I don't own SHIELD and never will. No copyright infringement intended.
Grant knew from the start that redemption wouldn't be easy, but he was up for it. He didn't want to fuck this up at all so he threw himself into everything. It actually worried the others a little, but it was so tense between them that no one mentioned it. They all avoided each other (well, mostly Ward) ninety percent of the time. They couldn't exactly do that when they had a job. Hydra was still out there, but their numbers dwindled by the day as SHIELD continued to rebuild itself. "Anyone hungry?" he called out as he got out food to start preparing dinner. Actually, breakfast for dinner since Grant chose eggs and toast.
No answer, but that wasn't much of a surprise. He was used to it at this point. And since he deserved it, Grant didn't say anything. He didn't have the right to do so. So he sat down at the table and ate by himself, just like he did every day. Misery accompanied him every minute of the day, but he felt that way long before John Garrett found him. For a while, before Hydra stepped out of the shadows, Skye and the others showed him what a family should be like. He wanted that happiness back, but it was never going to happen.
As soon as he was done eating and had cleaned up, Grant headed to the couch and not his room. He knew the others had issues sleeping next to him and wanted to make sure they were comfortable. Grant hated upsetting them, especially since he had done enough of that before turning on Garrett. But the damage was done and now he had to live with the consequences of his actions. When Skye passed through without a word, he sighed and grabbed a book to read. He ended up falling asleep with it on his chest.
Grant startled when someone shook him awake. He opened his eyes to Coulson. "What's going on?"
"We have a new case. Get ready to go," Coulson ordered. He then talked around and walked out. Grant stretched and then headed to his room to change clothes pretty quickly. Afterwards, he met up with the team.
They figured out who – or what – caused the electrical problems that killed a few people – pretty much immediately, surprising them all. But as he was chasing down the suspect, Ward couldn't help but notice that Skye's gun seemed trained on him too. It hurt more than he thought possible, but he didn't have time to worry about it as he shot the guy with an ICER. He went down quickly and was arrested a few seconds after that.
And once again, Grant was left alone to eat dinner by himself. He sighed as he started making burgers and fries for everyone, just in case. "It's okay," he lied. Really. It felt like he wouldn't ever find his way back up from rock bottom, but he was fine with that. And as soon as he finished eating, Grant wrapped up the leftovers and placed them in the fridge, a heavy feeling in the pit of his stomach.
He put his head in his arms and laid there for a few minutes to drown in self-pity and guilt. The strong urge to cry overwhelmed him, but Grant refused to give in. He didn't deserve to cry, to feel that relief. When he started worrying someone would find him like this (unlikely, but beside the point), he stood up and headed back to his couch, an area the other avoided now since they knew he slept there. It only made him feel even guiltier so he started reading a new book.
The next day, Grant was heading to the kitchen again when he accidentally bumped into Jemma. "Oh!" she cried.
"Sorry. Sorry. I didn't mean to do that. Totally my fault. Are you okay? I didn't hurt you, did I? I'm sorry." He cringed at the multiple apologies, but couldn't stop himself.
Jemma looked at him for a few seconds. "It's okay," she assured him.
"Still sorry." And then Grant turned around and bolted away so he didn't accidentally ruin her innocence some more. Why had he touched her? That never should have happened. And now he had no appetite, but he was still surprised – and happy – to see that someone had eaten his leftovers from the day before. Maybe they didn't completely hate him, but he refused to get his hopes up.
Nightmares kept him awake all night – nothing new – but he hated feeling this way even though he definitely deserved it. Nothing he did could ever make up for his betrayal of the team, and it was time Grant accepted that. He still loved Skye, but she had moved on and he didn't blame her. No one wanted him nor would they ever. It was high time he finally accepted it.
Trip bumped into him when they were leaving the Bus for a day off, and Grant still apologized. He didn't understand the look on his face. "What?"
"You're apologizing to me when it was my fault?" Jemma had mentioned something the day before, but he hadn't believed her.
"It wasn't your fault – it was mine." Couldn't Trip see that?
"Okay then." He eyed the other man in concern.
"I really am sorry. Won't happen again." And then Grant walked off the plane, leaving a confused Trip in his wake.
"What happened?" Jemma questioned.
"I ran into Ward – on purpose just to see how he'd react – and he apologized to me. Just like you said yesterday." Trip wondered if that was a result of the abuse Ward had suffered at the hands of his family and Garrett – something the team had learned about following a horrific night that no one wanted to remember.
"I think we've punished him enough. It's time to forgive him," Fitz voiced.
"You were on Team Save Ward from the beginning," Trip pointed out.
"And what does that have to do anything? He's clearly trying to redeem himself. Maybe we can help him out a little bit." Fitz hated seeing his friend look so down.
"We'll see." Trip smiled at him and then left the Bus.
None of them really talked about it anymore until a few days later, when they were on a case that ended up traumatizing them (those were pretty common now, but this incident was worse than usual).
Skye held her arms up in surrender as their suspect pointed his gun at her. He had dissolved her own with his powers and once she'd got out of this, she'd be complaining to Coulson and May. "Just put your gun down and we can talk, Matt."
Matt shook his head. "You want to kill me!"
"I don't have a weapon, Matt. I can't hurt you. You made sure of that." She just hoped this didn't end with her shot.
She didn't have to worry. Grant leapt out of nowhere and went to go shoot Matt when his gun also dissolved. "Fuck," he complained.
"You're going to die!" Matt aimed his gun at Skye's stomach, and Grant knew immediately he couldn't let her die. Without thinking about it, he jumped in front her just as the gun went off. He crumpled to the ground just a few seconds after the bullet entered his body. He groaned and tried to tell Skye he was okay, but he doubt she could hear over her screams. Right before he slipped into unconsciousness, Grant saw a dead Matt fall too.
He woke to a beeping noise and white walls. "Skye?"
Sitting in a chair right by his side, Skye squeezed Grant's hand. "I'm here. You saved me, Ward. Thank you."
"Welcome. How bad is it?" Hard to focus with the drugs coursing through his system, he stared at her as best as he could through tunnel vision.
"You're going to survive. You lost a lot of blood, and we nearly lost you but you'll recover." She wasn't about to tell Grant they had to shock him back to life in the ambulance and on the table during surgery.
Grant sighed and closed his eyes. "Glad you survived," he murmured. And when he woke up again, Skye was still sitting in her chair but Coulson had parked himself in another one.
"How are you feeling?" Coulson questioned.
"Not as drugged. Hurts a little, but I've been through worse." He didn't mind his boss' wince.
"Thank you for saving her, Ward."
Grant blinked in surprise. "You're welcome?"
"I'm going to leave you two alone now, but the others will be by in a little while to see you." Coulson would be grateful to Grant for the rest of his life for putting himself in harm's way to save Skye. That meant everything to him.
Skye groaned and stretched, never once letting go of Grant's hand. "You don't have to keep holding my hand." It felt nice, but she didn't have to this out of obligation.
"I am not doing this out of obligation, Grant Douglas."
Had he said that last part out loud? Huh. "Full naming me now, Mary Sue Poots?"
She mock gasped. "How dare you."
Grant laughed and instantly wished he hadn't. "Don't do that again."
"Okay, let's get serious. I am here because I want to be here. You got that? Good. You've been trying so hard to earn our forgiveness – I see it every day – and we've been treating you like shit. But you jumped in front of a bullet for me."
He shifted around to try and get more comfortable. "Because I won't let you die. Call me selfish, but I don't want to live without you. I love you, Skye. You're the one."
Skye blinked back tears. "I love you too, Grant."
"I don't want you saying that just because of what I did. Don't do that to either of us." He couldn't handle the heartbreak, not after what they had gone through before.
"I wouldn't, okay? I promise."
"Good. And did I ever apologize to you for what happened in the cargo bay? I feel like I should have. I came off kind of creepy."
"Kind of creepy? Try really." She still had nightmares about Mike giving him a heart attack and killing him that day.
"Point. It's no excuse, but I think I snapped in that diner. Not my proudest moment. Didn't realize until much later how that must have looked to you. And I don't blame you for being angry and disgusted that day. I deserved it." He felt a lot better now that he had finally said it. That had been bothering him for a long time.
Skye grinned at him. "I accept your apology. And we can move past this. We just need to have a long talk after you're out of here. You game for that?"
Grant yawned while nodding. "Of course I am."
And that was all the warning they had before the rest of the time poured into the room. Eating Jell-O, Fitz leaned in for a half hug. "We're going to be okay, Ward."
"We all love you. And here is a bear from the gift shot that Fitz and Trip insisted we get." Jemma handed it over.
"Thank you. It's big." Grant would never admit that the bear felt soft and warm to anybody.
Grant Ward had finally earned redemption and regained his team's trust. And once he left the hospital, he never ate alone again. They were a family and they were acting like it again. Skye leaned over and kissed her boyfriend as they played Scrabble with the others. "I missed this."
"Me too." He couldn't do much of anything, but playing board games was fun. It felt like everything had finally returned to normal.
Forgiveness needed to be earned, and that's exactly what happened. A long and painful process, redemption definitely couldn't be achieved easily. And with his family and the love of his life next to him, Grant could finally start to heal.