Disclaimer: I don't own FFVII or its characters and I make no money from this. :(
The Date
He was pouting in that way that made him irresistable to any woman, and his prodding was making it hard for her, but Tifa Lockhart was determined to not give in. This time.
"Why won't you tell me?" he pleaded, for a third time that evening, his tone starting to become slightly irritated. This did not work in his favor and instead strengthened Tifa's resolve.
"I told you, it's up to you to remember that," she stated looking away, a sly smile still playing at her lips.
Cloud just stared for several moments before walking away in a huff.
Tifa knew he wouldn't be gone long, especially since all he did was walk upstairs to his office. After he left she let her smile out in full. It wasn't often that she let herself mess with him but this was... different. It was difficult. And she really didn't know the best way to handle it. Other than outright avoiding it, of course.
Vincent's phone gave off an annoying scream, Yuffie's voice crying out "answer your damn phone!" over and over again, obviously recorded secretly. She'd been known to do that to people's phones, steal them and leave messages or change ringtones and even add on her own messages. It was annoying but it was also somewhat... endearing perhaps? Vincent couldn't help but grin slightly, wondering when she'd recorded this and whether the ringtone only appeared for the person in question.
To his surprise he found the person on the other end of the line to be not Yuffie, but Cloud. Cloud didn't call as often, perhaps once a week, so the ringtone recording could have been around for several days.
Pushing past that thought, Vincent greeted his friend in his own way and asked what was needed.
"I need to ask you something, something about the past..." Cloud trailed off, seemingly searching for the right words.
"Of course, I'll be happy to give you whatever information you require," Vincent said calmly. It wasn't abnormal for Cloud to randomly ask questions about Shinra's history or Mako research, thing's Vincent might be privy to.
"I need to know..." Cloud trailed off again, muttering to himself. Vincent could have sworn he was talking to himself, asking himself questions and answering them. After a minute had gone by, Vincent began to get nervous.
"What is this about, Cloud? You can come right out and say it." He was hoping that a recurrence of Cloud's former identity crisis had not occurred.
"Uh, Vincent? I can't remember... when we went to the Gold Saucer, not long before... not long before heading to the Forgotten City for that first time..." He trailed off for yet a third time, finally forcing the older man to become slightly irritated.
"Yes Cloud? What about it?"
"I can't remember... were you there? My memory... it's a little fuzzy, from before I fell into the Lifestream. There are clear parts and then there are fuzzy parts, and blank parts, and parts where I'm just not sure... if it was me or if it was someone else or if it was a dream or a hope or... or... I don't know..."
As he trailed off for a fourth time, Vincent became less irritated, realizing that Cloud was indeed trying to sort through his problems, and that he was trusting him, as a friend, to listen and not to judge.
"Cloud... yes, I was there. I remember it very well, in fact."
He could hear Cloud sigh in what seemed to be relief. After a moment of silence, Cloud continued.
"Good, I'm glad... I wasn't imagining you there or misremembering. I think I do that sometimes, remember things out of order, put people into places they weren't or times they weren't there or... yeah, it's weird. It doesn't really... happen anymore. It's really just that time period, when Jenova had control and my memories were all jumbled. It's like my mind is trying to remember something it can't and I can't seem to place things where they go."
"That sounds about right," Vincent concluded. "For everything you went through, all of the experiments and Jenova's hold on you. I'm glad it's not affecting you the same now, though."
"Yeah, me too," Cloud agreed, with a slight grunt of a chuckle added in. Everyone was quite glad that while Cloud wasn't yet, and might never fully be, a "normal" man, he certainly wasn't the broken pawn of Jenova that he once was.
"So," Vincent quickly added, choosing to get back to the subject. He, like Cloud, wasn't used to talking this much at one time. In fact he'd been almost certain that Cloud would have a stroke after completing a record of four, rather jumbled, sentences. The conversation would likely end soon since neither man could talk for too long without feeling uncomfortable, and if the conversation had to end it was best that Cloud finally got to the point.
"So then, Cloud, is that why you called? To see if I joined your party at the Gold Saucer that one time?"
"Uh, no," Cloud admitted, suddenly sounding less sure of himself than he had a minute ago. "I called because... Tifa won't tell me something, something about that time, and I really think I should know about it."
"She won't?" Vincent was surprised. Tifa, above all others, always put Cloud and his needs first.
"Yeah, um, she won't... she won't tell me who I went out with." Cloud blurted it out, obviously realizing that he sounded ridiculous and trying to get the words out of the way quickly.
Vincent couldn't help but laugh for a moment before quickly sombering when hearing Cloud's frustrated sigh.
"It's just... I can't recall it exactly. I remember a play... roughly. I know I played a guy named Alfred and there was a dragon and a king and... my date..."
Vincent leaned in, intrigued. While Cloud would often speak of his general condition, he rarely gave information on specifics, and hearing him talk about this date suddenly gave Vincent a swell of pride, both in Cloud's progress and his own, having formed a bond strong enough with another human being that he could be so trusted.
"I remember... my date kind of pushed me out of my room, too... and we rode the gondola and saw the fireworks. They were beautiful, I remember the flashes of lights and words... someone was talking to me, and I was trying to focus, trying to understand, but it was all so confusing, overwhelming... My mind didn't really come back to me until we saw Cait Sith betraying us and got back to the hotel. I realized the next day that I didn't remember... who I went out with..."
Cloud trailed off again, and Vincent wasn't sure whether he should be shocked that Cloud could forget such a thing, or feel pity for the poor man who was so jumbled and helpless at the time yet no one quite realized it, or maybe he should just be flabbergasted that he'd just heard a full eight, EIGHT!, sentences in a row, from Cloud Strife, detailing a very personal and private matter. Vincent could only sit in silence for awhile, which inadvertently prompted a now even less secure Strife to continue.
"I know it's an odd question, and I know it's in the past and it doesn't matter, but still... I feel like I should know. If only to know whether or not it might have affected... certain people."
"Ten sentences."
"What?"
"You just spoke ten complete sentences in a row." Vincent paused for a moment, realizing how bizarre that sounded out loud. "That's progress, Cloud," he added for good measure.
"Heh, yeah," Cloud replied, a soft chuckle evident again in his voice.
"I cannot tell you."
"Wh, what??"
"I cannot tell you," Vincent replied, somewhat regretting that he did not, honestly, know with whom Cloud enjoyed the evening as he hadn't particularly cared to ever find out. Vincent was perhaps the only person in all of Gaia who wouldn't care for the juiciest gossip around.
After a quick explanation as to why he could not inform Cloud of his Mystery Date's identity, Vincent agreed to help him find out. There were several other people to ask, one of which being Yuffie, the biggest gossip you could find. Cloud agreed to contact Cid and Barrett if Vincent would contact Yuffie for that information, and the two ended their bizarrely long, and personal, conversation.
Vincent's call to Yuffie had been fruitless. While the younger woman (far, far younger, as Vincent often reminded himself) was more than happy to receive a call from Vincent, she refused to pony up the information.
"Nope, no can do. Tifa already called and asked that I not tell."
"Since when do you follow instructions?"
"Since I found out all the dirt she had on me. Sorry, Vinnie, I wish I could help but.. looks like Spiky's gonna have to figure this out on his own."
The conversation with Barrett was far longer but just as fruitless, though admittedly more painful as Barrett had taken offense, on Tifa's behalf, and whacked Cloud upside the head, forgetting for what seemed like the umpteenth time that he should never use his metal arm for such a maneuver.
After Cloud regained consciousness, and received a lecture on treating his woman better, he asked why Barrett refused to help him out.
"Sorry Spike, Tifa asked me to keep mum on the subject. Says it's in your best interest if you figure it out yourself instead of having others fill in the gaps."
Cloud could only sigh and leave to go home.
A day later Cloud regretted very much asking Cid for help.
Not only had Tifa placed the same call to him, but he was smooth enough to request more information from Cloud, acting like he might be able to help.
When he finally got around to making Cloud consider who his date options were... well, that's when things went bad. Tifa and Aerith only got solemn nods from the pilot, but Yuffie's name made him blanche ("the brat? She was sixteen for F--'s sake!"), and when he mentioned envisioning a scenario in which he'd been out with Barrett...
Cloud eventually had to leave his presence as the pilot simply would not stop laughing.
"Nanaki's no good, he's closer to Tifa than me now," Cloud grumbled, yet again on the phone with Vincent.
"Reeve won't budge either, even though he witnessed you and your date first hand," Vincent added.
Cloud could only let out a coarse sigh, sitting down heavily in his chair.
"Cloud... why is this so important to you?"
"I thought we went over that," Cloud muttered, sounding far less happy with his friend this time than last.
"What I mean to say is... why this one event? What makes this so special?"
There was a long silence before Cloud let out a relenting sigh.
"I think it's hurting Tifa."
"Hurting Tifa?"
"I think it's hurting her... but I don't know why. I either forgot our first date... or I dated someone else... or hung out with Barrett, which would not be dating. At all."
"No, of course not," Vincent agreed, wondering why Barrett's name had popped up but choosing not to question it.
"She acted weird when I brought it up, not like other times I brought up. I think we were both ignoring that time intentionally, like some unspoken rule. In these past couple of years we never mentioned it to each other, but then I had some flashes of memory and I wasn't sure if they were right. I knew I could ask Tifa, that she'd tell me, but..."
"She didn't tell you?"
"No, I asked for days! Just casually at first. I thought it surprised her when I asked, but then after a few days it was like she was playing some game with me, avoiding the question, or just not answering it."
"So you've plead with her and she refuses to answer at all?"
"Yeah."
"Why?"
"What?" Cloud asked, sounding totally lost by this point.
"Why would Tifa refuse to help you?"
There was a long silence as both men pondered.
"Like I said... I think it hurts her, for one reason or another, and maybe... I don't know. Maybe she doesn't want to make it real for me."
"Real for you? What do you mean?"
"Maybe, if it stays jumbled, then maybe we can ignore it like we have been. But maybe if I know what happened that night, who I was with and what I said and what she said... or he... then maybe..."
"That would mean it actually happened and it becomes a permanent part of your history together," Vincent concluded, finishing Cloud's thought.
"It's like you read my mind," Cloud gave a slight chuckle again. Vincent had to admit, he was liking this new form of comraderie, this... 'friendship.' Perhaps he should answer his damn phone more often.
"I guess then you'll either have to remember... or forget."
Both men were quiet again, chewing on Vincent's words. Remember or forget. Find out what really happened that night, create a definite timeline with definite people, figure out his past down to every last, minute detail, or...
Tifa was just finishing up her latest menu, rechecking that she'd have everything prepared for the coming week. She didn't hear Cloud come downstairs at first, partially because of how busy she was but also because she was certain he was still mad at her, unhappy about her refusal to help him out.
Seeing him, seeing a light in his eyes that hadn't been there the past several days during their... 'discussions'... Tifa felt her heart sink. She knew it would come to this, and really, it wasn't that big of a deal, was it? It was two years ago, during a confusing time in their lives. She could easily forgive him for having a jumbled brain as it wasn't his fault at all, and certainly he hadn't done anything for which he should be regretful. Still... it made her uncomfortable to think back to that time, to see his determination of finding out the truth, and to feel all of those old emotions - jealousy, hope, despair, desire, determination, surrender - suddenly come pouring in, threatening to come back and haunt her new life, their new life.
Giving him a small but forced smile she walked over to him, watching his eyes carefully, trying to read every emotion present.
"So," she started softly, after several intense seconds of them simply gazing into each others' eyes. "I see you know now."
"Know what?" he questioned, cocking his head to the side.
Tifa was slightly taken aback, half by his response and half by the small grin playing at his lips.
"You know... who you went out with back then, that one time... on the date." Tifa found her words faltering, suddenly feeling like she was the confused one. Obviously Cloud was up to something.
"What date?" Cloud questioned again, his small grin getting larger, such as to be noticeable to the naked eye.
"Th-THE date! The one at the Gold Saucer! The one you've been badgering me, and Barrett, and Cid, and... and Nanaki and Yuffie and- " Tifa was suddenly stopped by Cloud's hands coming up to her shoulders, forcing her to make eye contact.
His grin was gone now, replaced by a sorrow, a recognition.
"Does it really hurt you this badly?" His voice sounded so different, so in control...
Tifa couldn't explain it. Yes, yes it did hurt her. It hurt her because it was old, raw emotion, it was a painful event during a painful time and while she wished it wasn't, it would be forever engraved in her memories, and maybe, just maybe, she didn't want it engraved in his. And it hurt her because she knew it was foolish to hold onto the past so vehemently, especially when she was the one telling everyone to move on. And it hurt her because whenever she thought about that time, and the emotions it conjured up, she felt weak and human, she felt petty and selfish and she felt... she just didn't feel like herself. Perhaps she was lucky that it was only really this one event, this one thing, that affected her so. But it was this one event that he had to dig up, had to remind not only her but everyone else about, and it was killing her and she knew she couldn't talk to Cloud about it because just thinking about it made it hard to be near him. So yes, completely irrespective of whether or not it should do so, this did indeed hurt her.
Looking into his eyes she tried to silently convey all that was running through her head. She felt his grip on her shoulders release and saw him look to the floor, the gnawing in the pit of her stomach growing, her heart thudding, pulse racing. She'd never meant to let her own pain hurt him.
"Tifa... I never went on a date," he whispered softly, his eyes rising to meet hers again. He didn't look nearly as determined, nor as playful, as he had a moment ago. But he was trying.
"Yes... yes you did, you know you did, you-"
"No."
"No?"
"No," he concluded with a curt nod, waiting for her to acquiesce. Obviously her blatant confusion made that difficult, so he continued.
"No, because... see my mother always told me what a date was, and what you did. And no matter what you did, a date always, everytime, involved eating."
"Eh?" Tifa's eyes widened in surprise. She hadn't been expecting that one.
"Yeah, you see," he continued, eyes on the floor again. "There are breakfast dates, and lunch dates, and dinner dates, and dates for ice cream or coffee or some other treat, but... my mother always taught me that on a date you always had to ingest some type of food."
"You had to... eat?" Tifa was somewhere between dumfounded and bewildered, at this point just going along with what Cloud was saying and far too emotionally drained to interject her own thoughts on the matter.
"Yes, you need to eat on a date. And you see... I remember a lot of things from that night at the Gold Saucer. I remember a knock on the door, being pushed out of my room, starring in a play and riding a Gondola. But I don't remember food."
Cloud's eyes rose again to meet hers, and suddenly... she felt like laughing. The grin that spread over her face was infectious, and soon his mouth had a far larger grin than she'd seen in a long time, briefly prompting her to wonder if it hurt his mouth any.
"So... are you saying you were edibly unsatisfied by the experience?" Tifa quipped.
"'Edibly Unsatisfied?' Tifa, I was downright STARVING! By the time I saw a robotic cat on a moogle laughing and jumping into a helicopter I was half certain it was a hallucination from hunger." Cloud's grin was dazzling now.
Tifa could only stare, a smile on her face, unsure of where this was heading but ever so certain she'd like it.
"So, I was thinking," Cloud continued, in a fashion that was reasonably more Cloud like. "I was thinking that... I think this means I've never actually been on a date before, not one where you go out and eat something somewhere."
"Oh?"
"Yeah, so... I'm feeling kind of hungry right now," Cloud said, by now looking at the floor again, face burning up, scratching the back of his head hard enough to leave marks.
"So... you want to go eat something?" Tifa prompted, momentarily startled when he snapped his head back up at her, a relieved look on his face.
"Yeah, I'd like that," he grinned broadly.
Tifa couldn't help but throw her arms around his neck, feeling him grip her back. It felt so nice to be near him and not feel that old, jarring pain stirring up. Now all she could feel was hope.
It was late when the couple returned home, but Vincent was used to it. He'd been coming to watch the children once a week for a few months now, and he'd become accostumed to the way this 'babysitting' gig worked. It was actually quite a painless task, in fact he might even call it 'enjoyable,' though the most he'd admit to was 'tolerable.'
He watched as the two lovebirds walked to the front door, holding hands and smiling. They were particularly exuberant tonight, and Vincent could guess why as he'd been the one to help Cloud pick out the ring.
Watching the two share a passionate kiss in the streetlight before entering made Vincent yearn momentarily for what they had, for what he himself had chosen not to have.
After congratulating the happy couple and bidding them adieu, refusing their offer of staying for the night, he took his leave, walking out into the brisk autumn air, letting the cold and darkness sweep him up.
Before he could get too far in his thoughts a sudden voice yelled out, "Quick, answer your phone! Quick, answer your phone!" It repeated several times in Yuffie's voice, causing Vincent to grit his teeth for a second at the fact that her surprise ringtone had made him jump. He was really going to have to figure out how and when she was doing that.
Answering it he was relieved to be greeted by the voice of his friend and not anyone else.
"Hey Vincent, just wanted to say... thank you. I don't think I would be here if you hadn't been there to help me out."
Cloud's voice was earnest and Vincent couldn't help but smile.
"Of course, my friend. Anytime."
"So, when are you going to let me help you out?"
"What do you mean?" Vincent queried.
"Well, it seems to me that Yuffie is spending an awful lot of time in your pants-"
"What??"
"-grabbing your phone. Just figured you wouldn't be letting her do that if you didn't... you know... um..."
"I did not realize that this was how she was purloining my mobile device, but if that is the case I supposed I'll need to find other methods of security," he spoke quickly and efficently, without emotiion. Yuffie had been pickpocketing him? In public?
"Sorry, just thought... anyway, I should get back to Tifa. Talk to you later."
"Yes, good bye... and congratulations." The two hung up and Vincent continued onwards.
Yet even as he walked on in the dark, cold night he couldn't help but grin a little as he thought about the silly little ninja girl playing games with him.
Hmm... perhaps he just might have to reconsider Cloud's offer.
AN: K, was meant to be smaller than this, but it got kinda big. Oops. I also didn't expect to add in the Yuffentine or the Cloud-Vincent friendship so much, but eh, it kinda flowed I think.
I think I wrote this because I often see Tifa's feelings about the past pushed aside and it bothers me. It bothers me that Cloud gets the resolution, that Cloud's allowed to be bitter about his childhood or Tifa ignoring him or, well, anything, but Tifa always has to forgive and put everything behind her and be like some superwoman, not allowed to feel emotions. She's human, she's justified in having complicated feelings even if there's no real basis for them, and even if Cloud wasn't himself and she consciously knows that there may still be a part that subconsciously holds grudges. It's just a part of human nature.
At the same time, I feel she is the type to get over things easily if a proper resolution is presented. Sooo, that's where you get her "getting over" the date thing with a simple technicality. That's not to say it won't ever bother her again, but for the most part she and Cloud have chosen to take a confusing and potentially painful experience and just replace it with a happy one.
I also wanted to mess with the "four potential dates" thing, and the fact that none of them are technically canon (well, yet, as a remake, guidebook, creator interview or sequel could make one canon). In a sense it really doesn't matter at all who Cloud dated as it doesn't really affect anything that happened after. I didn't want to mention whether or not Cloud had dated Aerith or Yuffie (and made Tifa jealous), or Tifa and made her upset that her first date was awkward and forgotten. Despite the fact that my husband got Barrett as his date, without trying, I sort of assume that it wasn't a possibility with this storyline as I don't think Tifa would really have anything to be upset over then (maybe a little confused, though).
Anyway, hope you enjoyed! Dunno if/when I'll be writing again since my time and inspiration is sparse. But we'll see :)