The Best Man: A Side Story

Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist but I do enjoy tortuing Roy with the help of Hughes.

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Just a little something to help me get through a writer's block.

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Roy Mustang watched the newly married couple share their first dance. As sweet as it was he felt very out of place. Weddings always made him very uncomfortable, out of place. That and whenever a wedding come up everyone close to him, namely Hughes, would start bugging him about marriage and when he was finally going to settle down. So then why you might ask why he was here?

"This wedding has inspired me." Hughes announced with a wave of his hand as he watched other people join in and the band kept on playing. He could see Gracia and Elicia dancing in the middle and he couldn't help but smile.

Oh, yeah. His best friend had guilt tripped him here. Roy just rolled his eyes. "I'm sure it has."

"I'm serious! It's given me all sorts of ideas for when you get married. The ceremony will by in spring. Late April or early May, I think. That way it'll be sunny but not hot. A nice cool ceremony held inside so the quests won't freeze." Hughes scratched his chin thoughtfully, looking ever so proud of himself. "I even took the liberty of writing out your vows. They're wonderfully crafted full of life, devotion, and love. You'll love them."

"Hughes I'm not getting married."

"Sure you are. You're going to propose to her at the park. You'll be on the swings and-" He would have kept going but he was cut, quite rudely if you asked him, by his friend. People these days. No manners what so ever.

"You planned my proposal!" Roy asked in disbelief.

"Somebody has to. Heaven knows you can't get you paperwork in on time so you can't be trusted with your own wedding invitations." Hughes dismissed his outburst with a shrug of his shoulders. "Anyway you'll be on the swings when suddenly you'll realize that you've lost the ring! You had it when you arrived so it has to be close by. You jump off the swing and franticly begins sifting through the sand."

Roy shook his head. He couldn't have a normal best friend. He had to have one who was dead set on making his life miserable. "I can't just propose? I have to lose the ring?"

"Hey it's out of my hands." Hughes held up his own hands to emphasize his point. "You're the idiot who dropped the ring. Now where was I?"

Roy sighed and took a sip of his drink. He set his wine glass down and rested his cheek against his hand, bracing himself for whatever his best friend was going to say next. "I was franticly searching through sand."

"Right." Hughes rubbed his hands together in excitement. "So as you're panicking she'll get off the swing. She's just about to ask you if you've gone completely loony when something catches her eye."

"I suppose you've even got my fiancé picked out?" Roy asked with a hint of sarcasm.

Hughes sent him a small glare for once again rudely interrupting. "As a matter of fact I do."

Roy really wasn't expecting an answer from Hughes and nearly chocked on the piece of chocolate he had popped into his mouth. "I don't even get to choose my future bride!"

"Of course not." Hughes was really staring to get into telling the story of how Roy was to propose. He really was just too darn brilliant for his own good. You would think his friend would be more grateful for all his hard work. "Now as I was saying she sees something in the sand, she picks it up and holds it in the moonlight. The ruby sparkles at her. You turn around to see her and the ring. Gathering your courage you get on one knee..."

"And I pop the question." Roy stated.

"To put it bluntly." Hughes was only momentarily put down at his blatant statement. Seeing Gracia making her way towards him with their lovely daughter he decided he better wrap up his flawless plan. "She accepts and you gather her in your arms and twirl her around in your happiness. You live happily ever after with your three children: Maes, Anna, and baby Diego."

"You decided on our children!" This was really getting to be too much for the poor flame alchemist.

"Yep." Hughes looked quite proud of himself. "Two boys and one girl but you have to be careful with Anna. She's going to have the boys all over her when she's older. A real heartbreaker that one though Diego and Maes will be quite dashing themselves."

Roy felt a headache coming on. "So who's my mystery bride?"

"Oh, she's no mystery." Hughes said in an off-handed sort of way as he snatched up a couple glasses of water from a passing waiter. Placing them on the table he scanned over the various guests. "You already know her."

At this the colonel looked at his friend in a confused and curious manner. "I do? Who is she?"

Before Hughes had a chance to respond, Gracia had arrived with little Elicia tugging at her hand. Upon their arrival the little girl had let go of her mother's hand and leapt into her father's lap. "Papa!"

"Elicia!" Hughes stood up and lifted his little girl into the air. "How's my little princess? Having fun?"

She nodded her blond head furiously. "Me and mommy have been dancing. Did you see us? Mommy twirled me around until I was dizzy. Then I got to spin mommy around!"

"Did you now?" Hughes looked up to find his wife smiling at him and her eyes filled with laughter. Holding Elicia in one arm he handed his lovely wife a glass of water, which she gratefully accepted as she fell into the seat on the other side of Roy. She fanned herself with her hand.

"Oh yes." Gracia replied with a slight flush in her cheeks. "And now it's papa's turn. Mommy needs a chance to catch her breath."

Elicia beamed and turned to her father. Since he was holding her up there were face to face, and she gave him the cutest little face which was only emphasized by the fact that she was all dresses up in a fluffy pink and white dress with ribbons in her hair. "Will you papa! Will you dance with me?"

"Of course!" Hughes placed her on the ground. Taking a step back he gave her a deep gallant bow and then offered her his arm. "May I have this dance?"

Elicia giggled and took hold of his arm and together they walked onto the dance floor. Though Hughes had to bend down considerably to allow his daughter to hold onto his arm.

Gracia laughed as she watched her husband and daughter dance about the dance floor. They spun, dipped, slid, and various other moves that she didn't have a name for yet. It was only when she heard a rather loud sigh and a dull thud did she break her attention away from her family only to have it refocused onto Roy.

She looked at him curiously. "Is everything all right, dear?"

"Fine." He replied though it was slightly muffled by the cream-colored tablecloth. "Perfect. Just peachy. I messed up my proposal, got engaged to a girl I apparently know but don't know at the moment, and I'm going to be a father of three with a little girl who's going to be a heartbreaker."

Gracia let out a relieved sigh. For a moment there she thought that there was really something wrong with the young man. She stared at him with a small smile on her face. "You've been talking to Maes haven't you?"

"...Maybe."

"You know he only wants you to be happy." Gracia stated as Roy lifted his head so he can look at her.

"I know." He grumbled. "But he told me all the details of my future bride: the engagement ring I'm getting, when the wedding's taking place, my proposal, how many children we'll have, the gender of them, even the names! Not only that but he took the liberty of writing out our wedding vows. All of this and then he refuses to tell me who it is I'm spending the rest of my life with!"

She gave him a strange look. "You mean you don't know who Maes set you up with?"

"No." Roy grumbled miserably as he checked his watch.

Gracia shook her head. Maes wasn't kidding when he told her Roy could be a little dense but at the same time she felt that it was something deeper than simply being oblivious. She placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "Now that's were your problem is. You're lying. Not just to Maes and me but to yourself, as well."

Roy was completely thrown for a loop. He returned his attention to the crowd, searching over it as if he were looking for someone. "I'm not lying."

Seeing that Roy wasn't going to respond anymore and was busy searching the crowd over, Gracia went back to watching her husband and daughter dance. It seemed that somewhere in the time that she had spent talking to the poor man who was obviously in denial Maes had lifted Elicia so that they were the same height.

He had one arm supporting her little body and his other hand was clasped in her's. She similarly had one small arm placed on his shoulder and her other one was sticking straight out so that it was parallel to the floor his her hand enclosed in her father's. Their faces were cheek to cheek as they did an improvised version of the tango. Gracia couldn't help but laugh.

Roy couldn't help the fact that his attention was drawn to his best friend's crazy dancing. It wasn't until after he saw Hughes dip his darling daughter, did he speak up again. "You know who he has in mind, don't you?"

"Of course." Gracia nodded and before Roy had the chance to question her any further his best friend made an unexpected appearance.

Elicia had run off to play with some of the younger children, leaving her father without a dance partner. Glancing up his eyes had immediately fallen on his lovely wife who, in his opinion, looked absolutely radiant. With a grin a mile wide he walked up to her and held out his hand. "May I have the honor of a dance, fair lady?"

Gracia laughed at her husband's antics as she placed her smaller hand in his. "It would by my honor kind sir."

So the two happily married couple headed for the dance floor, but before they had gotten too far Gracia turned her head so that she could see the sulking bachelor. The corners of her mouth turned up ever so slightly. "Roy?"

He lifted his head up.

"You know who he has in mind. Even if you refuse to admit it." That was the last thing she said before disappearing onto the dance floor.

Thus Roy Mustang was left alone to wallow in his thoughts, trying to convince himself that he had no idea what Gracia was talking about. That he wasn't lying to anybody. Especially himself. He had absolutely no ideas for his future wife. And even if he didn't he didn't have time. There was simply too much work trying to get to the top and he couldn't afford to have any distractions. No woman could understand that. Absolutely no one.

"Roy?"

The man was so absorbed in his thoughts that he had failed to notice the presence of another. Snapping his head up he found himself staring into truly unique eyes of his top lieutenant. Recovering from his initial shock he relaxed a little. "Don't sneak up on a person like that. You nearly gave me a heart attack."

"You shouldn't startle so easily." Riza Hawkeye took a seat next to her superior officer watching all the happy dancing couples. Her eyes eventually landed on Havoc who was looking quite happy dancing with a pretty brunette. "Looks like Jean's in a better mood."

Roy looked up to find the blond smoker was indeed looking quite happy. "Well, that didn't take long now did it?"

You see, the wedding they were attending was none other than that of Armstrong's darling younger sister, Catherine Elle Armstrong. Though technically it was now Mrs. Matthew Samuel Banik. She had married a miner who had arrived asking for directions. It seemed that he had gotten on the wrong train to a job he was starting and had just started walking until he finally appeared at the Armstrong estate. A charming young man if not a bit rough around the edges with dark hair and eyes.

As the story goes Catherine had heard his booming voice as he talked to the servant who had opened the door and had come down to see what was going on. According the shy bride it was love at first sight. He had a sun kissed tan and was every bit as strong if not stronger than her older brother and for that she loved him all the more.

When the wedding invitation had arrived in Havoc's mail he had stayed in bed for three days before returning to work looking like he hadn't slept (certainly hadn't bathed or shaved) in those seventy-two hours. Though depressed he had agreed to come and at one point during the ceremony looked like he was ready to crawl under the pew and assume the fetal position. But looking at him now as he spun the girl in his arms around you would never had guessed.

Their comfortable silence was broken when Riza spoke once again. "What were you thinking about?"

"Huh?" Was the oh so intelligent response that Roy had.

The blond simply rolled her eyes as she smoothed out the soft red fabric of her skirt that she had bought just for this occasion. "I was walking straight towards you and you didn't even notice until I was standing right in front of you saying your name. So what were you thinking about?"

Roy shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He really didn't want to have to explain that his best friend was planning his wedding and luckily he didn't have to for at that moment the bride and groom themselves walked over to them. It seemed they were making rounds to all the guests, talking and laughing.

The good-natured groom shook both Roy's and Riza's hands. "Thanks for coming. I trust your having a good time?"

"A wonderful wedding. I wish you two the best of luck with the rest of your lives together." Roy lifted his wine glass as a toast before taking a drink.

"I've never seen you so happy." Riza gave the blushing bride an encouraging smile. "You look lovely, Catherine."

She turned an even darker shade of red and clung to her husband's arm a little tighter. "Thank you Miss Hawkeye. You look beautiful yourself."

The blond sniper looked down at her simple outfit of a long red skirt with a black flowers and leaves patteren with a simple black top to match. She returned her attention to Catherine. "Why, thank you. So I saw you two share your first dance."

At that the bride buried her face into her towering husband's shoulder. He wrapped an arm around her and smiled broadly at the two before him. "Have you two danced yet?"

"Us?" Roy asked with slightly wide eyes

"Well, yeah." The big groom stared at him expectantly. "There's still a few songs left before we cut the cake. I'm sure you're lovely lady friend would love a dance."

Both Roy and Riza's eyes had widened expenentially.

"Oh, no." Roy protested as all three pairs of eyes were focused on him. "I think you're mistaken we're not-"

"No need to be shy!" Matthew helped, though it was more of a pull, the colonel out of his seat. As he did this Riza stood up to make sure the groom didn't accidently harm the man. Before either of them knew what was happening the over powering groom had a hand on either guests back and had pushed them onto the dance floor. "It's a wedding! Dance!"

Once he had regained his balance Roy looked from the beaming groom and the gentle bride then to Riza who was straightening herself out. With one last backward glance at the loving couple he held out a hand to the blond sniper. "Well, since we are out here and it is a wedding would you care to dance?"

Riza stared at his outstretched hand and then to his eyes with a hint of suspicion before accepting.

So they danced about the floor and out of the corner of his eye Roy could see Hughes giving him a thumbs up. It wasn't too much longer until they had to break for the cake. Roy waved Riza over to their table and got a plate for her. They had finished their slices and were talking when Hughes and Elicia arrived.

Elicia immediately went over the blond military officer and started tugging at her hand.

"Come on Auntie Riza!" Elicia hopped up and down as she pulled the blond woman out of her seat. "They're going to throw the flowers!"

As Riza disappeared in the crowd of women, Hughes slid into the seat next to his best friend and gave him a satisfied smirk. "Looks like that wedding might be happening sooner than I thought."

"For the last time I'm not getting married." Roy shot him a glare.

At that precise moment a bouquet of daises and daffodils had landed in the lap of Colonel Roy Mustang. It seemed that Catherine had used a little more strength than she had originally planned on using and the flowers had flown over the waiting women and straight into his awaiting lap.

Roy sputtered in disbelief and indignation.

Hughes laughed loudly and without restraint.

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