TITLE: Drift

PAIRING: A/O

RATING: PG for now, R later

SUMMARY: Set after Lead. Alex tries to recapture her old relationships and maybe forge a few new ones.

A/N: Once again, this story was long ago published on my mailing list. I am going back to my personal rule of not engaging with reviewers. I need to remind myself, you can fix ugly, you can't cure stupid. If you take the time to review my story, good or bad, thank you.

Alex Cabot stood outside the bullpen trying to get her nerve up to go inside. She had no idea how long Greylick would be gone, but the first case back had given her a much needed boost of confidence and she was hoping to capitalize on it.

Through the window she could see the familiar brown hair and the glow of the desk lamp. Taking a deep breath she walked through the door and made her way over to Olivia. The brunette was so engrossed in her file she didn't hear Alex approach. The blonde took a moment to just watch her one time friend before making her presence known.

"Alex? What are you doing here?" Olivia inwardly flinched at the accusation in her voice.

Alex faltered and suddenly felt unsure of her decision. She quickly changed her mind and offered the brunette a slight smile.

"Uh, nothing." She was clearly lying and looking every where but at Olivia. "Cragen in?" She knew he wasn't by the fact his office was dark.

Olivia studied the blonde and felt an odd mix of anger and sympathy.

"Nope." She leaned back in her chair and put her hands behind her head.

"Oh, ok. Well, I'll see you around." She turned and had taken a step when Olivia's words stopped her.

"The old Alex wouldn't have done that."

She turned and frowned at the detective.

"Done what?"

"Traipsed all the way down here to see somebody and then chicken out and lie."

Alex nodded at her and then spoke. "I'm not that Alex any more." Now she did turn back around and start for the door. She didn't get very far before she was being spun around by the brunette.

"Talk to me Alex. We were friends once. Pretty good friends I thought."

Alex swallowed hard. "Before I came back and didn't get in touch with any of you?"

Olivia was much quieter this time. "Alex...why'd you come down here tonight? And don't lie to me this time."

Alex couldn't help but quip, "I've lied to you before detective."

Olivia chuckled. "Alex...talk to me. Please?"

Alex shifted from foot to foot. "I actually came looking for you. I wanted to see if you wanted to go get a drink?"

Olivia nodded and grabbed her coat, and was soon walking down the hallway with the blonde.

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O'Malley's

Olivia had suggested they go O'Malley's which wasn't a cop bar or an upscale bar. It was a neighborhood bar nowhere near either woman's apartment. She had a feeling going back to the bar where Alex had been shot might not be such a good idea.

Instead of sitting at the bar they had actually taken a seat in a booth, in the back of the bar. She was surprised when the blonde ordered a Lynchburg Lemonade. She raised her eyebrow.

"I did a very brief stint in Tennessee, home of Jack Daniels. I acquired the taste and brought it back to New York with me." She got a far off look in her eyes.

"Alex?"

"Elliot only got it half right Olivia. I didn't call because it meant remembering you guys being there when I got shot."

"Oh?"

"Calling meant having to remember I got shot period. And I don't like to do that."

"Oh Alex. I'm sorry. I wish I could have been there for you."

Alex drained her glass."You were. All of you were. In my mind anyway. Both while I was gone and when I came back. I retreated into myself after I entered the program." She shrugged. "It was important to my sanity."

Olivia searched her friends face and saw the fine lines around her eyes, the hard edge of her posture and the heartbreaking look in her eyes.

"What do you want Alex? What do you need?"

Alex signaled for another drink and took her time answering.

"I want to turn back time and get back the last 5 years, but that can't happen. So What I need now is a friend. You were right, we were close once and I hope I can repair the harm I've done to our relationship?"

Olivia gave her a reassuring smile.

"I'd like that. I've missed you Counselor."