For the writing-prompts I'm doing on tumblr. An anon asked for "You don't want me." for Eddie and Nana.
Grandson
Eddie doesn't like when he has to visit his grandmother.
He doesn't call her one mean sheep for nothing.
She doesn't even have to say much. It's all in her eyes. And in the twist of her mouth.
It says dismissive, it says scornful.
And it says something else, something that always makes Eddie's heart ache, but he ignores it, hides it behind a smile.
But he always hears it as if she were saying it to him out loud.
You are nothing to me.
He isn't sure if he ever saw his grandmother look at him with a smile.
Heck, she'd been performing in theaters around the world, can't she at least act as if she cared? She should know how to do that.
But probably he isn't even worth that.
Not even when he graduated did she smile at him. She just looked at him with her mouth not as twisted as it usually was, so that probably was the closest thing to appreciation he'd ever get from her.
Maybe he should be thankful for that.
Thing is he isn't.
He just wants a bit more from her. It doesn't have to be love or appreciation, just something like … well, he doesn't know.
Something that shows she cares for him, maybe? It doesn't have to be much. Just something.
He keeps telling himself that when his grandmother doesn't care for him, he can just as well not care for her, too. But he does care. She is his grandmother after all.
With a sigh he rings the bell to Nana Noodleman's mansion.
When he enters, he braces himself for what's going to happen next.
He takes a deep breath and puts that smile on his face that serves at his mask against everything.
Even against his grandmother.
"Good evening, Nana!" he says, spreading that smile a little more across his face.
Descending the stairs the diva gives him that look he knows so well and hates so much. The disdain in her eyes, the annoyed twist of her mouth.
He's seen it so many time and it still hurts like the first time.
But he ignores it and concentrates on keeping the smile on his face.
"Oh, is it Wednesday already?" the black sheep says with a roll of her eyes.
"Yes, Nana, it is," he says. "How are you?"
"Don't try to converse, Eddie," Nana Noodleman says, flicking her fan open. "It has never been your strong suit." She chuckles. "Not that anything has ever been your strong suit."
This sends a pang to his heart, and then there's something else, it's rising in his chest, and too late does he realize that it's anger.
It makes its way to his throat and his tongue before he can fight it down, before he even gets the chance to concentrate on his smile.
"Oh, yeah, I get it, Nana," he says. "I'm just your useless grandson, nothing more. I'm nothing to you."
His grandmother stops to look at him. It's the same look she always gives him, only her eyes are a little more widened.
"What?" she asks.
"You don't care for me, Nana!" he calls out.
"Eddie, wha…"
He doesn't let her finish.
"You don't want me!" he yells.
The dismissive looks in his grandmother's eyes is gone as is her twisted mouth and he just looks at him with her eyes wide and her mouth a little agape.
Eddie doesn't care. He turns on his heel and runs out of the mansion.
XXX
Back in his poolhouse he's still angry so he starts kicking his inflatable chair until he's out of breath.
He then slumps down on his couch face-down and waits till this terrible feeling gets away.
And when it doesn't, he groans, turning on his back.
There's a knock on the door of the poolhouse and Eddie lets out another groan. That's probably his mom wondering why he's back from visiting his grandmother already.
He rolls his eyes as he gets up.
"What is it, Mom?" he asks as he opens the door.
But the sheep outside isn't his mother.
It's Nana.
Eddie wants to say something, so he opens his mouth, but no words make it to his tongue.
The diva rolls her eyes.
"Close that mouth of yours, Eddie," she says. "You look ridiculous."
Again, Eddie wants to says something, but due to a lack of words he just closes his mouth with a snap.
What's Nana doing here?
He can't really read the look on her face, but he thinks the dismissive look in her eyes is somehow gone - or at least not as dominant as it usually is.
"I've never been good at this," the diva speaks up again, "but I want you to know that it's not true that I don't want you. Granted, I would prefer if you did something with your life, and it's hard for me to see that you waste your potential like that. But no matter what you do, I'll always care for you."
"You will?" he repeats.
"Yes." She nods. "You are my grandson after all. And I am positive that one day you'll come through. I just hope it'll be sooner than later." She takes a deep breath. "Well, that is all."
Suddenly, Eddie feels like smiling, like actually smiling, not just putting on that fake smile he usually wears around his grandmother.
Out of instinct he opens his arms.
"Oh, don't even think of embracing me!" Nana Noodleman calls out before she turns around and leaves.
Eddie is still smiling when he closes the door. And then he realizes that the terrible feeling from before is gone.
Actually, he's feeling pretty good.
He grabs the controller of his playstation and starts a new game.
Well, his grandmother might think that nothing is his strong suit, but he knows better.
He's good at playing video games.
And that's still something, right?