Twas Not My Fault
Based on William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet
Romeo and Juliet Creative Project
April 5th, 2011
ELA 10-H Ms. Kimmit
SETTING
Two weeks following the events of Romeo and Juliet, in a supernatural realm which houses both Death and Fate. Act I continues from noon until dusk.
CHARACTERS
FATE: an 'ageless' male form struggling with accusations that come from being Fate, specifically those from Romeo and Juliet's relations.
DEATH: An alpha female who is in love with Romeo, but resentful of all the 'baggage' that came with his death; sister of Fate.
ACT I
SCENE 1
FATE alone on a balcony; sunny, sometime around noon.
FATE: A fortnight hath passed since my dear sister
Claimed fair Romeo and Juliet. [with amusement] A
More clay-brained couple, I've yet to see. Their
Love-suit proved their undoing. Love at first
Sight – Ha! They might as well have been gazing
'pon the cockatrice! Star-crossed they say, well,
I say the fault is not mine. [angrily] Fie! Man has
Never been towardly, but I should think
That they possess some knowledge, some sense! Oh -
[slowly, mockingly] But no! Every time humanity has
A default to which it does not own, whose
To blame? [forcefully] Fate! Me! I! 'Tis my fault I make
Thee abide by thy decisions? No! Yet
Those blameful criminals say demurely,
[Mockingly] "Twas fate! Twas not me!" [tiredly] Alack, I feel for
The likes of Helen, the dispensation
Rather than the true causer. Alas, when
Will my intent be known? [with passion] Who will be first
To uncharge me? To cry "halloo" and sway
Their company's condemnation to its
Rightful wearer? [with spite] For it twas bawdy nurse
And friar's fault youth ended in a hearse.
ACT I
SCENE 2
DEATH in a hallway; very dimly lit with only a few candles burning near the end of their wicks
DEATH: [with anger] Reprobance to that cursed Juliet!
Damnation to her, her kinsman Tybalt
Too! And County Paris, Mercutio,
And Lady Montague! Enough unwanted
Souls! [slowly, with affection] Oh but Romeo, you are welcomed;
A light cast upon the darkness of my
Eternity. Thy radiance hath no
compare 'cept the sun itself. [With frustration] Had I had
thee but two moons earlier, thy doomsday
Would have saved thee from that guinea-hen. Oh!
We could have been so blessed-fair without
That hag. But blessed-cursed are we now.
A harpy to rival and thy mother
To heed twenty years too soon. How could you
Let such a trull corrupt thee when I thought
Thee unassailable? [With excitement] But wait! I know!
Tis not thy fault you were so abruptly
Taken by that callet; it was Fate's hand!
I must seek out that beloved brother
Mine. Brother Fate must be frank and disclose
Truth and reveal why secrecy he chose.
ACT I
SCENE 3
FATE on the balcony; it is now dusk.
Enter DEATH
FATE: [lovingly] Welcome sweet-honey sister. How doth thee
Fair this evening? Is aught the matter?
DEATH: [with disdain] Do not 'honey sister' me when you are
Cause for my great distress. Tell me brother,
Why must you thwart your only sister's love?
FATE: [tiredly] Does thou refer to the young Romeo?
Whom you have taken fancy to as the
Water nymphs do to those who gaze in their ponds?
And like these mermaids you have reached through the
Water, pulling your dear-beloved
Between thy deathly beauty and their life.
Demonstrate, please, how I have done thee wrong?
DEATH: [with exasperation] Does thou think ill of me? Is that why thee
Sends not only Romeo's earthly love,
Horrid enough as she is, but also
Romeo's mother and Juliet's kin
And then her wooer? Before-time you sent
The addle Mercutio. Two se'nnights
Lending mine ear to his endless prattle
And despiteful drivelling emptiness.
Why has thou tortured me with superfluity
Of troublesome souls? Pray, tell me brother.
FATE: [patronizingly, as if this was not the first time he had to explain this] When thou planned to shorten Romeo's life
I had already betrothed him to fair
Juliet. Your lack of indiscretion
Forced me to pare other lives as I would
A tree. It twas not the first time I've had
To forthright your unpathed ways. Dear sister
I beg you be more cautious henceforth.
DEATH: [dismissively] Alack, sweeting, tis seems you cannot do
Anything to make my love love me more
Than that foul, wretched Juliet. [With disgust] All he
Ever does is frolic with her and kiss her.
Tis seems that he is my Pygmalion.
[with mischief] Methinks that Cupid and his true arrow
Will be of more use. Farewell Brother Fate.
Soon Romeo's love will turn to hate.