There were three images. One of Dan walking down the street. Another of Dan smiling at Serena as though they had just met up randomly. It was the third, that truly grabbed Blair's attention though. Serena was in the foreground; she was obscuring much of the shot with her hair and long limbs, but her right arm seemed to be moving up and toward Dan's face… It was impossible to tell what was happening for a certainty, but it was abhorrent, whatever it was.
Against her better judgement, she checked out what people were saying in the comments. It was the usual annonymous stew of sexual innuendo and lame jokes. Several were making the assumption that there was a kiss. No one was claiming to be the person who took the pictures though. She was tempted to ask a question, but wasn't sure if finding anything out was worth interacting with these people.
Blair found that she couldn't stop thinking about it. Dan and Serena. Again. What was worse; it started to disrupt her concentration. She would be focused on some essential task, and that image would enter her mind…it had to end. Dan and Serena would not be Dan and Serena again. She would not allow it.
"Dorota!" Blair shouted with some irritation as she rifled through one of the drawers of her desk.
"Yes, Miss Blair?" Dorota asked as she hurried into Blair's room.
"Have you seen my black leather bound notebook?" Blair asked.
"No, Miss Blair." She shook her head. "I not see notebook since I transfer contacts from notebook into new phone."
"And that would be fine," Blair said with irritation. "If you had transferred all of my contacts."
"You say anything over two year old is 'stale' and not worth time." Blair waved a hand impatiently at her maid.
"Give me a hand looking for it then." Blair continued looking through the drawer she had started on. "Keeping a hard copy serves absolutely no purpose if I can't find it." She said irritably. Half a minute later, Dorota tapped her on the shoulder and handed her the notebook. Blair smiled and opened it, her eyes scanning rapidly.
"Miss Blair?" Dorota asked. Blair looked up and met her eyes. "You have dinner with Mr. Chuck tonight."
"I'm aware of that Dorota." She said dismissively, returning her attention to the notebook.
"Red-haired demon princess and man with girl-hands come in fifteen minutes." Dorota said. Referring to Stephanie Rimley and Randall March, two people Blair had hired to stuff all the information she would need to replace her mother into her head in a very short period of time. Technically, Eleanor was staying on to help Blair on a temporary basis, but Blair intended to make an impression, both to the people at the company and her mother. "They stay for two hours tonight, which means Miss Blair needs to get ready for dinner date now."
Having found what she was looking for, Blair tossed the notebook onto her bed, pulled out her phone and swiftly dialled a number. She held up a finger to call for silence.
"Hello, is this James Duffy?"
"Yes." A male voice answered uncertainly.
"This is Blair Waldorf." She said. There was a long pause and Blair smiled.
"I remember you." The voice had a weary tone to it now, and Blair's smile widened.
"I need your services."
"I don't do that anymore." Blair let the silence play out. Actually vocalizing threats was crass and often unnecessary. Finally the man sighed and spoke again. "What do you want?"
"Don't worry, nothing illegal," Blair paused and frowned a little. "…at least, I don't think so. I need a few dozen pills that look exactly like viagra, but are actually placebos."
"That's… an interesting order…. not to pry into your business Ms. Waldorf, but there are several different brand names of erectile medication and each looks different. Is that a concern?"
"Possibly." Blair responded.
"I could provide a selection?"
"Excellent." Blair nodded. "Tomorrow at ten o'clock, the usual place?"
"Agreed."
Blair ended the call.
"And now I can get dressed, if it will calm you down." Blair said, opening her closet.
"Maybe on date you should ask Mr. Chuck how to run company without exploding." She made a gesture with her hands, spreading them apart in a mime of an explosion. "You have too much stress Miss Blair. What you need viagra for? Mr. Chuck…?" Blair held up a hand to stop her maid from continuing.
"I can't run my mother's company the way that Chuck ran his. Even if I could, I wouldn't. He only trusted his advisors because he had them followed by private investigators. Do you know what that means?" She asked rhetorically as she picked out clothes. "It means that he ended up trusting only the people he could most easily and completely destroy; personally and professionally… and naturally, those people are not necessarily the best employees the world has ever seen." She laid some of her choices on the bed. "It was the only way he could 'run' a billion dollar company and still spend most of his time drunk and high. Not to mention all of the time he used to spend with prostitutes or easily charmed socialites."
Dorota didn't respond for a long time. "Are you happy Miss Blair?" She asked finally. Blair looked over at the maid and saw her concerned expression.
"I'm fine Dorota." She said.
"I need Chuck to bring me there, because I wouldn't even be welcome without him." Her mouth twisted into an ironic smile at the thought that she was dependent on Chuck for an invite to the Van der Woodsen penthouse. "But once dinner starts, I have to pick a fight with him. At which point he will walk away, as he always does."
"But why Mr. Chuck have to leave?"
"Lily has to invite me to stay the night because I'm drunk and 'emotionally vulnerable'. If Chuck is still there, she won't offer, because the assumption would be that he would get me home safely. If he's gone, she'll be socially obligated to offer a spare room." Blair paused, her expression thoughtful. "This could get ugly. Remind me to call my mother and tell her to expect and disregard a concerned call from Lily."
Blair felt a tingle of excitement run through her as she and Chuck entered the elevator of Lily's building. She might have gone too far in her pre-dinner drinking preparation. She laughed and Chuck looked at her with his eyebrows raised. She smiled serenely in response.
"So, you fake it?"
"No, I have to actually be drunk. If I tried to fake it, Serena would know. Believe me, her instincts in that area are unparalleled."
Lily greeted them and escorted them to the sitting room.
"What can I get you to drink?" Lily asked them with a smile.
"A Single Malt? I imagine my father has stocked a few good bottles here." Chuck offered an ironic smile. Lily returned his smile.
"A martini?" Blair asked. Lily nodded and went to give the caterers their drink orders.
She took a seat and chuck did likewise. Bart was seated across the room; he was in a conversation with Eric, but Blair noticed that his eyes met Chuck's for a brief but intense moment.
Lily came back and handed them both their drinks.
"Blair, I know that you and Serena have had your differences recently," She said diplomatically. " but I hope you can convince her that she shouldn't follow Daniel to New Haven."
"Connecticut?" Blair blinked, her thoughts a little disconnected. "I'm not sure…?"
"Apparently, Daniel will be attending Yale next year?" It was half question, half statement. Lily was assuming that Blair already knew. She hadn't known, but she nodded anyway hiding a flash of strong emotion, well aware of Chuck's presence. "Well, Serena intends to follow him there. They're going to… I don't even know…" Lily waved the hand that wasn't holding her drink vaguely. "…rent an apartment together or something, it's ridiculous." Blair took a gulp of her drink.
"I'll do what I can." She offered finally; Lily nodded.
"Thank you." She shook her head. "Sometimes, it seems like she makes her decisions by thinking about what would bother me most." She looked at her watch and sighed.
"Serena will be late because Serena is always late. It would be best if I can get Chuck to leave before she arrives."
"Why Miss Blair?"
"After she arrives, Lily might decide to serve dinner right away. Then I'd have to make a scene at the dinner table."
"How you pick fight with Mr. Chuck?
"That won't be a problem." Blair said somewhat grimly.
Blair rose from her seat and went to take an empty one next to Bart. She noticed an exchanged glance between Lily and Chuck as she sat down again. Bart smiled at her in greeting.
"It's good to see you Blair. I've heard some interesting things about your recent… career advancement. Your mother must have a great deal of faith in you."
"I'm doing my best to justify that faith. Do you have any tips?" Her voice was slightly louder than normal. "I'd be grateful for any advice you can offer me." Bart glanced in Chuck's direction for the briefest of moments.
"I hope this doesn't sound like a criticism Blair, because it's not, but no one your age can run a company as large as your mother's. You're intelligent and strong-willed, and eventually I'm sure you'll be more than ready for the job... but right now you lack the necessary experience." Bart looked only at Blair as he spoke, but Blair could almost literally feel a wave of heat roll off of Chuck from ten feet away. "I'd advise you to wait. I know this seems like a great opportunity to you, but it could actually kill your future."
"My mother is staying on temporarily to help me acclimate." Blair said.
"It's not just about making the right choices. Because of the circumstances of your… selection, people will be unfair in their assessments of you. Every choice you make will have to result in positive things for the company. If anything goes wrong, and things always do, it will be blamed on your inexperience. Even if the situation was completely beyond anyone's control…"
"You don't need his advice Blair." Chuck said, breaking into the conversation forcefully. He rose from his seat and pointed at Bart. "That is a man who has to fake his own death in order to avoid dealing with his problems." Lily rose and put a hand on his arm
"Charles…" She said in a placating tone. Chuck held his father's gaze for a moment before turning to Lily.
"I'm sorry Lily. I have some work to do that I've neglected." He strode out of the room without a backward glance.
"Chuck…" Blair said, rising from her seat swiftly and attempting to follow. She faked a stumble next to Lily and the other woman caught and steadied her.
"He won't be fit to talk to tonight Blair." Lily said studying her, Blair let some misery show on her face. "Stay here for the night." She smiled "Besides I'm still counting on you to talk some sense into my daughter when she finally decides to make her entrance."
"What happens if you get invite?"
"When I get invited to stay, I find an opportunity to slip into Lily's room and play hide and seek for Bart's pills."
"Miss Blair, Old-Bass might not even use little blue pill." There was anxiety in Dorota's voice. "And if no, then this all risky waste of time."
"His wife is ten years younger than him. Not to mention the fact that his wife's very recent ex is also ten years younger than him. You tell me Dorota, pills or no pills?"
"Pills." Dorota admitted reluctantly.
"Relax Dorota. Breathe. I'm not breaking into an embassy."
Despite what she had told Dorota, when she started to search the master bedroom, her heart was beating extremely rapidly. It seemed as though someone would walk in at any moment. Luckily for Blair, Bart didn't feel the need to hide his pills, so she found them in the bedside table. She made sure they were what she was looking for, and swapped out real for fake.
"How many unsatisfying and/or embarrassing sexual encounters can a relationship survive." She asked herself rhetorically.
"Why you do this Miss Blair." Dorota shook her head.
"If I break Bart and Lily up. Lily will find her way back to Rufus; for some reason she hasn't been able to break free of him completely since she met him. When that happens, Serena and Dan will break apart. They've never managed to be together simultaneously, and for good reason; that whole thing is just weird. And best of all, none of it can be traced back to me."
"Did Blair speak with you?" Lily asked her daughter.
"Yeah, she said 'New York is better than Connecticut.' and then she walked away. You know that she's drunk, right?"
"She's had a tough evening Serena."
"What happened?"
"Before you arrived…" Lily started to explain then waved a hand impatiently. "Never mind that for the moment. Explain to me why you're so intent on following Daniel out of state."
"Because Dan got me a job?" Serena shrugged and spread her hands. "There's going to be a movie based on his book after all, and I'm being paid to help him finish the screenplay. And then I'll be a part of the production team."
"This is a purely professional arrangement?" Lily asked skeptically. "You should be careful…"
"…My relationship with Dan is none of your business." Serena interrupted her mother. "And if I were looking for relationship advice, I'd ask someone who's gone more than a couple of years without getting divorced."
"So, there is a relationship?" Lily persisted. Serena gave a frustrated sigh and finished the wine she was holding by upending it.
"Empty." She showed her mother the empty glass and walked away.
Blair hesitated in front of a door in Brooklyn. This wouldn't serve any purpose, but she needed to know about Yale and she wasn't going to leave until he gave her an explanation.
Dan answered the door himself, his eyebrows rose and then lowered at the sight of her. Their eyes locked for a moment.
"Come in…" He shrugged. "I guess."
"Manners are the cornerstone of civilization." She said as she walked in. "You may want to look into them."
"If we're being well-mannered, then you should have called before just stopping by." Dan shook his head with mock sadness. "You've put me in an awkward position because I don't have any tea or crumpets to offer you. I have two day old coffee," He waved a hand at the coffee maker in the kitchen. "And expired dairy products." He pointed at the fridge.
"You haven't answered any of my calls, texts or emails in months."
"You haven't tried to reach me in a month and a half." He countered. "What do you want Blair?"
"I found out, during one of the more unpleasant nights I've ever endured, that you will be attending Yale this fall."
"That's true." He shrugged.
"I wanted to give you the chance to explain how it could be that I didn't even know that you'd applied?" Blair cocked her head slightly. "It seems like at some point when we were a 'we' that you might have given me a head's up that you'd be leaving the state for what? Two years?"
"An interrogation? I don't owe you any explanations Blair." He shrugged and pointed at the door. "You know the way out."
"And there's nothing you want to know?" Blair asked folding her arms. Dan met her eyes.
"Answer for answer?" She nodded. He brought a hand to the back of his head, thinking, before waving it and shrugging. "I made a lot of plans when it became obvious that I wasn't going to be able to prevent 'Inside' from being published. I applied for transfers to a half dozen schools. I thought about seeing america; traveling the open road." Blair rolled her eyes at that cliche. "I had a few other ideas." He shrugged. "But the fallout wasn't quite as bad as I thought it was going to be, and those plans became irrelevant. Until…" He paused and then went on. "until having someplace else to go seemed like a great idea again." His phone rang and he impatiently ended the call. Blair wondered involuntarily if it was Serena who was calling. Her mind dutifully showed her the image of Dan and Serena again; she felt a headache coming on… and along with it, some unpleasant impulses.
"Your turn." She said, maintaining a neutral tone and expression.
"I know." Dan said and then paused, thinking. "Okay. There's a man who has slept with hundreds of prostitutes, in fact, I'd say it's possible that the number has actually clicked over into the thousands." Blair felt a hot flush of anger and her jaw clenched. "Between them, and the women he employs as servers and assistants, nearly all of his relationships with women are merely transactions. What do you think are the chances that this man views any woman as more than a commodity?"
"Not good." Blair said curtly looking Dan in the eye. "My turn?" Dan nodded, although he was clearly unsatisfied with Blair's two word answer. "What happened between you and Serena that got you back together so suddenly?"
"I don't know if we're 'back together'." Dan said. "But I felt bad about some of the things I'd said, I called her to apologize... she didn't answer my first ten calls, but finally she did. About that time my agent informed me that there was renewed interest in a movie of my book." Dan shrugged. "Serena still seemed like a natural fit for the adaptation."
"Guilt employment. Your conscience at work." Blair said cynically.
"Why didn't you just break up with me?" Dan asked.
"That doesn't really matter now does it?" Blair said, and turned to leave.
"That's not an answer." Dan said.
The only reply he got was a door opening then closing.
Cracks started appearing all over the place. Even third hand, Blair could see the slow grinding end of Bart and Lily's ill-conceived marriage coming. Bart didn't show up to event after event, leaving Lily to make his appologies. Chuck took call after call from someone. His voice remained low, but his words came fast and furious. It was at this point that Blair became aware that Lily was actually a part of Chuck's plans somehow. She was working with him, and her estrangement from her 'husband' was damaging Chuck's plan. Blair found that she didn't really care. If he couldn't manage it without Lily, then so be it.
On the other hand she did care that it was taking so much time for their misbegotten relationship to die. Dan and Serena would be leaving New York, so Lily would have to run into Rufus sooner rather than later. She growled softly, frustrated.
"Miss Blair?" Dorota asked her apprehensively. She offered Blair a tray that contained a light lunch.
"They're just too old Dorota, they move like glaciers;" She shook her head and added softly: "...massive hunks of slow-moving ice."
Blair moved her computer screen so Dorota could see a picture. It was Dan and Serena, somewhere in Brooklyn. Dorota looked at Blair warily.
"Do you have any idea who this is?" Blair asked.
"Miss Serena?" She half-asked.
"No." Blair pointed at a figure in the background. "Her."
Dorota took a closer look. Rufus Humphrey was in the background talking with a blond woman, they were both in profile and out of focus but Dorota didn't think she recognized her.
"I don't know."
"Neither do I, but how am I supposed to get Rufus back together with Lily, if he's already with someone else?"
"Maybe they not meant to be together." Dorota shrugged. "Maybe Miss Blair should move on…"
"I don't give up. Unlike some Brooklyn types, I go after the things I want."
"What do you want?" Her maid asked, exasperated.
"Right now? A fresher looking salad." Blair said, examining her food. She looked up at her maid expectantly. Dorota sighed and left with the tray. Blair turned her attention back to her computer.
Initially Blair didn't see any way to identify the woman Rufus was making eyes with. Gossip Girl might catch a few glimpses of him in the background, but he wasn't important enough to warrant focus.
Without any real hope, Blair did a basic search 'Rufus Humphrey'. The first hits reminded her that Rufus was actually a notable person to a few sad souls who were apparently unable to move on from twenty year old generic rock. She switched to an image search… maybe he still had fans interested in his everyday movements…
Whether he did or not, Blair never found out, because her question was answered on the first page of results and on and on. The woman was Alison Humphrey… Dan and Little J's absentee mom.