A/N: Don't even know where to begin? O.K. so its my first DW fanfic, my first Amy fanfic, and a bunch of other First are happening here, along with a bunch of other seconds, and thirds and so on and so on, now I am Babbling so I shall stop. :D K -Deepbreath- K
Disclaimer: I don't own DW, would love to though, so I'm first in line if you want to be give it away! Cause I've got rent, and other bills to pay on my own and can't afford anything if it isn't free lol, blabbing again! Gosh look how nervous I am. -Deepbreth- R+R please, any and all Grammar/spelling mistakes are my own. I have yet to get this BETA-read, just had to put it out as soon as I was done before I lost the nerve, two coke cola bottles have been enough to get me through this and I hope they are enough :D So once I am blabbing and shutting up. Read and Enjoy!
Lost Child-ness
She wonders when all her child-ness left her and she grew up. When her heart turned hard and emotions were locked. She begins to think back, standing before a reflection she had thought was lost so long ago, of a when it all began.
Was it when the men in the dark blue uniforms came to her door? The lights of their vehicles causing a small crowd to form around, just outside her home, as the two police officers talked to her babysitter. Was it the first night, in her new town, with an aunt she barley remembered meeting, that she promised her self the tears would stop. Because crying wouldn't bring anyone back. Was it when she finally figured out that all she had here, at this new place, was her self?
"Off you go now child" A push forward and she was in her room, again. "I don't want to hear any more nonsense about the people in the wall, you are getting too old for such childish things" a harsh accusations was playing on the young red head's lips, as moments ago her aunt gave her the same title. "I have a get-together of sorts later tonight and shall be back home sometime tomorrow morning. I want you to be asleep still by the time I come back to check on you, in your own room"
"This isn't my home" she let this one slip. Her temper rose just a little. Each night, her aunt left her here all alone. She was fine with it, use to it even, even with the woman living with her daily they never really conversant much. Being here and not wasn't much of a difference. The door closed and she was left alone, tucked into her bed, with the click of high heels as the last sound between her and her aunt. "This isn't any where close to home" she muttered once more as she concentrated on her aunt's footsteps to hear for her departure.
With the sound of the front door closing and a car taking off moments later, she was on her knees in a hurry, hands clasped before her as she began her prayer, her wish.
She wonders if maybe she got some back when he crashed into her life. If that with him there before her, ready to say the day, the night, she could be carefree again. Not one thought of her parents who left her alone with an aunt that left her every night. He was there when she called out for help; a doctor that could fix everything with a bounce in his step, and blue little metal stick in his hand.
But then he left, not one thought went through her head of him leaving, but he did. He left with the promise of being back in five minutes and while she packed, clothing and teddy all tossed into an old carrying case, she wondered how long she really would wait.
Struck with the remembrance of that child enthusiasm came back to her, along with that came her answer.
Forever
She fought then. To keep that feeling, to keep the doctor, she fought tooth and nail, though mostly tooth, as she had a thing for her therapist hands. You'd think they would have learned after the second one.
She stuck to her guns, under the taunting of school children, the hard stares and pity smiles from her therapists'. She and her aunt still ignored one another while she grew up in the house that was never home.
Truthfully she was ecstatic when it didn't come to that Forever and she was quiet mad when it took him twelve years, T-w-e-l-v-e- Y-e-a-r-s, to make a appearance. But she loved it all the same because with him her heart seemed to beat stronger, and she felt something. The therapists' accusations and the taunts of old school children fell onto deaf ears. She was herself around him and her smile was bright once more.
Here now, in the bathroom the TARDIS provided she smiled as if she had just found an old friend, in a reflection starring back at her through the mirror.