We've Already Missed The Spring

"Oh, and Lorelai – if you see Luke – tell him that he and he alone is responsible for all party cleanup!"

"Okay!"

"Hey Lorelai! You wanna make a Morey sandwich?"

"Maybe later, Babette."

No, she didn't want a sandwich, no Morey sandwich, no Tuna BLT, no nothing. She wanted to see Luke. She needed to talk to him. Tell him how fabulous this whole party was. How Rory was out of herself with joy about it. How she was out of herself with joy for having the chance of spending the last day with her in such a special way, among all their friends. How she could never ever repay him for his kindness of doing all this for them.

What had her dad said earlier today? "This is for you as well, Lorelai," right?

Was it? Some part of her – her guts, perhaps – said it was so, and speaking of her guts – they were suddenly swarming with bees. What should she say? What could she say? And where was he?

He was nowhere to be seen at the party, so her best guess was the diner. She headed there with firm strides, ignoring the little voice in her head practically screaming at her, 'Whatcha think you're doing?! He doesn't care for you the same way! You're better off as friends!'

'But he's done all this! You wanted a sign – some sign – and here it is,' another voice – the gut voice – said just as persistently.

'But he's done this for Rory!'

'Well, even if! I'll just say thanks!'

And then the fight was over because she spotted Luke coming out of the diner, a bag of coals in his hands. Her heart was beating so hard that she vaguely thought she didn't need the rollercoaster trip she had planned with Rory; walking down this street was nerve-wrecking enough.

"Hey –"

"Hey –"

She sighed and looked at her own feet before forcing herself to look straight into his eyes again. She'd come here to tell him thanks, yes, that was what she had meant to do, tell him – tell him –

"Thank you!"

"Ah… It was no big deal…"

He made a little gesture indicating she was welcome, and all her eloquence let her down in this moment. There was so much she meant to tell him, but she had lost her command of the entire English language. "Luke…"

"I just – like to see you happy."

The only thing she grasped was that it was true. He truly wanted her to be happy. He always, always had. But to be happy… To be happy she needed him. She had been happier with him than with anyone else, ever, and the intensity of that sudden realisation made her as dizzy as that look on his face over there right now. She tried to smile – he dropped the coals – and somehow, somehow she was in his arms and his lips were on hers and thank God and Andy Griffith that he swung his arm around her so tightly, because she was on the verge of swaying with that outburst of genuine blissfulness.

Luke Danes wasn't perfect. Far from it, in the eyes of many a person, surely. He was grumpy, and he had a hard time letting his feelings show, and he liked things slow, and calm, and without caffeine, in short, without all that which Lorelai embodied. No, he wasn't perfect, but he was perfect to her, not only in this moment there in the middle of the street, not only because Rory would leave Stars Hollow tomorrow before dawn and God knew when she might come back, and her mother was in need of some comfort. She needed him and she wanted him regardless of all the other stuff, and if he'd only keep on holding her tight like this…

Of course, they had been kissing a lot in the course of time. They had been kissing after making up after fights too, and quarrels, and their separation two years ago. But even that night back then had not tasted so bittersweet like their kiss right here, after being apart for a little more than a year, after everything that had happened. They interrupted the kiss to catch some breath, their foreheads touched, and with her eyes still closed, she whispered, "Don't let go…"

"I won't if you let me."

She chuckled. "Oh, trust me, I do!"

And then they kissed again, and Lorelai took quite a while to realise that their reunion (but was it a reunion? Or just the heat of the moment, a little fleeting kiss – no, surely, fleeting didn't match the feeling – but…) had not remained unnoticed by the other townspeople. The next time she looked, she saw Taylor nearby, gawking, and Kirk next to him, sticking a finger into his ear and wriggling it, looking hardly less dumbfounded. Gipsy walked by, her brows raised so high, they disappeared underneath her fringe, and Lorelai couldn't help it but laugh.

"You know what?" she asked him flatly.

"What?"

"I'd love to stay here with you, exactly like this, but after all the trouble you've had bringing about this party, and seeing that I've got a kid that will abandon me in –" She checked her watch. "In less than ten hours in order to pursue fame, glory and the Pulitzer Prize…"

"Yes. We better get back." He let go of her and picked up the bag of coals again.

She was immediately back at 'distressed' and cried, "But – we'll see each other – right?"

A little smirk played around his lips. "I'll be near the grill if you're looking for me."

"Good!" She gave a loud, relieved sigh, and a little cheeky, added, "I want a burger. Make that two burgers. Medium, please. I won't take any old burger, you know, it's got to be –"

"I know how you like your burgers, Lorelai."

Their gazes locked; she whispered, "And will you reserve one – two, I mean – for me?"

"They'll be waiting for you, ready whenever you want them," he replied very earnestly, and overwhelmed by affection, she tiptoed and brushed another kiss on his lips, before resolutely grabbing his hand and pulling him back to the party.

She got her burgers, by the way. And they were perfect. She told him exactly that – that she had never eaten a better, more perfect burger, and he laughed at her, but in a very amiable way. She endured all the quizzical looks of the other people (and was deeply grateful that at least Richard and Emily had left already); Sookie squeezed her so tightly with elation that Lorelai nearly suffocated, and then came Rory, who had the broadest of grins plastered onto her face.

"Guess what I heard," she said innocently.

"The Police will do a revival tour."

"Guess what else I heard."

"Senator Obama prefers tea over coffee, which is giving you so severe second thoughts about your assignment that you seriously contemplate to stay here and go with me on the rollercoaster tour instead –"

"He could be drinking Mate tea for all I care and I'd still go on the campaign trail."

"Shoo, daughter of mine! Did I teach you nothing?!"

"One of the things you've taught me is being persistent when persistence is needed, so don't you try deviating. I heard that my mother has been spotted snogging with a certain local man."

"I've kissed the man organising all this for you, and said thanks –"

"Luke did this?" Rory made big eyes.

"All by himself, yeah. For you."

The girl laughed and flew around her mother's neck. "Not only for me, Mom," she exclaimed. "As you well know! Oh, you asked for a sign! There you go! Oh, I told you!"

"You do enjoy being right, don't you, Miss Know It All?"

"Not as much as knowing that you'll be in good hands when I can't be looking after you!"

"Hey!" She took a deep breath. "Though I'm not sure that – well, it was only kiss after all…"

"Are you trying to kid me, or yourself, Mom? It is so obvious he's not over you, and you're clearly not over him either – if you want any proof, take a look at your divorce papers."

She spoke jokingly, but that mention gave her mother a sharp pang of – well, guilt, maybe. "Your dad and I – we didn't – it wasn't just because of Luke, Rory, you mustn't blame –"

"I'm not blaming anyone, Mom. You've separated because you couldn't love him the way a wife should love her husband, that's all, and I know that. Whether this has anything to do with the fact that you're in love with Luke – well, I'll let you figure that one out yourself."

The rest of the evening passed in a haze; Lorelai couldn't make up her mind whether she felt happy beyond expression because Luke and she had kissed – and flirted a bit over the grill – or whether she was deeply saddened because she'd have to let Rory go in the next morning, or whether it was possible to be feeling both at the same time. They left the party at half past twelve, among the other last guests, to give Rory a bit of a chance to sleep some hours at least.

"Did you like your party?" Lorelai asked when her daughter laid down in her bed, wearing her oldest pyjamas, because she had, of course, packed all her good ones. Her only good ones, to be precise. Oh well, why make bones about it – Emily had bought her some nice pairs of pyjamas, there had been no way stopping her.

"I loved every minute of it. It was very nice of Luke to invite Grandma and Grandpa, too."

"I think that Sookie took care of that bit, actually."

"You know what I mean."

Lorelai nodded, almost melancholically. "Shall I tell you something funny?"

Rory smirked roguishly. "Grandma lured you into coming to dinner on Friday. She told me on the way to their car."

"Did she tell you as well that she admonished me not to come in jeans?"

"You look great in jeans."

"I know! That woman has no sense for sex appeal!"

Rory reached out for her mother's hand. "I'm glad you'll go. It clearly means a lot to Grandma, you know?"

"Yes, I know… I don't know how it'll go though. Without you –"

"You've dined with them without me before."

She set her alarm clock, and Lorelai exclaimed, "Hey! I said I'll wake you up!"

"Yes, you did, but you and I both know that it wouldn't be the first time when you sleep late –"

"Likely excuse! That happened – like one time – do you really have to harp on and on about it? Besides – I take it that if you should miss that plane, you'd be excluded from the trail and –"

"And that is exactly why I'll sleep so much better with my dear old alarm clock ticking next to me."

Lorelai pulled the blanket a little higher and tugged her up like she used to do when Rory was small still. "I love you, kid."

"Love you too, Mom…"

She bowed down and kissed Rory's forehead. "Sleep well, sweetie. Dream of me."

"Same back at ya – just that I hope you'll not be dreaming of me."

"That's right. I'll try dreaming of my other daughter – your replacement. The kid that never leaves her mommy, but lives with her until she's old and grey… A female version of Kirk, basically."

"He'd look cute with long hair and pigtails."

They both cracked up, and Lorelai tried shaking off the vision of Kirk with pigtails when she shut the bedroom door behind her after all. She didn't go to bed though, but headed straight back to the town square. Luke wasn't the only one tidying up there; Morey was there as well, so were Zach and Brian, Andrew and some others. Lorelai's heart was beating madly again, the harder the closer she came, and she raised her hand to half a wave. "Private Gilmore reporting to service, Sir," she said with fake boldness once she was in Luke's earshot.

He smiled and shook his head. "What are you doing here? Go back home and sleep! You've got a long day ahead of you!"

"Ts! Sleep! You think I could sleep? Come on, tell me what needs to be done next."

Loads of things needed to be done indeed, and he didn't seriously try warding her off. They took down the makeshift awnings and tarps, folded them and carried them over to Miss Patty's, where the respective owners would come to fetch them in the next morning. Andrew and Morey cleared away the grills, Lorelai and Zach collected all the empty bottles and glasses and cups and took them over to Luke's, and in the storeroom she bumped into the owner and the flutter in her stomach returned with a vengeance.

"Where's Ceasar?" she asked lightly – at least she tried to go for 'lightly', even if it might not sound like this.

"I sent him home early. At least one of us needs to be well rested tomorrow morning and see after the diner."

"So you'll take a day off tomorrow?"

This had definitely not sounded 'lightly', but curious, perhaps even hopeful, and he gave her an awkward glance in reply that was worthy of her own embarrassment. No teen in the Stars Hollow High would behave so insecurely, surely, or only the worst geeks would, and if there was one thing that Lorelai Gilmore had never been, it was this – she had never been a geek, and as for Luke – well, he had been a successful athlete at school, he certainly hadn't had much occasion for such utter embarrassment facing the opposite sex either…

"Yeah, I'll take the morning off," he murmured. "Ceasar will come at ten –"

"Ten?! Oh my! But how is Rory supposed to survive the journey if she doesn't get a proper breakfast?! This might well be her last chance until Thanksgiving to get a decent cup of coffee, you know, and –"

"When will you have to leave for the airport?"

"The plane takes off at 10.35, so we need to be there at seven –"

"Seven?!"

"Yeah, you know Rory, she likes being earlier than necessary, just to make sure. However, we'll have to leave at five thirty –" She saw his eyebrows rise, and sniggered. "Just in case there's any construction work on the road to Hartford, obviously –"

"Come here at five," he interrupted her. "I can't let Rory go without a good breakfast. God knows what she'll have to eat on the road for the next four months."

"Oh, I packed Twinkies in her bag, and Fritos, and vanilla Zingers –"

"Be here at five exactly."

"Oh Luke! You'll cook breakfast for my child?" she asked coyly, glad they got back to their routine of quibbling.

"On a second thought, I should consider sending the poor girl care packages!"

"Great. You can give me your stuff, because I'll be sending her bags of snacks every week, and –"

"You'll poison the kid with fast food."

"That's my secret plan, yes. She'll come home, don't you think, once she's got a gastric ulcer?"

His expression turned very tender. "She'll be fine, Lorelai. And… I'm a hundred percent positive that she'll miss you just as much as you'll miss her."

She couldn't help it, she got teary-eyed, and without hesitation, Luke stepped closer and swung an arm around her, allowing her to press her face against his chest. "Rory will be fine, and you will be fine, too. You will know that this is what she always wanted to do, that it makes her happy doing it, and that will make you happy in turn."

"Yeah," she moaned, knowing he was right, grateful that he was there in this moment, and cautiously hopeful that he might be there in the time to come as well. He stroked her back, when Zach burst in with a box of empty bottles.

"Sorry!" he gasped, dropped the box and hurried out again.

Lorelai started to laugh and wiped her tears away. "You've got to send Zach home," she said.

"Oh, he'll rally again from the shock."

"I'm sure he will, but he'll have to be fit tomorrow."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. He'll have to help Ceasar so that his boss can steer clear of the diner the whole day."

"Is that so?"

She let her hand glide up to his neck and gently pulled him down. "Mmh-mh, it is," she muttered before closing in for a kiss.

Clearly, Zach didn't dare coming into the storeroom again after this little intermezzo, and when they next heard him in the diner, Luke called for him and told him to go home, and come back in the morning to assist Ceasar.

"Because he'll not be here," Lorelai added with a broad grin. "You kids will have to manage the diner all by yourselves!"

The chapter title is a reference to An Affair To Remember from 1957.