Stressed

She was extremely tense. Not even her favourite holonovels, actual books or even her favourite relaxation activity: a bath helped which puzzled her extremely. Nothing could relax her and she wasn't sure why. She had even seen the Doctor for a hypospray and that didn't work. Okay so she had been working long hours to get the work done, but that was nothing new. However, what was new was the fact she could not seem to 'switch off' both mentally and physically when she was off duty. She wasn't even going to blame the coffee as she had actually cut down to three big cups a day secretly so she could talk with her spirit guide after her shifts. She knew she had to be ready 24/7 as they were the only Starfleet ship in the Delta Quadrant and the buck stopped with her, not even considering all of the crises that came with first contact, supplies and ship maintenance. Chakotay had tried to talk to her, but she refused to acknowledge anything was wrong as per usual and was trying to avoid him, as she could never lie to him successfully. She needed to figure out a solution on her own and unfortunately he was part of the bigger problem. She was so aware of him and his moods, she treasured his smiles, his facial expressions, his dimples, his tattoo, those deep chocolate brown eyes looking at her and making her feel like the only special woman in the world. Chakotay unknowingly had that power over her. Of course, it didn't help that she loved him with a passion unfelt before and that she depended on him and his soothing presence so much-it was so hard keeping thoughts and desires of him at bay all the time- but Tuvok's Vulcan presence unknowingly helped, but he couldn't be with her all the time. Chakotay was strictly out of bounds, he was too dangerous- it would be all or nothing with that relationship; something she had never experienced before and her deep feelings for her First Officer scared her.

The crew knew something was wrong, as she was spending more time in her ready room than was necessary, but this was mainly because Kathryn did not want to have to keep acting the larger than life captain all the time. But she still went round the crew, making sure they were okay, or if anyone had a bad day, she would try to cheer them up. This worked for the majority of the crew; the simple pleasure of knowing that your Captain personally cared about you was motivation enough. But it didn't fool any of her senior staff including Seven who all knew Janeway better. She tried to avoid speaking to her senior staff on a personal level as much as possible, whilst still showing her compassion and trust in them. Everyone knew that her door was always open if they had a problem, but she had joked that they were playing with fire if she had not drunk any coffee, but she did not actively seek out company. The only time she socialised was to get food from the Mess Hall and even then it was simply either eat whilst working with a PADD, or get what Tom called a 'take out' and eat in her quarters. Naomi was probably the one on Voyager who still made the Captain genuinely smile, but even she knew the Captain wasn't quite her normal self.

Chakotay was very concerned about Kathryn, this was worse than the Void depression she suffered a few years ago- so he went to the only other person who could deal to the Captain: The Doctor. It helped that the EMH had power over the Captain in terms of medical grounds and therefore the Captain was more likely to obey. The Doctor agreed that enough was enough and thanks to a conversation with a certain pregnant half Klingon and a human chief medic, he had had an Doctor visited her in her Ready Room the next day two hours after her duty shift finished. As usual she was reading reports, but something was amiss and he could not put his finger on it. "Captain, the crew has noticed that you seem unusually distant and would like to have 'you' back. Tom Paris has designed a new holo-program, which apparently B'Elanna swears relaxes her. I have to say despite the pregnancy she does seem calmer as a result medically speaking. You however need to unwind and obviously my treatments aren't working and you refuse to talk to someone." The Doctor acknowledged, as another part of his mind tried to work out what was missing."Thank the crew for their concern, but I'm fine. I have been trying to get on top of the reports for a change, and as you can see I have only two more reports to go. Once they are done I will be more than happy to relax." But the standard excuse and compromise was not going to work this time."Well Captain, I'm glad you are nearly up to date with your report reading, but you do need to relax urgently and two reports can wait for the two hours you're going to be spending in the holodeck on medical reasons. You're like a tense string, if you are not careful you will snap, and we need our Captain and friend in many ways. This is my recommendation for treatment besides the usual and futile 'cut down on coffee' advice I give and I can use the 'I relive you of duty' technique that also works." Janeway sighed; she knew he was right but she didn't have to like it. But she was secretly pleased too- the Doctor hadn't noticed that she did not have any coffee cups around and he was a very observant person."Okay Doctor you win, I have to admit I am intrigued by a program that calms B'Elanna down so much." Janeway admitted. However, she wanted the author's permission first…

She called Tom Paris into her Ready Room to join them "Tom, the Doctor has been praising your latest program to relax B'Elanna…" She began before the Doctor added hastily, "Mr. Paris I recommended your program as a treatment to the Captain as she needs to unwind-this is confidential of course. I hope you don't mind." While the Doctor was distracted she quickly sneaked the two PADDs in her jacket pocket. She was damned that she could not finish these two reports today.

His chief medic didn't mind at all- it was good that the Captain was interested; she had lost that sparkle in her eyes, and interest in the social activities of the crew. She worked too hard and often ignored her own needs for the needs of the crew- the crew realised she was human and wanted her to become Kathryn again. He eagerly outlined the program and its benefits. His eyes lit up in enthusiasm, something Janeway failed to miss. He was so eager to please her, she noticed and hated to let her down. However his sharp eyes immediately recognised that Kathryn Janeway had had no coffee nearby. In fact he couldn't smell the usual coffee smell that permeated the ready room. However he knew better than to directly question her; but he would share this information with the Doctor and Commander Chakotay later, maybe it would mean something to them, it could also be the cause of her stress his medic's brain argued.

"Yes, sometimes B'E wants to talk or vent frustrations out to someone she doesn't know, so we designed the program. What is also good is that you can talk to your own personal beauty technician there as an unofficial counsellor- if you wish. You tell the computer to create a new beauty technician based on the template. It's also up to you if you want them to remember your session- it won't impact on anyone else as you save it yourself. It works miracles- she is a lot calmer now and for her that's saying something! I have less injuries now- please don't tell her I said that or she'll kill me." Tom quickly added a tiny bit worried, as pregnant Klingons were more prone to shorter tempers.

He was glad that his tired Captain smiled in bemusement, she needed to do that more often; she had a lovely smile and he for one had missed it. When it was at full force with her blue eyes looking at you, it made you feel that you could do anything, feel special and that the Captain cared about you and no one else mattered. He enjoyed making her smile, and would do anything for her- she inspired all of the crew like that. "Why don't you use it Captain? If it does wonders for pregnant half Klingons, think what it would do for fantastic, human Captains?" He slightly exaggerated the word 'human'.

Her smile became a lop sided grin "Nice save Tom, for a moment there I thought you were insulting me. What's it called?""Paris-Torres Spa 01" He replied, smiling "I wouldn't dare insult you Captain- unless we're playing pool." He had missed their banter during pool too.

She chuckled, "Thanks Tom, I will definitely give it a go. As to the pool, I think you mean when I play pool- you just stand there. Dismissed."

Chakotay was sitting in his chair and turned his head as the Ready Room doors swished open. He saw Tom smiling broadly as he exited the Ready Room, followed by the Doctor and the Captain, who looked a bit more cheerful "I'll see you tomorrow, Commander." She said, smiling "I've been ordered to the holodeck." She tilted her head towards the Doctor. He understood and smiled back. "Enjoy Captain." He still showed unity in front of the crew, but he really wanted to talk to her in private.

When both the Doctor and she had exited the Bridge via the turbo-lift, he walked over to Paris and quietly asked about the program. Paris told him what he told the Captain. "Maybe you should use it Commander, they do great massages- I can personally recommend them. By the way Chakotay, did you know the Captain has not drunk any coffee today? I could not smell any coffee in her ready room, or see any, I was going to tell the Doc as well as its very unusual- coffee and Captain Janeway are virtually inseparable. I don't think the Doctor noticed or the Captain would still be in for questioning" He finished. Chakotay smiled at Paris' lame attempt at humour and replied that he would think about it and returned to his seat, waiting until the end of his shift, which was in half an hour's time.

As it was quiet, he used this time to plan a way to find out what was wrong with his Captain, including the sudden change in her coffee habits. He found out that Kathryn had not drunk any more than 3 cups of coffee a day for over three weeks. He then quietly asked Paris a couple of details about his spa program stressing that he wanted to find out what was wrong with Janeway- "Once we know what's wrong, we can do something about it." He concluded.

Paris was semi-convinced by Chakotay's reasons which okay were valid as Chakotay was the Captain's best friend and he could always cheer her up, but he knew Chakotay still loved the Captain so he wasn't 100% convinced by Chakotay's motives. However, if Janeway ever found out about what he told Chakotay, his life would not be worth living even with a new baby on the way… Tom felt a shudder go down his spine- he was caught in a difficult situation. However, Tom didn't let the Commander know that, and pretended to be totally convinced by Chakotay's argument "Sure Commander, the Captain is the soul of Voyager and her crew." He said sincerely. Chakotay was surprised by Tom's philosophical statement as it contained no hint of sarcasm or mockery but it was the simple truth- if anyone could get them home the uniqueness that was Captain Kathryn Janeway could.