Disclaimer: I do not own dgrayman.
New fic, new story line, new one-shot format for me… might be sucky, cos it's my 1st time writing this story line. Makes no sense, doesn't it?
And to Kazuki-kun is an A and an A, sure! Sorry to those out there that have been waiting for my new fic for Break my heart, cos now I have this HUGE writer's block cos I just have to finish typing out this one-shot before I start on Break my heart again… plud I have this huge exam coming.
Gomenasai!
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No one knew what Allen Walker did behind his closed door. He was always stuffing himself with any food, ranging from Japanese food to Chinese food. One could practically predict what he was going to have for breakfast.
But what nobody knew was that Allen was bulimic. Each time he gorged himself with food, he puked it all out. It was a raging personal war between himself and the perfectionist side of him. Puking all the food he had eaten was the control over his life, the drug of his choice. No matter how much he'd gorge himself, he could just induce himself to get it all out. Eating was as addictive as a drug to him. Lenalee was the only one who noticed the sadness in his eyes, the misery he had locked within his mangled heart of his. She hated how he bottled the pain up in him.
On the fateful day, Allen was gorging himself with food in the canteen, again. Lenalee sat beside him, gazing at the white-headed teen, longing to touch his long, slender fingers. The many times she heard him make nauseous sounds when he ate made her worried.
"Allen-kun? Are you alright?" she asked. Allen only replied with a nod. He felt like puking. Holding make a muffled choke, he dumped his food away and dashed to his room.
Sitting at the edge of his bed, Allen gazed miserably at the traces of food binge in his dark room. He felt listless and lethargic. It seemed as if he was spiraling down the path of self-destruction. But he didn't notice that himself. He wanted to be perfect, and it was difficult.
The sour taste lingered at the back of his mouth, and he walked towards the toilet, kneeled in front of the toilet bowl and stuck to fingers down his throbbing throat. Feeling nausea wash over him, he vomited everything out, tears trickling down his cheeks. He felt terrible, but convinced himself that it was for his own good.
The empty pit at the end of his stomach churned. More tears fell as he washed his mouth. Turning around, he came face-to-face with Lenalee. She stood there, rooted to the ground, tears coursing down her pink cheeks. Allen swallowed. "Lenalee…"
Her teal bangs covered her eyes, so he couldn't see them. After an eternity, she looked up. The front of her shoulder-length hair was drenched with tears, and anger was in her eyes. She looked furious enough to kill someone.
"Allen-kun… you IDIOT!" she shrieked. "You're torturing yourself!" She raised her hand, and slapped him hard on the cheek. It sent him reeling. "Who says you're not perfect?!"
"How… how did you know?" Allen gaped. "I read your diary." She said softly. "I always asked you how you felt, were you ok. You always smiled!" Lenalee cried. "Don't you know we care?"
Her words took Allen aback. Never did you know that Lenalee could be as scary as her brother, Komui. No wonder people said that Lenalee was like her brother.
"We like you the way you are, Allen! No matter whether you're the 14th Noah, an Exorcist, a perfectionist, or a normal human!" her voice was shrill. Allen felt the guilt in him evaporate suddenly. Lenalee was right. The sour taste he tasted disappeared. Lenalee stared into his eyes; she was just inches away from him. The emotions that swirled in her eyes shocked him.
"I love you, Allen-kun, you heard that? I LOVE YOU!" She said, before collapsing onto the floor. Allen choked, momentarily stunned by Lenalee's outburst. Stress left him. He squatted down beside her, a smile playing on his flawless lips. Gently, he lifted her chin, and made her look into his crystal-clear gray eyes.
"Thank you, Lenalee." He whispered, bringing his face closer to hers. She held back her breath. "I love you too." Those magic words made her stop crying. Lenalee wrapped her arms around Allen, and breathed in the scent of his cloak.
That was the real Allen that she had always admired and loved.