then maybe you could understand,
why i feel this way about our love..
if you could only see how blue her eyes were
when she said she loved me..."
-tonic
When she awoke, the world seemed somehow altered.
Quistis Trepe groaned as the world came into focus, groaning even louder when she realized what time of the morning it was. It should be a crime to be awoken at such an hour. She grimaced, shivering, and pulled the covers over her head, only to find that she wasn't satisfied. Her body trembled from the cold, and she couldn't figure out why, until she realized that her feet had been ridded from the sheets sometime during the night, and were now exposed. Grumbling to herself and pushing a lock of gold from her face, she sat up, threw the covers over her feet, and flopped back down, curling into a ball, and cursing Balamb's crappy heating system.
~~~
Squall Leonhart, it could
be safely assumed, was in a foul mood. And with good reason. Good reason
supported by the fact that it wasn't even the crack of dawn yet, and he
was already patrolling the Garden, per Cid's orders. Christmas' Eve's morning,
and he was already busy. It was a relief to know that, after his patrol
and some paperwork, he was free until after Christmas. Thank Hyne and the
other gods.
The patrol went with relative ease, and only once
did he find anything of specific nature. It appeared as some cadets had
gotten.. well, a little too friendly with one another, and he found
an article of clothing on the floor, wrinkled. Although comical, Squall
was hardly in the mood to be amused. He kicked it out of his pathway, finished
up his patrol, and headed toward the cafeteria, desperately in the need
for something to wake him off.
~~~
It was nearly four hours
later when she awoke.
The sun had come outside, although it didn't matter
much, because the clouds covered most of the sunlight's warmth, and rays.
It was considerably more of a bearable temperature when Quistis found the
nerve to throw her feet over the side of the bed and actually get up, and
she silently praised that Garden had gotten its ventilation problem fixed
within the occurrence of that morning. She groggily made her way to her
own private bathroom, stopping only momentarily to glance out of the window.
It was a winter wonderland. Breath-taking, the ground
was littered with white, almost blinding colored snow, frost gathered at
her window until it had fogged over almost completely. The Garden had stopped,
apparently, somewhere in the heart of the Tribia Mountain Ranges, as all
Quistis could see for miles around were lovely green trees, sprayed with
snow. It hardly improved her mood.
Another Christmas spent alone, the teacher
thought sourly, leaning over the sink as she brushed her teeth furiously.
She looked at her reflection staring back at her sadly, wondering how she
had managed to get that far yet another year without a companion by her
side. Heart wrenching.
At least she wouldn't be the only one.
All the years before had been spent with Zell, being
the only other from Squall and his 'posse', that didn't have a mate. They
could relate in that sort of manner, if nothing else. However, it appeared
as though this year Zell had paired up with the pretty redhead pig-tailed
girl from the library. Her hopes had sunk for someone else to complain
to about the holiday, until she discovered, with rather twisted happiness,
that someone else would also be spending it alone.
Squall Leonhart. Well, well, well, well, well!
That was certainly going to prove interesting.
It appeared (from what he told, anywise) that Rinoa
was off to see some relatives for the holiday. Which, naturally, Quistis
didn't buy. For one thing, Rinoa had always much rather spent her free
time with Squall, and secondly, the blond couldn't seem to find any of
Rinoa's relatives that she actually got along with. She knew better then
to buy a silly story such as that. Besides, it was obvious that Squall
and Rinoa's relationship was hitting some rocky territory and they really
needed some time away from one another. Being an excellent Squall observer,
Quistis could see the obvious signs that the two lovers were on the verge
of tearing the other to pieces.
It brought, oddly, great satisfaction. Quistis,
for one, had never been very fond of Rinoa to begin with, mainly due to
her childish, whiney demeanor. But even still, it was painfully obvious
that the real reasoning was the fact that Rinoa had accomplished something
Quistis had never hoped to have done on her own: captured Squall's heart.
And so Quistis went off to dress, feeling very pleased,
indeed.
~~~
"Whoo-hoo!" Selphie Tilmitt
bounded into the cafeteria, accompanied by a beaming Irvine, Zell, and
his new girlfriend, Aya. Her gleeful shouts awakened Squall, who, with
mortification, realized he had fallen asleep in his oatmeal.
"Its CHRISTMAS TIME!" she all but screamed, bounding
near him at a high speed rate. Avoiding being collided with, Squall put
his hands up, to ward her off.
"Goin' for a new look, Squall?" Irvine asked, almost
timidly. "Seems you've got some... ah, 'gunk' on your face."
Squall glared at him in response before wiping it
away with a nearby napkin. Zell grinned his maniac grin, and Aya put her
hand to her mouth, to cover her giggles.
Squall sighed. "What are you guys doing here?"
"We're going to go outside!" Selphie announced,
" Its a beautiful day out! I think we can build snowmen, and make snow
angels, and throw snowballs... wanna come?" She peered at him anxiously,
hopeful, as Irvine looped an arm around her shoulder, hugging her close.
"Uh, well.." Squall began. He just wanted to relax.
But he knew Selphie was a persistent one...
"C'mon Squall!" Zell urged. "It never snowed by
Matron's... Stop bein' such a pill."
Squall shook his head. "I have paperwork, and--"
"Oh, Squall. Live a little, will you?"
The 'posse' swiveled their heads around in the direction
of Quistis Trepe, who was in the doorway of the Cafeteria, apparently having
heard the entire conversation. Squall arched a perfect eyebrow, causing
his scar to wrinkle across his face.
"You in, Quistis?" Selphie asked.
"Naturally," Quistis said, good-naturedly. She approached,
smiling at Squall. "And I'm sure Squall would love to join us. Wouldn't
you, Squall?"
There was a period of silence, where all eyes had
trained on the gunblade specialist. He glared at Quistis, who smiled and
folded her arms across her chest in triumph. After a minute of unnerving
quietness, Squall sighed. "Oh, all right."
"YAY!" Selphie screamed in Squall's ear. He winced.
"Everyone, get your hats and coats! We're goin' outside!"
~~~
"Eat this!"
SPLAT!
Zell laughed at Irvine's misfortune, who, unluckily,
had been caught in the line of fire and got smacked upside the head with
a snowball. Narrowing his eyes in revenge, he packed up his own snowball
and hurled it back in Zell's direction, who dodged and broke into a run.
Irvine gave a hoot and chased him.
Selphie, just a little ways down from them, was
busy on the ground with Irvine's hat on, making a rather extravagant snow
angel, and giggling as she watched the two boys rush past. Aya was to the
left of her, trying her best to make a snowman. Squall and Quistis were
further down, surveying the entire thing, Quistis with a scarf wrapped
around her, and much heavier snow gear, while Squall was trying his best
to be macho and clad in his usual clothing.
"Aren't you cold?" Quistis asked absently, not once
taking her eyes off the rest of the group.
"No," he answered, eyes narrowed as he surveyed
everything that went around him, although he did appear a bit chilly. He
tried his best to cover up his shivering.
"Not at all?" This time she took the time to lock
gazes with him. He looked away.
"No," he repeated, sounding irritated.
"Fine, fine!" Quistis replied, sounding just
as cranky. She threw her hands up in the air as signaling her defeat, and
then shoved them into her pockets. "Excuse me for being concerned."
"Well, sorry," he said, shrugging. "Whatever."
"I'm so glad you've opened up," she returned, dryly,
pushing golden strands from her crystalline blue eyes, a winter wonderland
all of their own. There was a moment of silence, and she continued. "Say,
are you enjoying yourself?"
"No."
"Oh, Squall, they were right! You are such
a pill!" she gave him a playful shove, although a little too hard, because
he almost lost his footing, and nearly vaulted on his face. He caught himself
at the last second, however, turning to glare daggers at her.
"Whoops." She covered her mouth to keep from giggling.
"Is that all you can say?" he spat.
"Hey, Stupid!!"
"What no--" he turned around, only to find that
his face met a snowball, colliding with him at full force. Temporarily
blinded, he staggered, snarling as he grabbed at the snow that covered
his face, while spitting it out of his mouth disgustedly.
"HAHAHAHA!" Zell roared with laughter, doubling
over in it. "You looked, too! HAHAHA! Right in the kisser! I don't regret
a thing! I'd do it again in a minute! I -- ARGGGHH!!"
Squall had launched himself from his position near
Quistis, and landed on Zell, beating on his head until he had managed to
tackle the tattooed martial artist to the ground. Zell attempted to scramble
away, but couldn't under the added weight, pleading as Squall proceeded
to beat the living daylights out of the poor boy.
"Boys! Boys!" Aya was running forward, looking
generally concerned. But the others knew better then to interfere. Zell
would escape, (mostly) unharmed. And besides, Zell was... Zell, and needed
this sort of thing every once and a while.
Quistis turned away, smile escaping and spreading
on her lips.
~~~
The group didn't head
back inside of Balamb until hours later, when the sun was already dipping
beyond the horizon, lighting the sky up like christmas lights. Selphie
ogled over it, voicing her opinions aloud, indicating certain colors she
found the most beautiful, where about Zell was finished looking at the
sky with a simple 'cool!' and throwing an arm around Aya who laughed. He
had a black eye where Squall punched him, and was limping slightly, but
other then that, was perfectly undamaged.
Squall was bringing up the rear as they filed their
way back into the Garden, Quistis just in front of him. As she entered,
she realized that he had stayed behind, out in the snow, head tilted ever-so-slightly
up at the swirling sky, as though admiring it. She signaled for the others
to hurry on inside, and went back out to join him, the two standing side-by-side.
For a moment the only sound was their harsh breathing in the chilly evening.
"Lovely, isn't it?" Quistis breathed at last, turning
to face Squall and smiled. But he wasn't paying attention. His gaze never
left the sky. She watched him curiously, until finally, he turned to enter,
not saying a word.
"Squall?" she couldn't keep the hurt out of her
questioning tone of voice.
"... Yeah, it is," he answered her previous question,
and without another word, disappeared inside.
~~~
There was a large, extravagant
tree set up in the hallway of Balamb - huge, towering - so high it were
as though it were a miniature skyscraper, brushing the ceiling ever-so-slightly.
It was covered with artificial snow, and lined with lights, which were
now blinking, casting the room with its glow. Cadets and SeeDs alike were
crowded around it, adding presents beneath its shade for friends and love
ones to take in the morning. Such was a tradition in Garden, and happened
every year. And every year, the gathering always happened.
Quistis usually received many presents - mostly
from the Trepies, who couldn't get enough of her, but also from her friends.
And those were extra special to her, and had a higher worth over the others.
It seemed as though everyone gave her something every year... except one
person.
Squall.
"Wow... look at it! Its even bigger then last year!"
Aya gushed, eyes lit up like fairy lights. Zell, nearby, grinned.
Coming with the other traditions, another one was
that each SeeD and cadet was to place one ornament on the tree. It was
obviously a big event. The cafeteria ladies were walking about, handing
Styrofoam cups out filled to the brim with egg-nog. Students were grabbing
and fighting over it, and everyone was generally having a good time.
Quistis smiled and chatted among everyone else of
simple things, but her eyes were focused on the one person of her affections
for the rest of the evening. He blended in with the shadows, keeping to
himself, not being one with large groups of people. Balamb Garden's Lion,
trapping himself in a corner, ignoring the world around him.
~~~
The evening grew on,
well into the night. So late it was, that students were up way past their
curfew. But it was Christmas, so Headmaster Cid had allowed an exception,
as he did on very few occasions. The evening, to say at least, was magical.
So long the night grew on, it was steadily approaching
midnight. But even still, the students continued to enjoy themselves, chatting
on carefree, milking the night for all it was worth, as it only came once
a year.
And at last, a SeeD that had attended Quistis' class
the year before, announced that it was officially December 25th. The whole
Garden, it seemed, that were crowded around the tree, and scattered elsewhere,
too, burst into applause and cheers. She reminded herself amusedly that
it could all be mistaken for New Years Eve had it not been for the tree
and the presents.
There was music playing, and people were dancing,
talking loudly, drinking their eggnog, and generally having a good time.
Zell had dragged Aya into some sort of weird dance he had come up with,
spinning her so violently that Quistis feared she would fall. But amazingly,
she managed to keep upright, and, although flushed in the face, appeared
to be having a grand time.
Irvine had Selphie in a lip lock, and some of his
fangirls were fuming. Headmaster Cid was holding Matron's hand, watching
everything about him in delight, his eyes as bright as the lights that
decorated the tree. Nida was talking to a pretty little blond, and even
Seifer, Fujin, and Raijin had made their inside and were by the presents,
although how they got invited in the first place was beyond the blond beauty.
And Squall was still in his corner, oblivious to
the celebration around him. He had long since abandoned his egg-nog, and
was now eying the exit, as though he wanted nothing more to flee the scene.
And, as though he could read her thoughts, he slowly
made his way to the exit, as though to slip away, unnoticed. And if not
for Quistis expert observing skills, he might just have. But she raised
a hand and called to him, appoaching him at a swift rate.
"Squall!"
He looked at her, alarmed. And much to her surprise,
he wasn't frowning. Or at least looking at her in a way that told him that
he clearly didn't want her company. In fact, as much as it awed her, he
seemed to appreciate her companionship.
You're lonely, aren't you?
...Maybe.
You miss her.
Its not going to work, Quistis. As much as I
try, its not going to work. This isn't a fairy tale. The adventures are
over. And sometimes, I think thats what kept us together. The adventuring.
But now, in one anther's presence, its official that the storybook has
ended, and we're expected to live happily ever. But we can't. Because we're
still human. And she has wants and needs that I can't deliver, because
I never have before. I love her, Quistis, I really do, but our personalities
collide, and with horribly results. Its just not going to work. It can't.
Squall...
I just.. don't know anymore.
Silence flowed between them, and he looked
away. She pitied him, and for a moment, felt sorry that the things that
had brought Squall and Rinoa together were now tearing them apart. She
could clearly read off of his face that he was in pain.
She's left, Quistis. She isn't coming back.
It was like an unwelcoming surprise, and
she gaped at him, wide-eyed. Oh. So thats the reason he was so down. It
all came together, puzzle pieces being formed to make one big picture.
She knew the relationship had problems, but she didn't know... didn't know
that it was that severe.
Oh, Squall...
Don't touch me. I don't need your pity.
The music had changed. It was somewhat upbeat,
with a man singing about his love for another woman, who, judging by the
song, seemed obsessed over him.
Squall... Dance with me.
He glared at her. "What?"
Please, Squall. Dance with me today, and I'll
be sad with you all you want tomorrow. Its a party - people are laughing,
dancing, having a good time. And you shouldn't waste it by being depressed.
Just one dance. Thats all I ask.
He stared at her, and for a fleeting moment,
she feared he would reject her offer and depart. But, his answer took her
completely off guard. "Fine." And he took her to a spot where they could
dance, separated from everyone else.
And so they danced. And he was a magnificent dancer,
much to her surprise and amusement, obviously having practiced since his
first confrontation with Rinoa Heartilly. And even more surprising still,
it seemed as though all his problems had been washed away from him as they
danced, him twirling her wildly. They danced even more after the first
one they shared together. She giggled, and even he had to emit a laugh,
clearly enjoying the brief moments they spent together.
"I need a drink," he said, after dancing for what
seemed like hours. And in reality, she realized, it probably had been.
"Okay," she said. And she grinned. "Don't you feel
better now?"
"Yeah, I guess," he shrugged, and turned away from
his dance partner, off to search for some egg-nog. She watched him go,
and he turned back mid-way to the table where the extra cups filled with
egg-nog were, he smiled ever so slightly, the ends of his mouth curling
upwards. "Oh. And thanks, Quistis."
She waved him off. "Oh, stop! You're embarrassing
me!" she joked, and with delight, took note that he was still smiling.
He took his cup, drowned it in one gulp, crushed the cup, tossed it, and
sauntered back over to her, fanning himself.
"Its hot," he said, and she could tell that he was
hinting at something.
"Are you suggesting we head outdoors?" she asked,
a little hurt. She wanted to continue dancing. She enjoyed his presence,
and the feeling of his body pressed against her's...
"Just for a moment," he assured her.
"Then we can dance again?"
"Whatever," he shrugged, and as an afterthought,
he added, "If you want."
"Which I do." She poked him in the gut, and he smirked,
making his way toward the door. He had opened it, and was now facing her,
waiting for her to exit first. A perfect gentleman. What an interesting
character he was. She was so very pleased that she could uplift his depression.
"Hey, Squall!" came Selphie's voice, and it looked
as though it was taking all of Squall's willpower not to groan. He turned
to face the spunky brunette, who was aiming a camera at him and Quistis.
"Look up!"
And he did, and with a blush that crossed his facial
features neatly, he realized he was directly under a piece of mistletoe,
which had been oh-so-conviently hung in the doorway. How could he have
missed it? And why didn't he notice it before?
"Do whatcha gotta do, Squall!"
And his lips met Quistis'.
It was brief, though it felt like it lasted a lifetime.
It made her feel like she was flying - soaring through the heavens. He
even put his hand under her chin, as though to bring her up into
the kiss. It was so pure and beautiful and everything she had ever dreamed
for it. It made her want nothing more then to cry.
There was the flash of the camera, and when they
pulled away, he licked his lips. And Quistis laughed, because it appeared
as though he was trying to seduce her, although she knew, deep down inside,
that it wasn't his original intention at all. He appeared confused at first,
but it melted away into the softest of smiles.
"Merry Christmas, Quistis."
"Merry Christmas, Squall."
The name Aya belongs to the story "Is It Too Late to Love You?" I
hope the author doesn't mind my borrowing of the name. It just sort of
spilled out on the computer screen ;) Merry early Christmas, everyone!
Laugh and grow fat! ... never mind. ^^