(A/N - I will not post more until I get ehhhhh... 5 comments. The story's going to be a couple flashback chapters and then the future of this pairing. I have cool things in mind so COMMENT! Next chapters will be MUCH longer.)
Everything that he ever told me was a complete lie… Though I can only blame myself for listening to that adamant piece of trash. He preached to me about love, and how the Arrancar should stick with each other when I know he knew that I eyed our leader. It was all a ploy to get me to trust him, when I had not trusted anyone. He defiled me as a man… And reached through this hole in my chest to pluck out what I had as a heart. I cannot even undress and see my body without cringing at myself in disgust for letting him touch me like he had. That man's hands had touched and caressed every inch of my body, and his tongue as well. I could nearly vomit at the thought of how the hot, soft, wet thing had felt; how it had made me shiver and cry out for more. How he used to hold me and whisper out little pleasantries while he forced himself into me; every inch. I look at everything in disgust. There isn't anywhere in this god-forsaken place that doesn't remind me of him. He was everywhere and now he's gone… He was the only one who made my heart beat faster… And the only one to make me blush… And he will be the only man to ever touch me.
I could never understand it… How he could do so much to me. How he could make me scream and moan and rip up my own bed sheets… And how he could make me feel even more secluded than I'd ever felt in my entire life as an Arrancar. In fact… I was better off before he'd touched me for that first time. I would look at Aizen and imagine him touching me like that blue-hair did. I would stay up at night and make myself reach the edge all with thoughts of our brunette superior. I accepted it as that. I didn't press for more, or even tell Aizen how I felt, though sometimes I couldn't look in his eyes because I'd feel guilty. Then he came into my room, slamming the door shut and pinning me to my bed. He whispered that he'd make me forget Aizen for good, and that only he would be the one to make me his own.
And I really did forget Aizen… I can only think of that bastard. Now these tears on my cheeks will not fade away… They will not falter, though I may be the only one who sees them. I cannot stand myself anymore, though I disguise myself as though I don't care that he's gone. Everyone looks at me strangely ever since that day when they heard me scream for him to come back. It was an obvious give away to what had happened between he and I. They look at me with gross looks, as if I am lesser than them… And Aizen takes more attention to me. He could think that I would help Grimmjow since I had used to sleep with him… But that isn't the case. If I ever see that blue-haired trash again I'd kill him.
He took away everything I had and created an empty shell of an Arrancar. I'm not the same man that I was… And if he came back he'd see that. I am not as weak… And even smarter than before; though I hurt so badly.