Am I seriously that invisible to him? Am I that transparent he doesn't even take the time to

notice me?...Apparently...

My name is Bella and I'm a junior at Forks High School. There's not too

much I can say to describe myself other than I'm 16, don't have much of a style and I'm completely and totally into this guy, Edward Cullen.

Why is he so beautiful? Every time I look at him it hurts to look away. His eyes alone capture my attention. It stings me to make eye contact with him. He's not exactly new to this school, well not anymore at least. He transferred schools our sophomore year, no one really knows why. But why question it, God brought him here, and I don't want him anywhere else. Yet here we are in English class, across from each other, and I don't wanna face any other direction.

"Bella...Bella???!!!"...Alice called. "You rang," I said sternly.

" Oh my God were you staring at Edward again?" she said it as if it were a bad thing.

" Yeah, I can't help it, I mean he's right there." I said innocently.

Of course Alice just rolled her eyes and went back to work on our assignment. She's a very petite thing, and a little taller than I am. One thing about Alice and I is that we're so much alike, yet we're so different

Ring!!! The bell rang to go to our next class.

I couldn't believe it, he has me mesmerized even when he's walking to his next period. Since it was the first day of school our teacher was sitting us in alphabetical order, of course that mean having to sit away from each other again. Darn! It's not even a good a view. Oh well. It's the price you pay when you have last names no where near each other in the alphabet.

Finally 4th period rolls around and I see my friend whom I havent seen all summer and I give her a huge hug.

" Jessy!!!" I almost nearly knocked her down.

" Belly!!!" she screamed back.

" So I heard you Edward Cullen first period" she said teasingly.

" Yes! And I cant stand it why is he so beautiful" I said almost as if I were lost in a daze.

" Sweety, Edward Cullen isn't even cute. But I'll tell you who is, Edward's brother Emmet."

Wow did she really just say that? Emmet?! I mean I know he looks somewhat like Edward since they're twins but Emmet?! He's not even a comparison. I mean sure Emmet is nicely built when it comes to his muscles but Emmet?! The guy who would probably lose a game show to my baby sister who knows even less about the world then he does?! But I guess if she likes him then hey, I'll go for it. After all I'm not one to judge.

" I can't help it," she says, " he's just so cute and ahh (she squeals) I don't know, I don't know him and I'm too shy to talk to him."

" Jessy, what if we talk to each other's crush for each other?" I say.

" Huh?" she said confused.

" Well you like, Emmet right?" she nodded her head. " So what if I talk to Emmet about the kinda girls he's interested in and you talk to Edward about the kinda girls he's interested in."

" Yeah I was thinking that. I mean no offense but I don't see what you think is attractive about Edw"-

" Girl you better not even think of finishing that last word" I said jokingly.

Eventually I gave Jessica Edward's myspace page so she could talk to him for me. The best part was that he had no idea who she was. So it worked great for me. I could trust her...right? I just have to play it cool and not mention anything to Edward about the strange girl who's been messaging him on myspace. I know its totally pathetic but i cant help it.

I just wish he knew how i felt when he spoke to me. I can't describe him any other way than the guy version of me. He sees me for who i am brings out a side of me that hides underneath everything. He gets me. He is me. I only wish my friends could see this side of him. Theyre not too big of Edward fans.

I guess when you spend a whole summer thinking of not thinking about Edward, you just kind of do. And it made me realize i could look at every other guy that walked by me and he still wouldnt be a comparison.