Coming Clean. Off the Long, Long Trail.

This was inspired by the ATC to the Long Long Trail written by Singerme and describes this writers view of what might have happened when Matt told Kitty about Sara Drew. (Note: It does not follow Singerme's version of events exactly)

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"Did you love her?" Doc had asked in his usual blunt style, after hearing everything Matt had to say.

Matt blinked and sat back, furiously examining his feelings for the first real time. Finally, looking up at Doc, he shook his head. "No," he stated simply. "I was attracted to her. I liked her. I was grateful for what she did for me and extremely sad that she died to save my life. But no, I didn't love her, Doc."

Shaking his head, swiping his mustache, he looked Matt in the eye. "Then, Matt, my advice to you is to go clean yourself up, get some sleep. You're gonna need all your strength and wits about you. Then talk to her."

Matt frowned. "What?"

"That's right, go talk to Kitty. Tell her everything. Tell her just what you just told me. Matt, I want you to listen to me, and really listen to me. There's no way, no way, you can not talk to Kitty and tell her what happened. Matt, Kitty can read you like a book. It will sit and fester between you. As a matter of fact, I'll bet my career as a doctor she already knows there is something. Maybe she doesn't know just what, but she knows something."

Quickly, and reluctantly, Matt looked at Doc. "Ah, Doc, I'd be out of my mind to tell Kitty that I felt, or had fee… Well, you know what I mean. You know Kitty's temper."

Tugging his ear, "Yes, yes I do and what do you think is going to be her reaction if she finds out or figures it out another way? What do you think that temper will be like then? Matt, she needs, no, she deserves to hear this from you."

Giving some thought to what Doc had said, Matt went to the bathhouse, cleaned up, then went to the Dodge House to catch a few hours sleep.

Doc sat at his desk reading through one of his journals when he heard footsteps coming up the stairs, then a light tap as the door opened and Kitty was standing there with a solemn look on her face. "Curly, got a minute?"

Putting down the book, "Sure, honey, for you, always. Something on your mind?"

Lowering her eyes, then her head, "I think you know there is."

Patting the chair next to him, "Come, sit, tell me what's bothering you, honey."

"Curly, I think Matt is avoiding me. Something's wrong. Curly, I have this feeling…" now rubbing her hand across her stomach, "like a knot. Damn it, Curly. I know him like a book. Something happened out there and he doesn't want me to know about it."

"Now, honey, he was injured..."

"Oh, Curly, no. This is different. This is... I can't describe it."

Tugging his ear, "Well, Honey, don't you think you should be asking Matt?"

Now Doc wasn't facing her. Kitty sensed something. "Curly? What is it? You know something you're not telling me."

Still not facing her, "Maybe you should talk to Matt."

"DOCTOR ADAMS!" She reached for his arm, turning him, forcing him to face her. "Why won't you look at me?"

He placed both hands on her shoulders. "Honey, talk to Matt. Please?"

With very sad eyes, she kissed him on the cheek. "We'll talk later." And she left.

Matt lay tossing and turning, going over and over in his head what could he possibly say to Kitty to make her understand and yet not hurt her.

Finally he gave up on trying to sleep, got up and got dressed. As he crossed the street, heading for the Long Branch, he couldn't remember the last time he had such a knot in his stomach.

Placing both large hands on the top of the batwing doors, he stood scanning the room, but not seeing the one person he wanted to see yet.

As he pushed through, Sam smiled up at him. "Marshal. So glad to see you're back. Can I get you a beer?"

"It's good to be back, Sam. No thanks on the beer. Is Kitty…"

Before he could finish, "She's up in her room. She came in a while ago. She didn't look too good. Think maybe she's not feelin' too well, Marshal? Why, she barely said a word. She just went up the stairs and I heard the door slam shut."

"Thanks, Sam, I'll go check on her." He inhaled and headed towards the stairs, taking the stairs two at a time. Making his way across the landing, again just outside her door he inhaled. Then knocking, "Kitty, it's Matt. Can I come in?" First there was no answer. "Kit, it's me, Matt."

Then she answered. "It's open."

Slowly he opened the door, entering the room, looking around. Stood, still holding his Stetson in his hands, twirling it around.

Kitty stood with her back to him, looking out the window, facing Front Street.

"Kit, Honey? Ahhhh. I… I… Well… We…"

Without turning and in a stiff voice, "If there is something you're trying to say, Marshal, please just say it. I'm sure you're busy and I do have work to do,so…"

He was now remembering what Doc had said, "Matt, Kitty reads you like a book." Now in three large strides he was standing directly behind her. He reached out to touch her shoulder. "Kit, I think we need to talk."

Shrugging his hand away, now in a stiff tone, "Well I'm all ears, Marshal." Again he reached for her, but now she moved, looking at him with piercing eyes. "Drink?"

"Yeah sure." He said hoping that would relax the situation. "Kit, honey, would you sit and let me tell you what I have… want… Oh. Will you just let me say what I need to say?"

Handing him the glass, her shoulders squared, jaw tight, she didn't want to get close to him.

But he pulled her down by the hand. "Kit, please?"

She sat. Still stiff jawed. "Go on." She said.

He took a big swallow of the whiskey. "Kit, Honey, you remember Sara Drew wanted to go to Fort Wallace. Right?"

"Yes, of course I do. Her fiancé was a soldier there she was trying to meet up with him. Matt, I know all that."

"Well, I ended up taking her. And well, along the way she sort of took a likin' to…"

As he hesitated, Kitty's brow arched and her mouth tightened. "OHHHHHHH? And what about you, Marshal Dillon?" She quickly stood and walked back across the room.

Matt dropped his head in silence. "Well, Kit… I… I…"

Spinning around. "YOU WHAT?"

"Now, Kit, wait a minute."

"UGH, don't you 'wait a minute' me, Marshal Dillon!" He started to walk towards her, then she grabbed a vase off the side table and tossed it right for his head.

"Hey! Watch it! That almost hit me."

"GOOD! Maybe this one will." And she reached for another vase, flowers and all.

Now trying to stop her, grabbing for her arms. "Kitty, stop. Wait… Will you listen to me? Let me finish."

"OH NO. I am finished listening to you, Marshal. Get out! You hear me? I want you out of here, NOW!" And she tossed the side table. "You have your nerve, after everything we've been through? After you tell me If we're going to have a relationship, I have to accept that this was what it was going to have to be? Then you take this fancy young girl out there alone on the prairie and decide... UGH!"

Again finding something else to throw. "Did you fall in love, Marshal? Was she worthy of marrying? Let me guess, she was a proper lady. Matt Dillon, I never lied to you about where I come from or what I've done in my past and you know that when I came to Dodge I ended all that. But now I see… I see…" Between the anger and, now the hurt, the tears were filling in her eyes.

"WHOA!" He finally grabbed her arms to hold her still. "You just wait one minute. This has nothing to do with who you are or where you came from, or your past."

"The hell it doesn't." She screamed. "The first time you have the chance to be alone with your proper lady, good ol' Kitty's in the wind. Well, maybe good ol' Kitty will stay in the wind." Now tears were falling like a fountain.

"Kit, please. Yes, I had feelings for her, but I… I…"

Shaking her head, "GO! GO! GET OUT! NOW!" She was now tossing the whole room in anger. "How could you, Matt Dillon? How could you?"

"Kit, I don't want to leave you here."

"I SAID GET OUT!"

Matt slowly started to walk towards the door.

"Go to your prim and proper lady." And as he walked out the door Kitty collapsed on the bed, curled in a ball crying.

As he walked down the stairs, Matt looked at Sam, saying nothing, just nodding.

He headed across the alley to Doc's office. Slowly he went up the stairs, hanging his head as he entered the office.

Doc looked at him. "What in thunder happened to you? You look like you've been through. Before he could finish, they both stared at one another and in unison, "Hurricane Kitty!"

"Alright, Matt, what did you tell her?"

"Geesh, Doc, I barely got to tell her anything. Doc, she's mad."

Tugging his ear. "How mad?"

"Ohhhh, Doc. Real mad. She careened me a few times with flying objects."

"Matt, you'd think by now you'd learn to duck."

"Doc, she's fast." Doc snickered. "Doc, what can I do?"

Swiping his upper lip, "Well, for now, leave her be. Let her cool off. Matt, what did you tell her?"

"Well, just that Sara took a likin' to me."

Chucking, "Oh that was good."

"And that yes, I did have feelings for her but…"

Doc was now looking puzzled. "But what?"

"That's it. By then she was in full tantrum mode. She threw me out. Doc, she thinks I choose Sara over her because of her…"

"OH MATT! Son, I'm gonna say somethin' to you and I need you to listen to me. I've known you two kids a long time and I know how much you two love… You do still love Kitty?" Doc asked.

"Geesh, Doc. Yes. Of course I do. You know that."

"Well then you've got to go back and let her know that. Yes she's angry right now. But that young lady loves you and would move heaven and earth for you. And I don't think I need to…"

"NO, DOC. You don't need to tell me that. Doc, Kitty is my life. You know that what happened, or didn't happen, with Sara, well, that…"

"Hey you, big lug. Go tell Kitty. Don't sit here telling me. Go on, get."

"What? You throwing me out too?"

"Yeah, I'm gonna get me some supper."

Matt slowly made his way back over to the Long Branch. As he entered, Sam smiled and motioned to the upper level. Matt just nodded.

This time Matt, without stopping or knocking, opened the door and walked in. The room was a mess.

When Kitty heard the door open, she lifted her head. "What are you doing here? I told you to get out."

"Yeah, I know but now I'm back. We need to talk."

"I'm not talking to you, Marshal Dillon."

"That's good. Then just listen."

Now she was sitting up and huffed out a breath and both hands on her hips, "How dare you?"

"Kitty, you're gonna listen to me, if I have to hold you down all night."

"Matt Dillon, you wouldn't dare." She started to get up in anger but he quickly grabbed her, tossing her back on the bed, sitting across her as she struggled.

"Matt, get off me. Let me go."

"Kitty, stop fighting me and listen. Honey, please. What I tried to tell you before… Yes, I had some kind of feelings for Sara…"

Squirming under him, "Matt, I don't want to hear it."

"Well, you're gonna. Kitty, I didn't love her. I was just grateful to her."

Furrowing her brow, "Grateful?" She repeated.

"Yes. Sara saved my life out there. I was shot with an arrow. That's what happened here." Then he touched his shoulder. "Kit, Sara died saving my life."

"Sara's dead?" Kitty asked still a bit angry. "And if she hadn't died out there…?"

"AHHHH, Kitty Russell." He pinned her back to the bed, covering her mouth with his.

She tried fighting him, twisting and turning her head. "Matt Dillon, that's not gonna work."

"Kitty Russell, I love you." He scooped her up by her sides and propped her up on the pillows, kissing her again. This time he wouldn't stop until she stopped fighting him. Then as he lifted his head, "You are a lady to me. You always have been and always will be. Don't you ever accuse me of thinking anything different. Kit, I can't really explain what happened, but I never… ahhh, we never… This cowboy is and always will be yours." Kissing her again.

"Matt Dillon, you are incorrigible." Now softening her expression.

"If that means I love you and I'm forgiven…?"

Kitty just began laughing a full barrel laugh. "Oh, Cowboy, I'm sorry. And I do love you." She was now kissing his chin and teasingly kissing at his bottom lip, then at his neck. "Ummmmm."

"Well, now. It just might take a little convincing, Miss Russell."

"Oh, is that a fact, Cowboy?"

"Oh, yes, Ma'am. That is a fact."

"Well, I just have to see what I can do about that." Slowly she began pulling his shirt loose from his pants, rolling him onto his back, ridding him of his gun belt, boots and pants and discarding her own clothing.

She first starting massaging his back, leaning close, sliding her full breasts along the length of his back then sliding her warm tongue along his spine as she massaged his thighs. Gradually turning him, slowly gliding her full body up and along his now slightly aroused one. Gently kissing his eyes, nose, chin, running her tongue along his wet soft lips. Covering his mouth with her own, drawing him into a hot passionate kiss, sparking his arousal more. Breaking from the kiss, traveling down his hard muscular body, nibbling, kissing, licking, lingering when she reached the firm hot flesh in now full arousal. She held him in her hands, gently kissing, tasting, bringing him just to the point.

Now reaching, "Kit, honey, please. I… I…" Now pulling her up so that blue met blue, straddled across him, taking in his full girth. Together moving in a rhythm. Hot flesh to hot flesh. Two now became one. Passions ignited. They were now in their own world of intimacy. They were home!

FINI