Up Close and Personal – Chapter 1
Regionals were finally over and people were chatting excitedly as they left the auditorium. Sebastian was happy for the New Directions; surprising himself, he even felt they deserved the win, but he had other things on his mind. He approached Kurt and Blaine, quickly offering his congratulations to them and the rest of the group. Then he said good-bye to Wes, Nick and Jeff and headed out to his car. He knew where he wanted to be…needed to be, but he was still nervous. Sebastian was going to the hospital to see Dave.
Sebastian walked into the room to find Dave asleep; he looked so peaceful that Sebastian didn't want to wake him so he quietly moved to the chair by Dave's bedside. Looking at him brought back that horrible night at Scandals, and the hurtful things Sebastian said to him…things that Sebastian had desperately wished that he could take back the minute he had said them.
Sebastian had been protecting himself by playing the role of a self-centered narcissistic asshole for so long that he found it hard to turn off. When Dave had approached him that night, Sebastian had been anxious, and had chosen to ramble off some insults which had actually been designed more to insulate himself rather than specifically to hurt Dave. He never in a million years considered that Dave would actually take what he said to heart, or that his comments might contribute to the big picture that had resulted in Dave lying here in this hospital.
Sebastian's gaze drifted to Dave's hair...It had grown out some but it looked so soft and gave Dave a boyish appearance. Sebastian's hand itched to touch the silky locks, to see if they really were as soft as they appeared. Dave's eyebrows were perfect, not too bushy and not sculpted. Dave's nose was straight and, in Sebastian's opinion, very handsome. Dave's lips were his favorite feature and what captivated Sebastian most was just how soft they looked. They made Sebastian want to nibble on them until they opened and let him in. Sebastian flinched inwardly remembering his insults from the bar again.
Sebastian shook his head; Dave was not the type he normally dated, and didn't fit within Sebastian's usual MO…He liked to date and fuck pretty boys so that he could always maintain control. He was too afraid to be with someone who really turned him on, because he was afraid of losing that precious control. Secretly, however, Dave was exactly his type; he turned Sebastian on like crazy although he would never have admitted it before.
As Sebastian's gaze traveled south, he noticed the purplish bruises on Dave's neck and his breath hitched. Dave's chest was rising and falling in his slumber and Sebastian watched for awhile to make sure his breaths were even. Dave's hand was lying palm up next to where Sebastian was sitting and it was all he could do not to reach out and take his hand, but he was scared to wake him up. Instead, Sebastian pulled his chair as close to the bed as possible and put his head down, staring at Dave's hand. Sebastian's last thought, before falling asleep, was he owed Dave an apology and he knew if he left now he would never work up the balls to come back.
Dave awoke to the knowledge that there was someone sitting next to his bed with their hand in his. At first he thought maybe Kurt had come back for a visit and had dozed off, but the soft light in the room showed that it was Sebastian instead. Dave was confused as to why the guy was even there,there and more importantly why was he holding his hand? Dave slowly tried to disengage his hand from Sebastian's without waking him but as soon as he moved Sebastian sat right up, gripping his hand firmly.
"What are you doing here?" Dave asked softly.
Sebastian tried to shake off the sleepiness as he croaked out, "needed to see you…"
"Why?" Dave whispered, afraid his voice would betray his excitement. Sebastian was everything Dave liked and wanted in a guy, but was afraid that he would never have. Sebastian, like Kurt, had a beauty to him that fascinated Dave. Sebastian had perfect skin and the most stunning green eyes Dave had ever seen. Yet, unlike Kurt, Sebastian was not overly feminine,feminine and retained more muscle mass without being bulky.
"I-I need to apologize…I-I need you to know I never meant to say those things to you and… and that none of it was true," Sebastian stammered.
"Why?" Dave stared at him. Sebastian started to blush, pissing himself off since this was something he usually never did, but as he began to open his mouth to answer Dave cut him off. "I mean, why isn't any of it true?"
"Oh!" Sebastian blushed again. He took a deep breath and looked Dave right in his eyes. "You may not believe me, but I do find you attractive, David, beautifulgorgeous really, but that's not the point…the point is that..." Sebastian trailed off, finding it difficult to continue. Breathe, Sebastian. You can do this!
Sebastian's voice trailed off as he noticed the smile on Dave's face. "It's not really funny but I suppose I deserve you laughing at me…"
"I am not laughing at you; I was thinking that you look absolutely adorable all flustered and talking a mile a minute…," Dave said.
Sebastian blushed again and looked back at Dave as the boy tugged on Sebastian's hand, startling him. Sebastian hadn't even realized that Dave's fingers were still entwined with his own... Sebastian scooted his chair closer to the bed.
"No, come here," Dave insisted. "I can't come to you."
Sebastian sat up and leaned into Dave.
"Closer," Dave whispered.
"If I get closer I will be in your lap."
"Yup, that was the idea," Dave joked.
"Davide, I don't think that-"
"Stop thinking and please come here."
Sebastian got up from his chair and carefully sat on the bed, trying not to hurt or jostle Dave.
Dave reached up and curled his hand around Sebastian's cheek. "So soft," he whispered before pulling Sebastian down to place a gentle kiss on his lips.
Sebastian sighed and kissed Dave back. Their kisses were soft,, barely brushing again each other's mouths. Sebastian's hands crept up Dave's chest., Tas the Warbler leaned forward and pressed himself against the jock's body until he was draped over him and kicking the kiss up a notch.
Sebastian's mind was whirling. What the hell was he doing?! He wanted this, really wanted this if he was honest, but he was so scared that he started to shake.
Dave pulled back, "Are you ok?"
"No,YesNo, …yes…I don't know. We shouldn't - I shouldn't …you're hurt…I shouldn't attack you in your hospital bed."
Dave laughed softly. "I don't think you attacked me. In fact in this moment I feel better than I have in a long time."
"Yes, but that's because you're all doped up and you have no idea what a fuck up I am…"
Dave frowned, "Stop that! You made a mistake, you apologized, and I am forgiving you. My s-suicide attempt had nothing to do with that night - so I accept your apology and if it will make you feel better you can continue to kiss me."
"I'm scared if I start kissing you again I won't stop," Sebastian breathed.
"I'm ok with that," Dave whispered, smiling.
Sebastian ran his tongue across Dave's bottom lip and Dave opened up to give him access. Their kisses went from soft, tentative touches to mouths crashing against each other. Sebastian's hands found their own way into Dave's hair and he moaned loudly into Dave's mouth. Meanwhile, Dave's hand moved from Sebastian's cheek to the back of his neck and held himheld him close. His other hand moved up Sebastian's side until it rested at his heart. He could feel the singer's racing heartbeat and he smiled into the kiss.
"What?" Sebastian pulled away slightly.
"Your heart is racing… I like it," Dave replied.
"I should probably go," Sebastian said as he started to sit up. However, Dave's embrace only tightened.
"No, I want you to stay and cuddle with me. Please."
"What's gotten into you, David? I feel like we are having major role reversal right now."
"Well, not really. I am still on suicide watch so I have been seeing the psychiatrist here. Dr. Dillon, she helped me to see that I need to start acknowledging how I am feeling and then find positive ways of expressing them. So I have been lying in this bed, with nothing to do but think, and what I came up with is that in the past the things I wanted and felt overwhelmed me. So I would withdraw. I was too chicken to talk with someone who could or would help me. I am working on being open and honest about my feeling to those around me."
"This is how I feel about you, Sebastian. I am very interested in getting to know you better. The kisses? They are an added bonus," Dave smirked.
Sebastian considered the request, mentally giving himself a kick. If I don't take a chance I may never get to again, and I am so tired of being alone! He smiled at Dave I can do this; I'm strong enough to do this.
Sebastian stoodSebastian stood up and removed his blazer, draping it over the chair. He kicked off his shoes next while removing his shirt and tie. As he continued undressing, Dave's breath caught audibly. Soon Sebastian's belt and pants followed his shirt onto the chair and then he looked up at Dave.
Internally, David was having a moment,moment; his eyes were devouring Sebastian's long muscular legs before traveling upward to the boxer-briefs clinging to his crotch, then onward higher to Sebastian's undershirt. The cotton garment brought a frown to Dave's face.
"I thought you wanted to cuddle, dDon't like what you see?" Sebastian asked trying not to get upset.
"I would prefer you to be shirtless, but I know this isn't the time or place,," Dave laughed.
Sebastian's surprised eyes shot up to Dave's.
"I am teasing you, come here, Sebastian," Dave said, holding out his hand.
Sebastian took Dave's hand as Dave pulled back the covers and tugged him down against his side. Sebastian curled up, half on Dave, half next to him, as Dave wasted no time in covering him up and winding his arms around the boy. Sebastian laid his head over Dave's heart relaxing into his hold as Dave leaned in and kissed him on the forehead.
"See this isn't so bad, cuddling is good right?" Dave chuckled into Sebastian's hair.
"I wouldn't know; I've never cuddled with anyone before. Usually I get what I want and then 'I'll call you, don't call me'" Sebastian whispered.
"Well then," Dave tightened his hold on the boy in his arms, "We are going to help each other do things we never have before."
Dave had no idea how long they lay together before they fell asleep, but he was instantly awake when he heard the door to his room open.
The nurse came into the room and promptly stopped as she took in the sight and Dave put his finger to his mouth with a smile.
The nurse smiled back at him, glad to see her patient's grin; it was the first one she had seen in the three days that he had been there that actually reached the young man's eyes. Quietly she spoke to Dave, "Do you need any pain medicine or anything? I was doing my rounds and wanted to check on you."
Dave shook his head. "I think I am fine now," he said, flexing his arms around Sebastian.
"OK, well it's not usually hospital policy to allow guests to stay in the bed with a patient, but I think I can manage an exception for you this time," she said with a smile., "Let me get you both another blanket."
The nurse turned to the closet and came back a moment later with the extra blanket, which she promptly used to cover the boys. "Do you want me to dim that light more or shut it off?"
"I don't want him to freak if he wakes up in the dark, so maybe just dim it so he can still see?"
"Sure. Let me show how to do it from your remote."
After she turned the light down and reminded him to call her if they needed anything the nurse left to continue her rounds and Dave looked down at Sebastian who was still sleeping on his chest, their legs wrapped up in each other. He carded his fingers through Sebastian's hair – kissing him softly over and over again. He couldn't believe this boy was in his arms. A combination of fear and amazement struck him as he thought about how he had almost missed this! He promised himself right then and there that he was going to do everything in his power to get better and make this up to everyone, especially his dad! A few minutes later, Dave fell asleep with a smile on his face for the first time in over a year.