not scary like when Torrie Wilson and Stacy Kiebler used to do it. Stephanie and Lita went down to the hotel bar. And their they both ordered extra Virgin Mary's. They didn't notice the tall, blond Canadian in the sparkly shirt creep up behind them.
"Why would Stephanie, the world's best slut, be drinking a Virgin Mary?? She hasn't been a virgin in 32 years!"
"Wait just a minute Chris! I'm only 25!"
"Exactly, think about it, you'll get it."
By this time Lita and Stephanie were way too belligerent to defend Stephanie's honor. And a drunken Lita started laughing. "What the hell!" Stephanie exclaimed, "You're supposed to be my friend since Rhyno my man beast isn't here to give me lovin'!" Lita and Chris both looked shocked. "Ummm..." Chris finally could not think of anything to say. "Oh I guess I shouldn't have said that huh? Well, I can do what ever I want because soon I will be Mrs. Rob Van Dam." She says as she does the thumb thing. "Last night as he was drinking some of his specially made Russian vodka...he said so! Oh shit. I bet I wasn't supposed to say THAT either! Crap!" Stephanie by this time was slumped in her chair in a drunken stupor.
"To borrow a phrase from E-n-C..... Dude....!" Jericho was finally able to say, "Bar keep? Could I have a margarita on the rocks please? I need it for my nerves."
Soon Jericho's one drink turned into many. Hurricane Helms saw his good friend, 'Citizen Lita' tripping over her feet and came to her aid. Actually he picked her up and flew away! Whoosh! Jericho by now was a little tipsy himself. He was trying to find his car keys in his front pocket when Stephanie yelled (right into his poor ear) "You can't drive, you're pissed drunk! I'll drive!" She said proudly because she was 'taking care of the situation'. "Hells no, slut of a woman! You're drinker then me is!"
"Are not"
"Are too"
"Are not"
"Are too"
"I bet you I could arm wrestle you and win! That would prove I'm not as think you drunk I am." Chris said his eye lids dropping.
"You...you... you Canadian swamp rat!" Stephanie spat out. "Where in the blue hell did you get that one from??"
"All you Canadians are the same! I've been watching yous. You and Benoit have the same sort of asses. Edge, Christian, and yourself have better hair then I will ever, EVEEER have." Stephanie said looking into Chris Jericho's deep blue eyes and seeing, that spark that she saw all those times during the Pay-Per-Views. ~No!~She thought to herself. ~You have no feelings for him. And even if for some odd reason you did.... you have a man beast and the whole f'n show waiting for you in your hotel room. And they'd do anything to make you happy. RVD even said so, with that look. A Jericho look.... I mean.... Mischievous look... Yeah... And Rhyno is my man beast. He's proven that night after night after night after night and some times in the afternoon. I don't need anyone else. A four-some would just be icky. But Jericho's hair is so pretty! look at all the shininess! It's blinking at me!~
"Ahhh!" Stephanie screamed out loud. Jericho looked over at her. He grinned widely, "So the mighty Jericho scares you, princess?" She just looked at him blankly. He got his 'game' face on. "All right, come on, let's start this." Jericho grabbed Stephanie's hand and she instantly started blushing. Jericho made a mental note of that for later.
Stephanie lost... of course and because both Jericho and herself were too drunk to remember why they were arm wrestling in the first place..... Jericho took Stephanie by the hand and showed her the night life of Canada. After a couple hours and a wrong turn into a gay bar... they ended up in a really fancy restaurant, that kind of looked like a Canadian version of Seattle's needle. By now they were both sobering up. Well, Jericho was. Stephanie on the other hand had fallen asleep and was now slumped over Jericho. Not like he minded or anything. Cuz he didn't. He knew the words he said hurt her. But his mouth and ego controlled his actions, not his heart. So he usually felt pretty bad after he called her stuff. Well, until her 'protector' of the moth came after him. Then he'd get mad again and his mouth started again. One big freakin' ugly circle. ~It's way too hot in here. And the fact that I have a McMahn on top of me, does nothing to levity this problem.~ He thought to himself. He paid for his coffee and the crayons and applesauce she had ordered. Someone was spending a little too much time with Perry Saturn. He laughed to himself. The coffee had kind of made some of the drunkenness go away, but he knew he'd have a killer headache come tomorrow morning. Actually, it was kind of all ready tomorrow, he smiled. Then being the gentleman he SO totally is, damn EnC and their vocabulary, he picked Stephanie up in one sweeping motion and he carried her drunken ass on his back. Ow. He walked to the outside of the tall building. "Stephanie wake up. Steph?" he said softly, and then he thought better of it and commanded "Wake up you trash hoe!" That got her up. "You have pretty shinys. You're hair smells nice. I like nice smells. Rhyno smells pretty too. Like pretty shiny apples and gasoline."
"I learn more and more of stuff I really don't want to know each time you speak, Steph. Be quiet for a moment and watch the sunrise with me, huh?" Stephanie, realizing that Jericho was still holding herself up, rubbed her eyes and pretended to fall. Just like she planned, he had caught her in his strong arms. ~I should get drunk more often~ She thought, smiling to herself.
The sunrise was a beautiful one. Red, yellow, orange colors all melting into one. And then the sun slowly made its assent into the beautiful Canadian sky. Soon the cold early morning winds picked up and so Jericho and Steph hugged tighter. To get warmer of course. They walked a little bit closer to the railing and looked as the little house's in the valley below, started their busy day. The chimneys started pumping smoke into the air and soon you could hear kids complaining about going to school. While Jericho and Stephanie were in bliss just standing there being close to each other, neither one had heard Rhyno behind them. He had on one of Hurricane Helms capes.
Apparently when Hurricane help brought Lita.... excuse me.... 'Citizen' Lita.... back to her hotel room he saw 'Citizen Man-Beast' and he told Rhyno about the two drunks in the bar. Rhyno got really mad and started snorting. He gored Hurricane, then looked at his cape. He sniffed it a little then he took it off of Helm's neck and put it on himself. Somehow, though the magic of the cape.... Rhyno found the two of them arm in arm and that got him even more pissed. He got into his stance and the patrons of the restaurant where in the windows screaming 'Gore! Gore! Gore!' Since he was never one to say no to his public... He gored Chris Jericho from behind. Jericho feel backwards, but before he fell, he grabbed on to Stephanie's hair, "Ow! Ow! Ow!" She screamed then she screamed even louder because her extensions came out in Chris's hand. He then grabbed onto the other big things. Steph's implants. He held on for dear life and they started to stretch like Silly Putty in his hands. "Oh crap!" He screamed. Cuz ya know what happens to Silly Putty when you stretch it out to much. Yep. Snap! The implants snapped back to Stephanie's nonexistence chest and she fell backwards on top of Rhyno. "You! Are in SO MUCH TROUBLE! YOU ARE SO DEAD!" she yelled at Rhyno as she jumped out of his hands to go look down to the edge where Jericho had fallen. Rhyno just had a really, really confused look on his face. "What the hell...." Stephanie started. Jericho had landed on somebody. And that somebody had red hair! "DAMN IT ESSA RIOS! I TOLD YOU TO STOP FOLLOWING ME AROUND!" she yelled from the balcony. Then she ran to where Chris was. He was all right, but looked a little dazed. Essa Rios on the other hand started cursing in Spanish and then directed his little speech to Stephanie, "Yo soy calor de latino, bebe!" He yelled as Rhyno was walking him over to the local hospital. "What?" She said not speaking a word of Spanish, yet living in the 'mean streets' of Connecticut most of her life. "He said, 'I am the real Latino heat, baby'" Jericho said translating. 'Ew!' she scrunched up her nose, 'Are you all right?' he nodded.
"I need a nap" She said holding her head.
"El siesta, si. I lost my hotel room card, can I borrow yours?" Jericho asked grinning evilly.
"Sorry to burst your big, bloated bubble... but so totally not today." And they left the scene hand-in-hand.
All was well until RVD found out what happened and went insane. But that's another story children for another day.... *days of our lives music plays* As the Jericho/Stephanie Kool-aid book turns.......
StOnE CoLd SaRaH has drunk some Steph/Jericho Kool-aid.
If ya want this story... ask and I'll let you have it....
Peace!
^~~^^~~^^~~^^~~^^~~^^~~^^~~^^~~^^~~^^~~^^~~^^~~^^~~^^~~^^~~^^~~^^~~^
Stephanie looks around her empty room. ~Where'd Rhyno and RVD go? Maybe they went to Ravens room to party. Hopefully not with that damn girl, Stone Cold Sarah, that follows Raven around. It's Friday night and I want to party!~ She thought miserably. ~Maybe I'll go look for the Hardyz and Lita. Cuz Lita is my friend because we both think Trish is a slutty ho. And also we both have secret crushes on Chris Jericho.~ So with that settled in her mind, she walks to Lita's room. "Hey Lita! Let's go look for some guys!"
"Sure Stephanie, but let's make sure we don't find Big Show and Billy Gunn drunk again." They both stop and shudder at that memory. They go off skipping hand in hand. But, it's not scary like when Torrie Wilson and Stacy Kiebler used to do it. Stephanie and Lita went down to the hotel bar. And their they both ordered extra Virgin Mary's. They didn't notice the tall, blond Canadian in the sparkly shirt creep up behind them.
"Why would Stephanie, the world's best slut, be drinking a Virgin Mary?? She hasn't been a virgin in 32 years!"
"Wait just a minute Chris! I'm only 25!"
"Exactly, think about it, you'll get it."
By this time Lita and Stephanie were way too belligerent to defend Stephanie's honor. And a drunken Lita started laughing. "What the hell!" Stephanie exclaimed, "You're supposed to be my friend since Rhyno my man beast isn't here to give me lovin'!" Lita and Chris both looked shocked. "Ummm..." Chris finally could not think of anything to say. "Oh I guess I shouldn't have said that huh? Well, I can do what ever I want because soon I will be Mrs. Rob Van Dam." She says as she does the thumb thing. "Last night as he was drinking some of his specially made Russian vodka...he said so! Oh shit. I bet I wasn't supposed to say THAT either! Crap!" Stephanie by this time was slumped in her chair in a drunken stupor.
"To borrow a phrase from E-n-C..... Dude....!" Jericho was finally able to say, "Bar keep? Could I have a margarita on the rocks please? I need it for my nerves."
Soon Jericho's one drink turned into many. Hurricane Helms saw his good friend, 'Citizen Lita' tripping over her feet and came to her aid. Actually he picked her up and flew away! Whoosh! Jericho by now was a little tipsy himself. He was trying to find his car keys in his front pocket when Stephanie yelled (right into his poor ear) "You can't drive, you're pissed drunk! I'll drive!" She said proudly because she was 'taking care of the situation'. "Hells no, slut of a woman! You're drinker then me is!"
"Are not"
"Are too"
"Are not"
"Are too"
"I bet you I could arm wrestle you and win! That would prove I'm not as think you drunk I am." Chris said his eye lids dropping.
"You...you... you Canadian swamp rat!" Stephanie spat out. "Where in the blue hell did you get that one from??"
"All you Canadians are the same! I've been watching yous. You and Benoit have the same sort of asses. Edge, Christian, and yourself have better hair then I will ever, EVEEER have." Stephanie said looking into Chris Jericho's deep blue eyes and seeing, that spark that she saw all those times during the Pay-Per-Views. ~No!~She thought to herself. ~You have no feelings for him. And even if for some odd reason you did.... you have a man beast and the whole f'n show waiting for you in your hotel room. And they'd do anything to make you happy. RVD even said so, with that look. A Jericho look.... I mean.... Mischievous look... Yeah... And Rhyno is my man beast. He's proven that night after night after night after night and some times in the afternoon. I don't need anyone else. A four-some would just be icky. But Jericho's hair is so pretty! look at all the shininess! It's blinking at me!~
"Ahhh!" Stephanie screamed out loud. Jericho looked over at her. He grinned widely, "So the mighty Jericho scares you, princess?" She just looked at him blankly. He got his 'game' face on. "All right, come on, let's start this." Jericho grabbed Stephanie's hand and she instantly started blushing. Jericho made a mental note of that for later.
Stephanie lost... of course and because both Jericho and herself were too drunk to remember why they were arm wrestling in the first place..... Jericho took Stephanie by the hand and showed her the night life of Canada. After a couple hours and a wrong turn into a gay bar... they ended up in a really fancy restaurant, that kind of looked like a Canadian version of Seattle's needle. By now they were both sobering up. Well, Jericho was. Stephanie on the other hand had fallen asleep and was now slumped over Jericho. Not like he minded or anything. Cuz he didn't. He knew the words he said hurt her. But his mouth and ego controlled his actions, not his heart. So he usually felt pretty bad after he called her stuff. Well, until her 'protector' of the moth came after him. Then he'd get mad again and his mouth started again. One big freakin' ugly circle. ~It's way too hot in here. And the fact that I have a McMahn on top of me, does nothing to levity this problem.~ He thought to himself. He paid for his coffee and the crayons and applesauce she had ordered. Someone was spending a little too much time with Perry Saturn. He laughed to himself. The coffee had kind of made some of the drunkenness go away, but he knew he'd have a killer headache come tomorrow morning. Actually, it was kind of all ready tomorrow, he smiled. Then being the gentleman he SO totally is, damn EnC and their vocabulary, he picked Stephanie up in one sweeping motion and he carried her drunken ass on his back. Ow. He walked to the outside of the tall building. "Stephanie wake up. Steph?" he said softly, and then he thought better of it and commanded "Wake up you trash hoe!" That got her up. "You have pretty shinys. You're hair smells nice. I like nice smells. Rhyno smells pretty too. Like pretty shiny apples and gasoline."
"I learn more and more of stuff I really don't want to know each time you speak, Steph. Be quiet for a moment and watch the sunrise with me, huh?" Stephanie, realizing that Jericho was still holding herself up, rubbed her eyes and pretended to fall. Just like she planned, he had caught her in his strong arms. ~I should get drunk more often~ She thought, smiling to herself.
The sunrise was a beautiful one. Red, yellow, orange colors all melting into one. And then the sun slowly made its assent into the beautiful Canadian sky. Soon the cold early morning winds picked up and so Jericho and Steph hugged tighter. To get warmer of course. They walked a little bit closer to the railing and looked as the little house's in the valley below, started their busy day. The chimneys started pumping smoke into the air and soon you could hear kids complaining about going to school. While Jericho and Stephanie were in bliss just standing there being close to each other, neither one had heard Rhyno behind them. He had on one of Hurricane Helms capes.
Apparently when Hurricane help brought Lita.... excuse me.... 'Citizen' Lita.... back to her hotel room he saw 'Citizen Man-Beast' and he told Rhyno about the two drunks in the bar. Rhyno got really mad and started snorting. He gored Hurricane, then looked at his cape. He sniffed it a little then he took it off of Helm's neck and put it on himself. Somehow, though the magic of the cape.... Rhyno found the two of them arm in arm and that got him even more pissed. He got into his stance and the patrons of the restaurant where in the windows screaming 'Gore! Gore! Gore!' Since he was never one to say no to his public... He gored Chris Jericho from behind. Jericho feel backwards, but before he fell, he grabbed on to Stephanie's hair, "Ow! Ow! Ow!" She screamed then she screamed even louder because her extensions came out in Chris's hand. He then grabbed onto the other big things. Steph's implants. He held on for dear life and they started to stretch like Silly Putty in his hands. "Oh crap!" He screamed. Cuz ya know what happens to Silly Putty when you stretch it out to much. Yep. Snap! The implants snapped back to Stephanie's nonexistence chest and she fell backwards on top of Rhyno. "You! Are in SO MUCH TROUBLE! YOU ARE SO DEAD!" she yelled at Rhyno as she jumped out of his hands to go look down to the edge where Jericho had fallen. Rhyno just had a really, really confused look on his face. "What the hell...." Stephanie started. Jericho had landed on somebody. And that somebody had red hair! "DAMN IT ESSA RIOS! I TOLD YOU TO STOP FOLLOWING ME AROUND!" she yelled from the balcony. Then she ran to where Chris was. He was all right, but looked a little dazed. Essa Rios on the other hand started cursing in Spanish and then directed his little speech to Stephanie, "Yo soy calor de latino, bebe!" He yelled as Rhyno was walking him over to the local hospital. "What?" She said not speaking a word of Spanish, yet living in the 'mean streets' of Connecticut most of her life. "He said, 'I am the real Latino heat, baby'" Jericho said translating. 'Ew!' she scrunched up her nose, 'Are you all right?' he nodded.
"I need a nap" She said holding her head.
"El siesta, si. I lost my hotel room card, can I borrow yours?" Jericho asked grinning evilly.
"Sorry to burst your big, bloated bubble... but so totally not today." And they left the scene hand-in-hand.
All was well until RVD found out what happened and went insane. But that's another story children for another day.... *days of our lives music plays* As the Jericho/Stephanie Kool-aid book turns.......