Exiting the Elevator

Rating: PG

Author's note: Since I've been reading quite a bit of the work of others as I wait impatiently for the next new episode of Grey's, I decided it was only fair to do my part and contribute something. Of course, I find that I much prefer commenting on the work of others (mostly Shonda and Co.) than writing my own. Also, there's a term called head hopping. It's supposedly a giant no no, but since no one is paying me, I did it anyone. So there. :)

Disclaimer: All errors are mine and obviously I own nothing. If I did I'd have a really nice house and be planning my round-the-world trip for the hiatus. There also wouldn't be babygate II right now.

Description: I appreciate happy fic, and cute baby/family fic. I apparently don't write it. This is merely a short continuation of the elevator scene where important questions are asked and answered and the characters are allowed to exit the elevator. So at least we know it's not hell.

The elevator doors had opened and closed twice, but neither of the occupants had moved. Arizona's declaration and Callie's subsequent reveal had rooted them in a sort of horrible tableau, unable to move forward but without direction to end.

So this is how it felt, Arizona thought, as her brain struggled to process her new reality. This is how it felt when one's heart shattered. No wonder she'd so studiously avoided the experience. God, she wanted to throw up. She wanted to scream and yell and hit something, preferably someone...hard. Really, really hard. She'd made a mistake. Just one mistake and the laws of physics had decided to kick her in the ass.

Alright, she huffed to herself, so she'd known it was a mistake almost immediately, even as she'd studiously avoided any and all references to her girlfriend for weeks as she'd put on her patented smile and pushed forward. The tears had been...unexpected…surprising even. For once her heart wouldn't allow her mind to shunt it aside, demanding equal billing and she'd had no choice but to listen...damn it.

She'd played out a variety of scenarios on the plane ride home - how exactly Calliope would respond. The door shutting in her face was the first clue she'd been just a tad bit optimistic. But that hadn't made her any less determined. She was a Robbins. She played to win. Go big or go home, that's what her father always said, and boy, had she gone big.

Why hadn't she even considered this possibility she asked herself. Because she hadn't. Not once. Not after finding her girlfriend living at Mark's, not after the ease of which she'd managed to buy out their sub-letters. She had just missed Calliope so much that the very thought she wasn't being equally missed hadn't occurred. Fine, fine chalk up arrogant to her ever expanding list of faults. But Mark? Really? She wasn't quite sure when it had happened but somewhere she had found a tacit acceptance of the bond Calliope shared with...him. The ever present fear of not being quite enough to fully satisfy the woman she adored had disappeared without her even realizing. Until now, as it all came surging back with a force that left her breathless. Tears threatened to spill at any moment as she stared into the eyes of her girlfriend, ex-girlfriend? completely unsure for the first time since her return.

"Are you...are you together now?" Arizona finally managed to ask. "Was this all some great big joke to you? Have you both been la...laughing at me this whole time? Has it always been him and I was just too stupidly in love with you to notice?" Now that she'd started, the words continued to tumble out, one after another, and Arizona, lost in her own pain and misery failed to see Callie's expression turn from mildly belligerent and pained, to bemused as Arizona crumbled in a puddle of her own neuroses.

In the past when Arizona got to rambling like this Callie would grab her by the arms and kiss her to snap her out of it. She'd always found it kind of cute in an adorkable fashion. But that sure as hell wasn't happening here. They hadn't so much as brushed hands since Arizona's return and Callie wasn't ready for contact.

"Arizona," she finally interrupted. When that got no response, she put some muscle into it. "Arizona stop. Please. Just stop." Her words seemed to finally penetrate and Arizona stopped talking, but the tears that she'd so studiously kept in check were flowing freely even as she refused to meet Callie's gaze. Seeing no choice in the matter Callie finally hit the emergency stop button to avoid the potential of onlookers and took the few steps that separated them, gingerly placing one hand on Arizona's upper arm and the other underneath her chin, tilting it up to meet her gaze.

"I'm not with Mark. I've never been with Mark, not in the way you mean." Callie forced herself to hold Arizona's gaze, even as her own eyes welled over. Damn hormones. Where was the anger when she needed it? It was just...she'd seen that exact expression in her own mirror. She'd never thought to be its cause, however unintentionally.

"You're having his baby," Arizona replied as another tear fell.

Callie managed a self-deprecating smile through her own tears, "We're friends...and I guess I'm gonna be his baby mama…but that's all. He's…he's in love with Lexie."

"And you?" Arizona asked.

Callie unceremoniously dropped Arizona's arm and took a step back, defensively crossing her arms over her chest. She really wished Arizona hadn't asked that question. She'd let anger take her through the day until the idiot who managed to get run over by horses, horses! in Seattle, coupled with Arizona's relentless pursuit brought her to this moment of temporary insanity. There was no way...no way they could hurt this badly and survive. Was there?

What the hell. Dropping her arms back to her sides she shrugged "I...I must be a masochist because as much as I want to hate you I don't. I can't. And I...I'm terrified we've just lost our second chance."

Not exactly a declaration of unending love, but it seemed to be enough as Arizona nodded and took a deep, shaky breath. "It hurts. I know...I know I gave up my right...but it just hurts, you know?" The tears finally under control she scrunched up her nose, "I mean, geez did it have to be Mark?"

Callie let out a surprised snort of laughter. "It wasn't planned. None of it. It's just..." How to explain but not apologize? "I trusted you. Completely. I never thought...and then you were just gone. I felt..." she abruptly stopped herself. She couldn't go there yet, couldn't explain exactly how broken, how raw she'd been, so she sighed and said instead, "I knew that Mark at least couldn't hurt me."

Arizona nodded again, her brain apparently processing the information in a manner that had always baffled Callie. "So, what's next?" She finally asked.

"I guess I tell Mark."

"He doesn't already know?" Arizona asked, eyebrows lifted in surprise and with just a hint of snark that, as usual, went unnoticed.

Callie just shook her head. "No. It's just...I can't, I can't have an abortion. I know that might make the most sense..."

"To whom?" Arizona asked guilelessly making Callie snort.

"Uh, everyone? Mark's finally back with Lexie. Sure, he wants kids, but this? And you...you came back, but I know how you feel about..."

"This isn't about Mark or Lexie or even me," Arizona interrupted. "This is about you...how do you feel?"

Callie allowed herself to meet Arizona's eyes again and sighed. "This isn't how I planned my life. Yeah I'm the woman with the aching womb, I know. But since the shooting the only person I saw this happening with was you...and when Africa came up it just didn't seem likely to happen."

"And now?"

"It's a baby. Arizona, I'm, I'm having a baby." Callie gave a choked laugh and then the most beautiful smile Arizona had ever seen lit up her face and her heart skipped as she caught herself smiling in return. God she'd missed that smile.

"I love you," she said simply because she couldn't not say it.

"Really?" Callie asked. "Even though my life is..."

"I...I thought I could come back and everything would be the same. I'd get you back and my job back and we'd just be back, like before."

Callie slowly shook her head, "Baby or no baby it was never going to be like before."

"I think I realized that after you told me to go back to Malawi," Arizona joked and got a small smile from Callie.

"Calliope, I..."

"No."

"No?"

"Not forever no, just not right now no. You need to give that great big brain of yours some time to process."

"Calliope, I don't..."

"Arizona, it's a baby. There are no give backs. And...I need you to be sure. I don't think...I can't handle losing you again. I just can't. So I need you to be sure, okay?"

Arizona thought she understood. "You're right. It is a lot to take in and...I can screw up my own life, and yours obviously, but a baby, I can't..."

"I'm not worried about you screwing up a kid," Callie interrupted. "I think that's what parents do. They screw us up and we eventually learn how to fix ourselves. Or we don't. I just...I know this wasn't exactly part of your plan. So take some time...and be sure okay?"

Arizona closed her eyes and let out a deep sigh before opening them back up and smiling at Callie. "Okay."

"Okay then." Callie offered a tentative smile back as she released the elevator, setting it back on course and this time, when the doors opened the occupants were allowed to depart.