Alright. This is my first Jackie Chan Adventures fanfic. I'm really excited, because I totally obsessed over this show for years. It is one of my all-time favorites, and while I feel as though many of its ideas were not explored as fully as they should have been, there is no denying that it was a phenomenally great show, despite that shitty fifth season (ye gods, that shitty fifth season). This fanfic aims to remedy some of the plot holes, and we will be ignoring the time travel episode from the fifth season as well, because as a Whovian I am majorly upset by the resulting temporal paradoxes had that episode actually happened. Besides, it doesn't have any influence on the plot at all, because my God, that shitty fifth season.
Sorry. Now, let us begin.
JCA
A Malfunction in the Sewing Machine of the Universe – or, Jade's Second Trip to the Netherworld.
Utter boredom. Dullsville. Jade Chan stared with glazed eyes through the teacher's whiteboard. She'd just started another school year in San Francisco, and it was proving to be as mind-numbing as the last one. No adventures, no bad guys, just another year of desks, tasteless lunches and number 2 pencils. Bor-ing.
A note slid onto her desk. Jade surreptitiously snuck a glance. There was at least one or two good things about a new homeroom. One, the schoolyard skeptic and her longtime rival, Drew, was in another class, and she got to be in the same room as her two friends Frank and Charlie. Unfortunately, Rocko was held back that year, but at least they got to see him at Dragon Scout meetings.
More to the point, Jade's existence in general had gotten much duller as well. With the defeat of Drago and his cronies a few months ago, she had been eager to see what big baddie was up next for a beating. No one had stepped forward yet, sadly enough. Not one ninja, not one magical artifact hunter, not so much as a purse snatcher. What was wrong with the forces of darkness? Uncle said that whenever one great evil fell, another would rise to take its place. So, where was the evil sucker?
The note from her friends said:
Meeting in the usual place. Bring pie.
Jade grinned. These days, her and her friends were up to pranks that would make the Monkey King jealous of their skills. From the shortness of the message and lack of detail, it was probably Rocko's idea, passed to Charlie or Frank at lunch. Jade curved her hand over the edge of her desk and glanced around the classroom, catching her friends' gazes. The two boys did the same. Jade nodded, and carefully, furtively, tore up the note into little pieces.
As Mr Alderman droned on and on and on about the colonization of the Spaniards, Jade quietly drew out a straw from her desk.
SPLOT. The spitwad landed on the back of his left shoulder. The teacher halted in the middle of drawing his time line as the class started giggling. Mr Alderman turned menacingly towards Jade, still holding the guilty straw in her mouth, and gave her the mother of all evil eyes. Jade, who had stood firm and fierce against demons and evil wizards and death threats, withered under the gaze of one who could only give her extra homework or complain to her guardians. Being so young as yet, her perception of 'being in trouble' still needed work.
Mr Alderman audibly gritted his teeth. "Detention, Miss Chan. You will spend the next three Saturdays at school, doing the extra work I'm going to give you. Now give me the straw." Grumbling, Jade handed it over, and sulkily doodled for the rest of class in her notebook. If he had faced any of the Oni or demon sorcerers, he wouldn't have stood a chance. Mr Alderman would've run away screaming and pissing his pants. Jade drew numerous adventures for him, facing her numerous enemies and each time encountering an inevitable sticky end. Although – Jade hid her grin as she drew her teacher sinking into a puddle of goo – that wasn't to say that it hadn't been worth it. That moment of giggles and laughter to relieve the monotony – that moment of sweet revenge – had indeed been worth three days of detention.
After a few more hours, the bell rang to signify the end of the day, and Jade raced out the front doors, reveling in her newly found freedom. "Hey Jade, wait for us!" Jade stopped short as Frank and Charlie ran to catch up with her. They had gotten out their skateboards. Jade grinned. The epic way to the secret hideout it was.
The three children flew down alleyways and little-used roads, stopping by a bakery to get some pie. Her friends laughed like nothing was faster than them as they performed flips, jumps, and other stunts their moms would never be around to see. Jade just smiled. When you've jumped out of an airplane and flown with talisman magic, there's not much that can compare.
Finally, they stopped in front of an old townhouse that looked like it ought to be condemned. Charlie kicked open the door, which was always unlocked, and the three rushed up the stairs, where Rocko was waiting. Since he usually took the bus home, Rocko had to find another route to the clubhouse; since he lived nearby, he was usually there before they were. The boy grinned, holding up a pair of custard pies. "You know Drew and his gang? They always hang out at the arcade?"
Jade scowled. "Yeah. Those jerks have made fun of me more than – oooohhh." She grinned. "What's your plan, Rocky-boy?"
"A little game I like to call 'Ninja Pies'. We're gonna have to be very careful about how we do this. Now, here's the plan..."
The Arcade, Half an Hour Later
Drew, Stacy, Manny, Lois and Jerry were taking turns on the dance machine. Drew laughed as Manny failed miserably, and stepped up to take his turn. The pink square lit up, and as he put his foot down – splat! It landed in a lemon meringue pie. "Huh?" Drew slipped, and fell on his butt as a cherry pie appeared in the place where he landed. His friends, freaking out, ran from the arcade. "Hey, guys, wait for me!" He ran after them, and got a custard pie in his face for his efforts. Drew cried out and blinded by pie, he ran straight into the door frame, whacking his forehead. He fell backwards, and his fall was broken by two more pies.
Drew ran screaming from the arcade, babbling about Jade Chan having put a curse on him. The gang left with Cheshire cat grins on their faces, running till they were out of sight of suspicious eyes. They laughed and laughed.
"It's totally awesome having access to Section 13 teleportation gadgets," Frank said, wiping a tear from his eye.
"Yeah, but I kinda wish I hadn't thrown away the talismans. It would've been even cooler if we used invisibility and super-speed." Jade said with a sigh of regret. "The things one must sacrifice to save the world."
Charlie's cell phone started ringing. "Aw, man, my mom's callin'. See you guys tomorrow."
"Not me. I've got," Jade sighed deeply. "Detention." She said the word like it meant a gloomy dungeon complete with torture devices. The four children went their separate ways, Jade speeding off to the underground base that was her home to return the tech before Kepler noticed it was gone.
That Night, in Section 13
It was dark, and cold, and Jade couldn't see a thing. The floor was cold beneath her bare feet. The air was still, and there was not a sound to be heard, not a single one. She just kept running, panting with fear, though she didn't know why. She tripped, and fell, and tumbled down a hole. As her eyes suddenly adjusted to the darkness in a way they had not up above, it only took her a few seconds to realize where she was, and it sent chills down her spine. The Shadow Realm.
Floating aimlessly in opaque, inescapable darkness, Jade heard screams of delight and laughter; cold, deep, mocking laughter, laughter that struck fear in the hearts of all who heard it. Jade tried to run, but found herself caught and quickly entangled in the shadowy arms of ninjas. She cried out in pain as they clutched at her arms and legs hard enough that her hands and feet felt numb. Jade couldn't move, no matter how hard she tried. "Get me out of here! Somebody – anybody, help me!"
"Anybody?" The marrow of Jade's bones chilled at the reply. She knew that voice "Are you sure, Jade? Or should I say, Queen of the Shadowkhan? You could command them to let you go, you know – if you chose to take command. You could, you know -" A face began to materialize in the darkness, a face that Jade dreaded ever seeing again; the thought made her knees tremble and her shoulders to shake. "You would only have to ask."
"No! No, I'm never going there again, you sick floating head! I'll never join the darkness – not now, not ever!"
The orange Oni sighed, his face fully materialized now. "A pity. I was hoping to do this the easy way. Very well then." A ninja appeared with a vial of black liquid. The Oni looked at her with a cruel, twisted smile in his cold green eyes, the color of jade. "Time to drink up. Say 'aah'."
Jade kicked and screamed, but the ninja held her fast, as the other shadowkhan drew closer – and closer still. "No – no! Don't! I won't let you! Jackieeeee! Uncle Jackie, hellllllllllp!"
Jade woke up in her bed, gasping and drenched in sweat. She curled up in the fetal position and started to cry in fear. When she was finished, she hurried and turned on all the night lights in the room, and then cowered in her bed again, terrified of the slightest shadow until she calmed down and the adrenaline left her system.
These nightmares were getting too frequent for Jade's liking. She'd been having them ever since she had first come face to face with the Lord of the Oni, Tarakudo, but now she'd been having them every night for the past two weeks. Granted, they'd been worse when she was actually fighting the Shadowkhan, but the fact she was still having them worried her. Jade wanted to tell Jackie and Uncle about them, but something made her hold her tongue. She'd started telling Tohru, one of her best friends, and somehow she'd changed the subject, without even knowing she was doing it. Jade was starting to wonder if she should see a shrink.
Jade glanced at her clock. 6:32. Might as well get up. She dressed and went out of her room. She passed one of the agents in the hall. He gave her a friendly greeting, and noted that she was up early. Jade smiled and returned the greeting, but ignored the question.
She found herself at the open door of Jackie's room; it looked like he was packing for a trip. "Hey, Jackie, whatcha doin'?"
Jackie yelled and jumped about a foot in the air. "Jade, you scared me. What are you doing up this early?"
"I woke up early. You're packing for a trip – where are you going? On a mission?"
"Sort of. Remember Uncle's detection spell?"
Jade nodded. A while ago, Uncle had set up a detection spell in Section 13 so that Captain Black and the other agents could find out about any magical disturbances in the western hemisphere as they were happening. That way, they could rush to the scene and check out whether or not there was a new evil.
"There was a big blip detected just off the coast of Rio de Janeiro. Uncle, Tohru, Captain Black and I are going to check it out right now."
"Awesome! I'm coming with!"
"No, Jade, you're not."
Jade's face fell. "Seriously? After all this time you haven't realized how helpful I've been? I've saved your -"
"Don't get the wrong idea, Jade; I would bring you along, but you've got detention today, remember?" Jackie folded his arms and looked sharply down at his niece. Jade folded her own arms and looked sulky.
"If I'd known this was going to happen, I wouldn't have told you about it," she grumbled.
Some Time Later
What a perfect way to avoid detention. Jade grinned as the plane reached full altitude. Rio de Janeiro, here she came! It was way too late to send her back to school now. Although – she grunted as she moved into a more comfortable position – hiding in a luggage compartment wasn't the most comfy way to travel.
"TOHRU! BRING UNCLE TEA!"
Tohru sighed. "Yes, sensei." While he was no longer Uncle's student, he still technically worked for him, at least as much to the extent that Jackie did. As an honorary member of the Chan family, he had learned to humor the old patriarch. Tohru poured the tea into the cups for each of them.
Jackie sighed. "I almost wish Jade were here; I'm so used to her tagging along -"
"Tohru, might as well pour fourth cup. Jade could be hiding on plane."
"Are there orange slices?" Jade asked as she opened the compartment and clambered down.
"Jade! Not again. You are so grounded when we get back to San Francisco!"
Jade rolled her eyes. "Okay, okay, same deal as usual." She inwardly grinned at Jackie's relieved expression. He'd probably have worried she was sick if she'd failed to sneak aboard.
Tohru poured her a cup, and she sat down on the seat Captain Black had occupied until he went to the bathroom. "So what's the scoop?"
"Uncle's spell has detected a – ow!" Jackie massaged his forehead where it had been struck. "What was that for, Uncle?"
"Uncle will explain situation himself! Uncle's spell has detected a rift in the time-space continuum – one showing vast amounts of magical residue. It could lead to another dimension – strange creatures could step through if the the rift is left unsealed!" Uncle zipped open a duffel bag to check his tools for damage. Dried lizards and blowfish were very susceptible to rot.
"So we're going to seal it up? Cool! What if something comes through? Are we going to fight it?"
"We'll just have to find a way to send it back." This from Tohru. "If it is dangerous and could harm someone, then we will fight it."
"Hey, guys, - oh, tea! Gah! What's Jade doing here?" Captain Black had returned from the lavatory.
"Tsh. I snuck aboard, duh. Aren't you used to this by now?"
Black frowned. "You could at least give me my seat back." Jade politely scooted over to sit between Jackie and Uncle. Black sat down, though he didn't ask for tea. Jade pulled out her backpack. For reasons she herself was unsure of, she had brought it along. Jade zipped it open. Her notebook, a few pens, a pair of binoculars, half a bag of trail mix and a pile of used gum wrappers. Might as well bring it all along; you never knew what might come in handy. Jade zipped it back up, and before long her head was nodding. She yawned like a cat. A nap might be in order; after all, she had gotten up at 6:30 in the morning. Using her backpack as a pillow, she took the seat across the aisle from the grownups as they discussed the preparations for whatever might be on the other side of the rift. Whatever. Jade slowly drifted away from the waking world, slipping into slumber. Jackie smiled, and felt guilty that Jade had turned out to be such a hero. He was putting her life in danger, something no child should have to go through. If only she had been older, less impressionable when she had come to America – if only she hadn't wound up being raised fighting the forces of darkness. Jackie bit his lip, and returned to the conversation at hand, his thoughts put aside but never forgotten.
She was suspended, weightless in midair. Jade looked about her, and realized with a sickening feeling in the pit of her stomach where she was. "Oh, no. Not here again!" Screeches and howls of bloodthirsty warriors came from some distance behind her.
"There! There she is!" Jade gasped as the voice of Ikazuki boomed from the same direction. "There is the girl that placed the mask on Lord Tarakudo's face! After her!" Without stopping to wonder, Jade fled screaming in fear, with the breath of Oni on her heels, dodging swords and throwing stars by the breadth of a hair.
"And where do you think you're going?" The face of Tarakudo appeared in the air before her. Jade skidded to a halt. On one side was Tarakudo, on the other were Ikazuki and his Shadowkhan. She was trapped!
"Jade. Jade, wake up!" Jade's eyes opened in a flash as she woke with a start. "We're here," Jackie said with a smile. Jade bounced off the seat, trying to smile as though she'd had pleasant dreams.
They got straight down to the wharf from the airfield, and rented a boat and life jackets. Uncle and Tohru were holding their chi tools, a lizard and a blowfish, respectively, and they began to use these to search for the rift as Captain Black started the motor. They sped off into the open sea.
"Uncle has located the rift!" Uncle held his lizard high in the air, pointing slightly to the north. "Over there!"
"Well, duh." The rift was huge, like a giant pillar of crackling energy. Captain Black steered the boat to circle it. Jade, who was leaning over the edge of the boat, was so close she could almost touch it.
"Nothing appears to have come through. Tohru! Prepare to begin sealing the rift!"
"Yes, sensei." Jackie noticed that Jade was reaching out with her hand.
"Jade! I don't think you should -" but it was too late.
As Jade felt a jolt of energy spike up her arm, she realized that she had done something really, really stupid far too late. I thought I knew better than this, Jade thought as she felt her arm nearly get yanked out of its socket, pulling the rest of her body into the rift. The twelve-year-old was sucked in like a drink through a straw, sealing the rift behind her, leaving four men with their mouths hanging open and shock and dismay in their hearts and faces. Three of them thought, oh no, not again.
Uncle was first to recover. "We must find what dimension Jade has been transported to. It will take a powerful locator spell to make it work, but hopefully Uncle can manage it." Then Uncle noticed the three others still staring at the spot where Jade had vanished. Pow! Pow! Pow! They yelped as Uncle brought them to their senses with his two-fingered strike. "No time for lollygagging! Must get back to land to perform locator spell NOW!"
It was like falling out of an airplane, only if the Earth's gravity was like Jupiter's. She was rocketing towards her destination, wherever it might be, like she'd been shot out of a cannon at lightspeed. Jade thought her arm was going to get ripped off, it hurt so bad. She couldn't even draw breath to scream as she was put under higher and higher pressure until -
The rift finally spat her out onto solid ground. Jade gasped, welcoming air into her lungs. She heard a great thooming sound behind her, the sound of a sealing portal. "No no no no no no no!" Jade turned around, but the rift was gone. She was stranded.
Then Jade noticed something worse. Something that trumped all the other bad things, something that most certainly and indubitably trumped detention. Something that struck home as being in worse trouble than if she had done much, much worse things in class than shoot spitwads.
"Aw, man; not again. Bad day." Jade gazed around her, and in every direction in an orange sky were barren floating islands and rocks, nothing but that as far as the eye could see. The Netherworld again. Crap.
JCAJCAJCA
Well, how do you like? Please, be honest, but also please don't be rude. I know this is a rather short beginning, but we'll be getting to the main plot soon enough. Anyhoo, this is chapter one. Hopefully I'll be coming up with the next chapter soon!