"Will you bare my child?"

I make that statement to every cheap girl I meet. Not waiting for their feelings, resignation, or desires; because I don't care, their is no future with me.

They don't know the meaning behind that statement...

You look at me and ask how I can be so loose? How can I expect any woman to agree when their is no relationship or feelings? The answer is simple, I don't want love or feelings. I don't want to care for the woman baring my child.

My father cared for the woman that gave birth to me. He cared because he did not know what would happen. He cared because he didn't understand the consequences of my being conceived. A consequence my mother paid for...

No thats not right...a mother is someone who raised you and made you into who you are. Someone who at least had seen their child.

The woman who had given birth to me, had been taken by the blackness of my cursed hand before I was even fully out of the womb. Such a sad fate for that woman, but can I really miss what I have never known?

When I first found out, dad had told me that it wasn't my fault; that it was Naraku's. Yet another life that was ruined by the demon. But I know the truth, whether by circumstance or accident...I killed my mother.

"Will you bare my child?" And die when they are born?

I always add this when I ask. When I get the blushes and surprise, I blanch in disgust. They don't know what I ask.

You glare at me with those big brown eyes, as I ignore you to look for naive girls. You call me a 'pervert' and a 'lecher', I only laugh at those words. For I am something far worse...

"Will you bare my children?"

I had asked you that question using the plural tense of 'child'. I did it, not even realizing my own feelings stirring. I wanted you not as a sacrifice but as my love. No one noticed the change in the question. The funny thing is that it changes the meaning behind the question entirely.

You yelled at me with a blush calling me "HENTAI!!!"

I wonder if I really laughed at that moment. Was their really so much more to us? I had stopped asking the question to you because I began to care. I don't want you to say yes anymore...not that you ever would.

I stopped asking the woman you consider a sister as well. Because I to love her like a sister.

I laugh a little at the sick irony of that statement. I am someone who has killed their mother, would my sister be so different?

I am so low, and I want nothing but to protect the both of you.

I don't want you to bare my children.

This is a statement I never say to you or to her. But even though I never tell you the truth, I still never ask the question anymore. I don't want to kill either of you.

Am I a coward? I wonder at night the truth of who I am. Am I me or the hole in my hand? That statement my not make much sense to you, but to me...it is my ultimate question. Am I the monster Naraku created? Am I no better then one of his incarnations?

I touch your bum only with my cursed hand. As if allowing it to greet the woman it will take. But then again, it won't be my curse that will take you...it will be my child's.

I'm still disgusted with the fact that I still seek you now. Not as I do for the other women, but as my father did for my mother. Only I know full well what it will lead to.

I don't want you to share my bed. And yet I still want to be able to wake up next to you every morning. To stare at your face every chance I get...

"You will bare my child?"

I ask it not as a question, but as a response to what you have just told me. You nod your head into my chest as we embrace. Already I notice how your belly is swelling. You said a yes to the question I had stopped asking.

I hold you closer, tears falling down my cheeks. You think I am happy, but I am not. How can I be when I just condemned you...and you don't even know it.

Why couldn't it have been one of those whores in the local village?

Why couldn't I have been stronger and resisted you that night?

I love you so much and yet here I am making the same mistake as my father. Am I so vile?

I never wanted to hurt you or make you cry?

When you bore my child...

I didn't want you to die.

Authors note: Okay this was extremely dark for me as well as new. I have never done a first person perspective with a character. Normally because I find it strange, but it was the only way I saw this one shot working.

I want to clear up somethings like my mental health for writing this. I do not have a bleak outlook on life or any issues that might possibly be suggested by this fic. I wrote out of the need for something angsty, and because this was a scenario I have never seen before.

Also I want to point out that my knowledge on Inuyasha is a little rusty. Its been like forever since I've seen the show. Anyway the point is I have no clue when Miroku got his wind tunnel. I just assume that he had it when he was born.

If somehow in any of the statements listed above, make absolutely no sense because of the actual truth in the Inuyasha world, them I'm sorry, this is just something that wouldn't go away.

I hope you all have a different look at Miroku now!