Chapter One- Tomorrow
He was all alone, he had no more friends, there was nobody left to help him. Not that he wanted anyone to suffer with him. No he liked it all alone in this smelly, roach infested, safety hazard, old, apartment. He liked wallowing in self-pity, which is best done alone. He knew soon he'd have to come out of hiding and face his punishment like a real man would. But he wanted to wait a little bit, just a few days rest without any pain, that was all he needed. Then he could take his punishment like a man, then he would be able to walk into Garden with his head bowed in shame and ask the headmaster if he could come back.
He had left his only real home for no reason. Just to fulfill a dream that could never really be. Now he had to deal with the consequences and one of those consequences may be that he would no longer be a student of the Garden, and all his training would go down the drain. He should have had more self-control, should have had more strength and more will, but he didn't and now his life may be the cost.
Hyne, did he remember that moment so clearly, it was the last thing he remembered clearly. Her calling him a boy, with the President in his arms, his gunblade to his throat. He was a boy then and still was, he had never become a man and Edea was right about that. Yeah that's right, that was Edea, and Matron is back now. There had been so much pain afterwards, Edea had said to him that if he just agreed to help the pain would stop. It never did though no matter what he did he never did it right or it wasn't enough, so he just stopped listening to her and tried to focus on the pain right before the first fight. From then on it was like his body wasn't his anymore, it was like he was outside of it. Except for certain times than he was looking through his eyes but couldn't do anything. He felt everything, every hit, every slap, ... Every kiss, everything.
Hyne, don't think about that, he didn't want to think about the memory's he just wanted to forget about it and move on. What he done was so... so..., god he didn't even have a name for it, it was just not suppose to be done. Never.
Tomorrow he would go to the Garden; tomorrow he would try to regain his life. Tomorrow he would face his punishment what ever that might be and go at it head on, prove to the world that he was not that same person that had killed so many innocent lives, so many young students.
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Matron sat on her bed gently smoothing out the wrinkles. She was thinking about something she had been thinking about for weeks now. Seifer and his fate. What was to become of him? Would he come back to Garden? Could he even look her in the eyes? Of course she knew he was alive, she knew this from when Ultemicia had them under her control and made them do what ever she had wanted. Seifer had been strong at most times, refusing to do her dirty work, unlike her who had given up and ran away from the pain, he had faced it, determined just to focus on the pain and fight back as much as possible.
But the things she had done to Seifer were un-forgivable; she had violated his trust just to make the pain stop. She did anything just to make the pain stop, unlike Seifer who wouldn't do anything and made Ultemicia spend more time on him than her, leaving her with less pain. Seifer probably didn't know it, but his being stubborn had saved her from going insane.
She started to cry, how could she of hurt one of her own children like she did Seifer. She had whipped him, beat him, and... God what had she done. How he must feel right now. "Matron, honey, what's the matter? Why are you crying?" Cid asked pulling her into a hug.
"It's Seifer, he should be forgiven like I was. It wasn't him who did those things, it was Ultemicia. She controlled him and me, and made me do horrible things to him. Why can't people see that, they forgave me, why can't they forgive him?" She cried in Cid's shoulder.
"He did worse things than you, even if it wasn't really him, people see his face when they think of there dead loved ones." Cid explained, rubbing her back.
"But Cid, he fought harder than I did, oh if you knew how hard he fought, you'd be so proud of him, he was strong Cid, so strong." She cried as she fell asleep, exhausted.
He was all alone, he had no more friends, there was nobody left to help him. Not that he wanted anyone to suffer with him. No he liked it all alone in this smelly, roach infested, safety hazard, old, apartment. He liked wallowing in self-pity, which is best done alone. He knew soon he'd have to come out of hiding and face his punishment like a real man would. But he wanted to wait a little bit, just a few days rest without any pain, that was all he needed. Then he could take his punishment like a man, then he would be able to walk into Garden with his head bowed in shame and ask the headmaster if he could come back.
He had left his only real home for no reason. Just to fulfill a dream that could never really be. Now he had to deal with the consequences and one of those consequences may be that he would no longer be a student of the Garden, and all his training would go down the drain. He should have had more self-control, should have had more strength and more will, but he didn't and now his life may be the cost.
Hyne, did he remember that moment so clearly, it was the last thing he remembered clearly. Her calling him a boy, with the President in his arms, his gunblade to his throat. He was a boy then and still was, he had never become a man and Edea was right about that. Yeah that's right, that was Edea, and Matron is back now. There had been so much pain afterwards, Edea had said to him that if he just agreed to help the pain would stop. It never did though no matter what he did he never did it right or it wasn't enough, so he just stopped listening to her and tried to focus on the pain right before the first fight. From then on it was like his body wasn't his anymore, it was like he was outside of it. Except for certain times than he was looking through his eyes but couldn't do anything. He felt everything, every hit, every slap, ... Every kiss, everything.
Hyne, don't think about that, he didn't want to think about the memory's he just wanted to forget about it and move on. What he done was so... so..., god he didn't even have a name for it, it was just not suppose to be done. Never.
Tomorrow he would go to the Garden; tomorrow he would try to regain his life. Tomorrow he would face his punishment what ever that might be and go at it head on, prove to the world that he was not that same person that had killed so many innocent lives, so many young students.
~(~ _____________________________________________________________________ ~)~
Matron sat on her bed gently smoothing out the wrinkles. She was thinking about something she had been thinking about for weeks now. Seifer and his fate. What was to become of him? Would he come back to Garden? Could he even look her in the eyes? Of course she knew he was alive, she knew this from when Ultemicia had them under her control and made them do what ever she had wanted. Seifer had been strong at most times, refusing to do her dirty work, unlike her who had given up and ran away from the pain, he had faced it, determined just to focus on the pain and fight back as much as possible.
But the things she had done to Seifer were un-forgivable; she had violated his trust just to make the pain stop. She did anything just to make the pain stop, unlike Seifer who wouldn't do anything and made Ultemicia spend more time on him than her, leaving her with less pain. Seifer probably didn't know it, but his being stubborn had saved her from going insane.
She started to cry, how could she of hurt one of her own children like she did Seifer. She had whipped him, beat him, and... God what had she done. How he must feel right now. "Matron, honey, what's the matter? Why are you crying?" Cid asked pulling her into a hug.
"It's Seifer, he should be forgiven like I was. It wasn't him who did those things, it was Ultemicia. She controlled him and me, and made me do horrible things to him. Why can't people see that, they forgave me, why can't they forgive him?" She cried in Cid's shoulder.
"He did worse things than you, even if it wasn't really him, people see his face when they think of there dead loved ones." Cid explained, rubbing her back.
"But Cid, he fought harder than I did, oh if you knew how hard he fought, you'd be so proud of him, he was strong Cid, so strong." She cried as she fell asleep, exhausted.