by Millia
Summary: Lily makes observations, is in denial, and comes to a conclusion. Rather pointless fluff.
Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns Harry Potter
I am not JK Rowling
Ergo, I do not own Harry Potter
***
Something had changed. It wasn't even that obvious, but she saw it in the subtle differences--the way he walked, and smiled, and even played Quidditch. Not that she was watching him or anything, she simply glanced about and he got in the way of her glancing...
Lily groaned and attempted to refocus her eyes on a particularly nasty Transfiguration essay. Concentrate, Evans! She was certain that she was a hopeless case, but she was also determined to some how struggle through with at least an Acceptable on the Transfiguration NEWT.
He hadn't even asked her out this year; that had been, in itself, a pleasant surprise. After nearly having a heart attack learning he was Head Boy, she then began to fear the insinuations that might arise from having to work closely with him. However, he had been a perfect gentleman. Lily hated this. Er... because she wasn't prepared for it, that is to say.
Focus, Evans, focus!
It was always hard to study in the common room, but Lily had found herself staying there recently, night after night, instead of the library where she usually found herself trying to fill three feet of parchment with huge handwriting twice its normal size. It was hard studying because of the laughter caused by a certain group of seventh year Gryffindors. Unfortunately, Lily no longer found this quite as annoying as she might once have. Something really had changed.
Despite everything, Lily looked up yet again--or, rather, glanced. He was smiling at something one of them had said, and it was the smile that Lily loved to see. It wasn't the arrogant, cocky one he used to always grin at her; it was the one that she only used to see from afar. Lately he had been smiling it at her every once in a while, as a perfect gentleman, and she hated him so much for it.
They were up to something, but then again, when weren't they? Despite all the subtle changes that she had noticed--not just in Potter, but in all of them--they were still who they were. She was somewhat reassured that nothing had changed too much.
"I'm going to bed," her roommate, Kate, said, and Lily vaguely nodded. Kate, seeing the object of Lily's gaze, smiled to herself, shook her head, and went upstairs to the dormitory.
Every once in a while, one of the boys would give surreptitious glances around the common room, and her eyes would fly back to her paper, cheeks flushing, praying they hadn't noticed. She wasn't blushing, of course, she just didn't want Potter to get the wrong idea.
But he's stopped asking you out, remember?
Yeah, but it's not like I don't catch him staring at me sometimes.
Now who's the arrogant one?
Dammit. It was already ten and she barely had a foot of the bloody essay done.
Suddenly a shadow stretch itself lazily across her parchment and she glanced up, only to find a pair of bespectacled hazel eyes looking at her questioningly.
"Yes?" she tried for her most casual, you-just-interrupted-my-absorbing-Transfiguration-essay-writing tone.
"I was just wondering if you had finished the patrols for the prefects? You told me to ask for them later today."
She squashed a disturbing feeling of dismay at his words, simply nodding and reaching into her bag. Meanwhile, he was looking at her essay.
"Are you certain your writing is big enough? I mean, I know McGonagall wears glasses and all, but she might have difficulty with this miniscule writing of yours..."
She scowled. Had she just thought that he had a nice smile? The lazy one he gave her now was one she would very much liked to slap.
"Very funny," she thrust the paper at him. "I would be able to get more done if you and your friends would stop laughing and plotting and looking about suspiciously. It's distracting."
"Is it? Have you been watching us?" He raised an eyebrow, and that annoying smile remained.
She mentally cursed herself. "No," she said tartly.
Ah, great comeback. Can't wait to see what's next.
He just snorted and left, and she was again disturbed to feel regret.
***
Lily collapsed in a chair at the library, laid her head down, and then began to beat it repeatedly on the table.
"You look like my house-elf when she loses a sock in the wash," a voice commented, before a hand grabbed her head and lifted it up, preventing any further masochistic torture. "I suppose this has to do with the Transfiguration test we just finished?"
Lily found herself looking once again into the eyes of James Potter, which now appeared to be torn between amusement and concern.
She groaned and, once her head had been released, buried it into her hands.
"Mphfdanagh," she replied.
"I see," he said seriously, sitting across from her. "Well..." he said slowly, "I suppose I could... help you, if you'd like."
She peered at him from between cracked fingers. He actually looked... nervous. She slowly lowered her hands, and cleared her throat--somewhat nervously, too, she noticed.
"That would be... lovely. Thank you."
He smiled at her, that one that she loved, and Lily was glad that she was sitting down.
***
They were in the library again, reviewing the notes from McGonagall's last lesson.
"So, do you understand now?"
"Uhh..." Lily said blankly, realizing that she had completely missed everything he had just said for the last minute, as she had been studying the way his hair stuck up in every direction.
He frowned at her. "You haven't been listening!"
She could feel a blush rising. Dammit! "No, I have, really, I just... was thinking about something else."
Raising an eyebrow, he leaned back in his chair and looked at her. She tried not to squirm under his gaze.
"Thinking. About what?"
Lily opened her mouth, and before she could think or, indeed, take a vow of silence enforced by a charm from her wand to prevent her from ever saying anything so stupid again, she heard herself say, "You've changed."
He blinked. "Um... thanks?"
She was definitely blushing.
"I mean, not that it's bad, but... you know, you're Head Boy and all and it's not as if anyone ever thought even remotely it would be you, I mean, yeah, you were before Snape or Black, but, you know, that's not saying much, and I don't know... something has changed. I mean... you've changed... that is to say... Why don't you ever ask me out anymore?" She seriously considered self-imposed exile in the Ukraine at that exact moment.
He was staring at her, mouth slightly agape during the whole tirade.
"Er--I'd better go," she said, and rushed out of the library without even bothering to grab her textbook and notes.
***
She avoided James Potter like the plague for about a week, borrowing Kate's text and notes rather than humiliating herself further by facing him. She even managed to shirk a few Head duties, begging a Gryffindor sixth-year prefect to do them for her. She was, however, a bit angry that the girl quite willingly agreed to it once Lily mentioned she'd have to work with Potter.
"How long are you going to keep this up?" Kate asked her one morning at breakfast in the Great Hall.
"Keep what up?" Lily replied, distracted by the incomprehensible Transfiguration notes she was attempting to study before class.
"Avoiding James. So, yeah, you said you were utterly humiliated, but really, how many times has he been humiliated around you before?"
Lily frowned at looked at her friend. "Uhh..."
"Exactly--no one has any idea. Therefore, one small humiliation should not cause our Head Girl to go into hiding from our Head Boy."
"Kate," she groaned, "I practically begged him to ask me out!"
"Well, it's not as if you don't fancy him, now that he's actually matured."
She stared at her, mouth surely reaching the floor.
Fancy?
Oh, bloody hell! I fancy James Potter?
***
Lily collapsed onto an armchair and hurled her notes violently in the air; unfortunately, they simply traveled less than a foot before drifting gently downward to land at her feet. She settled for glaring at them.
"Er--I, um, have something for you, or, rather, you kind of left these in the library."
It was the last person she wanted to see at the moment.
She knew she was blushing. She hated herself.
"Thanks..."
But instead of giving her the stuff and leaving like a decent, kind person would do when seeing a teenage girl in such humiliation and suffering, James squatted beside her chair, resting his arms across his knees and studying her intently through his glasses.
"Lily?"
She gave a strangled sound that he seemed to take as a "Yes?"
"Did you... mean what you said the other day?"
She just stared at him for several minutes. He stared back, and after several minutes of silence she dropped her eyes, fidgeting with the sleeve of her robes.
"Yes," she said quietly. She looked up, as he didn't reply, and felt that this needed to be expanded. "I mean, you have changed. And..." she took a deep breath "I like the change, I guess. What I mean is... um... would you like to go to Hogsmeade with me some time?"
For the longest time, he simply looked at her, and she really did want to go to the Ukraine, dig a hole, and die in absolute misery and mortification. Then he smiled, and it was the smile that Lily loved. She smiled back.
A/N: Short, and utterly pointless. What can I say, I'm a big LJ fan. Reviews are always appreciated!