Invincible

by Rosa17

CARBY- with one or two spoilers for S10. Carter returns from Africa for the second time.

Summary: First and foremost a Carby, don't read too much into the prologue. This story starts Jan 2004. Carter has just come back from Africa and is seeing someone else. Abby is a med student. The story is loosely based on spoilers for s-10, and starts during season 10.

AN: I apologise if some of the phrases/med terms I use are not American, as I am English and don't know all US terminology, plus I'm not a Doctor. Also this is my first fan fic and I apologise if anyone is out of character, but hey it's just a piece of fan fic.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters etc.

Rating: Not sure PG-13 to be on the safe side.

Invincible by Rosa17

Prologue

The man watched as she came out of the building which housed the AA meeting she had just attended, it was late. His eyes followed her as she walked towards the El station.

'Damn' he thought 'I can't follow her anymore tonight I don't have any money today'

So he loped off towards Cook County Hospital, where he hoped she would return to in the morning. He arrived near the hospital and remained in the shadows where the voices in his head became his reality.

Chapter One

Jan 04.

'Hey Jerry' Carter said as he walked to the admit desk, 'Who's on?'

'Carter?' Jerry replied 'You're back'

'Obviously' he replied 'Quiet in here' Carter looked around, noticing the board was almost clear. 'Well?'

'Huh?' answered the desk clerk.

'Who am I working with tonight? Lucky me I get the graveyard shift on my return'

'Mmm Pratt's in one, Luka's in triage and Gallant is in suture'

'What about nurses?' Carter continued, watching Jerry intently.

'Yosh, Lydia and Haleh' Jerry rhymed off 'Romano isn't here, but is on early tomorrow'

'Lucky me' said Carter, taking a deep breath and trying to be casual he asked 'What about Abby, she here?'

'No she worked a 24 shift went off earlier, back tomorrow same time as Romano though' giving Carter a half grin.

Carter looked at him and then walked over to the charts.

'I think Luka said something about an acute diarrhoea case in four that needs seeing to' Jerry suggested.

'Great' said Carter taking the chart and walking off in the direction of curtain four. 'Welcome back John Carter'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carter spent the rest of the night working a steady shift, Luka and Pratt gave him a better welcome back than Jerry, but nobody mentioned Abby. In fact he was really hoping that he wouldn't bump into her for a few days. But John Carter was never that lucky or was he?

As the nurses changed over Carter pretended to be busy kept one eye on the admit desk.

'Mmm' he thought 'No Abby, maybe I will avoid her after all'

'So the philanthropic wanderer returns' Romano said loudly to Carters left, making his visibly jump 'We don't pay you to stop and stare at the nurses, though I guess you have got no reason to stare at nurses any more, have you?' he added with a smile on his face as he walked off to greet Dr Weaver who had just appeared. Leaving Carter staring after him.

'Hey! Carter! Long time no see' exclaimed Susan coming over to him.

'Susan, I never thought I'd see a friendly face again'

'Yes it's amazing even after a couple of days off how you can forget how scary Romano can be,' then she added more quietly 'between you and me he's got worse, just so you know'

'I think I'll leave now while I've got the chance, don't want to be roped in for a double'

'Ah, avoiding Abby are we? Susan replied knowingly 'When's your next shift?

'Tomorrow am, why?'

'Well' Susan hesitated

'Tell me' said Carter exasperated

'She's working a 36-hour shift, so unless you ring in sick you won't avoid her, especially as...'

'Susan, stop chatting, MVA 2 minutes, take Abby with you. Carter good to see you' Weaver said as she passed them.

'Get out quick before they do rope you in' Susan suggested

'Good idea' Carter replied and off they went.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carter walked jauntily into the ER to start his shift early the next morning, after spending some quality time with his new girlfriend Kate Divall, a journalist whom he met on his return flight to Chicago. She was blonde, pretty and vivacious and he had enjoyed the time they had spent together.

Immediately he noticed the usual chaos and noise of the emergency room and knew his shift was going to be hectic and demanding. Romano was being his normal self and Dr Weaver was shouting at Malik for some reason or another. Then he saw the one person he was trying so hard to avoid and everything else seemed to fade into insignificance.

Abby. She was, he decided, wearing a Doctors lab jacket, why was that his brain tried to decipher and when he looked more closely he noticed her name on the board. That's when he did a double take at her, then walked swiftly into the lounge to get ready for the shift ahead.

'I don't believe it' he thought 'she's returned to med school. Wow' and he gave his head a small shake.

'I'd turn around and go back home if I were you, it's pretty manic out there' her voice filtered through the quietness of the lounge and he turned to look at her. The air between them electrically tense.

'You're back in med school then' he replied

She bit her lip, like she always did 'Yeah' she quietly replied. 'Coffee?'

'Er no, I'd better head out there' he replied leaving her still chewing her lip and looking utterly confused and she went and got her coffee.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 2

Feb 04

Susan, Luka, Frank, Jing-mei and Gallant were all at the admit desk involved in various tasks.

'Carters late today' remarked Frank.

'Well', said Susan, 'He had a date yesterday, I guess he had fun with Kate'

'Kate?' queried Luka.

'Yeah, you know his latest girlfriend' said Jing-Mei peering over the chart she was working on.

'Where did they meet?' said Luka.

'Apparently on the plane back to Chicago' added Gallant, 'She's...well... very pretty'

'How'd you know?' asked Susan

'Bumped into them a few weeks ago, she's a journalist.'

'Well, well, well what are my minions up to today?' Romano's voice carried before him down the corridor.

'Let's look busy' suggested Frank and everyone did just that.

'Now let's see who's slacking this fine morning', Romano looked to the boards. 'Dr. Gallant, you've only four patients, here have this one and this one'

Romano flicked through the charts and handed two to Gallant, who stood next to him.

'What are you still standing there for? Get a move on' he said. 'Now let's see how many patients Ms. Lockhart has today'

Before Romano looked up at the board again he noticed a rather dishevelled Carter run out of the lounge.

'Ah! Carter' He shouted. 'Half an hour late, make it up or I'll dock your pay. Now where was I, Oh yes Ms Lockhart has...umm surprising seven patients, well she can have one more, a nice psychotic patient'

'Maybe I should take that one' Carter stepped in

'Dr. Carter, there are plenty more patients here for you,' said Romano and he handed Carter half a dozen charts, 'besides Abby is used to mad people, take her family for instance'. With that he strode off down the corridor with the chart. Abby was in exam one with a very elderly man who had an extremely chesty cough.

'Ms. Lockhart, the perfect patient for you' said Romano handing her the chart. 'Off you go and see him, Mr...Henshaw here can wait a while, I take it you have ordered tests for him'

'Malik's got it' she replied

'Good, good, now off you go and see Mr James Shaw here, and off he walked.

'Great' thought Abby to herself.

Just as she reached the room where Mr Shaw was detained, Susan caught up with her.

'Hey!' she called, 'Romano still giving you a hard time?'

'No more than usual. Susan, this patient Romano has just given me, does the name seen familiar to you?' and Abby handed Susan the chart.

'Mmm' Susan pondered 'Wasn't he the guy who tried to attack you

the day Carters grandmother died?'

Abby biting her lip answered 'Yeah you could be right'

'Fancy a girlie night, this evening?' Susan enquired

'Nah, I'd better go to a meeting, haven't been to one in over a week.'

'Oh, Okay, but remember you need to spend time with your friends too'

It was at this moment that the door to the suture room opened and a frantic, disorientated Mr Shaw came hurtling out, his eyes darting wildly around at his surroundings.

'Get away, get away,' he shouted and ran out of the exit doors, before anyone could restrain him.

'There goes my psychotic patient for the day' Abby said.

'Maybe next time' remarked Susan. 'How's Eric by the way?'

'Still off his meds, but staying with Maggie who's on hers' Abby replied

'Could be worse then' Susan said

Abby just smiled.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 3

April 04

James was pleased with himself, he managed to follow her everyday for little over a month and the voices in his head seemed to lessen when he saw her. The enemy chasing him could not catch him if he could see her, his muddled brain decided.

She was late today as she left her apartment on a stormy night, she hurried down the road toward the El and James Shaw followed her.

She alighted from the train, so did he, and she walked towards the hospital. All of a sudden he has an urge to speak to her and so he reached out and grabbed her arm.

Abby let out a startled scream, which caused James to panic and he increased his hold on her, which scared her all the more. Especially as she was unable to see her attacker.

Suddenly a security guard came out of the ER for some fresh air and noticed the commotion going on at the edge of the ambulance bay.

'Hey!' the security guy shouted.

Frightened, James Shaw threw Abby towards the wall, knocking the wind out of her. As the security guard went after him, Kerry Weaver came out and took charge of the situation.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

'How is she?' Luka asked Kerry.

'Still shaken, Jing-mei is giving her a couple of sutures. Jerry anyone off soon, who can give Abby a ride home?' Kerry said

'Carter' Jerry replied.

Kerry and Luka looked at each other.

'Where is he now?' Kerry asked

'Still in trauma one with the GSW' Sam said.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

'Let me walk you to the door' Carter said

'No. Look. You don't have to. ' Abby answered

'No I insist' Carter said opening the passenger door and helping Abby out.

He took her elbow and led her up the steps to her apartment, opened the apartment door, where they stood on the threshold.

'Wanna a coffee?' Abby asked

Carter checked his watch then, looked at Abby who was still rather pale, from her ordeal.

'Yeah, okay' and he shut the door behind himself.

'You know if I'd known it was him who was following me I might not have reacted like that' she stated

'You knew someone was following you?' Carter asked incredulously.

'Yes. No. Well I felt sometimes like someone was'

'Why didn't you tell someone?'

'I don't know. I thought perhaps it was my imagination. Anyway since when did you care about me?' Abby retorted.

Immediately she decided that she had gone too far. The look in his eyes went from hurt to anger to well she wasn't sure, when suddenly his mouth came down on hers in a punishing kiss, which left them both breathless.

One moment they were kissing the next their clothes were strewn all over the floor. They were both trying to get their breath back when Carters pager went off, breaking the heavy silence in the room. He fumbled on the floor looking for his pants. When he read the message he quickly gathered up his clothes and hastily dressed.

'Got to go' he said and was gone.

Abby stood there by the door trying to take in all the events of the evening. She didn't know if she was in more shock from the attack or by what had just happened between Carter and herself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 4

April 04 (A few days later)

Susan caught up with Abby on the roof at County.

'What's up with you?' Susan asked.

'What are you talking about?' Abby replied

'Gallant described your mood as subdued, I was worried you started drinking again, or at least Romano's jibes had got to you'.

'Oh' Abby replied, not offering any indication of what the trouble might be.

'Well?' Susan said, 'Tell me'

'It's nothing really, I.. er.. well I slept with someone'

'Someone, in like a new relationship someone.'

'No' said Abby. 'Someone as more like a one night stand.'

'Oh, you're sure you're not going to see him again?'

'No. I mean I doubt it, in that way anyhow. Please don't tell everyone, okay'

Susan nodded. 'Okay' she agreed. 'You know you could have said no'

'I didn't want to say no' Abby answered wistfully.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jack caught up with Carter in the study of the mansion, that very same day.

'What is wrong with you John?' he asked 'Ever since I got back three days ago, you've been moping around'

Carter paused with the document he was reading, he was going mad and he thought he might as well tell someone.

'I've done something' he muttered.

'And?'

'Something I guess I shouldn't have'

'More specific?'

'I slept with someone, I shouldn't have'

'Not Kate then, you still seeing her?'

'Yes, I'm still seeing Kate and no I didn't sleep with her on this occasion'

'And you're worried she might find out?'

'Not exactly' Carter replied

Then Jack shook his head slightly. 'Explain'

'Abby....I slept with Abby'

'Oh'

'Mmm, oh'

'I thought things were bad between you and Abby'

'Well if they weren't, they are now.......I can't believe I..'

'Still love her?' Jack interrupted.

'Don't'

'Don't what?'

'Tell me, what you think I'm thinking'

'Well, isn't that what you're thinking, Kate's just a...'

'Stop. Just stop Dad, you don't know anything about the situation'

'I know you still love her and seeing Kate isn't going to solve anything' Jack answered as he walked out of the room.

Carter sighed and he slumped his head down onto his folded arms.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As Carter walked out of the ER, after a long and difficult shift he spotted Abby.

'Abby! Wait!' he called and ran to catch her up. 'Look, we need to talk'

Abby look pointedly at him.

'Alright, I mean, I need to talk to you' he continued. 'Please Abby'

They stopped walking and Abby turned to face him.

'Look Carter now isn't a good time, I'm going to a meeting...I'll be late'

'This won't take long'

'Oh, okay' she conceded.

They stood apart for what seemed an eternity, but was actually only moments.

'I'm sorry' he finally said, lifting his eyes from the floor into her confused ones.

'Sorry for what exactly?' she asked rather harshly. 'Sorry for the way you dumped me or sorry about last week'

'Both I guess' he said, 'About the first sorry. I was hurt, angry, confused'

'Me too' she replied

'What?' he asked

'I'm sorry too and I was hurt, angry and confused'

He nodded while she chewed her bottom lip nervously. Neither spoke for a while.

'Look, I really need to go' Abby finally spoke. 'I'm gonna be real late'

'Want a ride?' Carter asked

Abby thought about this and said 'Okay, thanks'

The ride to the meeting was spent without the previous month's tension.

'I'll guess I'll see you tomorrow' Abby said as he stopped the jeep.

'Er, no. I have to go to New York on some foundation business for a couple of days'

'You know you could still change the direction the money from the foundation is donated to, you know humanitarian instead of arts and stuff', she paused, wondering if she had gone too far. Quickly she undid the door and climbed out.

'Thanks, for the ride'

'Anytime' he replied

He watched as she entered the building and then just sat in the jeep, lost in his own thoughts. Suddenly his cell phone began to ring.

'John' said the voice on the other end.

'Kate' he replied

'Where'd you get to? We've got dinner reservations at 8 and it's 20 past now'

'Sorry, I'll be right there' and off he drove.

Chapter 5

May 04

At the nurses station Jing-Mei, Elizabeth and Susan were writing up charts.

'Have you been invited to the wedding?' Elizabeth asked.

'Sure have' replied Susan 'I think most people are going, maybe we'll even get to see Carters new girlfriend'

'Bit quick, though, don't you think' Jing-Mei commented

'Life is short' Elizabeth replied 'He's had some bad times in his life already, I say good luck to Luka and Sam, besides it's another six weeks away'

'Yeah, I suppose so' Jing-Mei said

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Abby looked at the calendar again, surely the dates were wrong, she couldn't possibly be ten days late, but as she checked again she realised that she was. It was a rainy night but she had to know one way or another. Picking up a jacket and her keys she headed out.

A single or a double, money was tight but she thought that whatever the result she would probably have to redo it, just to be sure. After deciding on a double test pack, she paid for it and went home.

The waiting seemed to take forever as she watched the seconds tick by, chewing her lip she decided to go and make a coffee. She returned and hesitatingly looked and the test, she sighed. It was positive. Just as she thought, somehow she had really known and this had just confirmed it.

'Oh God what am I going to do now?' she said to herself. 'Maybe I should re-test in the morning'

And that was exactly what she did, much to her horror it was still positive. She sat on her couch and buried her face in her hands and wept.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Abby decided that if this was morning sickness, she'd rather not be pregnant, which took her onto the abortion/keep the baby debate which had been going through her mind for the last fortnight, not forgetting the, should she tell Carter one.

She looked in the mirror and splashed some cold water on her face, this 36-hour shift wasn't helping either and she was only half way through. She had to pull herself together she decided or someone would notice. Someone being Susan or Carter.

She was still staring into the mirror when Sam poked her head round the door.

'MVA 3 minutes' she said.

Abby nodded in response.

'I'll have to think about this later' she thought and she went out to see what the situation was regarding the MVA.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

'Bed. This is heaven' thought Abby, as she climbed into her own bed after a horrendous 24 hour shift, and exhausted, she slept.

Later when she woke, she lay there, thinking.

Confirmed. The pregnancy was confirmed and her due date was January 1st just before her birthday.

Options. Her options, deep in her heart she knew she only had one option. To keep the baby, but she was still scared, confused.

Maggie. Would be thrilled to become a Grandmother at last. Thrilled to the point of over the top thrilled.

Eric. She couldn't cope she thought if the baby turned out to be bi polar, like Eric or Maggie. Eric had been such a cute kid though.

Susan. Eager to be 'Aunty Susan' no doubt and enthusiastic about the whole thing. Of course not forgetting her curiosity of the father.

Carter. They had been getting on better lately. What was this going to do to their relationship? Especially as he was in a relationship with another woman, who might not be best pleased to find that Carter had been unfaithful. Despite this Carter would make a good Dad, a very good Dad.

Abby smiled to herself, rolled over and went back to sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 6

Late June 04

The wedding had gone smoothly and the party was in full swing by the time Abby arrived, tired after working a double. She gazed around, scanning faces until she found one she recognised.

'Luka, hi congratulations' Abby said and they shared a brief hug. 'Where's everyone?' Abby continued.

Luka pointed her in the right direction. 'Glad you could make it' he said.

Abby walked towards Jing-Mei, Susan and Chuck, Haleh, Gallant, Malik and Carter.

'You finally made it' Susan said laughing and obviously rather tipsy.

'Yeah' Abby replied raising her eyebrows at her friend 'I see you've bought a date'

'Uh Huh' Susan acknowledged 'Come on Abby, grab a chair, you look beat'

Abby sat down between Susan and Carter.

'Let's dance' suggested Gallant, and off all of them went, except Carter and Abby.

'Food?' Carter said

'Mmm?' replied Abby

'Food? Do you want to eat?, bet you haven't eaten all day'

'Em no not since' she paused and thought about this 'Last night I think'

'What you haven't eaten for 24 hours?'

'More or less'

'Come on' He grabbed her by the hand and they went to get something to eat.

'I thought you were bringing Kate' Abby said, trying to start a conversation, that diverted from why she hadn't eaten.

'We broke up. Couple of days ago'

'Sorry, didn't mean to pry'

Carter nodded in response, while Abby ate a plate of food. Feeling rather exhausted she made her way back to the table, Carter followed her, where they sat and watched the others dance.

'Dance with me?' Carter asked Abby.

Abby sighed, she didn't really know if it was a good idea, but Carter was looking at her with those puppy dog eyes of his.

'Okay one dance, then I think I'll quit and go home' and that's what she did.

'Where's Abby gone?' Susan asked later.

'She said she was tired, she went home' answered Carter

'I saw you dancing together' teased Susan

'You're so drunk I'm surprised you saw anything, and it was a dance one dance'

With that Carter stormed off.

'What you go and upset him for?' Haleh asked.

'Doesn't take much to upset him, he's been touchy all day' added Malik

'Maybe his ego's bruised, Kate dumped him' Jing-Mei informed everyone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 7

Four weeks later.

Abby caught up with Carter on the way back from the elevator.

'Carter' She touched his arm

'Abby'

'Carter, I need to talk to you'

'Today's not good'

'Tomorrow? By the river, the old place?'

'Sure, what time are you off?'

'One'

'Okay, we'll meet then'

'Carter!, Abby!, you're not paid to stand chatting, there are patients dying here!' Romano yelled at them and they shared a look.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carter sat on the bench, nursing a cup of coffee, when Abby arrived a little late.

'Sorry. Romano was on the warpath' she apologised.

'That's okay' he replied

They sat there for a while in companionable silence. Finally Abby turned to half face him, looking intently at the hands which she was nervously twiddling.

'John' she began in a quiet voice.

This caught Carters attention and he looked up to meet her gaze. She rarely called him John; in fact he couldn't remember the last time she had.

'John' she repeated ' I want you to listen to what I'm going to tell you, you need to think about it, make a decision that's right for you. Not me. You. Don't interrupt me I need to finish this, I've spent a lifetime running away and this time it's gonna be different'

Carter rather confused nodded in response. Abby took a deep breath and started the most difficult speech of her life.

'You have to know that I love you, really love you' she smiled to herself wistfully, 'I should have told you that before, before it was too late, but I need to tell you now.' she paused, 'John...I'm pregnant... that night you took me home. I thought about what to do. I can't have an abortion not again' she paused again and off his look continued, 'When I was married to Richard, I had an abortion, I didn't even tell him I was pregnant.

Although I'm scared, really scared that I'm going to bring another Maggie or Eric into this world, I couldn't face going through that again. Sometimes when I see small kids, I wonder what my child would have been like.

Anyway since you're the baby's father, I just thought you would want to know. Here'

She thrust a sonogram picture into his hands

'Here's the baby' the more softly she said, 'Our baby. Let me know if you want to be part of the our child's life John. No rush, it's not due 'til the New Year'

With that she stood and walked away, leaving Carter staring after her. A while later he looked down unbelievingly at the picture of their child in his hands.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(One week later)

Several members of staff were standing round the nurses station gossiping as usual.

'She is I tell you' Jing-Mei said

'She can't be' answered Pratt

Jing-Mei continued, 'I know, I've been there'

'Why don't we ask Dr Lewis' Neela suggested.

'Ask me what?' Susan said

'Abby. Is she pregnant?' said Frank

'Well' Susan pulled a face, 'I guess she's put a little weight on lately, but pregnant, she's not even seeing anyone, oh, but hang on. There was this guy, no I really shouldn't say anymore'

'You can't say all that and then just leave us hanging' Jing-Mei said.

'Well. I told her I wouldn't say anything, it was a while ago though'

'Oh come on spill' Sam said joining in the conversation.

Susan tilted her head from side to side then said; 'All I'm saying is that she had a one-night stand. No' she put her hands in the air, 'Don't ask me whom with, she didn't say'

'You'd better find out' said Frank

'Look I can't promise anything' Susan said, 'But I'll try'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Abby was in the lounge when Susan caught up with her.

'Hey, hiding out here I see' Susan said

'Trying to catch up on some reading' Abby replied

'Abby' Susan said as she sat opposite her friend, 'Is there anything you want to tell me'

'Like what?'

'Look there's some rumours flying around about you'

'Rumours?'

'Rumours that you're pregnant'

'Oh'

'So you are? ... You are, aren't you? Why didn't you tell me?'

'I don't know, I haven't told anyone much'

'You can't keep something like that a secret for long, how far along are you?'

'Seventeen weeks'

'Wow, what about the father?'

'What about the father?'

'Hey you two' Yosh said 'Two GSW, three minutes out'

'Okay' Abby said to him and started to leave the room.

'You're not going to tell me are you?' Susan asked.

'Not right now' Abby answered.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next day everyone were gossiping again

'...And she didn't say anything else' Pratt asked

'No' Susan replied, 'She probably thought I'd tell you lot'

'Would you?' asked Luka

'Not if she didn't want me to'

'So' said Frank 'We need to run a pool, on who the father is'

'What are the choices going to be?' asked Lydia

'Romano' joked Jing-Mei, 'I didn't mean it' she added as Frank wrote it down.

'No one's come up with anything else' he said

'Ed' said Gallant, everyone looked blank and he added, 'You know the security guard who helped out when Mr Shaw attacked her, I've seen them talking sometimes'

Frank wrote this down then said, 'What happened to that psychotic nut anyhow?'

'He's having the appropriate treatment' Susan said

'I've seen her chatting to Dylan from physio' Pratt suggested.

'What that new cute blonde guy?' asked Susan

'Yes that's him' said Jing-Mei

'Carter' said Luka

'Carter?' chorused Susan, Frank and Pratt.

'Yes, Carter' said Luka

'Four, that's enough' said Frank

'I don't believe you think it's Carter' said Susan 'You're nuts' and she picked up a chart and walked off in the direction of her patient.

'Did I hear my name?' Carter said as he came up to the board.

There was silence, then Frank said, 'We're running a pool, on the father of... you do know she's pregnant?'

'I take it you're talking about Abby' Carter said. 'Of course I know, who doesn't'

With that he walked off in the direction he had come from.

'He's touchy again' Pratt commented.

'Perhaps he's jealous' suggested Lydia.

Chapter 8

August 04

'Long time, no see' Susan said as Carter approached her. 'Where've you been?'

'Africa' he answered.

'Again?' she replied

'Just for a couple of weeks'

'Jerry, where's Ms. Lockhart' Romano boomed as he entered the ER.

'Huh' said Jerry

'A b b y L o c k h a r t, where is she?' Romano replied speaking as if Jerry was really stupid.

'She's not here' he replied. 'Dr Weaver gave her emergency compassionate leave a few days ago'

Romano grunted then said to Jerry, 'Get Weaver on the line for me, now'

Jerry gave Susan and Carter a look and when he had reached Dr. Weaver, held the phone out to Romano.

'Kerry' he barked into the handset, 'what is this about Ms. Lockhart and compassionate leave.....oh.....I see...staff should really come to me first....I'm unapproachable?....mmmm....okay' he then gave the phone back to Jerry. Looked hard and menacingly at Susan and Carter and walked off to talk to Elizabeth.

'Do you know where she's gone?' Carter asked Susan.

Susan shook her head and said, 'No idea'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carter tried for several days to contact Abby, her cell phone and pager were switched off and he left several messages on her voice mail.

On the fifth day he decided to visit her apartment and after knocking a couple of times, a dishevelled and exhausted Abby answered the door. He looked at her surprised at her appearance.

'Hey' he said entering her apartment and shutting the door with her. He led her to the sofa and they sat down.

'Want me to make you a coffee?' he asked.

She shook her head; 'Tea would be good though'

A few minutes later he returned to the lounge with their drinks and sat next to her.

'How was Africa?' she asked

'It was...things haven't changed there' he said, 'Maybe they never will, I don't know, where'd you go?'

'Minnesota' she quietly replied. 'God it was awful' and she covered her face with her hands as she tried to control her emotions.

'Maggie?' Carter asked

Abby shook her head.

'Eric?'

'Uh huh, I got a call from Maggie, said she'd had a call and could she identify a body, they thought it was possibly Eric, but she couldn't do it, so I had to go'

'Oh God' said Carter, gently stroking her arm with his thumb.

'Only when I got there' she continued, 'it wasn't, Eric was still missing though. He turned up 2 days later in hospital where he'd OD'd, it was still a bit touch and go but he survived. He's back living with Maggie now, both on their meds for now, he agreed to have some treatment.' Abby's voice threatened to break as she spoke.

He gently pulled her towards him and gave her the embrace that she needed. They sat there quietly for a while listening to the summer rain as it beat against the windowpane.

'Was Maggie pleased. About the baby?' Carter asked.

'Yeah, when she'd got over the shock. I didn't tell her about you though, I didn't think you'd want the pressure, especially as we hadn't discussed it' she replied, wishing that she could stay in his arms like this forever.

Suddenly she felt the baby kick and she took Carters hand and placed it on her swollen stomach.

'Hey' he said softly 'the baby's kicking'

'Uh huh, amazing don't you think?'

'Yeah it is'

They sat there a while longer until Carter noticed Abby was almost asleep.

'Abby, Abby' he said gently

'Mmm' she sleepily replied

'Come on, you'd be better off in bed'.

He pulled her up and took her to the bedroom and put her to bed, where she fell asleep almost instantly. Kissing her on the forehead, he quietly let himself out of her apartment.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 9

October 04

Carter looked up at the departure board and noticed that his flight to New York had been delayed an hour. He went and sat down and his thoughts strayed to Abby, whom he was secretly rather concerned about. She just didn't seem right somehow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Abby was in the middle of a trauma with Romano, Elizabeth, Malik and Chuni. She was finding it hard to concentrate as her head had been pounding for days and now her vision was blurred, feeling rather disorientated she vaguely heard Elizabeth say time of death, then Abby left the room.

She sank down against the wall. Rapidly followed by Romano, who noticing her premature departure decided to give her a piece of his mind. She was partly aware that he was standing over her and she managed to say.

'Don't feel good, headache, visual disturbances, dizzy'

She shut her eyes and rested her head against the wall. Romano noticed how puffy she looked round her eyes; his gaze shifted to her neck, hands and ankles and noticed the same there.

'Okay, here' he extended his arm and helped her to stand. 'Randi' he yelled, anywhere open'

'Bed in one ' she shouted back.

Romano took Abby there and indicated for her to lie on the bed.

'Felt like this long?' he asked as he took her BP.

'Headache for a couple of days, the rest started while we were in trauma'

'Damn!, diastolic 90' he told her

'Pre-eclampsia' they said together.

'Plus with the swelling you already have it might be too late to contain it's escalation, don't move' he told her, 'I'll get Haleh to run some tests' and off he went.

'Abby's test results are in' Haleh said as she handed them to Romano some time later.

'This is not good' he said 'high levels of protein in her urine, I want you to monitor her at least every fifteen minutes, okay'

Haleh nodded.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Some hours later

Romano, Elizabeth and Haleh were standing around Abby's bed.

'You know this is not improving Abby, in fact your condition is slowly deteriorating, if this continues we'll have to consider a C section' Romano said

'But I'm not even 25 weeks, chance of foetal survival ....'

'It's that or you'll both die' Romano said, cutting in.

Elizabeth and Haleh gave him a look.

'What?' he replied, 'she knows, she's a nurse, med student'

'Is there anyone you'd like us to call?' Elizabeth asked, 'Your Mother, brother, father of the baby, Susan, another friend, anyone?'

'Carter' Abby replied, 'Just Carter'

At this Elizabeth and Romano looked at each other surprised.

'They're still friends' Haleh said.

When the trio looked back to Abby, her eyes were glazed and unfocused.

'Oh damn' Romano said, 'She's going to seize'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 10

Later that night

Carter sat on the plane to Chicago, reliving the conversation he'd had a couple of hours ago.

'Excuse me gentlemen' the secretary said to the ten men involved in a heavy business discussion, 'there's an urgent phone call for Dr John Carter on line one'

'Dr John Carter' said Carter into the phone

'OR at County here, I've been asked to inform you that Abigail Lockhart is having emergency surgery, she asked for you to be informed'

Hundreds of thoughts were running through Carters head, none of them good.

'What's happening? What's going on?' he finally managed to choke out.

'I really can't tell you any more'

'Something please, what kind of surgery is she having?'

'C section, now I really can't say any more at this point, would you like me to call you when she comes out of surgery'

'No' he answered 'I'm coming home'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carter paced the waiting room by the OR. First he shoved his hands in his pockets, then through his hair. Finally he sat down with his head in his hands. He didn't hear Elizabeth enter the room; she sat down next to him and put her hand on his shoulder.

'Sorry I wasn't with you sooner. GSW' she explained

He looked at her the pain evident in his eyes, asking her if Abby was all right.

'She's stable' Elizabeth said, 'Now anyway, hasn't regained consciousness yet'

'What happened exactly?' Carter said with difficulty

'She developed pre-eclampsia, which unfortunately turned rapidly into eclampsia, hence the emergency c section'

'You know I thought the other day something wasn't quite right with her and I let it go' Carter sighed.

'Maybe we all should have been more vigilant' Elizabeth replied.

'The baby?' Carter asked

'I'm sorry'

'The baby died?'

'We did everything we could, but he died'

'He?'

'Yes. The baby was a boy'

'Can I see her?' Carter asked, biting his lip to keep his emotions under control.

Elizabeth nodded and led him to Abby's room. As Elizabeth left, Carter pulled up a chair and sat down, he took one of Abby's hands in both of his, as the tears threatened to fall down his face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Everything was fuzzy as she opened her eyes; it seemed like weights were trying to close them. She groaned slightly and Carter who had been dozing sat up straight, still holding her hand.

'Abby?' he whispered

She looked at him, sitting there beside her, wondering how long he had been there.

'Abby' he said, 'God Abby, I nearly left it too late to tell you how much I love you'

Carter wasn't sure but he thought he saw a faint smile on her face before she fell into a healing sleep. He looked to the ceiling and back to Abby, this time the tears did fall down his face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When she woke the second time, she was more coherent as she took in her surroundings. The nurse was taking some vital checks.

Abby looked at Carter who seemed to be asleep, his hand still holding hers, with his head on his arm. Gently she stroked his hair with her free hand, noticing how sore she felt. It was then that she realised that she was no longer pregnant. She moved slightly to raise herself up on the bed.

'Abby' a groggy Carter said.

Abby looked at him, fear and confusion in her eyes.

'The baby' she whispered, 'What happened to our baby?'

Carter shook his head and choked ' He didn't make it'

As Elizabeth walked past the room she looked in the window and saw the pair of them sobbing in each other's arms.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Elizabeth came down to the ER on a consult.

'How's Abby?' asked Kerry.

'She's improving' Elizabeth replied

'The baby?' Sam asked

Elizabeth shook her head, then said 'No visitors for 24 hours okay'

Everyone nodded sadly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 11

December 04

Carter slammed the stall door shut and vomited into the toilet. After washing his face at the sink he made for the roof.

'Where's Carter?' asked Yosh, 'I need to ask him about these patients' and he held up a stack of charts.

'Haven't seen him since he dealt with the emergency delivery in trauma 1' said Lydia.

On hearing this Abby became concerned, and at the next available opportunity she went upstairs, to see if he was on the roof.

'John' she said as she touched his arm.

He was staring out into the blackness of the night.

'Are you okay...I heard about your trauma patient... do you want to talk about it?'

He didn't say anything, mostly because he didn't trust himself to speak.

'I'm sorry, it must be especially hard for you to come to terms with what happened. Nobody knows that you lost a child too'

'You know' he answered, You understand how I am feeling, that's enough'

She looked up at him her eyes watering.

'You know I blame myself, I really should have realised what was happening to me'

He turned to her and gently ran a finger down the side of her face

'No, don't blame yourself, I noticed something was wrong, I chose to ignore it.'

'Well it's not you fault either, we've just have to come to terms with this, get through this.'

She walked into his embrace and they surveyed the skyline together.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 12

1st Jan 05

It was going to be a long night, Abby decided as she stepped out of the bath, after having a long soak, which she needed after a fraught and difficult day. She sat in front of the TV and flicked through the channels, thinking that she really should get something to eat, when the doorbell rang.

'Hey' said Carter laden with pizza and videos, 'thought you could use some company' he shook his head from side to side, 'that we both could use some company, tonight'

She smiled, 'How could I refuse an offer like that' and invited him in.

By the time they had eaten the food and watched two of the movies it was late. Carter sat up slightly from where he was lounging on the sofa.

'Hey, don't move' Abby protested 'I'm comfortable'

'Yeah, with me as your cushion' he retorted, 'It's late, I'd better go'

'Stay' she said 'I don't want to be alone tonight, do you?'

'I keep thinking' he said, 'We could have been parents by now'

'Or we could still be waiting' she added absent-mindedly caressing her now flat stomach. 'I guess officially we were parents, just not for long'

'Umm' he agreed stroking her hair.

'Stay and watch the last video,' she said.

The winter sun filtered through the windows and it shone in Carters eyes, causing him to wake. He found himself wedged between the back of the sofa and a sleeping Abby. He looked at his watch 8.30am, he gently eased himself off the sofa, careful not to wake her, if he wasn't fast he'd be late for his shift at 9!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 13

Easter 05

Carter and Abby were on the way to the mansion in Carters jeep; a small sapling sat in the back.

'What exactly are we doing?' she asked

'Patience is a virtue' he answered and she sighed.

When they arrived he carried out the sapling to a sheltered part of the garden.

'We're planting a tree?' Abby asked

'Uh huh' Carter answered, 'Are you going to help me with this?'

'Don't you have Gardeners for this sort of thing?'

'Usually, but this is special'

When the tree had been planted, Carter took a small plaque out of a box and handed it to Abby.

It read: 'In memory of baby Carter died October 2004 beloved son of John Carter and Abigail Lockhart. In our hearts forever'

Abby used the back of her hand to wipe away her tears.

'It's beautiful John' she said

They placed it at the bottom of the sapling in silence. She turned to face him and cupping his face in her hands she gently kissed him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 14

June 05

Susan handed Abby the envelope that she had been waiting for.

'Well?' Susan asked

'It looks like you are stuck with me'

'That's good'

'What good?' Luka asked

'Abby, resident, here at County'

'Congratulations Abby' Luka said

'Are you going to the charity ball to raise money for County' Susan asked

'Yeah' Abby replied, 'Alone, no date though, thanks for reminding me, I need to find something to wear.'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The man stood in the shadows and watched Abby as she entered the room. She was wearing a deep red dress and looked beautiful. His gaze followed her as she socialised with her colleagues, that is until the band began to play a slower song.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Without joy without care

Without love tell me

What is there?

Without hope without pride

Without love, tell me

What are you and I?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He walked up to her and the circle of friends she was with and softly touched her shoulder.

'Dance with me?' he asked

'I thought you were in Boston, and couldn't make it back' she said

'Surprise' he answered.

He took her hand and led her to the dance floor, where one arm encircled her waist pulling her close to him and his hand on the other entwined with hers.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Even after all this time

You're still the only one

I long to keep forever more

We've only just begun

Whenever I'm feeling small

You make me invincible

The answer always seems to

Be right here next to me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

'They look cosy' Susan noted

'Why are you surprised?' asked Luka 'I told you all along that he was the father of her baby'

'And was he?' Susan asked

'I don't know, I haven't asked, it's none of our business, they never stopped though'

'Never stopped what?'

'Loving each other, maybe you were just too close to them both to notice'

'Mmm, I guess so' Susan replied as they watched Carter and Abby enjoy the dance.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Without you without me

Without love tell me

What are we?

Without fire, without steel

Without love, tell me

How do we feel?

Anytime that we're apart

My heart is here with you

If I feel I can't go on

I just think of you

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

'You know I haven't said congratulations' said Carter 'Resident Abby Lockhart at last'

'Thanks' she replied

'Abby?'

'Uh huh'

He caught her chin with his hand and tilted her face to meet his gaze.

'Marry me?' he asked

Abby smiled and said, 'Yes John Carter, I'll marry you'

He leant down and slowly kissed her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Every day I feel as though

I'm more in love with you

The sunshine and the reason

For everything I do

Now and forever, we'll stay together

I know

The End

AN: The lyrics are from the song Invincible written by M.Topham and K.Twigg.