Title: Now
Spoilers: Fractures/The Choice
Rating: R for one bad word
Notes: None, first Far-fic tho'
Summary: John reminisces on his name change
Disclaimer: Does not belong to me, not making any money, couldn't even if I tried.
Y'know, I waited so long for you to call me John. I think I waited all my life for it. Instead of Crichton or 'Stupid Human' I was waiting for that one day, that one moment, where you dropped your guard, were you let me, my name, close, and call me John. I was always Crichton, more of a designation than anything else. That's what I was, Crichton, and the guy who was there when you had a nightmare and you need some one to stare at the stars with. I was Crichton when you needed someone to hold you up so you could reach an amnexus conduit. I was Crichton when you were scared to die alone and you wanted some one to talk to until the air ran out. I was Crichton when I fucked up and something exploded or leaked or broke in two. I was Crichton when we argued over whose ship got what parts. Probably I was Crichton when you fell in love with him.
But then it changed.
I'm John because I just exist, now that Crichton is dead. I'm John because I remind you of a dead guy, a corpse, an unbreathing, unloving corpse. I'm John because I'm the copy and you need a way to separate the two.
I waited so long for you to call me John.
Now…
Now it just hurts.