A/N: Okay okay I'm sorry... but I started another story. I'm rewatching the Anime and I just couldn't help myself. D: Don't hate me! 3
Also, I noticed no one ever acknowledges Kid's illness as anything other than a joke, so here's a serious spin on it. My inspiration was the song "Obsessions" by Marina and the Diamonds, cause, well I love her, and also that song is stuck in my head. FYI this story is completely independent from my other two.
Speaking of which, a quick update on what's going on if any are interested! Just One Wish is not in anyway abandoned, I've just been a lazy bum. (sorry sorry sorry) And not to mention ALL the chapters I was working on got deleted. :( whatevs. Rewrite time! I'm hoping to get the next chappie out in the next two weeks or so. BEFORE EASTER FOR SUREIrreversible is another story, however. (Hahaha I'm so funny, see what I did there?) It also hasn't been abandoned, however I'm rewriting the ENTIRE thing. So if you're a follower of that, as well, I'll tell you guys through a/n in when I have that finished! Sorry I've been so terrible at updating guys. :/ In the mean time, enjoy my new story!
Rating: T-M (to be safe)
Warnings: Mental illnesses, child neglect, swearing, violence. Sexual content is unlikely.
I do not own Soul Eater
Prologue: Wipe the sad ideas that come to me when I hold you
Exactly 96 hours after he was born, Kid's mother was diagnosed with postpartum depression. She wouldn't look at him, let alone hold or feed her newborn baby. The woman didn't start outwardly showing these signs until she had left the hospital, unable to take care of him. Like a normal infant, Kid cried for milk, diaper changes, bedtime soothing; the whole lot of it, while she just couldn't find it in herself to respond. It was like she... Just didn't care. He got sick almost immediately, coughing fits and incessant crying his main indicators. She knew it was bad, knew it could be fatal to a newborn, but was completely apathetic about the situation. With mild concern for them both, she readmitted herself into the same hospital with little baby death hanging off of her, barely 2 days after their departure.
The staff kept watchful eyes on her at all times while Kid was taken care of in another room. Sweet, tender nurses handing him bottles, changing his diapers, singing pretty lullabies to him. Doctors checking him every few hours for a new report on his health. He recovered quickly, his mother's nurse more than eager to share the news. A bright grin and a few words later, and Kid's mother blandly nodded her head, hardly reacting. She wouldn't smile either, just blinked vacantly at the young woman as a sort of dismissal.
They held both mother and child for two weeks until she started to improve. Instead of some pudding here and there, she actually started eating proper food, like sandwiches and soup. She started talking to her councillor and nurses, if only a little bit. Rather then sleeping until noon, she was up at 8, patiently waiting for her breakfast.
"How are you feeling today, Kathryn?" The nurse questioned, walking in with a tray of food. Kathryn turned her attention towards the scrub-clad woman, giving an awkward half smile. The nurse internally sighed with relief; a sign it was a better day then yesterday, when the mother was as still as a statue.
To answer the question, Kathryn shrugged her shoulders up and down, mumbling a quiet, 'better' as the young lady approached.
"Thanks Ruth." The tray clattered lightly on the fold out table, plastic spoons and forks sliding with it.
"You're visiting Dr. Henrie today, isn't that right?" The Lady asked, moving over to the curtains to let some light in; it was a bit dark inside. Despite knowing the actual truth, Ruth decided it'd be best for the mother to share the information on her own accord.
"Yeah..." Her voice trailed off, eyes automatically looking down at the sheets. She didn't care much for her counselling sessions, but anything to 'get better,' right? First, though she wanted to ask... "How's Kid?" Grabbing the edge of the sheet, she rolled the fabric between her thumbs and forefingers and chewed on raw lips; she'd been doing that a lot lately.
"He's doing well, just woke up from a nap." She responded with mild surprise, trying to mask the enthusiasm in her voice. It was the first time in a while that the woman had been, not only looking well, but also inquiring about her baby. "Hardly been crying, probably one of the best behaved in there."
"May I see him?" This time, Ruth couldn't help the gentle smile that spread onto thin lips, giving the mother a quick nod. "I'll let Kid's nurse know." She scurried out of the room, leaving the mother to contemplate the reunion of her and her son after weeks.
Half an hour later and Kathryn was escorted to a separate room, where many other babies sat in clear cribs. Some cried, others wailed, and a few here and there were being fed and rocked by other staff members. With Ruth escorting her, Kathryn stepped around the small cribs to the very far right, where Kid was kicking and squirming in the flannel blanket that surrounded him. He mumbled out some gibberish, tiny infant hand reaching upwards.
Kathryn stepped forward, resting her hands gently on the railing. His eyes were wide open, staring at some point on the ceiling. Amber eyes, just like daddy's, glittered in the fluorescent light as his unknowing gaze shifted to meet hers. She blinked at him.
"Wanna hold him? He's really quite tame." A small, round woman came up beside her, looking at the child as well. Kathryn startled, withdrawing her hands from their position and taking a step back. "I'm his nurse." The older woman smiled, crinkling the edges of pale green eyes. The mother's eyes flitted down to the golden name tag snapped onto her scrubs, "Janice" printed in perfect black letters.
"I-... what if I drop him?" She asked, folding her hands into her stomach as though that could prevent any harm to the infant.
"How can you know if you don't try?" The elderly woman asked, lifting Kid up and out. He mumbled unintelligibly, knotting his fists and tucking his limbs in nicely. Rather than dressing him in the pastel blue the other's adorned, Kid's footsie pyjamas were entirely black with tiny little skulls littered up the entire thing. Kathryn smiled sadly, almost wishing the divorce hadn't gone through. Almost.
Janice held out the little boy to his mother, earning a worried glance from the woman. She hadn't touched the infant in nearly two weeks now, and suddenly she was anxious at the idea of being in charge of the little guy. What if she did it wrong, hurt him? Squished him too tightly or dropped him on the floor?
Wearily, she opened her arms and encompassed Kid's tiny warmth into her chest, snuggling him close. It felt... natural to her, but at the same time uncomfortable and foreign. Like, maybe he belonged there, but was better off somewhere else. She clutched him a bit tighter, holding Kid over her shoulder. He was so... small, so little. Speaking of which,
"Now, he's a bit underweight for a two week old, but he's as healthy as they get." The old nurse watched on with a smile, glad that the child could begin bonding with his mother, if only for a little while. Kathryn smiled lightly, going against the swirl she felt in her chest.
Because no matter how close she held him, she couldn't shake the feeling of wanting to put him back down and walk out of the room, never bothering to return.