Disclaimer: As much as I hate to admit this, I don't own Tekken.
A/N: Done because last night I hit the bowling alley with my peeps from my old AP English class, and it got me missing high school. Yes, I'm a total nerd.
Chapter One: This has to be illegal
Michelle Chang hovered outside of her car, self-consciously checking her reflection in the window. At forty-one, she was still in wonderful shape (thanks to hours of training with Julia) with no white or even gray hairs visible among her brown strands. She modeled a smile, but immediately stopped when she noticed the small lines forming at the corners of her eyes.
Okay, it'll be fine as long as I don't smile. Michelle reassured herself. She pulled her jacket around herself a little tighter, cursing herself for even bothering to show up to a Tekken reunion. She was sure that Jun still looked the same, and Kunimitsu always wore a mask, so it wouldn't have even mattered if her face sagged down to her chest (although it might not be a good choice for the kunoichi to wear spandex anymore). And Michelle couldn't be sure, but she'd heard that Nina and Anna hadn't aged a day since the second tournament. She was sure to be the old maid of the group.
"Well, you're already here, might as well go in." she muttered to herself before walking into the grand hotel lobby.
"Michelle?" Lei asked once she'd made it to the party room. She nodded in acknowledgement. "Hey, long time no see!" the cop rushed over to give her a one-armed hug.
"It's good to see you again." Michelle said, making sure that the corners of her mouth barely lifted and her eyes didn't squint. Why does he even have to look the same! Secretly, she'd been counting on her old friend to look a little more like Wang and a little less like Jackie Chan.
"I think you've been doing yourself a favor, not entering the last few tournaments." Lei talked as he guided her in the direction of the bar. "You wouldn't believe the freaks that go to these things."
"You mean there's something worse than Paul?" Michelle joked, sliding onto the stool.
"Just be grateful that you don't know who Bob or Marduk is." Lei told her, sliding into the seat next to her. "I'll have a shot of whiskey." he added to the barkeeper.
"Just a hard lemonade." Michelle ordered, spinning in her seat so she could get a look around. She was happy to note that Ganryu looked like he was trying to sneak away from Wang, who was prattling on and on about something trivial. Kunimitsu was sneaking up behind Paul, going for his wallet. Too bad it's empty. Michelle thought with a smirk. Jun looked like she was having a pleasant conversation with Baek, while Bruce, Lee and Anna were obviously reminiscing over something. Nina was at the end of the bar, sipping at a tall glass. Kazuya was standing in the darkest corner of the room, his red eye penetrating through the shadows. Some people never changed.
"You know, this isn't so bad." Michelle said, turning back to Lei. The Chinese man was slumped over the counter, his shot glass empty. Figuring he must have been drinking earlier, Michelle grabbed her lemonade and took long gulp before getting up.
"Hi, Jun, Baek." she greeted as she approached them.
"Michelle, it's so good to see you!" Jun said, bowing slightly. Her eyes flickered to Lei, and she frowned. "Is he out already?"
"Yeah, all those crazy chases around the world must finally be getting to him." Michelle replied.
"Well, he didn't have to pass out when he was talking to you." Jun muttered into her drink, and Michelle rolled her eyes at Baek. It was common knowledge that Jun had spent all of her free time in the second tournament trying to hook her up with Lei.
"How's it been, Baek?" Michelle asked to change the subject.
"Wonderful, as of lately." he answered. "My pupil has finally started to take his training seriously, he hasn't stopped to vandalize property in weeks." he elaborated proudly.
Note to self, don't let Julia anywhere near Baek's pupil. Michelle thought. Judging by the look on Jun's face, she was thinking the same thing, except with Jin's name in place of Julia's.
"Anna, are you okay?" Michelle, Baek and Jun turned at the sound of Bruce's voice. Anna was sprawled on the floor, her glass reduced to shards on marble. Lee had crouched down and was examining her vital signs (among other things).
"The little slut probably had too much to drink." Nina slurred, wobbling off of her barstool. She grabbed onto Paul to steady herself, then pushed him to the side when he was no longer needed. "Step aside, I'll kick her awake." Nina walked about three steps towards her sister before collapsing. Lee paled.
"I think there's something in the drinks…" he said drowsily before falling on Anna. Bruce fell over backwards, and Michelle turned back to her old friends, horrified.
"How much did you drink?" Jun asked.
"I tanked about half before getting up." Michelle admitted.
"I had a margarita." Baek said, already kneeling to lean against the wall. "I'd rather not fall over." he explained when they looked at him.
"And I've been drinking these like medicine." Jun looked down at her traitorous martini. She and Michelle took their places on either side of Baek.
"I don't like this, not one bit." Michelle said before losing consciousness.
Kazuya shook his head from his corner. They were all stupid to accept any drinks from Heihachi, even if they were expensive and tasty bar drinks. Deciding that he had seen enough, he strolled over to the entrance, reaching for his keys as he walked. Before he could make it to the door, a rather large sack of potatoes hit him over the head, and he fell on the steps.
"Hmph, Kazuya Mishima taken down by a mere sack of potatoes." Heihachi mused. "Pathetic."
"I'll kill you!" Kazuya shouted, his eyes springing open.
"Holy crap!" Heihachi screamed before bringing the sack of potatoes down on his son's head more times than necessary to knock him out.
"Mother? Mother, wake up!"
"Not so loud." Michelle complained, attempting to roll away from the sound of her daughter's voice. However, it didn't work, as she was sitting upright in a seat.
"No, mom, it's important, you need to get up!" Julia insisted.
"Yeah, I figured that out." Michelle replied, reluctantly opening her eyes. Her arms were strapped to the arms of the chair, and looking around, she could see that she -along with many other fighters- was in an auditorium. She was right between Lei and Jun. Craning her neck, she could see Julia a couple of rows below her, kicking Ganryu's seat. At first Michelle thought it was funny, until she realized that Julia was trying to wake the larger man.
"No, Julia, he's fine the way he is." Michelle told her.
"Oh, mother, don't be petty." Julia said, but before Michelle could argue, a bell rang, echoing throughout the auditorium. Everyone else jolted awake.
"What?" Jun asked, confused. Michelle inwardly pouted. Jun looked even younger up close.
"What's the meaning of this?" Baek asked from the other side of Lei, and Michelle's jaw dropped. She knew that his hair had been salt and peppered just the night before, but now it was back to brown. His face looked younger, too, almost boyish, even.
"Jun…" Michelle said, still gaping at Baek.
"YOU!" Jin's voice could be heard from the front center. The stage light had gone on, and Heihachi stood grinning before them.
"What's going on you ugly freak?" Anna hissed from somewhere off to the right.
"Isn't it obvious?" Heihachi asked impatiently, gesturing to the dimly lit auditorium around them. The fighters took a few moments to exchange confused glances.
"Oh god, he's going to make us play Saw!" Xiaoyu screamed.
"I hope the key is behind your eye!" Miharu shrieked, clenching her eyes shut. Nina grit her teeth. She was seated between the two best friends.
"You better have a good reason for this, Mishima." she growled.
"Oh, I do." Heihachi said, grabbing the microphone off of its stand. "Welcome…to Heihachi Mishima's Iron School of Fist!" he proclaimed, spreading his arms out as he spoke.
"Iron school of fist?" Christie asked. "That doesn't even make any sense!"
"As you may or may not have noticed, I drugged you all with not only copious amounts of rhinoceros tranquilizers, but a youth restoring serum." Heihachi ignored Christie.
"Youth restoring serum?" Kunimitsu asked.
"Shouldn't we be more concerned with the rhinoceros tranquilizers?" Forrest Law asked.
"Yes. Everyone here has been restored to the age of seventeen." Heihachi nodded. "Except for Lili. She's still sixteen." The blonde wrinkled her nose at him.
"I had to give the older people a larger dose, hence, I set up a phony reunion with drinks full of youth serum. And rhinoceros tranquilizer." Heihachi explained his elaborate plan.
"Wait, then how did you get all the younger fighters?" Lei asked suspiciously. The younger generation fidgeted in their seats.
"Oh, that was simple, I just put up a sign that said free beer." Heihachi smirked.
"Actually, it said 'free bear.'" Julia said in a condescending tone. "I had to spell check it for you."
"Quiet, dog-kicker." Heihachi grumbled.
"Do not!"
"Wait, hold on." Eddy said, shaking his head in disbelief. "You turned us all into a bunch of teens so we could attend your stupid school?"
"Duh." Heihachi answered.
"Why? And why would we even attend?" Jun asked.
"One, because all of my soap operas were just cancelled and two, because if you don't…you get sent to the caretaker." Heihachi replied with an evil grin. "Now keep quiet and give your new teachers the utmost attention." As he swept his hand to the side the stage completely lit up, revealing two males and two females, all very familiar.
"Hi!" one of the girls, an extremely attractive brunette wearing a transparent minidress, pranced up to take the microphone from Heihachi. "I'm Selene Swan, a beautiful siren, and I'll be teaching you how to look good and stuff!"
"That's not even a class!" Asuka protested. Selene flicked her hair back, the small golden wings on either side of her head flittering in irritation.
"Well, it should be, and it looks like a lot of you need it." she sassed, sticking her nose in the air and walking back to the side. A tall blonde man took her place at the microphone.
"My name is simply Sasayaki." he greeted, red eyes hungrily taking them all in. Hwoarang in particular shuddered. "And I teach Theatre."
"Just what we need, another freaking Twilight." Jin muttered. Sasayaki winked before handing the microphone to a pink-haired girl with cat ears. She grinned, and her mouth seemed a little too big for her face.
"My name is Suzuki the Hacker." she said. "And I teach P.E." she cackled, falling to the floor in hysterical laughter. "Some of you will not make it out alive." she wheezed, and the fighters exchanged worried glances. When she felt that she'd laughed enough, she sprang to her feet and threw the microphone at the last remaining man.
"Uh…my name's Jim Urchin, just Jim." the middle-aged man looked like the only one old enough to be a high school teacher. "I run the study hall." he shrugged.
"Wait, so we only have four classes, and they're theatre, gym, study hall and looking good?" Steve asked incredulously. Selene smiled and nodded vigorously. "This is moronic!"
"And now I'd like you to meet the care taker, Janet." Heihachi said smugly. The auditorium shook as something large lumbered to the front of the stage.
"Ah, shit." Lee muttered.
"I'm scared." Lars whimpered to Alisa.
"You mean Marduk!" Bob yelled when the caretaker had stepped into the light.
"Yeah, Marduk in a dress!" Paul added.
"No," The caretaker insisted in a gravelly tone. "It's Janet!"
"Yeah, how dare you mistake her for me!" Marduk yelled in a tone exactly like Janet's. Everyone displayed open shock in their own special way. For Hwoarang, that was screaming and thrashing in his seat, as he was directly beneath the broad woman.
"Steve, gouge out my eyes!" the Korean boy pleaded.
"Now that's enough." Janet rumbled, and Hwoarang seemed to have lost the ability to speak. "Any more of that and you'll be facing a detention, mister." Hwoarang shuddered and twitched, trying to remember how to breathe.
"Why?" Michelle asked no one in particular.
"Why what?" Lei asked.
"Why this?" she pointed her chin at everything, from the fighters strapped to their seats to the morons on stage.
"It's obvious somebody hates us." Lei answered matter-of-factly.
"So, when do we start this stupid school, anyways?" Julia asked.
"Bright and early tomorrow morning." Heihachi informed her.
"Psst!" Baek whispered to get Michelle's attention. "Paul says we should just ditch as soon as they let us free." The older (well, not anymore, technically) fighters nodded, for once liking Paul's idea.
"And you better show up, or Janet will hunt you down." Heihachi said menacingly.
"There hasn't been a man I couldn't hunt down." The large woman told them proudly, and every man in the room lost a few shades of color.
"Good thing I'm a girl." Lili back-sassed, obviously not taking in the depth of the situation.
"That's what I'm for." Sasayaki told her, grinning wide enough to show his fangs.
"And I guess we're going to school tomorrow." Asuka said, and her friends nodded.
"This is ridiculous." Anna complained as soon as they were let loose in the hallway. "I already had to spend my whole high school career seducing teachers to get out of work, I don't want to have to do it again!"
"I just graduated." Ling mumbled sadly, and Miharu nodded.
As Michelle stepped onto the first step outside of the school, she caught her reflection in a window and blinked. When she was sure no one was looking, she smiled, and sure enough there were no crow's feet along her eyes. That's when it finally hit her. She was seventeen. The possibilities were endless.
End Chapter
A/N: And now you know why it's Nostalgic, I brought back my stupid Ocs from other fics, haha. No one ever complained about them before, and they'll do a good job driving our fighters crazy. Well, sorry it was a little slow, but it should get better. Review please!