Brandy - Have You Ever
Mercedes sat, hugging her knees to her chest tightly, as she silently rocked back and forth on the floor in the center of her room. She sat inside a small circle with her best friends Santana, Kurt, Quinn and Tina. The tears that had once flowed so effortlessly had finally come to a halt and now the only trace that remained were her puffy, red eyes and tear stained cheeks. The cause for her tears this time around was one that the quartet had only just recently become accustomed to. Now Mercedes wasn't one to cry. Not in front of her friends or her boyfriend, and it was only on very rare occasion that she had allowed tears to fall from those pretty brown, doe-like eyes in front of family. Her father had once told her that she should never give anyone the power of making her crying and that the best place to cry was in the shower or in the rain. Of course the shower was the shower was the better place because one could not get sick from sitting in the shower. It was one of the rules she lived by until recently. Unable to hold up the charade in front of the people she kept near and dear to her heart, Mercedes had broken down. It was the first time that Tina had ever seen Mercedes so sad. Santana, Kurt and Quinn had only seen her like this one other time, when her kitten died and her parents told her it 'ran away'.
The issue came about when Mercedes and her boyfriend of almost 2 years, Noah "Puck" Puckerman, had begun to go through what many people called a 'rough patch' in their relationship. Only the word rough was very much so an understatement. The honeymoon stage of their relationship was long gone and it was time for them to be put to the test to see if their relationship could withstand the heat. The first couple of arguments started a few months ago. They weren't bad; in fact, they had been so petty that their friends felt no need to involve themselves into the situation: something about not being comfortable in their positions to be around their parents, alone, for ling periods of time. They left them to settle things themselves and they did. The fighting had stopped for a while but then quickly picked back up once Mercedes suspected Noah of cheating on her. Someone had started a nasty rumor about Noah. Word on the street was that Puckzilla, the name he had given himself before he changed, had come back and Noah was back to his old cheating ways. Rumors like that had been going around before and Mercedes had dismissed it, but this time was different. She had begun seeing less and less of Noah. Sometimes they would go hours, even days without speaking, and for Noah and Mercedes, that was like weeks and months. They had been so inseparable during the start of the relationship they never went more than an hour without talking. Her parents were almost always away at conventions or on business trips that Puck had become a permanent fixture in the house. Mr. and Mrs. Jones had allowed Noah's stay in their absence not because they trusted him, but they trusted their daughter and liked having someone around to keep their eyes on her, even if those eyes came with a pair of hands and a penis. At first, he had stopped spending the nights at her place. She had thought his Mom or his little sister had Nicolette had missed having the only man they loved around the house and had persuaded him to start spending his nights at home. Then he stopped coming around all together. He had become really short with his texts and his phone conversations were bland. When she had finally gathered up enough strength to ask him about it, he denied all accusations and after serve real hours of grueling questioning, Mercedes had agreed to leave it alone. He had promised to do better with his communication and at one point in time she thought things were turning around, but it only lasted a couple of weeks before Noah had retreated to his previous behavior.
Today Mercedes had planned a special night for the two of them. She had been all excited about it and had gone all out. She'd gone to the store to pick up things to prepare his favorite meal, and a couple others things to make sure that dessert was even better. But at the last minute Noah bailed on her, said he had some business to take care of. When she asked him what was so important he had to bail on her and joked about him meeting up with one of his Cheeri-ho's or his milf of the week, he snapped.
"You know what Cedes, you're right. I'm going to go take one of these ho's back to my place, bend them over my desk and then fuck them senseless. Then I'm gonna go to do this pool cleaning job at Mrs. Johnson place down the street and when I'm done with her she's gonna want to leave her husband." He said sarcastically in the middle of the parking lot shoving his hands into his pocket as he rolled his eyes. He stepped to walk away but stopped when he felt the wind being knocked out of him, literally. Mercedes slapped him so hard he lost his breath for a moment.
"I bet you are. I mean that's all you do these days right Puckerman? You fuck sleazy ass, scummy ass bitches. Make sure you get your ass tested." Mercedes growled and rolled her eyes, crossing her arms under her breasts.
"Yup cause all I'm good for is fucking bitches, right Cedes? You only accuse me of shit like that cause the last dude you were with was bitch made." He scoffed.
"Well if you weren't such a fucking asshole sometimes I wouldn't have to compare you to 'his bitch ass' now would I?" She mocked.
"We are nothing alike." Puck retorted.
"Could've fooled me. He was a jackass and right now I'm looking at one." Mercy snarled.
"You weren't saying that shit before. I wasn't a jackass when I was all up in you though. In fact, I remember you not being about to form proper fucking sentences." He scoffed.
"Fuck you Puck!" she shouted, as she pulled her throbbing hand to her side. She'd hit him so hard that her hand stung. She looked at her hand and then his face and surly enough both were red, his face, a fire engine red. She could see the bruise her small hand had caused forming on his face, but at the moment she hadn't felt back. "You're fucking disgusting. I hate you!" she yelled punching his chest.
"Fuck me? Fuck you, Mercy." Puck shouted back at her. They both immediately regretted the words, but none of them were mature enough to apologize. They were too hurt to consider the others feelings. Puck got on his motorcycle and Mercedes hopped in her car, driving in opposite directions, Mercedes heading to her house and Puck, to wherever he could get a release and fast.
What had started out as a little joke exploded into something far more dangerous resulting in the couple going blow for blow and doing the one thing they knew would send the other over the edge, hitting below the belt. Mercedes knew she was wrong but she didn't expect things to escalate that far that fast. Whenever Mercedes would feel insecure in her relationship with Noah, he'd blame it on her past relationship with her ex-boyfriend Sam. Then Mercedes would turn the tables; bringing up Noah's past relations with multiple women, completely dogging him out in the process.
Their fights usually got pretty bad. He'd never gone so far as to lay his hands on her, no matter how many times she tempted him or pushed his buttons by "occasionally" slapping the dog shit out because he deserved it, which at times he did. He was always remainder as cool and calm as he could in a situation like that, sticking to simply restraints, like grabbing a hold of her wrists and holding them at her sides or about her head to stop the assaults.
Mercy rubbed her eyes as she sniffled and for the first time since they had all gathered in her room, she broke her silence. "It's my fault you guys. I accused him of stepping out on me. I brought up his past and you know what, he's probably fucking some little Cheeri-ho right now." She took a long pause before she started back up, "you wanna know the worse part. Something tells me he wasn't even cheating. I can beat that he never even thought to step out on me, but here I go with my fucking insecurities…he probably wants nothing to do with me. And I miss him so much, all I want right now is to be wrapped up in his arms." She cried and they all enveloped her in a hug.
"Cedes', don't cry." Kurt soothed.
"Yeah, we're all here for you girl." Quinn chimed in.
And if you want, we can take turns cuddling with you." Tina added.
"Hold up now. I didn't agree to that." Santana retorted and the rest of them shot a glare at her. "Fine, but that means I gets to be on Cedes at all times if I'm missing my sweet lady kisses with Britts." She bargained.
Mercy smiled. "Thanks guys. It means a lot that you'd miss sweet lady-kisses and all that good stuff to cuddle with me. But honestly, I don't think anything is going to help. I loved him so much it makes me wanna cry. I loved that boy so much I'd go through hell and high water for him a million times if he asked. I still do, but he's so mad at me right now, he probably wouldn't even look at me." She spoke softly.
Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever, have you ever
"Well how do you know?" Kurt asked
"You know Lady Lips has got a point." Santana sided with Kurt
"Watch it Satan." Kurt warned.
"Oh hush, I just agreed with you." Santana defended
"I think what they're trying to say is, you won't know unless you try. And if you love him like you say you do and like we all know you do, you need to go let him know that." Tina said bringing them back to the matter at hands.
"Tina's right Cedes. Go get him." Quinn added.
Mercedes nodded and stood to her feet. "Alright guys, get the hell out. I've gotta go get my man." she said proudly kicking her friends out and hopping in her car. She flew down the street like a bat out of hell and made it to Puck's in record time. She double parked in front of his house and quickly jumped out knocking on the door. She had planned on seeing Noah behind the door and was a little shocked to see his mother there.
"Hey Ms. C. Is Noah here?" Mercedes asked as she played with her fingers, sadness in her voice.
"No sweetie. Noah's not here. He was supposed to meet with his father today, against my wishes anyway." She said unamused as the thought of her ex-husband. "His father's such a sore subject for my poor Noah. He didn't tell you he was meeting with him?" she asked.
A sudden wave a guilt flooded over Mercedes. Of course! That's what he's been so secretive. Mercedes thought to herself as she recalled all the times the mention of Puck's father came up. Noah always ended up in tears or so anger she's have to pull out every trick she could think of to calm him down and bring him back to reality.
"I must have forgotten. Thank you Ms. C." Mercedes finally answered noticing the look on her face.
"No problem sweetie. But can you do me a favor, check on my baby okay. Please make sure that son of a bitch didn't cause more harm to my Noah than he already has." Ms. C asked Mercedes.
She nodded. "No problem. Tell Nikki I said 'hello' will you." She smiled before walking off and getting back in her car to find Noah.
She drove around for what felt like hours until she found Noah sitting alone on a park bench. He looked so sad; it broke her heart to see him this way. She got out the car and w=slowly approached him. Taking the seat on the far end of the bench, she avoided looking at him for a few moments. When she finally did, he had tears in hi.
"Noah," she started as she slid closer to him wrapping her arms around him.
"He never showed." He said dryly. "Cedes, he never showed." He repeated and the tears he had fought so hard to hide rolled down his face like a dam breaking. "You know I should have expected something like this. He never follows through with what he says. And even with so many years of experienced, I don't know why I expected him to actually show up this time and change. But I did. I'm so fucking stupid." He shouted pushing her off of him.
Mercedes stood and maneuvered herself in between his legs. She took his arms and wrapped them around her waist as she made herself comfortable in his lap and held him close to her. "You're not stupid." She spoke on the verge of tears. "You just have a really big heart and want to find the good in people. But not everyone is good." She pressed her lips to his and kissed him hard caressing his face. She seemed to be trying to kiss away the pain and the hurt.
He kissed her back, getting lost in the familiar feeling that is her. Her lips and her embrace felt like home. "What happened to fuck me?" he asked when they finally pulled apart to get some air.
"You know I didn't mean it baby." Mercedes apologize running her hand over his head and gently cupping his cheek as she stared in her eyes. "I'm sorry for accusing you of cheating on me. And I'm sorry for putting that horrific mark on your face. Your Bubbie Ruth is going to kill me." She pouted and placed kisses on the hand print she left on his face hours earlier.
"I won't let her." He promised as he winced a little at the feel of her lips against his bruise.
"If you'll let me, I'd like to make it up to you. I love you so much and I'd anything to make you believe that. I don't think you're out her fucking other women and I'm sorry for even saying that. I should have known that when you started becoming distant, there was a reason for it. But baby you gotta talk to me. I can't read minds, so you have to let me know when something up with you okay?" Mercedes searched Noah's eyes and captured his lips in a fiery kiss when he agreed.
Have you ever been in love
Been in love so bad
You'd do anything to make them understand
Have you ever had someone steal your heart away
You'd give anything to make them feel the same
"I love you so much Noah, I never wanna lose you." Mercedes blinked back the tears that threatened to spill.
"You never have to worry about that Mercedes. I love you way too much to ever let you go. I'm sorry for through that Sam shit in your face. And I'm sorry for saying 'fuck you too' even though you did say it first." He chuckled a little and wiped away the few tear that had managed to fall.
"Let's make a deal. No more fighting. I hate it when we're mad at each other." She looked up at his through her eyelashes.
"Deal." He smiled and pressed on last kiss to his girlfriend's lips and held her in her arms as they sat there in silence watching the sunset.
Song: Brandy - Have You Ever