Title: Michael Douglas and Hugh Hefner
Pairing: Jack/ Liz
Prompt: Golden Girls for ham_napkin
Rating: G
Disclaimer: If you recognize it, it belongs to one Mrs. Tina Fey and co.
Setting: slight AU, sometime after season 2

She finds Jack watching old reruns of the Golden Girls.

(Oddly enough, after receiving another early morning phone call from Jack telling her to come to his office, this is not the strangest scenario she had expected to face.)

"Lemon," he replies without looking away from Betty White doing… whatever it is Betty White does. (Other than starring in awesome Snickers commercials, that is. Nerds, now she wants a Snickers.)

Anyways, Jack is sitting in his office at some ungodly hour in the morning watching a bunch of old women. (Although Liz has nothing against the Golden Girls, this is abnormal behavior even for Jack.) And suddenly she notices that he's not looking so great either. He has that same desperate, crazed look in his eyes that he had the last time Liz found herself at 30 Rock after a call from Jack in the early morning.

"Lemon," he continues, "am I old?" (For some reason, Liz finds this question slightly endearing. She quickly blocks the thought.) "Not old in a Hugh Hefner way, but old in a Michael Douglas way?"

Liz finds it both odd and telling that Jack would choose two men who both are in relationships with significantly younger women. After all, he dates models, socialites, etc; she's heard the spiel.

"What? Jack, no. You're not old. In a Hugh Hefner or Michael Douglas way. Why?" Liz carefully replies.

"Look at where I am, Lemon. I'm 47, ("That's not true. At all," interjects Liz.) unmarried, and still only Vice President of East Coast Television and Microwave Programming. Where am I headed? Giess refuses to die; I'm stuck. I have nowhere to go."

"Jack, I can't believe I'm saying this, but, Geiss will die. Physically, he has to," Liz says, cutting off Jack's protests to the contrary. "Listen, you're Jack Donaghy, all right? So quit whining and nut up. You're right, right now, you are in a rut. But get over it! Who cares if you're married right now? Who cares how old you are? You still have plenty of time left to become President of your microwaves!"

Liz begins to feel uncomfortable as Jack just sits there and stares at her with his unblinking blue eyes. (When did his eyes get so blue?) She waits for him to comment about how "If she were any other woman in the world, he would be turned on." But he doesn't; he stares at her as if seeing her in a whole new light.

Jack begins to lean forward, his eyes never leaving her face. Liz has a feeling that this is not a fake out, like the night after Gerhardt's birthday party. As Jack leans closer, she begins to freak out, nervous butterflies twisting her stomach into knots. She stops breathing, his face only centimeters away from hers when-

"Mr. Donaghy!" Jonathon comes barging into the room, causing Liz to jump two feet away from Jack. "The phone! It's the hospital! Something about Mr. Geiss!"

Upon hearing these fateful words, Jack reaches for the phone, his unwavering eyes watching as Liz sneaks (or at least attempts to) from the room.

On the way home, Liz has only one thought: She will never be able to watch the Golden Girls again.