Eheh.. here I'm again, after retiring for a few years…

Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy. Sighs.

Imagine you are Zidane Tribal. Your party had just successfully kicked Necron out of Gaia, bringing peace once again to the world. Suddenly, you and your comrades were teleported out of Iifa tree, and stood facing the mysterious tree from a cliff.

When you were just about to feel relieved upon being united with your friends, you heard the voice of your beloved brother, Kuja. You knew he was the one that saved you, and despite the major pain in the ass he had been – and his weird taste of fashion – he's still your brother.

So you decided to go and save him, inventing the fun-n-crazy game of Iifa-root surfing. Normal people would've died, but since you're the hero of the game, and it was the ending of the game, you succeeded in getting into the tree safely (gamers would've started a riot if you died in the surfing. I mean.. you have played the game for hours, trying to keep Zidane alive, and to have him dead at the end of the game is just…damn INFURIATING).

You began your search for the ex-villain, and managed to find him in such a short time (remember how long it took for you to have a mere glance of Kuja in the early part of the game). You two had a brother-to-brother talk. Alas, the conversation was disturbed by some roots that suddenly went berserk. They were threatening to harm Kuja!

Strong, intense brotherly love drove you into becoming his bio-shield. Before the roots had the opportunity to touch you, thus ending your life, the world went black and all of a sudden, you heard a loud, booming sound.

And so, the story begins…

It was dark and stuffy. Too dark that he couldn't see even his own hands. The thunderous boom of the Iifa tree was gone, replaced by a soft, muffled hum. It sounded… familiar somehow.

Zidane could not see anything in front of him, but beneath him, he felt Kuja's slow breathing against his skin.

He's still alive. Good.

"Kuja, you're there?" he asked, gently shaking what he thought was the older gnome's shoulders. However he got no reply. Kuja must be unconscious.

Zidane gingerly stretched his hands upwards, trying to feel any of the Iifa roots that had just made another attempt on his life, and Kuja's. Strangely, there was none.

Puzzled, he stood up and probed higher. Sure enough, there wasn't a single root around him. "What the hell's going on?"

He remembered seeing thousands of roots plunging towards him and Kuja. He tried to protect the so-called brother of his, then he shut his eyes, readying himself for anything that would come. Then everything became dark and quiet and…. rootless.

"I'm missing something," he said to himself. He went through the list again. Thousand of roots diving. Shield Kuja. Close eyes. Darkness and loud noise. Open eyes. Then darkness and silence. That's all.

No, wait. When he closed his eyes, there was a brief flash of light. He didn't see it directly, but even with his eyelids closed, he knew that there was a light. Just for a short time, but it was there.

"Hey, maybe the light saved us, Kuja," he told his brother, grinning. He got no response, though. Meaning, the guy was still out.

"Kuja," Zidane called, feeling for Kuja's face in the dark. "Hey, Kuja. Wake up." He felt the gnome's cheeks, and gently began slapping them. Kuja would've Flare Star'd him if he found what he's been doing. After a dozen slap, however, he still wouldn't wake up.

Zidane devised a new wake-up plan: cheek-pinching and feather-nose-rubbing. He tried the former first. But it was to no avail despite the fact that he had pinched Kuja's cheeks so hard that they felt like they were on fire.

They must've look very red at the moment. He had a pang of regret for not being able to see Kuja's face. It must be how it looked like when he was blushing.

The thought brought a grin to Zidane's face.

Then, he went on with the second plan. But before that, he needed a feather. He remembered that Kuja had some feathers on his hair. Or was it on his clothes?

Whichever it was, there was only one way to get the feather. Darkness made his sight useless. The most practical sense for finding things at the moment was – his sense of touch. Meaning, he had to… uh… touch? No. Not the right word. He had to… grope Kuja's figure to find the feather.

"Please don't let Dagger sees this…" he said slowly to himself. If she did, everything would be over! Everyone would think that he's a gay. Dagger would hate him. Steiner would surely have him beheaded. And… what if the young and innocent Vivi thought it was cool and decided to follow in his footsteps!

"Duh." He was being an idiot. He thought too much. So next time, don't think. Just do it.

So, he did it.

First, he searched Kuja's hair. That guy sure spent a lot on his hair. It was so soft. If anyone on the planet got silk hair, it's Kuja.

The hair was soft, it smells great, and gave you this urge to incessantly touch it. But that was all. No feather.

So, Zidane decided to search Kuja's ears. Perhaps he wore feather earrings. The blond gnome placed his palm on what he thought was the older guy's face. And he was lucky to find it on his first try.

Kuja's face was as smooth as it appeared to be. Most girls would've longed for that fair, unblemished skin. Well, enough compliment.

Zidane moved his hand down to Kuja's ears, and was disappointed to find it earring-less. God knows how much he didn't want to move his hands further down. Apart from the fear of being spotted by anyone, he would be officially dead if Kuja knew what he just did.

"So, Zidane. You're a homosexual. I must admit that I'm very surprised."

The words… it reminded Zidane of Brahne's malicious command to shoot down Prima Vista. Words that could bring his downfall and demise and ruin and death and… and…everything fatal.

"NO! NoNoNoNoNo!" Before he could stop himself, the words poured out of his mouth like a torrent. "I'm not a gay! This is a misunderstanding! Don't tell Dagger! I'm loyal to her, I am!"

So.. that's how the story goes, for now… I actually wrote this a few years back, and somehow found it by accident as I browsed through my folder. I must've had an idea on how the story is supposed to continue, but I forgot. So.. I guess this is just a one-shot. Ho ho ho

It'd be really nice if you leave a comment. Thanks for reading!