Yuuki looked into the mirror and finally dared to breath. She was beautiful. Her long and white dress fit her perfectly. She wore a bustier decorated with pearls and the right skirt got wider on her feet. It was the wedding dress she's always been dreaming of and yet she was convinced, not so long ago, that she will never get married. Because the one she loved more than anything will never love her back. She was convinced she won't be able to love anyone else. Then, she met Shota. She sighed. Today was her day. It was no time for memories.

"Oh! Yuuki!" a voice said. "You're so beautiful!"

Yuuki turned and smiled at her best friend, Makino Tsukushi. No. Her name was Domyoji Tsukushi now, Yuuki had to get used to it. Tsukushi married Domyoji Tsukasa six months ago and since that it was like Tsukushi could not stop smiling. Yuuki even though she felt a little jealous was really happy for her friend. More than anyone she knew how hard it had been for them to be able to get together. Tsukushi came closer and hugged Yuuki.

"I can't believe you're getting married!" Tsukushi said. "You're the most perfect bride I've ever seen!"

Yuuki laughed. She was really beautiful, but on her wedding day, Tsukushi was just gorgeous. Her happiness made her most beautiful than the most beautiful dress would have done. Yuuki did not understand why she was simply beautiful. She smiled but she had to admit that if her lips smiled indeed, her eyes did not.

"Everyone is here" Tsukushi said. "Shota's parents are there… They look so so… rich… I mean they could at least smile! Their son is going to marry the most perfect girl of Japan!"

Yuuki laughed again. Tsukushi looked at her right in the eyes and then frowned.

"Are you okay?" Tsukushi worried. "Yuuki, you look deadly pale… Do you need a glass of water? Some air maybe?"

Yuuki shook her head and sat down. Her heart was beating fast, too fast. She has been trying to convince herself it was the excitement because she was marrying the man she loved. So why did her heart try to make her sick? Yuuki tried to take a deep breath but it was like there was no air around. Tsukushi took Yuuki's hands.

"I am okay" she whispers. "It is just the… excitement…"

Tsukushi did not believe her.

"You don't look excited, Yuuki. You look terrified."

Yuuki knew her friend enough to know she did want to be mean but yet her words hurt her.

"It's a big day" Yuuki said "it's a big decision… I guess it's fine to feel scared a little bit… You felt that too, right?"

Tsukushi shook her head.

"No, I did not." She answered. "I was scared Domyoji's mother changes her mind again. That's all. Even if she did, I think we would have got married anyways."

Yuuki smiled and once again she felt jealous. She wanted to be as sure of her feelings as Tsukushi was.

"Yuuki, are you wondering if you took the right decision?"

Yuuki sighed.

"No" she said firmly "Shota's everything I have ever wanted. He is kind, nice, smart… And he loves me."

"I am not talking about this decision and you know it."

"I should not be talking of him on my wedding day. This is not good…"

"Answer me, Yuuki. Please."

Yuuki closed her eyes. She did not want to talk of Nishikado Sojiro. He was her first love and also the man who broke her heart so much that she thought she could not love again. She had not talked to him in years. Since he ran away from the library and from her. Of course he was there at Domyoji and Tsukushi's wedding but she avoided him the best she can. Plus, he came with a wonderful woman and Yuuki was alone. She hated to see his charming smile and to see all the girls he'd been flirting with was torture… The day he ran away from her at the library, she decided she won't see him again. It was hard. She missed him more than she would have thought. Two months later she was leaving for the United-States. Only Tsukushi knew: Yuuki made her promise to keep it secret. And she never saw Nishikado Sojiro again until the wedding, four years later. In New-York, Yuuki met Shota and fell in love with him. Or, at least, she did desperately want to fall in love with him. Even she liked his company, his humor and the way he took care of her, she never felt as happy as she felt when she was with Nishikado.

"I can't spend my life running after a dream" she whispered. "He will never love me… It was time to accept it. My heart has to learn to beat for someone else, for someone who deserves it. I deserve to be happy, right?"

"Of course you do, Yuuki."

"So please, help me to get married."

Tears fell down on Yuuki's cheeks.

"You're scared because you think you did not take the right decision… Come on, Yuuki. You're not forced to go through it, you can stop it all."

"Of course I can't" Yuuki screamed. "I gave my word. And let's imagine we call off the wedding. What's happening next? I go on following Nishikado san hoping one day he will fall for me? I can't do that anymore. I think a part of me will love him forever, he was my first love, a dream, but I need someone real to grow old with…"

Tsukushi felt so powerless. She knew Yuuki was wrong but she could not force her to cancel the wedding… In her head, she insulted Nishikado a thousand times. This man was so stupid! Even worse than Domyoji was. He could search in the whole world, he would never find a girl as good as Yuuki. Yuuki seemed to calm down and Tsukushi sighed.

"What time is it?"

"3 pm."

The ceremony was supposed to start in fifteen minutes.

"Are you sure he is going to make you happy?"

Yuuki nodded.

"Is my maid of honor ready?"

Tsukushi smiled. She was not ready to see her best friend committing the biggest mistake of her life but as a friend she has to be there for her, anytime she needed it.

Yuuki stood up and rearranged her dress.

"You look like a princess!"

"And I'm not going to marry a prince" Yuuki thought. "Just a man who loves me. That's perfect."

Tsukushi rearranged her own dress. It was a simple pale pink dress. Yuuki choose it, she did not want for her best friend a ridiculous dress so she picked up the most beautiful one!

"Once Shota would have seen you, he will fall for you again!"

Yuuki hoped so. She wanted him to love her for the rest of their days. She promised to herself she will make him happy. She looked at the clock. It was time to go. Her heart beat normally but she had to admit she felt no excitement. Tsukushi opened the door and they both went out. Tsukushi hugged her friend and stood before her, ready to go in. The music started. It was the traditional air but it sounded like it was the first time Yuuki heard it. The young bride took a deep breath and followed her friend. Tsukushi was walking slowly and Yuuki was just behind. She could hear the appreciative murmurs as they walked down the aisle. Yuuki raised her head and saw Shota, standing in front of the priest. He was handsome. His black hair was flattened on his head. His suit was probably expansive but made him look so strict… Even if was handsome, Yuuki could not help but think he was very different from the boy she met. She stopped for a second. Once again, she wanted to run away… Tsukushi turned and frowned, worried. Then Yuuki nodded and Tsukushi went on walking. Shota frowned. Yuuki knew he hated when things did not go the way he planned and obviously, having a bride so slow was not really a part of the plan. Yuuki looked at him, searching for a light of approbation in his look but it was like he did not even look at her. Apparently, something behind Yuuki was much more interesting. Something or someone, Yuuki could not help but wonder. No, Shota was a faithful man. He was just… distracted. Finally, she arrived next to him. He did not even smile at her and Yuuki felt her stomach gnaw. She tried to convince herself that Shota was just as nervous as she was. He did just forget to smile, it happened… The groom and the bride both turned to the priest. He welcomed everyone in his church to celebrate the ceremony, to join two lives. Yuuki did not even hear the word he said. Except the priest's voice, the church was silent. In her head, she could hear a million voices screaming. Most of them were shouting "run" or "call the wedding off". She felt like she was beside a total stranger… A total stranger she was supposed to marry. The priest asked if anyone was against the ceremony. Yuuki hold her breath. She thought her heart was going to stop beating when she heard the door's opening. Suddenly, her heart seemed to burst in her breast. Yuuki felt her legs shake. Nobody was talking and Yuuki did not dare to turn. She glanced at Tsukushi and when she saw how her friend looked afraid, she knew who just opened the door. Yuuki closed her eyes and tried to calm the beating of her heart. He spent years running away from her and then he decided to come to her wedding day…. It was too much. Yuuki felt angry. And ashamed. Because a part of her just wanted to turn, to look at him and to cancel the wedding off. She was so weak… She felt Tsukushi's look on her. Her friend was worried… Yuuki did not turn back even though she did really want it. She held her breath until she heard the door's closing. Then she suddenly realized the priest was talking to her. Beside her, Shota looked irritated.

"Yuuki Matsuoka, do you take this man to be your husband?"

For a second, she thought of Nishikado-san. She had hoped for many years he would be her husband but it was over now. Nishikado-san belonged to her past. Shota was her future.

"I do."

Her voice was clear and pure and Yuuki sounded almost sure of herself. Then the priest turned to Shota. He was still not smiling…

"Shota Matsumoto, do you want to take this woman to be your wife?"

"I do."

They were now married. Yuuki looked into his husband's eyes and saw no love, no light, nothing. He put a possessive hand on her waist; Yuuki did not like his touch but did not move. She wanted to fulfill her husband's eyes with love. Their life will be happy. They will be happy for the rest of their days. She would do anything for that. Then she smiled. For all the guests, for her friends, for her husband. And for herself because she wanted to believe in her new life.

THE END.