Theories

Disclaimer: I own my brain and the ideas that come from it, nothing else.

"DAMN IT! IZAAAAAYAAAA!"

"Huh?" The informant paused from running, giving the blonde an innocent, confused look. He widened his eyes and pointed to himself. "Shizu-chan couldn't be talking about me, could he?"

"Fucking flea!" Snarling, Shizuo took the chance to swing the stop sign he had yanked from the ground at Izaya's head. Izaya laughed as he dodged effortlessly. "Ah, he is, he is~! Of course, Shizu-chan is too much of a protozoan to realize that I am much more akin to a god than a flea~"

"Shut up and let me squash you, flea!"

"Silly Shizu-chan~"

"Bastard!"

"Protozoan~"

"Asshole!"

"Instinct-driven, mindless, monstrous beast~!"

"FLEA!"

*click**click* *click*

"… Erika, why are you taking pictures of them? This happens all the time, you know…"

"Hehe! Isn't it obvious, Dotachin? I'm going to document their love~!"

"…"

Grinning madly, Erika put down her camera as Shizuo chased Izaya down another street and out of her line of view. "Ah~ love-hate relationships are so~ sexy~!"

"I'd say it's more like a hate-hate relationship," her fellow otaku, Walker said reasonably.

"HA! Walker, don't you know? In manga mutual hate means love!"

"Uh… well sometimes but-"

Still grinning, Erika waggled her eyebrows suggestively. "And it makes the romance so much spicier! Just imagine it! At the end of a long day of being Izaya, he starts feeling lonely~, so he comes to see his favorite monster," Erika smirked, stressing favorite as if Izaya had a collection of monsters he could be playing with, "And then of course, Shizu-chan, who has also had a long, stress-filled day, sees Iza-Iza, and gets a huge rush of emotion~! All that bottled up angry gets mixed up with his fiery lust, and he just explodes at Iza-Iza~! And then, when he finally does catch him, he drags him back to his apartment for some sweet, passionate se-"

"ERIKA!" The other three in the van shouted.

"What?" Erika pouted, annoyed. She'd just been getting to the good part.

"Please, just please, stop. If you want to fantasize, do it at home!"

"But Dotachin, these aren't fantasies! They're theories! And soon, when I get my evidence, they'll be cold, hard facts!"

"If you don't shut up about those two, I'll throw you into a cold, hard institutional ward!"

"Aw, you're no fun, Dotachin!"

"And stop calling me that!"

XXX

In his apartment in Ikebukuro, Shizuo yawned and slowly woke. He always got kinda groggy in the post-coital haze. He reached across his bed, searching…

He frowned. Where was…

Blinking, he sat up and spotted a figure standing before the window in his bedroom.

"Hey," he drawled, grinning lazily. "Come back to bed."

Slowly the figure turned and Shizuo paled. "Hey, what's wrong…?

Shaking slightly, the figure crawled back into the bed and into Shizuo's arms.

"Hey, what's wrong? You're trembling…" Shizuo murmured, running his hands through short raven hair and along pale skin soothingly.

"… she knows…"

"What? Who knows what?"

Izaya looked up into his secret lover's eyes, his face filled with horror. "Erika. She know everything…!"

MWAHAHA! Izaya torture!

Anyway, I realized that as much as I love Shizaya, I never actually written anything where they have an established relationship, so here I go!

Izaya: Oh dear…

Me: XD This story, as you might be able to tell from the title, will just be a series of drabbles about Shizuo and Izaya… And it's rated M for language… For now~ ;D

Izaya: *facepalm*

Shizuo: Wait, does that mean I might get sex?

Me: Maybe if I get reviews~

( On a serious note, to all my Apostasy fans, I just don't really have the inspiration right now… The thing is, I have a lot I COULD be writing from Izaya's POV, but I just started writing from Shizuo's POV again… Do you guys want Izaya POV? :I )