A/N: O.o Oh... oh dear... Please don't kill me. I promise never to do it again... Probably.

I Disclaim.

"No."

"Yes."

"No!"

"Yes."

"They really expect us to?"

"Quite."

"Well, I won't. This is just... just... contumelious!"

"My dear, I don't believe I was aware you knew that word."

"Would you stop laughing, Albus! It's hardly funny. I should put those Weasley twins in detention just for mentioning that damnable screen to Jordan!"

"Language, Professor, young ears, remember. And besides it wasn't they who suggested the-"

"It's all very well for Lockhart! Him and his bloody pink robes! The Quiditch field is no place for Valentines Day!"

"-Lovebird Cam. Really, Minerva, you mustn't get so upset. If you do not wish to participate, that is quite alright. I'm sure Mr. Jordan wouldn't mind shifting the view over to a more promising prospective couple. There you are, see? All better."

"Headmaster, really, couldn't you have them take it down?"

"Nonsense, and deprive budding young love it's debut?"

"Humph. Fine. Then would you at least warn Jordan that the Hogwart's staff is to be excluded from the activity?"

"Of course, Minerva, if only so to assuage your temper. Though I must say, you do look very charming with that flush upon your face."

"Thank you, Albus. I am grateful."

"... My dear, I do believe that I shall have to speak with Mr. Jordan sooner than I had thought, as the student body has just witnessed you pecking my cheek."

"JORDAN!"

"And Gryffindor scores!!"

*Fin.... for now*

A/N: *Dodges flying knives and assorted sharp things* Eep. Well? Lol, was it completely horrible? Did any of it make sense? The idea just fell into my head not but an hour ago... and it probably should have stayed there. So, in case you didn't understand, the Lovebird Cam: I've never actually been to a game and seen one, but in baseball, the KissCam, yes? Make sense now? I'm also aware that there was no Quiditch game on Valentines Day that year (or any year really), but Lockhart and all that just fit kind of snug with the plot... so... I thought... why the hell not? If I'm traveling in a handbasket, shouldn't I make sure I'm doing it thoroughly and well? I have a request of all of you now. If you've managed to read the whole thing... would you mind dropping me a line and telling me exactly how horrible this was? ;) Thank you for reading, anyways, and I hope you somehow enjoyed it!