Just something I came up with listening to the song Long Gone and Moved On by The Script. It's written from Quinn, Rachel's, and Finn's perspectives.
As always I own nothing, please don't sue me. No copyright infringement intended.
Read and Review. Enjoy.
Long Gone and Moved On
We're sitting in the gym for the pep rally, I watch as the Cheerio's my former team mates preform. Looking over at the large boy next to me I notice he's not watching the cheerleaders, his focus as usual, is on the tiny brunette seated several sections over from us.
"You still love her don't you?" I ask him, seriously.
"No." he shakes his head but his eyes never leave her.
"It's okay if you do."
"No Quinn, I'm with you now." He looks quickly at me before his eyes seek her out yet again.
"I see it, I always have. I'm the girl everyone expects you to be with, but she's the one you want to be with. Can you honestly say you feel anything for me other than friendship?" I ask, his big shoulders slump slightly. "Finn does you're heart skip a beat when you look at me, when you hold my hand, or when you kiss me?" His eyes slip closed, and I can tell he knows where this conversation is going.
"Because I don't. I don't feel it Finn and I want too. I want someone to look at me the way you look at her."
"What are you saying Quinn?" he asks quietly.
"I'm saying this isn't working between us, we never should have gotten back together. I thought maybe if we dated again we'd be able to get back what we once had but look at us we're both miserable." I look up and see Santana run over and happily embrace Sam. For a while I thought he really cared about me, about us, but when I quit the Cheerio's he dumped me. I guess being popular is important to him like it used to be to me. "I thought being popular was important, but it's nothing if you're not happy. I want to be happy Finn, and I want you to be happy too."
"So this is it huh?" he asks sadly.
"It is. You should talk to her. Hasn't it been long enough?" I ask. "Stop punishing her."
"She cheated Quinn."
"So did I, and you were able to forgive me. Besides isn't what I did worse?"
"You didn't cheat to hurt me." He says, anger flashing in his eyes.
"Didn't I? Puck may have gotten me drunk but I wan't drunk enough to not know what I was doing. Our motivation may have been different, but our intentions weren't so far apart."
"What are you saying Quinn, that you slept with Puck to hurt me?"
"Not consciously, but in a way yes. I just wanted to feel what it was like to be wanted. Just like I see it now, I saw it back then. It wasn't your fault, I know you never wanted to hurt me. Think about it Finn." I say, grabbing my backpack and standing up to leave, not wanting to stay for the rest of the pep rally.
I watch as Quinn leaves, it hurts to see them together. I'm don't understand how he can forgive her for her mistakes, but he refuses to talk to me about mine. I feel him watching me, he does it a lot. He doesn't think I notice but I do, how could I not.
When we returned to school in the new year I tried to stay out of his way as much as possible, he told me he was screwed up and I wanted to give him the space he said he needed; but when the end of January came around and Coach Bieste and Mr. Schuester did the whole Glee Club and Football unity thing I thought he might talk to me again. After the game when I saw him talking to Quinn and then saw her kiss him I knew it was too late, I'd lost him.
Things went crazy for a while, Quinn ended up quitting the Cheerio's, then her and Sam broke up, and now her and Finn are together. I guess he wasn't as in love with me as he said he was, I guess he really did want the perky cheerleader type after all.
I feel the tears building up in my eyes, not wanting to cry in front of everyone again, I run from the gym. I run straight for the ladies room down the hall from the gym.
"Uh... Hi Quinn." I say as I come face to face with the blonde.
"Hey Rachel."
"So, umm... I'm just going to..." I stammer, pointing towards one of the stalls. Things are even more awkward than usual between us.
"I broke up with him." She says quietly, as I'm about to close the door behind me.
"Excuse me?" I say turning to look at her.
"Finn, I ended it. It wasn't working. He's still in love with you."
"I don't think so. He hasn't talked to me in weeks, months, he hasn't forgiven me. I doubt he ever will." I say sadly.
"He will, he forgave me, he'll forgive you. Just give him some more time."
"Why are you telling me this Quinn, it's not like we're friends or anything."
"No, we're not, but who knows maybe we can work on that." She says, smiling at me.
"I'd like that." I say, returning her smile.
Quinn heads to the door, "Well I'll see you." She says.
"Bye." I say as she slips out into the hall.
I collect myself in the mirror. I pull my lip gloss from my backpack and touch up my makeup. The bell rings and soon others are coming into the bathroom, I sling my backpack over my shoulder and head for my next class, thinking about what Quinn said.
I walk into the choir room alone and see Rachel talking quietly to Mercedes, Quinn is talking to Artie and Brittany. I'm not sure where to sit, so I choose a spot in the back and off to one side. Rachel turns and gives me a smile. I feel out of place, like I'm not sure where I belong.
I know that things are totally messed up, and I know that jumping back into something with Quinn didn't really solve any of the problems that were there to begin with. If I'm honest with myself it was easier to hide behind Quinn than deal with Rachel and my feelings for her.
Mr. Schuester comes in and starts talking.
"All right guys listen up we need to start thinking up our set list for regionals."
"Umm... Mr. Schue I think I have a song." I say raising my hand before I realize it.
"Alright Finn, let's hear it." He says.
I stand and go talk to Brad quickly so he can find the right sheet music. After a couple of minutes he nods that he and the band are ready to start. I start to sing, pouring my heart into the song, my eyes fixed on Rachel.
When's the day you start again
And when the hell does you'll get over it begin
I'm looking hard in the mirror
But I don't fit my skin
It's too much to take
It's too hard to break me
From the cell I'm in
Oh from this moment on
I'm changing the way I feel yeah
From this moment on
It's time to get a real
Cause I still don't know how to act
Don't know what to say
Still wear the scars like it was yesterday
But you're long gone and moved on
Cause you're long gone
But I still don't know where to start, still finding my way
Still talk about you like it was yesterday
But you're long gone and moved on
But you're long gone, you moved on
So how'd you pick the pieces up yeah
I'm barely used to saying me instead of us
The elephant in the room keeps scaring off the guests
It gets under my skin to see you with him
And its not me that you're with
Oh from this moment on
I'm changing the way I feel yeah
From this moment on
It's time to get a real
Cause I still don't know how to act
Don't know what to say
Still wear the scars like it was yesterday
But you're long gone and moved on
Cause you're long gone
But I still don't know where to start, still finding my way
Still talk about you like it was yesterday
But you're long gone and moved on
But you're long gone, you moved on
No I can't keep thinking that you're coming back
No
Cause I got no business knowing where you're at
No
And its gonna be hard yeah
Cause I have to wanna heal yeah
And its gonna be hard yeah
The way I feel that I have to get real
I still don't know how to act
Don't know what to say
Still wear the scars like it was yesterday
But you're long gone and moved on
But you're long gone
But I still don't know where to start, still finding my way
Still talk about you like it was yesterday
But you're long gone and moved on
But you're long gone, you moved on
But you're long gone, you moved on
eh eh, oh oh
eh eh, oh oh
But you're long gone, you moved on ...
I just stand there hoping for some kind of reaction, a few people cheer and clap, Quinn looks at me sadly, finally seeing how much pain I'm still in. Rachel just looks at her feet, she's unable to look at me.
"Well that was very good Finn." Mr. Schue says clasping my shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze before he pushes me in the direction of my seat.
A few others make some suggestions, there is some discussion and before I know it the hour is up and it's time to go home. I shuffle to my locker to find the books I need, not that I actually plan on doing any homework tonight, it's just been a crappy day why make it worse.
I hear her clear her throat behind me, and take a second to think what I want to say before I turn to look at her.
"I never did." She says simply, when I do face her.
"What?" I asks, not expecting her words.
"Move on. I just wanted to let you know it's not too late."
"Uh... okay." I say unsure of what else to say.
"Well I gotta go, my Dad's are expecting me. Bye Finn."
"Oh, okay. Bye Rach." I say offering her a crooked smile.
"What's wrong Sweet-pea?" My Daddy asks, as I push my tofu stir-fry around my plate.
"Finn." I say quietly.
"What about Finn, Honey is he still not talking to you?" My Dad asks.
"No, I think he's talking to me again. I don't know he's just so confusing. Quinn broke up with him today." I say, they know all about him going out with Quinn again, they were there to pick up the pieces of my shattered heart.
"How do you know this?" Daddy asks.
"Quinn told me. She said he still loves me, but if he does why can't he forgive me for what happened last year."
"Maybe he just needs more time, you have to remember his heart was damaged when you got him."
"I know, but I don't understand why he can forgive Quinn and not me. She had a baby with Noah, I just kissed him."
"Honey, what you did was wrong, and so was what Quinn did, but I think Finn loved you more than he ever did her. It's so much harder forgive the people we love when they do something that lets us down, it's like we expect better from them. We forget that they're not perfect and it hurts that much more when we're reminded of that."
"I know, I just... I miss him so much and not just as my boyfriend. He was my friend before we ever started dating and not having him, my life feels kind of empty." I say as the doorbell rings.
My Daddy goes to answer it, and comes back a couple of minutes later with a soft smile on his face.
"There's someone here to see you Sweet-pea." He says, "Don't be too hard on him, he looks like he's had a rough time."
I excuse myself from the table and walk to the front entrance to see him standing there his hands in his pockets, his shoulders slumped. Even looking so defeated, he's still devastatingly handsome, and my heart skips a beat in my chest.
"Finn?"
"Hey. Can we talk?" he asks.
"Yeah, sure. Just let me get my coat, we can talk on the porch." I say. I run back to the kitchen to grab my jacket and tell my Dad's I'll be out on the porch.
I return to him, opening the front door he places his hand in the small of my back and guides me outside, always the gentleman even if he doesn't realize he's doing it.
"So, what did you want to say?" I can't help the edge that's in my voice, I'm not sure I can handle him breaking my heart again.
I pace across her front porch while she sits on the bench waiting for me to talk. Her eyes just follow me, as I move back and forth.
"I'm sorry." I say quickly.
"You're sorry? Finn what do you have to be sorry for?" she says, but I can see from her eyes that she thinks I do have a few things to apologize for.
"I'm sorry I stopped talking to you. I'm sorry for not telling you about Santana, it was wrong for me to keep that from you for so long, I only did it because I didn't want to hurt you."
"But you did, I was disappointed I wouldn't be your first. I was angry that you didn't understand why it hurt so much knowing you're first time was with her, with someone who you didn't love, and has no respect for love and relationships. I don't know why I did what I did, Noah came to me and offered me a shoulder to cry on. I guess I took it too far, I thought it would make us even if I did something with someone I didn't love." She says calmly, her voice small and sad.
"I miss you." I say, sitting next to her.
"I miss you too Finn, both as my friend and as my boyfriend."
"Quinn dumped me." I tell her.
She laughs a little at that, "I know, Quinn told me." She looks up into my surprised eyes, I didn't know she knew.
"Oh, I think I needed to go back to her to get closure on our past."
"I see." She says looking away from me.
"I don't love her, at least not like I love you." I tell her honestly. "I think I'm ready to forgive you, I think I have been for a while, I was just scared and it was easy to hide behind Quinn."
"So what now Finn?" she asks.
"I'm not saying I'm ready for us to get back together, I think we have too many problems that we need to fix first, but I want us to be friends. I want us to work on fixing what's wrong and maybe one day soon we can be together again."
"I'd like that, I still love you Finn but I agree there are things we need to work on before I'd get back together with you."
"So friends, for now?" I ask.
"Friends." She says smiling up at me. She stands and walks to the door. "I need to get back to dinner and I still have homework to finish up tonight. It was nice talking to you Finn, I'll see you at school tomorrow." She says.
"Night Rachel." I say still sitting on the bench. I want to go over to her, hug her to me. I want to breath in her scent, but I know if I do I'll have to kiss her and we're not ready for that. She slips inside, leaving me alone on her front porch, in the dark with my thoughts.