Disclaimer: I don't own any of the charters in this story but the plot line is mine and the snake is going to keep the plot bunnies down this time.

And now for... Purebloods and peanuts

Part

"Hermione work with me!" said Potter agitated.

"Harry I'm tryin but... you didn't even break my hymen...Your just too small" whined Hermione. She pushed him off of her, his lil' bitty manhood slipping out easily.

"See Harry I didn't even feel that!" said Hermione loudly as she stood and walked to her clothes.

"But...But. I've been able to satisfy many other girls..." said Harry as he to stood and looked for his clothes.

"Harry main word there, girls! I'm a woman who needs a big man. The only time I felt you, was when you entered me! Even then I thought about what ingredients go in to a...sleeping draft!" said Hermione having found her bra and panties.

"What do you mean?" yelled Harry.

"Well what I've been saying is you can't please me with your peanut sized penis!" yelled Hermione back. She zipped the zipper on her pants then proceeds to pull on her robe.

"Now if you grow a real sized penis and if I'm still interested. Then well talk!" said Hermione in a serious tone meaning every word.

Then she turned on her heel and left a half-dressed Potter in the Prefects Bathroom at eleven o'clock at night.

'Hopefully he'll get caught.' she said in her mind.

"God it's so hot!" said Hermione as she walked back up the marble staircase. But she turned on her heel and walked back down them heading to the dungeon to some, hopefully, cooler air.

She was still horny so when she fond Draco she pulled him in to the nearest closet.

"Draco I don't care if you don't like me. But will you please rid my mind of Potter's Peanut?" Hermione asked. Then she started to kiss his neck.

"I never said I hated you." Said Draco in a smooth silky voice that he clearly got from his father...

"DAMN IT!" Hermione yelled. She had unzipped the front of his pants.

Draco looked down and a blush came to his face.

"God Do all of the sexy men in this bloody school has to have a small fucking penis?" She yelled.

Suddenly the closet door opened: exposing Hermione and Draco to a rather furious looking Potions Master.

"What in the bloody Hell do you to think you are doing!" he said in a dangerous voice.

"What's it fucking look like I'm trying to get fucked and every fucking hot guy has a fucking small ass DICK." yelled Hermione.

"Maybe you're looking for the wrong type of man," said Snape in a whisper.

"WRONG! I've found out that EVERY man in Gryffindor has at lest the size of my pinky. And NOW it's starting to look like Slytherin is TOO" said Hermione she stamped her foot on 'too'

Draco takes his chance to flee and did so.

Snape's mouth turned up in to a sneer.

"Are you sure about that information?" asked Snape's silky voice, a challenge evident. As he toke a step in to the closet and shutting the door. It wasn't dark only the shadows seemed to elongate.

"Actually. I am and I'm thinking that Ginny looks pretty good." Said Hermione the challenge coming back in full force.

"I am a teacher. And one of the teachers jobs are to help a student in their time of need." Said Snape taking a step closer and pulling Hermione closer.

A smile came to her face. Snape toke her lips in to a kiss. While her hands undid the bottoms to his pants.

A...pasted her lips...

AN/ Now there are two different endings. The first one is for SSHG lovers and the one after that is SLASH lovers' story...HGGW.

Read both or skip to your own fancy.